Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Goodbye Yellow Brick Road ❯ Part Ten ( Chapter 10 )

Part Ten

"Long ago there was a man by the name of Shukan who had great Visions," the Teacher/Drone spoke in the mindless monotone one came to expect.

Duo tried not to doze off as he 'listened'.

"He wrote down most of these and they became the Fifteen Prophecies. However, one is missing. We know there are Fifteen because he often speaks about them...."

Duo doodled on the paper in front of him mindlessly. He realized what he was drawing and scrutinized it.

Heero holding him in a valley of beautiful flowers.

Immediately he ripped it out and crumpled it up.

Not only would he be locked away forever if They found him drawing that, but it was stupid and frivolous and would only prove to hurt him in the end.

Everyone turned to look at him with the paper between his hands and he gave a magnificent smile.

No one found it too unusual, but the Teacher was once again upset for him interrupting the class.

He cursed himself mentally.

Heero hadn't even talked to him for the past two days. But it wasn't like he was talking and Heero wasn't answering. He was in part to blame because he was hiding.

He didn't believe there was anything special about the stupid dreams he had been having.

That was what he believed.

Yet there was still a little hesitation....

Why couldn't Heero just give him a little consolation?

It was obviously too damn much to ask.

~~~

Duo lay in the East 'Garden' after classes. It was really just an untended mob of weeds that they wanted to call a garden to keep up appearances.

Why they wanted to do that was also beyond Duo, but as stated, he didn't ask questions.

His shoulders shook violently as he sobbed into the grass, completely alone in the whole school, in the whole universe.

He'd never felt so bad before, so low.

There was nothing left to look forward too.

Even the sun above him seemed dull and jaded.

Just like him.

What was there to live for?

He would never get out of this prison, he'd never have love, he'd never have a life.

He'd never live.

He'd always be on the inside of the wall.

They say that grass is always greener on the other side, but Duo didn't know how he could be lucky given the circumstances.

He sat up suddenly with impetus deep in his soul.

He had to get away, but he couldn't do it with this body.

So he'd get away in soul.

Wiping his eyes on the back of his arm he stood and faced the brick wall on the other side of the garden.

He had to get out.

With a deep breath he ran full force into the wall, slamming against it, his head connecting with the rock and stunning him momentarily as he fell to his knees.

He felt the blood began to trickle down his face. Sticky, warm, red....

It ran over his lips and he tasted the faint copper as he licked them, standing and falling as the world spun wildly around him.

He coughed, his breathing paining him as he crawled away from the wall, trying to keep focused.

He wasn't dead yet.

He had to die.

He had to be free!

He had to get away...!

Standing in the desolation around him he balanced himself and wiped his now soaked bangs out of his face, concentrating on the wall before him once more.

Just one more go and he'd be gone....

He'd be free....

He had to....

He was dying to be free, and he would die for his freedom.

Screaming he ran, pelting himself as hard as he could into the wall and knocking the breath out of him. He heard a loud cracking and a sharp pain seared through his shoulder and up and down his arm, through his chest, and faintly he realized that he had completely destroyed his left arm by completely mutilating all the bones where his arm joined the socket.

He found it harder to breath as he lay on the ground, staring up at the sun.

Why had he not died yet?!

He wanted to be free.... Was that so much to ask...?

His sight was now obscured by blood and tears as he stumbled away from the wall once more.

But his vision was perfect. His vision of freedom was unsoiled.

On weakening legs he stood, cradling his ruined arm in his other hand, and he faced the wall as if it were a monster he could not get past, but had to face.

"I will be free!" he shrieked as he ran, picking up momentum and was suddenly pulled back by strong arms and pressed to someone's chest.

With his good hand he beat his captor and screaming and cried.

But he would not let go.

"I want to be free! Let me go! I need to be free! One more go, dammit! Let me go! Let me go!" he cried, his voice harsh and burning the words.

"Shut the fuck up," the voice replied and Duo was so taken aback that he did.

It was Heero.

He sobbed into Heero's tunic and Heero bore with him. He was bleeding so bad from his head that he would have thought he'd had a concussion. Heero pet his hair and tried to soothe him.

Why...? Why? Why couldn't he die and get it over with? Why...? Why? Why couldn't he be free? Why? Was there no mercy? No pity in the Divine? Why...? Why was he still here?

He sobbed so hard he ended up vomiting all over Heero, who didn't really mind considering he was covered in blood and tears anyway, and just hugged him tighter as he passed out in his arms.

~~~

Duo came to in his room.

It was dark and quiet and he couldn't feel his left arm at all. He had a pounding headache that made his world spin around him and made him feel nauseated.

Slowly he sat up and his stomach flipped over as he retched onto the sheets between his legs.

He gagged a little and wiped harshly at his mouth, moaning lightly and feeling so bad he might as well have been dead.

Swallowing, he clutched at his stomach as two tears ran down his cheeks from the pain.

Suddenly he realized that he was being watched as the figure stood and yawned, laying the back of his hand across his forehead.

"Hmm. That was really stupid of you," Heero muttered as he carefully stripped off Duo's sheets and exited the room with them.

Duo knew it was stupid, but he if he had the chance to do it again, he'd do it again and see if he couldn't just impact a little harder....

Once again he moaned and tried to vomit, but had nothing left.

Heero walked in and when he saw this, he took a little pity on Duo. He must have wanted death pretty bad to try to kill himself by running into a wall, but it sure was a stupid way of attempting death.

"You're body is going into convulsions. I'm sure the migraine you're bound to have probably isn't helping. You really screwed yourself by doing that. You're arm may never work to it's full potential again."

"I don't care," Duo struggled out before heaving again.

Heero sighed and stripped the sheets off his bed and laid them on Duo's, spreading them over his knees where he sat.

Heero wanted to smack him and tell him that he should care because it wasn't right to go and commit suicide, but he also wanted to sit down and hold him and tell him that he mattered to people and that he shouldn't kill himself because people cared about him.

Both of which he knew wouldn't be appropriate for the situation.

So instead he said, "By all right, you should have had a concussion. Hell only knows why you don't. You should be dead."

"I only wish," he spat, hugging himself.

Heero sighed once more. "I'm not going to pretend like I know everything you've been through," he said, "but I know that I've had a pretty jacked up past and that I wanted to commit suicide, but I figure that the Divine must have had *some* reason for giving me life, and it certainly wasn't so that I could just go and commit suicide."

Duo thought about this and glared at nothing. No, Heero didn't know everything he'd been through, but he did have a point.

Suddenly he felt sick again and covered his mouth weakly with his single mobile hand as he tried to throw up.

Heero propped him up against some pillows as he began to cough violently. Drawing his hand back, it was covered in blood, as were his lips, and his breaths came ridged and painful.

"You're going to wish you were dead with this recovery process," Heero mumbled darkly as he washed off Duo's hand with a wet cloth.

"Heero...." he whispered, fear obvious in his voice.

Heero rolled his eyes, glad Duo couldn't see the gesture.

He climbed into the bed with him and laid him down, wrapping his arms around his body.

Duo shuddered and tried not to be sick again as he snuggled into Heero's warmth shamefully.

Heero was too sweet. Sleeping with him and cleaning up after him and continually accepting him through all the stupid things he'd done since they met. How could he keep it up? Didn't he hate him after everything he's put him through?

"Try to get some sleep, huh?" Heero whispered as he sunk into the pillows.

Duo nodded, which made him feel a little sick, but tried to ignore the feeling.

"Everything will be okay...." Heero murmured as he slipped into sleep, dead tired from sitting next to Duo for the past three days, waiting for him to awake.

"Are you...sure...?" Duo asked back, frightened.

"I promise."

~Til Then~