Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply here. I do not own Gundam Wing; however, I DO own Alexandra, Adjani, Joshua, Glacia, Eve and anyone else who is unfamiliar to the show. If you should wish to borrow them, PLEASE let me know!

Series: Gundam Wing

For Eternity

Chapter Five: What If?

Written by: Tiasha

~

What if you did?

What if you lied?

What if I avenge?

What if eye for an eye?

I know I can't hold the hate inside my mind

'Cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life

So I'll just ask a question

What if?

Lyrics: Creed - 'What If? '

~

It was the faint murmuring that drew her back to consciousness first, then the repetition of her name. She winced at the light that was flashed into her eyes as she lay motionless, feeling too weak to even bat the tormenting light. She tried to recall what had happened, but only saw a pair of demonic eyes staring back at her, and that harsh, computerized laugh…

Where was she? Had she been rescued? Captured? The hard, cold metal table she was strewn upon shocked her for it was too familiar. The table, the light still persisting to torment her, and the hushed voices…they all added together to heighten one terrible emotion. Fear. What if she had been captured or kidnapped again? What if she never escaped again? What if she never saw Eve again?

Panicked, she began to struggle against the one who held that annoying light but felt a hand clench down on her shoulder for her effort. She strained against the hand but was rewarded with more restraints being placed on various parts of her limbs. Now in a full-fledged panic, she screamed, demanding to be let go.

The voices were more rushed, clipped, and footsteps could be heard from all sides of her now. She screamed again and struggled even more, thrashing what limbs she could. That light was still in her eyes.

"We've got to stop her before she hurts herself!" a voice ordered over the thrum of voices and…machines. Memories of the compound rushed back at her, memories of the needles, the chairs, the drugs, the tests…

"NO!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, arching her back as she tried to struggle free. "NO! NOT AGAIN!"

She struggled with all her might, managing to free a leg and strike something but she soon found her leg once again restrained. She screamed to be freed but was too far panicked to realize that the voices were slightly familiar.

But one voice cut through her panicked mind and she latched onto it.

"Let her go," a soft, French accented voice said. "Let her be, I'll handle this…"

"MIDII!"Relena screamed, not comprehending the words. "Let her go! Let us go!"

The moment the restraints were gone, she bolted up right but was still blinded by that damn light. A pair of arms latched onto her and she jerked away. But Midii's voice crooning softly in her ear calmed all of her nerves. And finally the light was taken away from her eyes allowing her to see the young blonde French woman who was cradling her, moonlight blonde tresses cascading around them to create a curtain. A curtain of protection…

"Oh shhhh…ma petite amie…..shh…tu as ete ca va….[1]" Her voice whispered over and over.

All Relena could do was wrap her arms around Midii's waist and cry, cry like a child to a mother. She cried as she had in the compound in the late hours of the night when the guards were secretly snoozing. Midii had comforted her then and she was now.

Relena cried in Midii's understanding arms.

---

Wufei frowned as Relena's struggling was finally subdued and turned to glance at Maxwell as the young man rubbed his stomach. Obviously, Relena had more strength than they gave her credit for…

But what made him apprehensive was the fact that he recognized that scream. He had heard it many times throughout the Eve Wars, and her sobs he had heard many times before too. Those were the sounds of one's worst nightmare coming true, and to have realized that a loved one had been lost.

His frown deepened when he realized that Relena must have been tortured in where-ever-it-was she had been placed in. For the young Vice-Foreign Minister he had known four years ago would have never given up her resolve so easily. She would have had to have been tortured to feel as if she had nearly lost everything. He had known that Relena was strong when it came to her beliefs because she had proven it on numerous occasions before; but he also knew that sooner or later, one's strength would run out. The people who had captured her, had tortured her until she could not resist any longer and finally gave in. And he felt somewhat sorrowful, for the world had lost another strong person that it had needed.

Wufei glanced at Yuy from the corner of his eye, trying to read the young man's thoughts, but silently sighed for that mask of indifference was in place.

"So what exactly happened out there?" Sally Po asked, watching them carefully.

"Only Heero can really tell ya," Duo stated, still rubbing his side.

Wufei frowned even more; had Yuy come to the same conclusion he had? Did Yuy believe that Relena had been tortured to have changed this much?

---

Heeroclenched his fists together as he watched Relena cry in the young blonde's arms as they all stood around the medical ward of Preventer headquarters. He knew those screams…he'd heard them all too often before. And it tore at him to know that Relena had been broken so badly to have screamed like that…and he hadn't been able to save her. That was what was torturing him the most…she had been alive the whole time and he hadn't even known… Worse yet, he had believed that she was dead…

"Heero, what happened?" Sally Po asked. His gaze shifted to the blonde Chinese doctor before answering.

"We made sure a few Leos were placed on the carrier before we left, just in case. I took one out, finished off the mobile dolls that were left and brought Relena back to the carrier."

"I was wondering where that Leo came from," Hilde said, crossing her arms as she deduced that Wufei had indeed pulled rank on Relena in order to have the Leos placed on the carrier without the Erinnyes knowing it.

"And Adjani," Sally began, turning her attention away from Heero to the GreekItalian young woman. "You said Zero had been out there?"

The young woman nodded her head and Heero listened attentively as she explained how the Zero system had been sent on the exo-suits frequencies, scrambling the database in each suit and confusing Relena on what she was supposed to do. More or less, this new version of the Zero system still caused the people who used it to go insane temporarily. Which explained why Relena had sounded crazed out there.

Heero'sattention quickly turned to the door of the room as it opened, tensing as Preventer Joshua Anaya entered, toting a small look-alike of Relena. Actually, it was the other way around, Heero realized. The young Preventer was the one being toted as the child tugged at the young man to quicken his pace. The child was just like Relena, taking matters into her own hands.

"Mommy!" the child cried as she let go of Preventer Anaya's hand and crawled into the lap of her adopted mother. "Midii-baa-san [2]!" Heero watched as the child was cradled in the arms of her mother and 'aunt' Midii.

He had to admit that he was relieved to know that the child did not really belong to Relena. To have to recognize the father of Relena's child had seemed nearly impossible; he didn't like the idea of Relena being with someone else. But he'd also been plagued with the realization that one possible way Relena ended up being Eve's mother…was by rape. And now knowing that rape had taken place in that compound…

Heeroclenched his fist; they would pay. All those responsible for having harmed Relena so severely would pay.

---

Sally sighed as she glanced back at the two women and child on the sickbed. She knew they were going to hate her orders but they had to be done.

"She is to get some rest," Sally began looking pointedly at Adjani and Hilde. "I don't care what you have to do, but make sure she doesn't strain herself too much. Midii's injuries are mild for the most but part she has to rest."

The two young women nodded before Hilde hesitantly asked, "What about Lena?"

Sally bit her lower lip, looking back over at the trio. "Keep an eye on her, that's all I can say. And make sure she doesn't keep tension inside for too long. I'm not quite sure how Zero will affect her this time. Normally, your suits start to destroy the virus carrying Zero long before it actually activates or gets up to full capacity. It's the first time that any of you-"

"So she's became a test subject again, huh?" Alex interrupted, her tone angered as she stared at Sally with a hard look. Sally returned the look in kind, frowning at the young woman she did so.

"I never said anything about her becoming a test subject. I merely said that she is the first of you girls to get a full version of the Zero system. I'm not sure how it'll affect you all since most of you were-err-altered from the norm."

Alex merely nodded, still pinning an accusingly look at her before moving off towards the little trio on the sickbed. No doubt to tell them of the current medical restrictions. Sally groaned inwardly when Midii frowned and pouted, saying something in French, as usual. Relena answered but other than that, all else was lost on her.

So she turned back to Hilde and Adjani, making sure that they understood the orders as well. "I'm just looking out for her. Let me know if anything odd happens, and I'll catch Anaya before he heads on out too. If anything, he'll piss her off to where she'll relieve some of that tension by getting even with him."

Hilde chuckled and smiled knowingly as did Adjani.

"Don't worry, we'll let you know in plenty of time before something serious happens to her," Adjani stated and Sally smiled, feeling some of her own tension fade. She had now done all she could for them without interfering too much more into their personal lives. Actually…she turned attention to the men standing with them.

"And I want all of you to behave and not agitate the girls too much. They aren't used to outside company, period. So, behave. If anything, for the sake of their sanity," she teased, earning a few relieved grin and chuckles. Well, now she had done all she could for them, she thought, smiling. "You're all free to go then."

---

He was surprised at best but then again, why should he have been surprised? Relena had been able to hide the fact that she was still alive for nearly four years now, so what was to say that she didn't have connections? But in any case, he had to wonder just where she had gotten the money to afford the building and then continue to pay the utility bills. But she was getting it from somewhere and the most logical possibility to him was that the 'funding' was coming from Lady Une. And for some reason, that didn't bother him, he decided as he watched Relena climb back into the silver mini-van to get a sleeping four-year-old.

Heeroheard Duo whistle in surprise as the braided pilot came to stand next to him, looking at the large mansion they had come to. He hadn't been expecting anything like this either, and Heero suspected that none of the other pilots had as well, except for perhaps Wufei; but the Chinese Preventer raised an eyebrow in mild surprise at the mansion. So that left Heero to question how informed the full-time Preventer really was about all of this.

"Man 'Lena, how do you pay for all of this?" the braided pilot asked, as if reading Heero's thoughts from before.

"Not right now," she said in a hushed tone, cradling the four-year-old against her as the child stirred slightly from having been removed from her car-seat. "Let me put her down and then I'll explain."

"Or are you all going to want a grand tour of our humble abode?" Alex asked, though her humor just barely covered the underlying hostility that was directed towards them. Whether Relena had noticed or not, he couldn't tell, but she did not reprimand the red-haired young woman as she carefully walked to the front door.

"I wouldn't mind seein' what you've been up to," Duo answered, and Heero noticed that his comrade's gaze had been directed at Hilde. Who for the most part was trying to ignore the braided baka [3], but Heero could also tell that she was ignoring him because she was uncomfortable with their presence. But so were all of them, Relena and Alex especially.

He quickly followed the group of young women, Midii leaning on Alex for support, as they made their way up the drive, with Relena and her daughter in the lead. Relena struggled with the key for a moment before she was finally able to unlock the door and push it open, leaving her keys dangling in the lock. But Hilde quickly retrieved them, almost automatically as if this was a common practice, and noted that they all were moving in similar fashion. Only now they had five men to incorporate into their routine.

He was about to follow Relena as she moved up the staircase but was stopped by Adjani clearing her throat and motioning to a room past the foyer that they were all standing in.

"If you will all follow me," she said politely, heading out of the foyer to what looked like the living room. The girls followed Adjani almost automatically, Midii still hanging onto Alex for support. Heero glanced at the others and knew that they were thinking the same thing. What else were they supposed to do? Decline and ruin any chances of actually understanding what was going on?

Sending one last forlorn look at the staircase Relena had ascended moments before carrying a child that wasn't truly hers, he followed the others into the living room, bringing up the rear of the odd little caravan. He took a spot against a wall that gave him access to the entryways should something arise and noted that Wufei had done something similar, only near one of the large windows that overlooked a large back lawn, stables and a corral.

Now all they had to do was wait for Relena to return.

---

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she descended the stairs and prepared herself for the interrogation that was sure to come. As cold-hearted as it sounded, she almost wished her daughter never woke up; at least then there would be no need for Relena to explain how she knew these five men. And Eve would not hear of the events in Relena's past life. It would confuse the poor child and would drive Relena to the edge, forcing her to question events and decisions she had made since initial capture nearly four years ago.

Oh, how she dreaded the next half-hour, hell the next few weeks were going to be torture! She wasn't even going to be comfortable in her own home, her sanctuary where she was just Relena, not Relena Dorlain, nor Relena Peacecraft, nor the pacifist Relena, just Relena who hid behind the façade of Preventer Lenrea Daniels. No, it was not even going to be that simple in her own home anymore! Not unless they by some miracle suddenly understood the difference between the Relena she had been and the Relena she was now. But what if they could…? No, no…there was no time for foolish hopes.

Steeling herself, she moved into the family/living area to find an almost comical site. Duo Maxwell sat sprawled in an armchair, arms behind his head as he surveyed the other occupants of the room but allowing his gaze to linger on a certain dark-haired young woman. The said young woman, Hilde Schbeiker, was sitting at one end of a couch across from Duo (who had up until recently been living with him), looking as uncomfortable as possible but refusing to leave the room due to Midii Une who sat sandwiched between her and Adjani on the couch.

Trowa Barton stood leaning against the side of another armchair, in which Quatre Winner occupied, secretly keeping a close eye on the young French woman who had been rescued not long ago. Midii, the poor girl, was trapped in the room and between Adjani and Hilde, until she was allowed to retire to her room for rest, which wouldn't be until after the discussions were over. But Relena knew Midii well enough to see the apprehensive look she would slide towards Barton before looking away nervously, almost guiltily. Ah, Relena realized, putting the jumbled pieces of Midii's past together bit by bit; this was Nanashii, the young boy she had betrayed in loyalty to her family. The situation was understandable during the war, but they had been much too young to comprehend everything and the boy had taken things a bit too personally, in her opinion that is.

In any case, Quatre Winner was one of the few who were patient, calm and collected; Adjani was the other one, but aside from Hilde and Alex, no one else was really showing signs of discomfort. And speaking of the witch, Alexandria Le Faye was moodily throwing glares at all the men in the room, but mainly in the young Chinese man and Japanese man's directions. Wufei Chang was also throwing dark looks at the young Irish Preventer, obviously agitated by some comment Alex had made in reference to a comment that he had made before-hand no doubt. It never failed that when those two met, words were exchanged and glares followed.

Heero Yuy was situated near the entrance to the living area, leaning against the wall in the typical pose she had come to know…and love. She shook her head to rid those thoughts; thoughts like that were not acceptable anymore, a young girl's silly crush, she had told herself, had no place in a grown mother's head, or heart for that matter. But with him so close now, she could feel her resolve slipping bit by bit, and it frustrated her. She had gotten over him, damn it! She looked him over again; arms crossed over chest, head down, eyes closed in thought, with one foot propped back against the wall. She frowned at that but quickly masked it. If he left a footprint on her nice, clean wall there would be Hell to pay. And Hell already was in debt when it came to her household.

Few seemed to notice her arrival, not even Heero looked up at her but she doubted that he did not know she had entered. It was Heero Yuy after all. So she cleared her throat and when she had gained almost everyone's attention, she spoke.

"So, has Alex bitten off Chang's head yet? Or am I just in time to see the sparks fly?"

This earned a few odd looks but Relena was undaunted as she looked towards Adjani for an answer.

"Well, now that you've said something-" the blonde Greek woman muttered, throwing an annoyed look at her.

"Woman, you have no right-" Wufei began but Alex cut in, standing from her seat on another couch.

"Excuse me?! She has every damn right to say what she pleases! It's her house that your in so get with the program, asshole!"

Relena sighed, shaking her head and knowing that one of the few ways to get those two to stop bickering would be for her to pull rank…and Alex was going to shit a brick when she did too.

"Hey," she called to the two arguing Preventers. "Hey! Children! Let's just keep acting liking we're in grade school why don't we!" That got their attention, an insult to their egos never hurt in the process. "Do remember that I have a sleeping four-year-old upstairs and if she wakes I will force you to get her back to sleep. Don't even give me that look Alex, I can pull rank anytime, and the same for you Chang, only I can make your stay here a living Hell."

Well, it had the desired effect that was for sure since the two shut their mouths immediately. Wufei had learned the hard way that she could indeed make things Hell for him, even if he was at Preventer Headquarters and she was here at home. She had…connections, to say the least.

But what had Relena's train of thought occupied now was the fact that Heero had shifted when she had mentioned Eve, and she didn't know if she should call him on it or just leave it for later. She decided to leave it for later since it was mostly likely that all five-no, four of the five men would have to get used to the idea of her being a mother. Wufei was well enough aware to not let the fact slip his mind, Relena had Sally to thank for that, she thought with a smile.

Taking a deep, almost inaudible breath, Relena moved to sit on the couch that Alex once again sat in, preparing herself for the questions she about to allow to be asked of her. Once seated next to the red-haired young woman, she felt her friend give her hand a reassuring squeeze. She squeezed back lightly to show her thanks and took another deep breath. This was going to make her head spin, she just knew it would.

"Okay, any questions?" she asked, knowing that she was going to regret it with the headache she would most definitely have later. And it was only a quarter to twelve in the afternoon.

'Ancient Ones, bless me with patience,' she silently prayed.

Wow! Short term list this time! But don't think you're getting off lucky though…-_^

Terms: mapetite amie…..shh…tu as ete ca va… = my little friend…..shh…you are fine… Midii-baa-san = Aunt Midii baka = idiot