Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Knights of the Round Table ❯ Old Pleasures Revisited ( Chapter 7 )

Just so you know: This is the last chapter I'm going to post on this site, even though more chapters are written.  It's too depressing trying to write comedy when you have no idea whether or not anyone thinks it's funny.  I can't believe after six chapters, no one has bothered to write a single review.  It's a hassle posting to more than one site anyway, so from now on, I'm sticking to the site where I get feedback.  Sorry.

Chapter 7: Old Pleasures Revisited

Trowa's troupe had constructed a tent to practice in, so they could prepare new routines in private and debut them in King Arthur's court to adoring crowds.  Trowa was currently trying to teach them a trapeze act.  But at the moment, he and Horace were the only ones in the tent.  The troupe had performed non-stop during the harvest festival, so Tobias had given everyone a few days off.  Trowa was working off a little irritation while Horace watched.

Trowa leaped from the pedestal to the trapeze and swung back and forth a few times to pick up speed and height.  Then, at the apex of his swing, he flipped into the air, did three reverse somersaults and landed on the tightrope.  (Which was a piece of rope so thick it might as well have been a four-lane highway, as far as Trowa was concerned.)  He balanced on the tightrope for a moment, did three cartwheels and then sat down.

Horace applauded.  "Well done, Master Trowa!  I swear none of us will ever be your equal."  He climbed up a rope and sat on the pedestal where the tightrope was anchored.  "Watching you excites me.  Have you ever done it on the trapeze?"

"I can't say that I have."

"Want to try?  I'll, ah, catch."

"Why not?"

It turned out that it could be done if one man stood on the bar while the other wrapped his legs around the suspension ropes, and both hung on for dear life.

"Ah, Master Trowa, you are truly an artist."  Horace sighed with pleasure.

"The trapeze has always been one of my favorite routines.  This does give it a new dimension, though, I must say."

"Perhaps we can work on this act again."

"I think it might be worthwhile."

When Trowa got back to their suite, he found Quatre pacing back in forth in the living room, looking unhappy.

"Trowa, where have you been?  I've been looking all over for you."

"I was just doing a little tumbling."

Quatre frowned.  "With that Horace person?"

"He might have been there."

"I don't like the way he's always trying to talk you into bed."

"At least he's speaking English."

Quatre huffed.  "I suppose that's a dig at Sir Lancelot!  He's a fine gentleman.  One can hardly equate his cultured companionship to a commoner like Horace."

"He's still just trying to get his dick up your ass.  Honestly, Quatre, I didn't think you were such a snob!"

Quatre's lower lip quivered and his eyes got huge.  "Do you hate me now, Trowa?"  His voice trembled.

Trowa turned his back on him.  "That isn't going to work."  He sat down on the couch and refused to look at Quatre.

Blue light shimmered and a moment later, the Quatre-cub jumped up onto the couch beside Trowa.  He put his big paws on Trowa's arm and licked his face with a rough tongue.

"Mrow?"

"Stop it."

The Quatre-cub snuggled his head under Trowa's chin.  "Mmmrrr."

"I said stop it," Trowa repeated, but the anger had gone out of his voice.

"Mmrowrrr," the Quatre-cub said and pressed his warm kitty nose against Trowa's lips.

Trowa laughed softly and put his arms around the Quatre-cub.  "Oh, all right, I forgive you.  But you have to stop mooning around after Lancelot.  Promise?"

The Quatre-cub put his paws on Trowa's shoulders and licked his face.  "Mrrmrr!"

Trowa grabbed him around the middle and tumbled the Quatre-cub to the floor.   They were still wrestling when the others came in.

"What did I say about kinky behavior in the living room?" Duo demanded.

"Oh, but they've made up!" Wu-Fei exclaimed.  "Isn't that sweet?"

"Adorable," Heero growled.  "Can we go to dinner now?  I'm starving.  I don't see why we always have to go down together."

Quatre shimmered back into his own shape and the five of them headed downstairs.

"You're not planning on gambling after dinner, are you?" Heero asked as they walked down the passageway.  "I've got stuff I need to do later."

"Well," Duo speculated, "there are some new knights who arrived at court this week."

"That's ok, Heero, we can get by," Wu-Fei said and with a flourish, he drew his brand new katana.  "I think this will dissuade anyone who refuses to lose with dignity."

"Would you look at that!" Quatre exclaimed. "I didn't think they could make those here."

"The blacksmith is a genius," Wu-Fei chuckled gleefully.  "Once I explained that I wanted the metal folded and how many times, he did a great job.  I made him a template to get the curvature right."  Wu-Fei skipped ahead of them, did a quick series of jabs, blocks and slashes and then slid the sword back into its scabbard.  "He had the scabbard custom made for me, too."  Wu-Fei grinned.  "My backside is now completely safe from horny knights."

"Seems silly to go to that much trouble," said Heero. "You could have just knifed them."

Wu-Fei sniffed. "My goal is for everyone to walk away unscathed and unfucked."

"That's quite admirable," said Trowa.

"Besides," added Quatre, "if anyone else starts killing off knights at the rate Heero is, King Arthur will soon have none left."

"Oh, shut up!"

Trowa's troupe performed their trapeze act for the crowd that night.  Trowa did all of the catching, since he trusted himself best to compensate for slight misalignments in the releases of his new acrobats.  Each stunt was preceded by hushed anticipation and followed by wild applause after each successful swing, jump and catch.

Duo got very mournful as the performers were showered with coins at the conclusion of their performance.

"We may as well cancel the dice game tonight," he grumbled.  "Damn that Trowa!"

"Well, at least you already have your silk undies," said Quatre. "How do those feel, by the way?"

Duo brightened. "Soft and smooth as a lover's kiss.  I'm never wearing any other kind."

"Hmm…" Quatre rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Oh, please!" exclaimed Heero.

"At least he's wearing some," Wu-Fei quipped.

"Like it bothers you that I don't!" Heero mumbled under his breath.

Wu-Fei grinned. "I never said it did."

"Speaking of that," said Duo, "since we probably aren't going gambling, why don't we go see if all three of us will fit in the bathtub?  I got some scented bath oil in the market today."

Heero frowned.  "I don't need a bath."

"Geez, you really are becoming a knight, aren't you?" Duo laughed. "But getting clean wasn't the primary reason for wanting to get you all wet and oily in the tub.  What do you say, Fei?"

Wu-Fei's eyes were half-closed and he was smiling dreamily.  "Wet, oily and naked.  Those have got to be my three favorite words.  Let's go."

Heero balked.  "You guys! I told you I have something to do after dinner."

"Can't it wait?" Duo asked plaintively.

Heero shook his head firmly. "No.  I'll join you later."  He started to leave, but at the sight of their comically pouting faces, he threw up his hands.  "Fine! I'll be as quick as I can.  And I'll bring more hot water!" he called back over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Oh, goody!" Duo grabbed Wu-Fei's hand and stood up.  "Come on!"

"Hey guys, before you go, did you see where Trowa went?" asked Quatre.

"No," said Wu-Fei.  "He must have gone with his troupe."

"Oh." Quatre looked disappointed.  "I guess I'll go study then.  There's a new spell I want to practice anyway.  I'll see you later."

"Later, Quatre."

"Ciao."

Merlin was not in his tower.  Quatre decided to read the spell book that had interested him while he waited.  He was feeling confident.  The spell didn't sound that hard.

Merlin entered to find a cloud of smoke slowly dissipating around Quatre.

"My dear boy!" he exclaimed.  "In heaven's name, what have you done?!"

"I'm not sure," Quatre answered faintly.  His voice sounded rather high-pitched to his own ears.

"Oh dear!" said Merlin.

Seeing the alarmed look on Merlin's face and feeling rather odd, Quatre looked down at himself.  Two rather large lumps thrust out from his chest.  His mouth fell open.  "What the hell?" he whispered.  A strand of long blond hair fell over his shoulder.  With sudden horror, he grabbed himself between the legs.  There was nothing there.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

All through the castle, people looked up in alarm at the horrified cry echoing through the halls.

"Now, calm down Quatre!" Merlin patted his shoulder.  "I'm sure we can fix this.  Eventually."

"What do you mean 'eventually'?!"

"It might take a day or two."

"A day or two?!  You said transformations only lasted as long as I willed it!"

"Well, this isn't really a transformation," Merlin said carefully.  "Sex change spells are a little different."  He tried to look encouraging.  "You might find it amusing.  I spent a few days as a woman once.  It was quite educational."

Quatre covered her face with her delicate hands.  "I can't let anyone see me like this!"

"Oh, but you make a very beautiful woman," Merlin assured her absently as he began flipping though the spell books on his table.  "Why don't you go back to your room while I look for that counter-spell I used when this happened to me?"

Quatre groaned.

She almost made it back to their suite before a knight stopped her.

"Hoy, my beauty! Your lovely face is familiar, but I don't recall when we might have met."  He backed Quatre up against the wall and leaned close.  "Perhaps you would like to refresh my memory."  He looked her up and down.  "That fetching outfit looks like a boy's garb."

"Get lost, brute!" Quatre retorted.  She tried to push the leering knight away.  Her effeminate little shove had almost no effect.

"Playing coy, are we?" the knight exclaimed. "Let's have a kiss anyway."  He caught Quatre by the chin and mashed his lips on hers.

"Imperiti ipse transformare tigris!" Quatre mumbled furiously around the knight's fat tongue.

The knight suddenly found himself holding a very angry, very full grown tiger by the chin whiskers.  He leapt backwards with a startled shout and the Quatre-tiger jumped on him with a ferocious roar.

In the main hall, Trowa was humbly receiving the adulation of the lords and ladies of the court for his amazing performance when three frightened servants dashed in.

"Master Trowa!  Master Trowa!" they cried. "We think it's young Master Quatre trying to eat someone in the passage upstairs!"

"Eat someone?!" Trowa cried. "And you think it's Quatre?" he added as he ran with them out of the hall.

The tiger in the passageway looked like it might be Quatre.  Trowa certainly hoped it was for the sake of the knight whose throat was, at the moment, clamped between its jaws.

"Quatre!  Put that knight down right now!"

The Quatre-tiger just growled.

"Quatre!" Trowa pointed sternly at the ground. "Drop him, I said!"

The Quatre-tiger opened its mouth and dropped the knight onto the floor.  But before the terrified man could crawl away, the tiger put one big paw squarely on his chest and mashed him into the floor.

Trowa shook a finger at the tiger.  "Let him up this instant!"

The Quatre-tiger leaned a little more weight onto its paw and the knight started to turn blue.

"Quatre!  I'm not telling you again!"

The Quatre-tiger huffed and stepped back.  The knight rolled onto his side and crawled weakly away.

"Bad kitty!" Trowa admonished.  "You come with me right now.  You're in a lot of trouble!"

"Grrr!" the Quatre-tiger said, but it followed Trowa down the passage to their suite, lashing its tail.

Once the door was closed behind them, Quatre changed back.

Trowa stared with his mouth open.  "Wh…" he tried, paused, swallowed, and tried again.  "What the hell happened to you?"

Quatre frowned daintily. "It's a minor spell-casting accident," she replied.  "Merlin says he can fix it."

Trowa stared.

"Quit staring!"

"I'm sorry, but you look really pretty."

"Don't say that!"

Trowa stepped closer.  "So are you, well, completely a woman?"

"Yes, dammit, and quit looking at me like that!"

"But you're really pretty."

"You already said that!"

"Why don't we go to my room for a little while?"

"Trowa!"

"Just for an hour or two.  Or maybe three."  He took Quatre's hand and led her to his room.  "It's not often one gets to deflower the same person twice."

In the morning, Quatre refused to leave the suite.

"I don't want anyone to see me like this," she grumbled.

Heero, Duo and Wu-Fei all stared at her speculatively.

"Yeah, you're probably right about that," agreed Duo.  "A pretty girl like you is just going to attract attention."  He grinned.

"Don't call me a pretty girl!" Quatre complained.

"But you are rather pretty," Wu-Fei pointed out.

"And nicely shaped," added Heero.

"Yeah," said Duo.  He moved closer to Quatre.  "That's a really good spell."

"Would you all please quit staring at me?!"

Duo put his arm around her waist.  "How would you like to try on my silk underwear?  I bet it would look good on you."

Wu-Fei put an arm around her shoulders.  "And afterwards, maybe you'd like to take a bath?"

Heero caught some of Quatre's long, blond strands of hair between his fingers.  "Your hair looks good long."

Quatre stared from one to the other.  "You wouldn't dare!" she exclaimed in growing alarm.

"Why not?" Duo said. "I bet Trowa already did."

Trowa just smiled.

"Besides, you said you weren't going out," added Wu-Fei.

"I don't have any plans for this morning," said Heero.

"Trowa!" Quatre pleaded.

"I'll see you later.  Have fun." Trowa left.

Quatre looked at the others with resignation.  "Promise you'll be gentle?"

"Of course," said Duo.  "Every single time."