Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Frozen Heart ❯ chapter 17 ( Chapter 19 )

Frozen Heart 17 by sage_libra (sage_libra@yahoo.com)

Quatre gazed fondly at his best friend. There was a familiar petulant pout on Duo's lips, a sulky glint in his eyes, and inwardly, Quatre rejoiced to see those. This was the Duo he knew and loved. He reached out, clasping the other's hand and squeezing it firmly.

"I missed you, Duo." He said simply.

Duo's features softened, the masks he hid behind becoming superflous in the face of the Arabian pilot's compassion and sincerity. He didn't need to be strong, or brash, or loud around Quatre. The latter's space heart saw right through every facade anyway. And guess what- it didn't matter. Quatre accepted him- neuroses and all. It was a precious gift.

"Same here, buddy." He returned with a heartfelt smile.

"I know." Quatre informed him with a knowing expression. He had had his doubts, but after encountering Shin, he knew they had been right to find Duo. Duo needed them, wanted them. Why else would he have programmed their personalities into his supercomputer?

It had been slightly disconcerting at first, he admitted to himself.

After ascertaining that they meant Duo no harm, or at least, Quatre amended as an afterthought, no further harm, Shin had begun interrogating them about their intentions with regards its master. It had been an interesting, as well as an enlightening experience. Shin's myriad personalities had shone through, alerting him to the supercomputer's true nature. He had easily discerned Wufei's no-nonsense bluntness, Trowa's unflappable pragmatism, his own careful planning, and hell, even Heero's single-minded devotion to duty. It had been a distressing realization. Duo had not only meant Shin to be a guide and security system. Shin had been programmed to take their place as friends and companions.

Well, not if Quatre had anything to say about it. He was not about to fade graciously into the background without a fight.

His eyes narrowed, a martial gleam entering it as he recalled the nerve-wracking anxiety Duo's disappearance had subjected them to. "Although I really ought to be shaking some sense into you." He went on. "What in Allah's name were you thinking of, Duo?" He allowed a sliver of hurt anger creep into his voice. "How could you think that we'd throw you out just because you've been injured?"

Duo winced at the hurt in the gentle tones. Damn. Had it been anyone else taking him to task over his desertion, he would have responded with a flippant evasion. Or at worst, a sarcastic diversion guaranteed to lead the confrontation to safer channels. However, this was Quatre, and Quatre's unstinting compassion and sensitivity had always made obfuscating extraordinarily difficult.

He touched his eyes. "In case you haven't noticed Q, this is not a minor injury." It was a weak attempt at prevarication, and one that predictably, Quatre plowed right through with ease.

"Bullshit." Quatre returned succintly.

Duo's jaw fell. Quatre rarely, if ever, resorted to crudeness. Hell, Duo, this time you've really pissed him off.

"You've been hurt worse, Duo." Quatre told him bluntly. "You've been beaten to within an inch of your life. Tortured almost to the point of death. You've never given up before. You knew you could die in the line of duty. That we might have to let you die to complete a mission, just as we're all of us ready to die. How could you think that caring for a handicapped you could be worse than having to bury you?" He warmed to his topic, allowing the pent-up upset to come through. In front of the other pilots, he had had to maintain a façade of conciliatory peace. He had had to support and defend Duo. However, now that there was only the two of them, he allowed his own anger and sense of betrayal to bleed. He didn't have to be the gentle pilot or the crafty strategist. He can be just him- a guy who had almost lost his best friend due to the latter's insecurities. He can be indignant and outraged. And he knew Duo would understand.

There was no need for masks in their friendship.

"You know I have the resources to help you." He went on, careful to keep his voice down, but making sure that Duo heard every word. "You know that I would move heaven and earth to help you recover your eyesight. And still you chose to stay away." He swallowed. "You almost forced Wufei to kill you, Duo, do you know that? That would have killed him too, but he would have done it because he didn't think he had any other choice."

"Quatre-" Duo breathed.

"Do you know that Heero put his life on the line for you?" Quatre pressed. "He swore he wouldn't fly Wing if Dr. G allowed your execution. That he wouldn't accept any other partner aboard Deathscythe." His voice fell. "You never believed that Heero cared for you as anything more than another pilot. But he would have died for you, Duo. Tell me," He paused meaningfully. "what else does he have to do to prove that he loves you?"

Duo bit his lip, closing his eyes. Every word ripped into him, forcing him to re-evaluate his actions from their viewpoint. God, had he really been so wrong, so selfish? And Heero- he swallowed convulsively. You're an idiot, Yuy. I'm not worth it.

"I'm s-sorry." He got out with difficulty, his breath hitching.

"Duo." A firm tug and he was being wrapped in a pair of strong arms. "You idiot." Quatre said roughly against his hair. "I didn't tell you all these to make you feel bad. We don't want your apology. We don't need it. What we want is you." He dropped a quick kiss on top of the chestnut curls. "Remember, whatever happens, no matter how your eyes turn out, no one is going to think less of you. You're still Shinigami, the God of Death. Don't ever doubt that. I don't care if you never sit behind Deathscythe again, in my heart you'd still be Duo Maxwell, and you'll still be my best friend."

Duo clutched at his friend, shuddering, shaken by the depth of Quatre's faith. The warmth of the Arabian's affection seeped through to the bone-deep weariness in his heart and wrapped it in its healing embrace.

"You'll never lose me again, Quatre." He whispered finally. "Not if I can help it. That's a Maxwell promise."

Quatre drew back. "And that's stronger than Gundanium." He finished with a grin. The responding smile from Duo was watery at best, but it was the reignited light in the amethyst eyes that told him he had regained his best friend. Relief washed through him like a tide. "If you ever put me through that again, Duo," He searched for suitable punishment. "I'll-I'll shave the rest of your hair off while you're sleeping!"

Laughter burst out of Duo, a surprised, carefree sound. A welcome sound.

Quatre couldn't resist. At the risk of courting Heero's jealousy if he ever found out how `touchy' he and Duo were in private, he reached out and enveloped his friend in a bear hug. "Welcome back, Duo." He murmured softly.

"It's good to be back, Q." Duo replied, his heart in the tight squeeze he gave Quatre.

-o0o-

"Max can't eat that." The computer's tone was matter-of-fact, but nobody missed the impatience hovering behind it. "He won't eat anything that requires a knife to slice."

Trowa hastily squelched a grin as Heero's face darkened with menace. They were preparing dinner, and Shin was `overlooking' their preparations. So far, Heero had suggested a number of dishes that Duo loved, and every one had been shot down. It had vetoed pasta (How do you expect Max to twirl the noodles around his fork?), fried chicken (You want Max to wrestle with the wretched fowl on the dinner table?), and now, lamb chops.

"We'll debone it and cut it to bite-size pieces." Trowa spoke up soothingly, thrust in the role of mediator. It really was amazing, he reflected amusedly, how Duo had brought his computer to life. If he didn't know better, he could have sworn there was a real person hiding inside the mainframe. In fact, if he didn't know better, he was even ready to believe the computer was more than a little put out with Heero.

After all, there had to be a reason why Shin insisted on criticizing every suggestion Heero made. It even persisted on calling Duo by his alias, when it had to have processed by now that Max was in fact, Duo. He glanced at the closed bedroom door and hoped that Quatre would make an appearance soon. Wufei had, upon discerning the brewing battle for ownership in the kitchen, wisely bowed out of the fray, and he didn't think he was strong enough to singly prevent Heero from ripping the wires out of the mainframe when pushed too far.

Privately, he found Duo's computer amusing. Not that he was stupid enough to say so aloud. He was also smart enough to acknowledge that his amusement stemmed from not bearing the brunt of the computer's displeasure. He almost had to admire Heero's efforts to contain his infamous temper. It was further proof of his devotion to Deathscythe's pilot.

"Fine." Shin acquiesced grudgingly, then added as an afterthought. "Not well-done, mind you. Derek always prepared Max's meat semi-rare. He prefers it just this side of bloody."

Trowa could almost hear Heero's teeth grinding and winced in sympathy. Shin seemed to take special delight in bringing up Derek's name with every other sentence. It especially relished regaling them with how well Derek took care of Duo, and how much Duo enjoyed Derek's uncomplicated company. To hear Shin say it, Derek was an unhaloed saint. He had inexhaustible patience (you wouldn't believe how difficult Max can be when he's in a shitty mood), bottomless compassion (why, he's everyone's agony aunt in the building!), superior intelligence (yeah, he helped Max in laying-out this unit, and even had a hand in my faultless programming), and unarguable good looks (a regular Adonis, smugly).

"Heero," Trowa sent the other pilot a speaking look. "this will be ready in a few minutes. I'll take care of it. Go get Duo and Quatre."

"And kindly make sure there's nothing lying around where it shouldn't be." Shin chimed in relentlessly. "Max isn't used to skirting around other people's clutter. Derek always makes it a point to keep things neat around here."

Heero's eyes narrowed, his fists clenching. He knew the computer was baiting him, but the knowledge did little to mollify the jealousy eating at his heart. Derek, Derek, Derek. Just how much of Duo's life and heart did the absent man occupy?

It doesn't matter, he told himself, regulating his breathing in the hopes of calming himself. Derek didn't matter. Duo was going home with him. He'd already won. Time enough to gradually eradicate the other man from Duo's thoughts. He just hoped, for Derek's sake, that the latter stayed away for the next three days. He sincerely doubted he'd be able to maintain his civility if the other man attempted to lay claim to his partner.

"Heero, go." Trowa nudged the bristling pilot out of the kitchen. Waiting until Heero was out of earshot, he turned on the supercomputer. "Driving Heero away isn't going to make Duo any happier."

The computer snorted. "Max was perfectly fine until you people came along." It shot back immediately. "Since your appearance he has been wounded and his emotional responses have become highly erratic. Your presence doesn't seem to be conducive to his mental stability or his physical health. My duty is to keep Max in optimal condition and you are in my way."

"And Derek doesn't threaten your parameters of Duo's optimum condition?"

"Obviously not."

"Well," Trowa stepped away from the oven, removing his apron with an economy of movement. "that's exactly why Duo is better off with us." He smirked. "We at least make him remember how it is to be alive."

-o0o-

**I can do this.**

They were all seated around the dinner table, and Duo could feel the other pilots' eyes on him. Waiting. At that moment, he was thankful that he had remembered to put on the tiny sonic receiver in his left ear, thereby allowing Shin to communicate with him directly. It would have been doubly humiliating for Shin to have to say direct him out loud for all the others to hear. As it was, he was blushing slightly even as he paid attention while Shin pointed out the placements of the food in front of him.

Finally, he was ready. He took a deep breath.

**Here we go then.**

"Dig in." He said, lifting his fork and spoon and proceeding to eat with careful deliberation.

Quatre kept the conversation going, and everyone did his part to maintain a semblance of normality. Duo divided his attention between marking the areas of his plate he had eaten from, joining the conversation, and watching out for Shin's reminders in his ear. Fortunately, Heero's shot had been aimed only to unbalance, not to injure, and thus he hadn't lost the use of his arm. It throbbed dully as a reminder to be wary, but Duo had received far worse injuries before to be bothered by it.

Heero ate mechanically, hardly tasting the food he placed in his mouth. It was just food- fuel his body needed to function. Duo had once quipped that Heero could be served roots and he'd savor it the same way he would a serving of roast beef. Heero had responded with a withering glare at Duo's messy plate.

However, Duo's plate wasn't messy now. As Heero watched, Duo ate with orderly precision; his movements carefully controlled. In fact, starting from the moment Duo had stepped out of his room, all his movements had had the likeness of a smoothly oiled mecha. Coordinated, careful, controlled.

Controlled. The word left a bitter taste on Heero's mouth. Duo was the least controlled person he knew. His whole body spoke for him. His hands gesturing wildly in time with his mouth. Long braid tossing about as he scooted from one side to the other. Duo was energy in motion. Electric. Alive.

Watching him forcefully curbing his nature, restraining himself, it hurt. Watching him locked up in a cage of his own making, a cage borne out of necessity and circumstance, it hurt.

It hurt.

Heero wanted to whip out a key that would release the other boy from that cage. That darkness. He wanted to set Duo free. Wanted, with a desire that shook him, to watch the exuberant spirit dancing around the room again. The need burned inside him, a flame that won't be quenched until it had been realized.

Across the table, his eyes met Quatre's and he saw in the blue-green depths a similar determination. Quatre nodded, a small smile easing the sadness in his eyes.

"Damn." The harsh whisper had Heero's eyes darting with lightning speed towards the head of the table.

Duo was kneading the right side of his temple, his face screwed up in an expression of undeniable pain.

"Duo, what's wrong?" Heero was at his side instantly, crouching down beside his ailing partner.

"Migraine." Shin answered. "He always gets them when he overexerts himself. His pills are on the cupboard."

"I'm fine." Duo growled out, blinking rapidly. Multitasking had never been his problem before. But now, having to constantly keep his guard up, especially with people around, and still act normally, bled him dry. He hated appearing weak in front of his teammates, however, and had refrained from saying anything when the headache had started. Until now, when it felt as though every movement drove a drill through his skull. "I'm fine." He repeated through gritted teeth. He forced his hand away from his pounding temple, reaching out to grasp his glass of water. However, a sudden stab of hot pain shot behind his eyes, and he jerked uncontrollably. His hands swept sideways, and the glass flew, shattering as it hit the floor. "Goddammit!" He exploded, stumbling out of his chair and away from the table.

"Duo!" Heero caught him as he swayed, guiding him to the couch and sitting him down, his arms firmly around his partner's shoulders. "Lean back." He instructed tersely, his mouth a thin line as Duo complied. The Deathscythe pilot was pale, his eyes closed, his brow scrunched up in a tight frown as he struggled to rise above the pain. "Computer, how long do his migraines last?"

"Variable." Shin replied promptly, their mutual concern for Duo overriding their antipathy. "He needs to relax. His meds help keep it manageable, but sleep is best."

"Here." Trowa held out a couple of pills and a glass of water.

Duo allowed Heero to help him down the pills, in too much pain to contest being treated like an invalid.

"How do you feel, Duo?" Quatre queried anxiously. He knew about migraines, having seen his sisters battle through the condition on a regular basis.

"Like a herd of elephants had decided to do the cha-cha in my brain." Duo gasped out hoarsely.

"Bed." Heero ordered, his eyes never leaving Duo's white face. He would have pulled Duo to his feet, but Quatre's hand on his arm stayed him.

"Careful, Heero." Quatre cautioned. "Sudden movement and loud sounds will be particularly painful to him." And bright lights, he almost said before his brain caught up with his mouth and he bit the words back.

Heero nodded. Mindful of surprising Duo, he leaned in to speak softly. "Duo, I'm going to carry you to your room now. You need to rest." He waited until Duo nodded slightly, then slid his arms around his partner's slight figure and gently raised him from the couch. The movement, slight as it was, tore a soft whimper from Duo, and a tic jumped in Heero's cheek. "Hold on." He murmured and carrying Duo with as much care as though the latter was fragile glass, he headed for Duo's bedroom.

Duo leaned his head against Heero's strong shoulder, breathing in his scent and taking comfort from his warmth. He sighed, almost happy in spite of the rippling pain the action caused.

Too soon, at least for Duo, Heero was laying him down on the soft covers. However, before he could move away, Duo found the courage through the haze in his brain to hang on to his neck. Quickly, before he lost his nerve, he pressed a chaste kiss against the other's lips.

"Thank you, Heero." He murmured drowsily. A fleeting caress against the curve of Heero's jaw, and Duo released him, sinking into the mattress and closing his eyes with a blissful sigh. He was asleep in seconds.

Heero took in the tousled features, his expression filled with bemused wonder. Will you never cease to surprise me, Shinigami? The imprint of Duo's lips remained warm against his own, and Heero savored the memory, wrapping it carefully in his heart and mind. Gently, he tucked his partner in, making sure Duo was comfortable and secured. Finally, he stepped back from the bed, his eyes caressing the slumbering figure with a tenderness no one had ever witnessed before.

"If you break his heart," Shin's quiet voice filtered through the room. "I will find some way to ensure you suffer through the rest of your miserable life."

For the first time, Heero's eyes flickered with approval for the offensive program.

"Agreed."

-end Chapter 17

author's note: hurray for public holidays! how else could I have finished this chapter so soon?