Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Goodbye Yellow Brick Road ❯ Part Five ( Chapter 5 )

Part Five

Duo looked over his sleeping roommate and wondered what they had done to him. He was curled up in a little ball, hugging himself protectively, and his cheeks were stained with dried tears.

Had he really came back to the room and cried?

He had the urge to lay down with him and try to rest his fears, yet he knew that would be stupid....

If they could make such a cold person cry....

What were they doing now?

~~~

Music danced lightly through the crystal clean air in the huge meadow in which he stood. Duo looked around at the beauty of the place and giggled, skipping through it and falling upon the grass, hugging the sun warmed beauty to him.

Was this what it was like to be free? Was this what was outside of the concrete prison?

He looked up into the sky to see clouds like he'd never seen before and the sun that glared down and stung his eyes and he lifted a hand over them and laughed at the beauty of it all.

'Duo....'

He looked up and around to see who it was that had called his name.

No one was there.

He stood, genuinely spooked, and wished the now almost annoyingly cheerful music would go away.

There was something wrong about this and he could feel it.

'You must find it....'

He didn't need to ask what it was that he needed to find.

It was the secret.

The secret in the book that he couldn't open!

Where was it?

'You are wrong.... You must find it....' the celestial voice spoke to him and he began to run.

He had to get away! He couldn't take it any more! He couldn't find the secret because he couldn't open the book! What could he do?!

Suddenly he came to an abrupt halt as he found himself staring at four different doorframes standing upright in the middle of the meadow. Different colored electricity shot through each one. Black, white, green, and red. Through each portal there was a podium with the book sitting on it.

"Holy shit...." he whispered softly when he read the markings over each of them.

All in H'sung they read "Earth", "Fire", "Spirit" and "Water".

"No Wind...." he realized with a shock. His Art wasn't there. What did that mean?

Taking a deep breath, he evaluated his options. What could he do? It was all a dream, so it couldn't hurt him, right? He couldn't just stand there for the rest of the dream; he had to do something. What would it hurt to go through one of the frames? There was nothing left to lose.

Sucking in as much air as he could and hopping to gain just a grain more courage, he picked the 'Earth' door because it was the first one to his left.

So he stepped forward.

The black lightening scared him a little.

Okay, so it scared him a lot. It cackled and fizzed as it met the other side of the frame almost louder than the annoying music box in the background.

'There's nothing to lose,' he promised himself as he took a step into the threshold.

Suddenly he was bombarded by images and emotions and thoughts that were not his own but pained him just as much as if they were.

He was watching it, but was connected to it, and began to realize that he was watching clips from Heero's life.

When he was a child, running and playing with the other kids. At first they made fun of him and teased him and were afraid, but then he showed them what he could do with his Art.

Later, when he was a little older, and in love. Pictures of the pretty girl flooded his vision and Duo was filled with a warm feeling that didn't want to go away.

Every time she spoke to him.... Every time she smiled.... Every time he looked at her....

Then they kissed. They were alone, together, closing up the small store. He had visited her, his anxiety filling him and Duo felt this. He walked up to her and they chatted for a few minutes. He asked if he could help. She agreed. They worked in a comfortable silence, but their hands met as they tried to open the same door. They stared at each other in childish embarrassment of two in love thirteen year olds and Heero moved in to let their lips touch.

Days they were together, happy, swimming in a small pond, eating a picnic in a forest, showing each other the little skills they knew.

Then things turned bad as another boy entered the scene.

He wanted the girl, Duo knew this. Heero wouldn't let this happen.

He got mad when he found this new boy and his girl kissing.

Without thinking, he used his art and destroyed the man, making the cells in his body want to separate from each other and making him explode in a bloody mess that slopped upon the barn-yard floor and had the girl screaming in terror and vomiting.

Pain wracked at Duo as he realized what he'd done and he ran from his village, ran from everything he knew, and even tried to run from himself.

He lived alone in the forest where he became very quiet and strong.

Then the missionaries came and dragged him away.

The trip was very painful and they beat him when he tried to get away. They chained him up to a tree and whipped him with their new, leather horsewhips until he coughed up blood from the pain.

Sometimes, when one of them was especially feeling horny, they'd chain him up to the tree and rape him like he was immortal, digging their fingers into his skin, biting at his flesh like dogs, and pushing into him as if they truly didn't care if they ripped his body open, as long as they had their sick pleasure.

The trip was pure hell for Heero and he had tried to kill himself several times along the way, but they always caught him in the act and wouldn't let him die 'just yet'.

Then he got to the Academy and he thought it was all over. They shoved him around and pushed him here and there, keeping him locked in the dungeon for a long while before they decided to do something with him.

But this was better than ever before because at least he wasn't being raped or beat. The insane people were actually a nice change from the people he had been around for the past three months. The insane people weren't mean, they didn't hurt you. They talked about stupid nonsense and what they would do when they got out. Sometimes they'd talk about flying cows or blue and pink bunny rabbits and Heero enjoyed this talk. He could have gotten used to it.

No such luck. They dragged him out and threw some Bands on him and placed him with Duo.

It was the first time Duo had ever seen himself and it was strange to be looking at one's self from someone else's view.

At first, Heero didn't want to say too much. He realized that he was thinking that Duo was pretty and was comparing him to the girl of his past and this made Duo want to blush and hide his face. It was strange to be thinking affectionately of yourself, even if it was someone else's thoughts that were infiltrating you.

But Heero was hurt from the past and didn't want to get too involved and tried to keep his distance, but he liked Duo. Duo was happy and didn't seem like he wanted to hurt him.

Duo was like a child, in a sense, stubborn and scared and needy. He thought nothing of it when he lay down next to him in the night, the night he awoke screaming and crying. He actually enjoyed the feeling of having someone cuddle up close to him and not want to hurt him.

Then Heero's memories struck on today and Duo thought he might rip his skin from his body, he felt so dirty, so sick.

They had promised something good when they took him up into one of the rooms. A huge white bed with fluffy sheets. Big windows with sunlight streaming through them and onto the plush carpeted floor. Everything white and beautiful like a dream.

But then it turned into a nightmare as an unfocused man lay him down on the bed and raped him so hard he bled and sobbed and screamed prayers up to the Divine for mercy and forgiveness for whatever sin he committed.

His body was on fire and he felt so filthy he wanted to die. Was this all his life was? Was this all he was? A screw-up who made an excellent rape toy? Why couldn't he die and have it all over with? There was nothing left.... There was nothing left at all....

But then Duo walked up to him and asked him if he'd be okay, and he couldn't meet his eyes.

How could such a benevolent angel bestow such kindness upon such a hideous malformation in the weaving of life?

He was so shamed that he could not speak, and had to leave such beauty behind. He could not taint it with his ugly soul.

And so Duo fell to the ground beyond the door in such an disheveled state that he didn't not even realize the music box still playing it's cheery tune, nor that the book lay open in front of him, before he awoke.

~~~

Sobbing, he came to in the silence of the room. Heero lay still sleeping on the other bed and it broke Duo's heart.

All that had passed through him so quickly...but he knew that it would always be a part of him and all the pain inside.

How could one have suffered such a filthy past as that? It was truly no wonder he never trusted anyone or cared.... It was no wonder he didn't smile.... It was no wonder he kept locked away inside himself, with a past like that....

Weeping quietly, Duo stood and walked over to Heero, sliding into his bed and hugging him close in the darkness of the night. He didn't care what Heero thought when he awoke, he didn't plan out what he would say. He was working on a here and now basis and right there, right then, he felt an undeniable need to try to comfort the other boy and hug him and make him feel that he wasn't such an awful person. Make it known that maybe he had a future, if they could get out of this hellish prison.

Make it known that he didn't have to be what his past wanted him to be. He didn't have to be a rape object, he could be something more.

Duo wanted to make it known that he could be cared about and loved just as much, if not more, than any other human being on the earth.

~Til Then~