Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest ❯ Stealing from the Rich ( Chapter 2 )

Ryua: Yes, I have seen Men in Tights. It's hysterical. I love the line-dancing scene. Definitely a must-see movie.

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Chapter 2: Stealing from the Rich

“Smell that fresh air!” Duo stretched luxuriously and then nudged Wu-Fei with his foot. “Wake up, sleepyhead! You're missing a great day.”

“Unh…” Wu-Fei grunted.

Duo nudged him again. “Come on, get up!”

Wu-Fei rolled over and covered his head with his arms. “If you wanted me up early, why did you keep me up so late?” he complained.

“You know having sex outside turns me on,” Duo replied cheerfully.

“You fucked me for four hours!”

“It's hardly the first time.” Duo grabbed Wu-Fei's arm. “Let's go. They're making breakfast.”

“What? More roast venison?” Wu-Fei sat up with a groan.

“Nope! Boiled eggs, bacon, pork sausage and bread. And I heard someone say they have apples.”

Wu-Fei perked up. “Apples?”

“Yeah! Let's eat.” Duo pulled Wu-Fei to his feet and they made their way back into camp.

“Good morning, Papa Duo. Good morning, Papa Wu-Fei.” Roku was gnawing happily on a large chunk of raw meat, which he held firmly clamped between his long sharp claws.

Duo squatted down and examined one of Roku's claws. “Man, these things are getting huge.”

“I can climb trees,” Roku mumbled as he chewed.

“Don't talk with your mouth full, sweetie,” Quatre said absently, coming up beside Duo. He patted Roku on the head. “Good morning.”

Roku swallowed carefully before answering. “Good morning, Mama.”

“Did you sleep well, dear?”

“Yeah, after I went exploring.”

Quatre lifted an eyebrow. “You were wandering around?”

“I didn't go far.”

“Let me know next time you're going to do that. You know I worry.”

“I'm sorry, Mama, but you and Papa Trowa were being naughty and I didn't want to bother you.”

Quatre flushed. “I see.”

Trowa came up and put his arm around Quatre. “You shouldn't worry so much. We're back in old England. You know nothing here can hurt Roku.”

Duo snagged four sausages, some bacon and three boiled eggs. “I don't think there's much to worry about with those claws.”

“I know,” Quatre said with a sigh. “But he's just so sweet; it's hard to remember he's a young tiger with more powers than Merlin.”

“Just try to keep that in mind.”

“Good morning, my friends!” Robin bounded up to them brimming with energy. “How was your first night in Sherwood?” He posed with his hands on his hips and his chest stuck out. He drew in a deep breath and let it out in a noisy exhale.

“It's a beautiful forest,” Trowa acknowledged.

“And damn full of sprites!” Heero grumbled. He appeared from out of the trees looking like he hadn't slept at all. He plopped down next to Roku and snagged a sausage from Duo. “The stupid things kept waking me up to ask questions or just giggle at me when I started swearing. You gotta help me out tonight, Trowa. I need a great spirit to put the little wretches in line.”

“No problem.”

Robin looked from one to the other with great curiosity. “Are all of you gentlemen sorcerers?” He seemed excited rather than dismayed by the prospect.

“No,” Trowa replied with a smile, “just Quatre and Roku. But we four have something of an affinity for the spiritual realm.” He nodded toward Treize and Zechs, who had just that moment appeared in the clearing. “Our two noblemen there are more like you: normal men.”

“Indeed? Well, that's good to know.” Robin leaned closer and lowered his voice. “You'll have to be patient with Friar Tuck, though. He's always in a panic over evil spirits and black magic.”

“So we learned last night.”

The aforementioned Friar Tuck chose that moment to appear with a round-cheeked young man in tow, whose mop of curly brown hair spilled out from under a sack-like cap and into his wide blue eyes. He had an innocent, almost vacuous expression on his young face as he trailed along after Tuck, led by one hand.

“Ho, Robin!” Tuck exclaimed. “I've found Much the Miller's son. He has news you may find interesting.” He pulled Much forward and planted him in front of Robin.

Much snatched his cap off his head and clutched it in front of him in both hands. He bobbed his head. “Good morning, Master Robin, sir.”

“Good day to you, Much,” Robin replied. “What news have you brought me?”

“Well, sir, I was at the Inn at Dunston Spring last night earning a bit of coin on my knees and there were four gentlemen of very fine quality there. They're traveling by carriage to Nottingham, but they broke a wheel yesterday. The wheelwright said he'd take extra time so you could catch them on the road to Nottingham today.”

Robin clapped Much on the shoulder. “Well done! Where is Little John? We've a carriage to waylay!”

This announcement brought a flurry of activity among the Merry Men. Food was hastily consumed and weapons and other gear collected.

Quatre found Little John. “What can we do to help? We're not archers, except for Trowa, but we can all fight.”

“I hope it won't come to a fight,” said Little John. “Usually we just intimidate them into giving us their purses. If it comes to a fight, we try to avoid killing because that would bring the king's men down on us. They are professional soldiers, but the Sheriff's men are little more than brigands. They seldom trouble us.”

“I see.” Quatre looked at his friends. “Maybe we'll just watch the first time, to see how you do it.”

Little John nodded. “That's fine. The spot we'll use for our ambush has a good vantage point.”

When the party was assembled and ready, they set out at a brisk trot through the trees. Roku ranged to either side of the group, returning periodically to report on the wealth of wildlife he was discovering.

Quatre watched him affectionately. “He seems much happier here.”

“It's more like the world he grew up in,” Trowa said.

“That's true. I wonder if he really would like to have a sibling. I think Duo volunteered.”

“I did not!”

“But I can accelerate the pregnancy with my spellbook, just like Merlin did for me.”

“No way!”

“Coward. You won't do it for Roku?”

“I love Roku dearly, but I ain't gettin' knocked up for anyone.”

“Maybe he'd settle for a cousin,” Heero remarked with a smirk. “Treize and Zechs haven't stopped fucking since they were re-united. Maybe Zechs would do it.”

“Hmm…” All five pilots looked over to where Treize and Zechs were walking along hand-in-hand.

Roku came trotting back. “Mama, there's a road up ahead.”

“That is our destination, little one,” Little John said. “We'll stop the carriage where the road narrows to pass through a ravine.”

“I saw that place.”

Little John nodded. “We're nearly there.”

Alan `a Dale abruptly slowed to a stop and started hyperventilating.

“Not again!” one of the Merry Men exclaimed. “Little John! Alan's lost his nerve again.”

Little John stopped with an exasperated sigh. “Alan, do we have to go through this every time?”

Alan leaned over and put his head between his knees. “You know I don't like shooting at men,” he wheezed. “What if I miss?”

“You never miss!”

“But there's always the first time!”

“You're the best shot among us,” Little John said patiently. “You have to do it.”

“How difficult is the shot?” Trowa asked.

“He needs to put an arrow between the driver and the footman and another inside the carriage without hitting the passengers.” Little John frowned at Alan. “He's never missed.”

“But he's a wreck for hours afterward,” Will Scarlett proclaimed gallantly. “It is all I can do to comfort him.”

One of the men snickered. “I wonder how Alan finds much comfort on his knees and elbows like that.”

“Aye,” agreed another. “Scarlett's comfort must leave poor Alan too raw to sit.”

“Pay them no mind,” Scarlett whispered loudly to Alan. “They do not understand the sensitive and gentle nature of an artist such as you. We will not be dismayed by their coarse humor.”

“Funny thing is,” Little John interrupted, “everyone thinks it's Robin who's doing it. It would be embarrassing for folks to find out it's our bard.”

Robin grinned sheepishly. “I'm afraid I'd be more likely to hit the horse. The pesky arrows just seem to take on a life of their own as soon as they leave my bow.”

“He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from ten paces,” Little John confided.

“Well,” said Trowa, “given Alan's gentle temperament, I'd be happy to take his place. I've spent many years in the circus. Trick shots like that are a piece of cake.”

Robin exchanged a happy grin with Little John. “This is a fine turn of events, I must say! Your offer of assistance is most gratefully accepted, Master Trowa. How now, Alan! Your archer's days are over and I daresay you have no complaints.”

Alan, who was leaning against Will Scarlett looking faint, favored everyone with a brilliant smile. “A blessing on your head, Master Trowa!” he declared. He held out his bow and quiver of arrows. “Take them with my thanks and keep them. I'll save my fingers for the strings of my lyre and touch a bowstring no more.”

“It is as well, Master Bard,” Zechs said. “Your skills are better spent in music.” His smile, though muted, nevertheless showed his dazzling features to full effect.

Alan's eyes went round and his mouth fell open. “Anon, sir,” he gasped. “This evening I will sing a new composition praising your beauty and grace which inflames the muse within me.”

“It's not his muse that's inflamed,” someone muttered.

There were snickers all around and Will Scarlett frowned in annoyance.

“Back to business, men!” Little John called out. “There's good hard coin heading our way and I've a mind to find it new masters.” He led the way a little farther through the woods until they came to a packed dirt road. Its width and relatively good repair indicated it was a major highway. Little John pointed out a tree with a wide trunk just off the road above where it dipped down into a narrow ravine. “Stand there, Master Trowa. You'll have a clear shot just as the carriage reaches the bottom of the narrows. We'll block the road and your arrow will induce the driver to stop rather than run us over.”

Trowa nodded and knocked an arrow as he stepped behind the tree.

Robin stopped beside him. “I'll step out as soon as you shoot and take the credit for it. I pray the deception will cause you no dishonor.”

“None at all.”

Robin squeezed his shoulder. “Good man. I do mean to acquire some skill with the bow, but alas, these daily trials and my nightly visits to my dear Maid Marian leave me little time to practice.”

Little John showed the others where they could watch from the top of the ravine. “But stay low, mind you, lest you be seen and alert them to our ambush.”

Everyone stretched out on their bellies and watched the road.

“I can't see Trowa from here,” Treize noted. “Can he really make those shots Little John described?”

“Easily,” Quatre replied.

“I suppose, given my former rank and position, I should sympathize with our prey. But quite frankly, this sounds like a lot more fun.”

“Maybe we should go into Nottingham later,” Zechs suggested. “It might be amusing to see what they say about the robbery.”

Treize chuckled. “That's a good idea.”

Roku's ears flicked up. “I hear something.”

Everyone strained their eyes toward the road. A moment later, a coach with six horses came into view. The horses were moving at a brisk trot, but the driver slowed as he approached the narrow ravine. The road turned as it went through the ravine, so the driver and footman were taken completely by surprise when they found the far end blocked by the Merry Men, with Little John standing right in the center. He flung up his hand.

“Hold or your lives are forfeit!”

And right on cue, Trowa launched his first arrow. It thudded into the padded driver's seat and vibrated between the two men, almost smacking their thighs on either side. The suddenly panicked driver reined the horses to a jarring halt.

“How now, man!” came a startled cry from inside the carriage.

Trowa's second shot flew through the open window of the carriage and planted itself in the floor between four sets of slipper-shod feet.

Cries of fear and dismay rang from inside the carriage. Robin immediately stepped out from behind the tree clutching his longbow. “You in the carriage! Step out at once lest you be dragged out!”

Four plump, middle-aged men in fine silk clothes tumbled from the carriage, their flushed faces showing anger and fear.

“What is the meaning of this?!” cried one. He puffed himself up importantly.

“I am Robin Hood!” Robin announced proudly. “You wealthy gentlemen look like the generous sort to me. Why don't you give your tithes to me instead of the church and I will see that your offering reaches the pockets of the poor and destitute.”

“How dare you?!” the puffed up lord screamed. “I am Baron Nestor! You have no right to stop me in the road! Ruffians! Get out of the way and let me pass!”

“We'll do just that, milord, as soon as you empty your pockets and hand over your purses,” Little John said affably.

The four gentlemen protested, but in no time at all they were divested of purses, rings and necklaces, and were only a little bit roughed up. Then they were unceremoniously shoved back into their carriage and sent on their way to a round chorus of guffaws. The driver whipped the horses to a gallop and the carriage was quickly pulled out of sight.

“Let's away!” Robin cried. “We'll check our haul when we've put plenty of greenwood between us and the road.”

In a clearing well away from the highway, Robin and his band stopped to count out the coin and examine the jewelry.

“A good haul,” Robin declared. “There's silver aplenty and even a little gold here. We'll have our friend Master Jeweler Goldberg take the gems from the rings and necklaces and sell them loose for us.”

“This man is trustworthy?” Treize asked.

“As trustworthy as any merchant, which means completely, as long as we pay him.” Robin's eyes sparkled. “We let him keep the gold and silver mountings as his profit for aiding us. It's a good arrangement for all.” He rubbed his hands together. “We'll keep the gold coins for ourselves, for a peasant with such wealth will land in prison for a thief no matter how he came by the coin. The silver we will divide up and hand out among those in need. Little John, I'll leave you to that task while I take the jewelry to Master Goldberg.”

“May Zechs and I accompany you, Robin?” Treize asked. “We would like to see Nottingham.”

“I think we would all like to go,” Quatre put in.

“Certainly, my friends,” Robin said, “although I think your young son should stay in Sherwood. He might cause panic.”

“Oh, don't worry about that,” Quatre said lightly. “He'll change shape. No one will notice him.”

Robin's eyes widened. “Astonishing! Well then, there's nothing else but to be on our way. We should meet back at camp by nightfall.”

The group broke up, with Little John and most of the Merry Men heading off for the nearest peasant village; Friar Tuck, Alan and a few others returning to camp; and Robin and the Gundam pilots heading for town.

“How is it that you can walk boldly into Nottingham after having just declared your name during an act of highway robbery?” Zechs inquired.

“I am a gentleman,” Robin said airily. “The Sheriff would not dare to arrest me without witnessing me in the act himself.”

“Even the word of another gentleman is not proof enough?”

Robin laughed. “If that was all it took, half the nobility in England would languish behind bars. Every slight and unpaid gambling debt would evoke a charge of brigandry.”

“Aren't you afraid he'll lay a trap for you?”

“That would be dishonorable. The Sheriff might be a lout, but he's still a gentleman.” Robin winked at them. “But in fact, I won't just walk boldly in with my face on display. I'll put my hood up. I don't want to draw attention to Master Goldberg.”

“That's sensible.”

Roku changed into a little boy when they came to the edge of Sherwood, much to Robin's amazement. He pestered them with questions about the process as they continued down the highway toward Nottingham. Needless to say, he did not get any straight answers in reply.

Cultivated fields and pastures lay on either side of the road between the towering trees of Sherwood and the walls of Nottingham. Men and women labored in the fields and nearly all of the women stopped to look and say good day as they went by. Treize, being Treize, was charming to even the lowest and most poorly dressed creature they passed.

“Milord Treize,” Robin said from beneath his hood, “you will have every woman from the highest to the lowest in love with you before day's end if you speak to them all like that. Surely such charming words were better saved for the ladies of quality.”

Treize smiled. “Master Robin, no woman should ever be seen as beneath a kind word,” he replied urbanely. “A gentleman's honor is reflected as much in his words as in his deeds.” He turned his smile on Zechs. “Besides, I have no intention of seeking any woman's favor. My heart is already given.”

Zechs smiled back. Seeing his smile, several young women gaped and fanned themselves.

They arrived in Nottingham in the early afternoon. The bored sheriff's men leaning against the walls on either side of the gate didn't even give them a second glance as they strolled through.

“Security seems a little lax,” Heero growled. “You'd think someone would at least look twice at a group of armed men entering town.”

“These are peaceful times,” Robin said with a shrug, “and the Mayor of Nottingham is a merchant by trade. He would much rather see a free flow of potential customers coming into the town.”

Heero snorted.

The town bustled with activity. Dozens of shops stood with doors open to the street, their wares frequently on display on tables out front. Street vendors hawked their goods on every corner. Food vendors offered roasted meat on sticks to passersby. And people crowded the streets on every side, going about their business. The atmosphere was festive.

Duo looked around with sparkling eyes. “Is it like this every day?”

“Pretty much.”

“If you'll excuse me, I'm going to look around.” Duo drifted away.

“Mama, may I go with Papa Duo?”

“Ok, but don't get lost.”

“I won't.”

“And keep him out of trouble!” Quatre called after him as Roku darted away after Duo.

“I will!”

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Quatre said.

“At least I won't have to watch him eat,” Wu-Fei muttered.

Heero stopped suddenly. “Look, a weapon shop.” He went over to check out the table of knives and short swords on display out front.

“That's interesting,” Treize said. He joined Heero.

Zechs sighed. “Our men have been seduced by their other love, it seems,” he remarked to Wu-Fei.

Wu-Fei nodded. “We may as well join them.” But his eyes were fixed rather covetously on a sharp, thin-bladed little dagger. He and Zechs joined the other two.

Trowa chuckled. “Lead the way to Master Goldberg, Robin. Quatre and I, at least, will stay with you for the time being.”

Robin grinned. “I'm sure we'll find them all before we leave town at sunset. This way!” And he marched off cheerfully into the crowd with the other two trailing in his wake.