Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Diaries 2 ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Title: Gundam Diaries 2 ~ Wufei 5/??

Author: Makoto Sagara
Series: Gundam Wing
Archive: fanfiction.net, afallenangel.net/makotosagara/, mediaminer.org, Foreverfandom.net, makochanupdates.livejournal.com; anywhere else, please ask
Category: Angst, Action

Pairings: 2x5, 3x4, 1x? D+?
Rating: M
Warnings: Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, lemon, and slightly AU
Disclaimers: I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

Author's Notes: I promised Duo a lemon…. So, um, here it is. God, this is the first lemon I've written in FOUR years. How strange it feels. I have to constantly remind myself of what I actually want to happen…. >> Let a girl know what you think, kk?

Symbols: *blah* emphasized thought
*~*~* Major change of scene
*~~~* Minor change of scene

August 13th, AC195 17:24:33

It has been a very long time since I started this… I suppose I could call it a journal, even if I do not keep it every day. Lately, Meiran and my home colony have been on my mind. While I am working with the other Sweepers, or lying in bed with Duo next to me, my mind wanders back to that field of flowers where I last held my wife as she died in my arms. There is no logical reason as to why this is so. Perhaps Duo would have an explanation, but I don't want to bring it up with him.

Howard has finally won in his campaign to get Duo and I to return to school. Peacemillion is currently berthed around the Hawaiian Islands, and we have Howard's word that it will be there for as long as we feel the need for that reassurance. He has also promised to keep our Gundams safe while we are separated. Truthfully, I find no pleasure in a reminder so blatant of a war fought by children against megalomaniacal adults that we barely won. All I want to do is to curl up next to Duo and make love when we desire.

And when I think that is when I'm reminded most of Meiran. She was so certain, so straightforward. Duo is like her in that aspect.

While he is beautiful, he is strong, smart, certain, and tries very hard to be happy. I wouldn't change that about him, even if I could. The only thing that I regret is that sometimes he looks at me as if I will disappear again. I severely regret that in a moment of extreme weakness I left him behind with only Winner and Barton as company. When I returned, I could tell that he hadn't been sleeping or eating properly, and he had horrible nightmares for weeks that lasted until about two weeks ago.

I must remember that even though I have lost so much, so has he, and that his mask of happiness can crack at any time. Last night, for the first time in ten days, he woke the both of us up from a nightmare. He was yelling, trying to fight someone or something off. I only managed to avoid having my head taken off by grabbing his wrist before it connected with my face. That only made it worse.

“Duo, xin ai, it is a dream,” I said carefully, soothingly.

“'Fei,” he cried, his voice thick with sleep as he buried his head in the crook of my right shoulder and neck. “Don't leave.”

“I'm here. I'm right here, Duo.”

“You'll leave again,” he whispered, clutching desperately at my left shoulder and pinning me with one of his legs. “Don't.” I could feel the tears he shed as their heat splashed against my body.

“Shh,” I whispered, pulling his face up to place a soft kiss on his lips. “I won't. I promise.”

Those were the last words he allowed me to say as he deepened the kiss. Somehow, he'd awoken and was crawling on top of my body, the thick coil of his braid tickling my arm as it followed the rest of his body. I could feel his arousal and my own answer to the feel of his skin on mine. I suppose he thought that the thin boxers we both slept in were too much, because he was then ripping them literally from our bodies.

Soon, we were touching everywhere on one another. I could feel my body arch as his hands roamed down my chest to my groin, grazing my bare thighs with light, teasing touches. In response to his torture, I began kissing and nipping at the sensitive spot behind his ears. As I drew a delicate ear lobe in between my teeth, his calloused fingers began ghosting up and down the length of my cock.

“'Fei…”

The sound of my name falling from his lips made me hungry for him. My hands reached for the end of his long braid, quickly unraveling the silken mass until we were both drowning in the chestnut locks. And just as fast, I switched our positions so that I was looming over him, drinking in the sight of his sun-kissed skin, flushed cheeks, straining arousal, and lust-hazed violet eyes. It took everything I had to not ravish him right then.

I knew that more than the sex, he needed the reassurance that I was really there with him. So, instead of just fucking him into the mattress like I wanted and he was begging me to do, I leaned down and gently kissed his bruised lips.

Duo smiled into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around my neck, forcing our bodies to rub against each other. It was the most exquisite torture that I have endured. To be locked in his arms, his hair surrounding our bodies, our bare flesh touching… There is nothing better in this world. “Take me, `Fei,” he said huskily, each word from his mouth going directly to my cock.

“Duo,” I groaned, reaching for the lube that we'd discarded earlier. I found it under the pillow where Duo's head was resting and extracted it without pulling any of his hair out. I quickly coated the fingers of one hand, teasing his ear with my teeth and tongue. He continued his mewling as I spread his legs with one of my knees.

“Oh, yes,” he hissed as my fingers found his tight entrance and slid one in. “Fuck me,” he purred, his arms tightening their hold around my neck and a hand pulling the tie from my hair. “Make me scream.”

I moaned as the words fell from his lips and I inserted a second digit into his now arching body. As I prepared him, I pulled back a bit from his tight embrace and slathered the lube on my erection with my other hand. He began writhing as I found his prostrate and his mewling reached a new decibel. Without warning, I lifted his legs on my shoulders and lined my now painful arousal up with his sweet ass.

“Now,” he begged, his hands latching onto my wrists. “Do it now, `Fei, please.”

I hissed from the combination of his grip and the way his body opened to envelope me. He still felt so tight, so warm, and so… perfect. Slowly, so slowly, I began making shallow thrusts, and Duo's strong hold on my wrists lessened.

“'Fei… yesssssss.”

I leaned forward to seal his mouth with my own, and he rose to meet me. His cock became trapped between our bodies and the friction as we moved together had him screaming into our kiss. I shifted one leg so that it rested around my waist and his body jolted upwards as I hit his prostate. “Fuck, `Fei, yes, please, yes. OH GOD!” He continued to babble as I sped up and leaned over to suck on his ear.

I could feel his body stiffen before he came, the heat splashing over both of our stomachs. I managed a few rough thrusts before light grew to pinpoints behind my eyes and then exploded in a rather long, eloquent string of babble in Mandarin that I won't repeat here.

Sated, he pulled me down on top of him, placing gentle kisses to my cheek and ear. I could feel all the bodily fluids trapped between our bodies, but I was just too comfortable in his arms to move at that moment. “Duo, I'm not leaving. You understand that, yes?” I whispered those words as we were so close.

“I do,” he answered sadly, but I could tell there was something else. “I… I just worry that you might leave again.”

“I wouldn't do that to you again,” I said, pulling away from his embrace to stare into his beautiful eyes. “Duo… I told you when I returned that I felt like half a person without you.”

“Which I imagine was difficult for you,” he replied with a light tone that made me growl.

“It was,” I said through clenched teeth as I pulled out of his body and sat up on the bed. “Do you not understand that I don't want to hurt you again?”

“I… Yes, `Fei,” he said soberly, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. “I'm sorry. I just can't help…”

“I know. Let's take a shower and go back to sleep.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That was last night. Today… has been stressful. While he is attempting that we are fine, I can feel the distance that is between us still. I knew that when I returned that I would have much to do to repair the damage that my absence caused, but I was hoping that his resilient nature would allow him to forgive me as well.

That is not fair. He *has* forgiven me. He just can't forget, even though he has tried to do so. It will take more time. It has only been two months. I must remind myself that and not be cross with him. This is my fault and I must make it up to him. It is just difficult sometimes.

Howard has found a good school for us outside of Maui, a private boarding school, of course. I just wonder how he is going to manage to get us a room that we can share. If it proves to be impossible, I have begun searching the housing in the area and checking on the road conditions for my motorcycle and what it would cost us to get an automobile. So far, I have been productive and the information is waiting until I need it. When I questioned the old Sweeper boss this afternoon, he said that the school's assistant headmaster would be calling tomorrow to update him about the living conditions.

I told him about my solution in case of not being able to get what we want, and he insulted my honor by saying that he hadn't imagined that I cared so much for Duo. If it wasn't for the fact that my lover was so close by and I was surrounded by possible hostiles, I might have stabbed him through his black heart. As it was, I had to walk away, my hands clenched until my fingernails cut into my palms.

As for the other pilots, I've heard that Marquise has made a relatively smooth transition into his new position as Vice Foreign Minister, with the assistance of Dorothy Catalonia and Lucrezia Noin, perhaps the only two women outside of Lady Une and Sally Po capable of being any use in politics. Hopefully, he runs into no trouble. That is the last thing the Earth Sphere needs at this point.

Barton… Trowa sent me an email yesterday telling me about his plans for continuing his education and the possibility of Winner doing the same. However, I get the feeling that between being the CEO of a large conglomerate like WEI and the many marriage discussions that he must attend due to his oldest sisters except the eldest will likely keep the Arab busy for a while yet. Besides, he's intelligent enough to… Oh, why didn't I think of that earlier? Winner could hire a tutor so that he could avoid having to conform to the whole school structure while he was so busy. It's not as if he has a lot of free time like Duo and me. And Yuy, wherever he may be.

I haven't, personally, heard from the too zaizi since his departure. Which is probably for the best, since the next time I see him, I will personally rearrange his face. Although, I believe that I might have to hold on to that wish, because Duo will more than likely kill me if he finds out that I still dislike him for the many things he's done to him since… Since I realized that I loved my American lover.

Ugh, to quote Duo, I cannot think of anything else to say, but I will make sure to update this sooner than the four months it seems to have taken me since the last time.

Until then,
~ Chang Wufei