Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Fun With Soldiers ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kracken

Disclaimer: Don't own them, just play with them.
Warning; Sexual innuendo. It may be funny. It may not. Depends on how you
read it or what you read into it.

Fun With Soldiers

"It won't fit!"
"Yes, it will!"
"I don't know why you're even doing this!"
"Because I love it and so do you."
"Well, it's not going to work. It's too big here and too small here."
"I think if I push and you hitch it up like this... no, that didn't work!
This is so stupid!"
"The whole idea is stupid! Why I let you talk me into this... if Trowa
finds out he'll kill us both!"
"If he finds us like this, he will!"
"Your braid is in the way. I can't see what I'm doing."
"Sorry, but if you would stop being such a nancy boy and hold tight, I
could get in!"
"I'm holding as tight as I can and I am not a nancy boy!"
"I just can't believe that Trowa is smaller than me!"
"Long and thin, not smaller."
"It should fit!"
"Well, it doesn't!"
"What if we stretch it, you know, work it until it loosens up."
"Trowa would definitely kill you. Then HE wouldn't fit. It would be too
big for him."
"Well, I have to do something! I'm determined to have some fun here."
"It's stopped being fun for me."
"Liar. You love it as much as I do, admit it."
"All right, I do, but I won't be able to love it if you don't fit!"
"Okay, I'm going to give it all I've got. Brace yourself, Quatre, and I'll
squeeze and push as hard as I can."
"Okay, I'm ready!"
"What the Hell is going on in here!" Heero had heard enough. He burst into
the room, having overheard the conversation through the cracked doorway
of the bedroom. What met his eyes made even the perfect soldier drop his
jaw in shock.
"Uh, hi , Heero. I can explain..." Duo began.
"Yes, please explain, Duo," Quatre urged worriedly, wringing his hands.
"Yes, explain, " Heero growled, "Explain what you are doing naked, covered
in pink and white polka dot grease paint, and trying to put on one of Trowa's
circus outfits." His face grew very dark and very grim as he added, "I particularly
wish to know why you are in Quatre's bedroom... with Quatre in only his
briefs."
"I think it had better be a GOOD explanation, Duo, " Quatre begged nervously
.
Duo laughed, but it was uncertain and a little fearful. "Just having some
fun?"
Heero's mouth twitched, the only sign he gave that he was amused. He lowered
himself into a chair and crossed his muscled arms across his chest. "Do
better than that."
"Ah," Duo tried again. "Well, you see, Heero, I came in to wake, Quatre.
I was hungry and he, up, well I wanted something cooked and he's really
the only one of us who knows how to work that stove thingy. Trowa wasn't
around, but he had this nifty outfit all laid out. So, while Quatre was
waking up-"
"He slugged me with a pillow and demanded that I cook for him, as if I
were his maid!" Quatre growled. "It took me a few minutes to recover and
realize that I wasn't being attacked by on Oz patrol!"
"Uh, well, I was really hungry. Shinigami's stomach was crying." Duo complained.
"Continue!" Heero demanded.
"Well, like I said," Duo grinned weakly. "It was such a nifty outfit and
the joke was just too good to pass up."
"Joke?"
"Yeah, well, I was going to, well... do I really have to tell you about
that?"
"Yes."
"Well, I had a training session with Trowa today. I though I'd ride in
Deathscythe in his clown outfit and, when me and Trowa were in the thick
of things, I'd turn on the vid screen and ...well, show him... It would
have been REALLY funny."
"He didn't give me time to dress," Quatre squeaked when Heero turned his
attention to the Blonde Arabian. Quatre snagged a robe from a chair back
and slipped it on.
"Because I don't have much time!" Duo complained and then sighed. "I guess
the jokes ruined though, this costume was tailored to Trowa's little ass
and my nice one just doesn't fit."
"If you would stop eating so many pocky-" Quatre began indignantly, defending
Trowa's ass.
"Are you saying I have a fat ass?" Duo demanded.
"Well, if the costume doesn't fit..."
"Stop!" Heero snapped and they both looked at the perfect soldier with
wide eyes as he approached Duo. He sized Duo up as if he were a military
operation, slowly took hold of the costume, and then jerked upward, using
all of his steel bending strength. Seems protested. The material unwillingly
stretched, but It finally went onto Duo's slim frame.
Duo gasped uncomfortably, feeling his anatomy being squeezed in delicate
areas. "Uh, Heero? What gives?" Duo wondered. "Thanks for the help, but,
uh, why?"
Heero stepped back, looking Duo up and down. The side of his mouth twitched
again. "I want to see. Patch your vid screen to my laptop and Quatre and
I will watch from here."
Duo broke out into a grin. "By the big toe of Deathscythe!" Duo crowed.
"Heero Yuy has a sense of humor! See ya guys! This is going to be great!"
Duo went flying from the room. Quatre smiled after him, but then looked
at Heero curiously as the man led the way to his room and his laptop. "Trowa
is going to be furious, you realize, Heero? He's going to be so angry he's
going to crush Duo and Deathscythe under the heel of his Heavyarms."
"Now that will be REALLY funny!" Heero exclaimed and laughed.

*******OWARI*******

Duo: It was late when you wrote this, right?
Kracken: I was trying to show that Heero had a dark sense of humor.
Duo: If you say so. (Rolls eyes)

(See, I do talk to anime characters, so, if you sue me, you'll get nothing!
Nothing! Bwahahaha!)

Yes, waaaay too much coffee.