Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Garou ❯ In the Woods ( Chapter 19 )

Interlude: In the Woods

This is NOT an episode ^^ Just a little bout of silliness, happening just after the episode finishing by Fei and Hee-chan butt naked in the woods after Wu turns back into a human...

Warnings: This fic contents: very lame humor, two bishonens strutting around in the woods, their asses bare. Yum. No branches were harmed during the writing of this fic. And Wufei's butt will recover. Promise.

* * * * * * * * *

Squish, squish.

Whap!

'Aouch!'

Wufei sighed discreetly and, with many contortions, dodged yet another brambles branch which had decided to grow across the path, wondering how his comrade seemed to accomplish the same thing without any effort.

The Japanese moved in the woods like if he was melting with it, like a ghost. He never walked into a puddle of mud and felt that cold and wet filth insinuate itself between his toes by surprise, he was never caught by surprise in the nose by a third branch hidden behind the first two that was so aggravating to dodge, and the nettles seemed to move out of his path as though he were the Moses of the woods. And yet, on the contrary, they seemed to appear as soon as Wufei wanted to put his foot somewhere. Frankly, green soles of feet were much less fun than green thumbs.

At first he had followed close behind Yuy to benefit from his funny power on the woods, but the bastard regularly forgot to hold back the branches for him. And if Wufei complained, he would sound like a whining girl, while the brown-haired boy seemed to be completely at ease. Wufei hated him.

Squish, plop, plop.

Shit, yet another mud puddle... this one thick and sticky. Feels like sticky shoes. Repulsive. Quick, a patch of grass to wipe it up!!!... fuck, brambles decided to play hide-and-seek under the grass, bitches. You jump on one foot to continue to walk forward while removing, or trying to remove, the thorn in your heel... scratching out the skin on your hand in passing on a trunk when you try to hold yourself back so as not to fall over butt first in a tuft of nettles...

...You try to look normal when Heero turns around with one eyebrow up, to ask what the fuck you're doing behind his back.

You try not to blush nor to jump on him to tear his throat out with your teeth when he bites his lips and his shoulders begin to jump as if he had troubles not to laugh his ass off in your face, bastard that he is.

And on top of all that, Wufei was COLD. But then, it was normal since he was NAKED, bloody hell!! But apparently since it didn't bother Yuy either, he wasn't allowed to complain. He was so cold his boys had gone back home, and he had to bite his cheeks not to let his teeth clatter, so that the sound of castanets wouldn't be heard from fifty meters.

It COULDN'T get worse.

A stick laying on the ground tripped him and he lost his equilibrium, plunging forward, barely managing to catch himself before kissing the ground. Sighing, he briefly closed his eyes. Whew, it had been close, once again.

"Err... Wufei? ..."

The Chinese boy opened his eyes, alarmed.

"...Could you..."

He had his nose on a smooth, beige-pinkish area, covering...

"... let go of my hips?"

A pair of ass cheeks.

"EEEEEEEEEK!!!!!"

Wufei fell back on his ass on the ground (on a stone, ouch) and looked up at Yuy who had turned around and was staring at him, bemused. The Chinese boy turned solid red. The angle of view hid absolutely nothing of the most secret parts of his comrade's anatomy. It was something he could have done without, thank you very much!!! What could he do to chase that picture out of his head now?

"... Wufei? Daijobu ka?" asked Heero, stepping toward him.

Wufei twisted his own neck to face him and not let his eyes wander on his private parts.

He could have lived without knowing that Heero's hair in this place was as vivacious and undisciplined as the one on top of his skull. Totally. Yes sir.

Too bad he couldn't become amnesiac again on command.

Yuy bend toward him, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder, totally oblivious to his nakedness. Or to the fact that, because of the movement, his preciosas were happily bounding on his thighs.

Okay, NOW it couldn't get any worse.

"Oooh... Charming..." gushed a falsetto voice, high and affected.

"Yes, aaabsolutely delicious..." answered another voice, as affected as the first and much more lecherous.

The two pilots froze, then slowly turned their heads. Two queers clothed à la explorer version colonial cask and short-of-the-tuft-shorts were devouring the both of them with their eyes, grinning like madmen.

Ok, it could still get worse. But when would he learn to keep his trap shut!? wondered Wufei, once he had finished yelping loud enough to wake up the dead and jumping and hiding behind his comrade's legs.

"Wufei, I'm going to think that you have an obsession concerning your nose and my ass..." muttered Heero without letting the two effeminate men out of his sight.

Even more scarlet than before, the Chinese boy briefly considered biting down, but in the position he was in, Yuy would probably think he was making a pass at him.

The taller of the two was literally purring, caressing his short leather bomber-jacket in a way that made Shenlong's pilot shiver, and not in a good way. The other bounced on his high heels, wiggled his hips, and licked his lips.

"Oooooh, sorry to interrupt... Can we make it up to you?" asked the taller of the two, drooling without shame.

Wufei glanced up at Heero. Heero glanced down at Wufei. They gave each other a bored look, before paying attention to the two men once again. In their forties, not in top form... Hmm...

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so..."

They shared a little smirk, and the men smiled back, radiant.

* * *

Heero readjusted the mauve, form-fitting short shorts, pulling them lower so that he didn't feel like you could measure his butt crack, then put the leather jacket on his naked shoulders, while Wufei, sitting on the ground, slipped on the shoes. Behind them, the two men, tied to a tree, were shooting murderous glares at them.

"Don't you want shoes?" Wufei asked to Heero. The wolf shrugged.

"With platforms? No thanks," he answered, making a face. "I'd rather stay barefooted..."

Wufei shrugged too. "As you wish," he said indifferently.

The ones he had chosen had only small heels, it would still be better than thorns.

After putting a cell phone near the two captives, they walked away, abandoning the two queers, not giving a damn about the screams, stifled anyway by the gags.

"We were lucky to meet them, all things considered," remarked Heero a little later, biting into a cereal bar he had found in one of the pockets of his new leather jacket.

"M-m," acquiesced Wufei, crushing with satisfaction nettles growing on the path. "I'm so happy to have shoes and clothes..."

"It's for the food that I was saying that, " answered Heero, off-hand, "but... I admit I was beginning to get really cold."

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^^; frankly, me, sometimes.....