Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Femistory ❯ Cornflake Girl ( Chapter 1 )

Standard Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine, nor are the characters. I'm not making money, etc. I also do not own the song "Cornflake Girl." It is the property of Tori Amos. I don't own Tori either.

Warnings: Sally POV, language, violence, NCS, verbal abuse, angst, a touch of sappiness, sarcastic humor

A/N: I know a lot of people complain about the female characters of Gundam Wing. I for one think that they're all interesting in their own ways and each have their own kind of strength, but there are very few stories devoted to these women. So, I've created a loosely connected chain of hypothetical pasts. I hope you enjoy, and all comments are welcome.
blah = lyrics

Cornflake Girl
By Solanum Dulcamara

I have always been an outcast. Since birth, I have never fit in. Somewhere along the way, I adopted it as my banner. Pretty pathetic… not that it's shameful to be different. No, I just find it rather sad that my greatest identifying feature lay in how different I was or am from everyone else.

Never was a cornflake girl;
Thought that was a good solution.

My father, Luo Li, was the leader of the largest rebel militia in China. That was his only redeeming quality… that and he cared about my mother very much. He called her Mei.(1) I still don't know her actual name. She was his American bride… I guess you could call it a match made by mail.

When I was born, my father took one look at my pale coloring, scoffed, and named me RuoYing.(2) My mother called me Sally. Never expecting to be able to find me a suitable marriage, my father raised me as a soldier. By the time my younger sister, Sung, was born, I could use a rifle. I was four, and she was a curse and a blessing: the perfect Chinese daughter, but still a daughter. She was trained as much to be a gentle housewife as I was to be a soldier.

Hanging with the raisin girls,
She's gone to the other side.

At seven, I could use high-power explosives and work our entire comm. system. At nine, I was driving the transport vehicles.

Giving us a yo heave ho.

When I was ten, my mother fell ill, and my father didn't want to leave her side. He said, "RuoYing, you will prove useful for once. Get the troops in their lines. I will be out shortly." Never one to disobey, it wasn't honorable, I was so naïve, I went out to face the men. I stood as tall as a 10-year-old girl can, when addressing an army of large men. They looked at me with no small amount of disdain. I knew that they hated me…

Things are getting kind of gross.

Hated the captain's daughter who had all of the same responsibilities as them. I rallied my courage, and said in a strong a voice as I could muster, "Attention! Troops! Formation!"

They looked at me as if the luck dragon itself had crawled from my mouth. Then they laughed, some sneered, and some just shook their heads. One stepped forward. I knew him. His name was Lin. He was a new recruit, no more than 17, but he hated the little girl, as all good Chinese men hate females. He especially hated the little girl because she could show him up with any piece of artillery available to the militia. But as he stepped forward, this little girl was very aware of the size advantage seven years difference gave him. He scoffed, "Shouldn't you be in someone's bed or something?"

And I go, it's sleepy time."

I fought to deep my teeth from grinding together, "Get in line, Lin."

"Why should I listen to you?"

"Because I am giving the captain's orders."

"Bah, they mean nothing when coming from your mouth."

"Get in line, Lin."

My honed sense of awareness, informed me of the movement, but my 10-year-old reflexes did not allow me to get out of the way before his fist connected more than solidly with the side of my face.

This is not real…


I immediately found my face in the dirt, as a result of the force of the blow. It hurt. God, my head was ringing, and I knew he was standing over me triumphantly. So, with the strength I could muster, I pushed to my feet. My head protested, but I stood, faced him, and said as calmly as possible, given my current state, "Get in line, Lin." I saw the next blow coming, but I didn't expect it to hurt so much.

This… this…

I lay in the dirt, feeling the blood grow cold on my cheek. It hurt to even open my eyes; the world seemed far too bright. I wanted to just lay in the dirt, but my pride… my damnable pride… I'm sure it took a very long time for me to get up. One side of my face was swelling and I could feel my blood pulsing a slow trickle down my chin. The world seemed to dip and sway around me as I righted myself to face him again. "Get in line, Lin"

He came at me. I tried to block his advances, but he was bigger, stronger, faster. Seven years advantage, and a healthy dose of pubescent testosterone will do that. I felt each time his fists struck me… pain radiating from points all over my body.

This is not really happening.

As I fell to the ground, I could hear the men; their laughter and jeers strangling me like a banshee's wail. The pain didn't stop. As I lay prone, the barrage of attacks didn't stop.

You bet your life it is.

I kept hoping that I'd go into shock, so I'd no longer feel the pain… or that he'd get tired of pummeling my unresisting body. I never begged… never pleaded with him to stop.

You bet your life it is.

As I began to pray for my death, I heard silence so loud, I thought my ears would bleed.

Honey, you bet your life…

Then, I heard my father's bellowing voice, "Troops! Formation!" It was quickly followed by the hurried bustle of the men getting in their lines. And I felt his shadow move over me, and his voice, colder than the Himalayan winter, "RuoYing, I give you one job, and you cannot even do that." And he left me.

I felt a piece of me stripped away that day.


Peel off the watchword.


A part of my soul died.

Just peel off the watchword.

I wasn't stupid. I understood that what I had couldn't really be called a childhood. I also knew that even that wouldn't last very long. At 13, when my father started meeting with men, and they spoke in hushed voices, I knew that whatever my father was plotting would involve me.

She knows what's going on,


Several weeks before my fourteenth birthday, I was introduced to a man. His name was Wei Lo Long, he was 27, and I suppose, had I been older, I might have thought him to be handsome. His "unusual ways" caused him to become an estranged member of the renowned Long Clan. He had a little sister, who was apparently Sung's age.(3) Well, my father introduced me, and Wei gave me a leering once over and said, "I'll take her What's your price?"

Seems we got a cheaper feel now.

Apparently, I, the oddity of my nomadic village, was about to become some part of his "unusual ways." My father confirmed my suspicions that night, at dinner, "RuoYing, you will be Wei Lo's bride on the day of your birth." Wonderful. I had barely hit puberty, and I was getting married. At least, I hadn't started my period yet. God forbid I bear that bastard's child. Being a late bloomer has its merits.

It was time to put away the few things I enjoyed; talking to Sung on our mat at night… helping my mother candy plums… praying with my grandmother's jewelry box… I had to be a woman.


All the sweeteaze are gone,

Sung couldn't understand that I, a girl really, not a grown-up like mama, was getting married. I didn't have the heart to tell her that the money that they made off of my sale was probably going to her dowry, to get her a good match. The four year age difference had never quite seemed so vast before.

Gone to the other side…

At not yet 14, I have up my youth, or what little of it their was. No more military training… no more dreaming of going my own way. I had always wanted to go to school… no chance now.

With my encyclopedia.


On my fourteenth birthday, I became Mrs. RuoYing Long, but I never stopped being Sally Po.

I didn't really understand what occurred on a wedding night. I'd heard some of the men make jokes, but I didn't know what they were talking about. Like a good little Chinese girl, I was left in the dark.

I was scared, so scared, when Wei took me into the bedroom. I didn't know what to do. He told me I was beautiful and stroked my hair. I tried so very hard not to recoil from his touch.

They musta paid her a nice price.

Then, he put his mouth over mine and it felt very wrong. My stomach lurched and tears sprang to my eyes, but I didn't cry. I never cried. I pushed him off and he laughed at me. He smiled and it made my skin crawl, and he said, "Be a good girl. Take off your clothes and get on the bed."


I was horrified. I panicked and tried to leave, but he grabbed my arm and threw me onto the bed, growling, "Do not dishonor your family. Be a good wife."

She's putting on a string bean love.

Then he was over me, ripping at my wedding robes… the wedding robes that had been my mother's. I tried to stop him, pushing his hands away, "Please! Don't!"

This is not real…

He slapped me, hissing, "Xiao chang!(4) Good. Fight. I'll enjoy you more." I struggled furiously as I heard the fabric giving way.

This… this…

And I lay there, naked and ashamed, pinned beneath his hulking body, and I could hear his pants unfastening. I cried out softly, shaking my head, "Please!" And he smiled his repulsive smile, "That's right. Beg for me."

This is not really happening.

As I felt him huge and hard between my legs, I still didn't fully understand what was going happening. His disgusting lips were on me again and he was whispering, "Scream for me," over and over. Then I felt pain, indescribable pain, ripping me inside out.

You bet your life it is.

I cried. For the first time in my life, I cried. I pleaded with him to stop. He just grunted and slapped me, and continued the movements that sent blazing pain through my entire body.

You bet your life it is.

His last thrust was so forceful, I screamed. He got what he wanted. Damn him. He collapsed on me, his hand roughly traveling over my body, his voice husky and lethargic, "Huang chang, (5) you were good," and he passed out on me.

Honey, you bet your life…


I wanted to die. My dignity, my pride, everything had been ripped away from me.

Peel off the watchword.

My soul was in shreds. I didn't think there was much of me left.

Just peel off the watchword.

I left that night while he was sleeping, only taking what I needed… only what I needed, and my mother's robes. Every movement hurt. I had bled a lot. I didn't have time to wash, so I dressed as I was. The drying blood stained the inside of my pants. I burned those pants.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

No matter how much it hurt, I kept going. I ran all night, and straight through the next day.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

There, I found myself outside of a military operational post. They were skeptical to letting a 14-year-old girl enlist… they were skeptical until I showed them what I could do with an M-16 while driving a jeep at 85 mph through heavy fire. That day, I enlisted as Sally Po. Did I mention that I also took the marriage license? That burned with the pants.


Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

Within four years, I had graduated from the academy with a medical doctorate. I could do something good in the military; helping people, instead of destroying things, or so I thought. During the next year, I earned the rank of major. I quickly discovered that I not only disagreed with the politics of the Alliance military, I strongly disapproved of their ways.(6) But, they gave me protection when I needed it, school when I wanted it, and enough resources to start a rebel group to help free former China. So, it was with a light heart, that I bade a fond farewell to the Alliance.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

Well, I didn't start the rebel group, but I'm pretty sure that they appreciated my joining them. The days were long: battles all day, patching up the men after battle, and working out tactics and strategy at night for the next day's excursions. If I slept, it was for 2 to 3 hours at the most. More often than no, I spent my few free hours thinking about everything that I didn't have time to think about during the heat and hustle of the day hours: my past, my mistakes, where I've been, and where I was. I couldn't say that I didn't enjoy my work. It's what I was bred to do, and I didn't have to get close to anyone. I didn't want to get close to anyone… and then he showed up. He was arrogant, willful, and opinionated.

And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much,
Thinks he knows so much.

But behind it all, I saw a little boy… a lost little boy who was getting his first real taste of the world. Bitter, isn't it? He challenged me, argued with me, listened to me, criticized me, and helped me.

And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much,
Thinks he knows so much.

After WuFei left our camp, I was rather shocked by how much I missed him. Many men have insulted me, but whenever he said anything critical, it was almost as if he was daring me to prove him wrong. He was headstrong and ballsy, willing to fight for lost causes… he reminded me of someone else…


I met up with him again much later, when I had decided to give up my work in China, in order to help the Gundam pilots. Noin was a huge help in locating them… we made a pretty good team, not the best… but good. When we found him, he was as aloof as ever, and it irked and fascinated me. How could this guy be so cool at one minute and so fiercely passionate the next?


Let me tell you, he did not change one iota throughout that war. Him and his pride… his damnable pride… why does that sound familiar? But he's no longer the broken boy. He is very much so a scholar searching out answers to satisfy his sense of justice. He proved his scholarly efforts the next year, when he researched the motives of the Marimeia faction during the Eve wars… or so many thought. I was working with Noin and the Preventers to help stop the conflict. I hated involving the boys again, but they had already involved themselves. Funny that my code name at the time was water. Water cleanses… I have never felt clean.

While everyone saw the strength in WuFei's actions, the determination in his search,

And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much,
Thinks he knows so much.

I saw a lost little boy, who saw no options for his future. So, when I had the chance, I offered him one. He accepted the offer of a job, and in some small indirect way, he accepted me into his life.

We've been partners for just over two years, now. He's still arrogant, willful, and self-righteous,

And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much,
Thinks he knows so much.

and I'm still prideful, headstrong, and defensive.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

We make quite a team… actually, we're the best team the Preventers have ever had.


It's been an uphill battle. We are two extremely independent people who have had to learn to depend on each other. Somehow, WuFei's firmly rooted himself in my life, and I don't know what I'd do if he left. Probably erode away with the topsoil in a rush of water.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?


We both have painful pasts that are difficult to deal with, let alone talk about. It's very hard to open up to anyone, regardless of the fact that I trust him more than I've trusted anyone in my entire life… including myself.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?

So much was taken from me when I was young, that I locked away what was left. I bandaged my soul, and I blockaded my heart, too scared to let them out for someone to tear apart again. I've guarded them so closely, for so long, that I'm no sure if I even know how to open up and let them out.

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys girl?


WuFei looks up at me from the report he's work on in our shared office with a raised eyebrow. Shit… I didn't realize I'd been staring at him. Before I can say anything in my defense, he just smiles at me and goes back to his report. I sit for a moment, surprised, then turn back to my own paperwork, trying futilely to hide my own smile. I may not be able to find where I've hidden my heart, but I think that there's someone who can.



(1): Mei is Chinese for pretty. What Sally doesn't also know is that her mother's given name was May. Her father just created an endearment that she didn't know about.


(2): RuoYing is Chinese for frail flower. Blame any problems with translations on my husbands Chinese-English Dictionary, then let me know so I can fix them.

(3): I'm a personal believer in the small world theory. Wei Lo's little sister was Meiran Long. You may have heard of her. (Duh) This is obviously my own creation.

(4): Xiao chang is Chinese for little whore.

(5): Huang chang is Chinese for beautiful whore.


(6): This is a reference to the Episode Zero manga, in which Sally is sent as the leader of troops to destroy WuFei's colony through biochemical methods. She refuses.