Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest ❯ What the Heck Just Happened? ( Chapter 14 )

Chapter 14: What the Hell Just Happened?

Sheriff Mark had to be restrained from attacking the cowering guard who had the misfortune to report the dungeon break-in.

“Why were there no guards outside his cell?!” the Sheriff screamed.

“We've never placed guards in the cell block before, my lord Sheriff,” the guard captain answered patiently from behind him. It was his stout hands which had saved his hapless subordinate from a thrashing by the Sheriff. “With only one entrance to the dungeons from the courtyard, where guards are always present, it never seemed necessary.”

The Sheriff swore angrily.

“Now Sheriff,” Mayor DeBoers said in a placating tone, “one must consider that a dragon attack is such an unusual occurrence, the guards can hardly be faulted for reacting with confusion.”

“A dragon attack?! More likely it was the effect of too much drink! The whole thing was a ploy to allow the escape of that man from the dungeon and it succeeded!”

“My lord Sheriff,” Treize spoke up, “rather than stand here arguing, shouldn't you be going after him?”

The Sheriff rounded on Treize with a growl. “Are you volunteering to assist?”

“Certainly not. In fact, I was thinking of going to bed. It's been a rather long and exciting day.”

“I hope you're not too tired to do a little sparring before bed,” Zechs said with a seductive smile. “All the excitement has left me with a little nervous energy to work off.”

Treize smiled back. “I think I can accommodate that.”

The Sheriff clenched his fists. “Find Gisbourne and round up my deputies,” he ordered the guard captain. “I want a search party ready to leave within the hour.”

“Yes, my lord Sheriff.”

“Sheriff Mark!” Maid Marian's voice was a little shrill. She stalked across the open courtyard from the direction of the castle entrance. “I have sequestered myself in protest of your harsh treatment of the innocent and gentlemanly Robin of Locksley, but now am I to understand that you mean to pursue and harass another innocent man whom you had jailed in his stead?”

A pained expression crossed Sheriff Mark's face. “My dear Maid Marian,” he said carefully, “Robin Hood is hardly an innocent man. No doubt he was behind this evening's jail break. These lawbreakers, thieves and highwaymen must be brought to justice if we are to maintain any kind of order in the kingdom.”

Marian sniffed disdainfully. “I do not know how I can continue to remain your friend when you speak so dishonorably of a gentleman dear to my heart. I believe I shall return to my foster parent's home.” She marched toward the castle gate.

“Maid Marian!” the Sheriff called out. “I would prefer it if you remained in the castle. The city may not be safe.”

“Hmph!” Marian didn't stop.

The Sheriff growled something un-gentlemanly under his breath and stormed after her. “My lady!” he said sternly, “please remain here.” He grasped her by the arm and beckoned to the guard captain. “Please have two of your men escort Maid Marian back inside.”

“How dare you!” Marian exclaimed. She struggled as the guard captain took her by the arm and turned her over to two of his men. “Lord Treize, please! Can you not intervene?”

“My dear Maid Marian, I must agree with the Sheriff. The city is no safe place for an unescorted maiden tonight. Why don't you come inside and Count Zechs and I will keep you company until you are ready to retire for the evening?”

Sheriff Mark suddenly looked as if he wanted to change his mind.

Marian favored Treize with a happy smile. “How kind of you, my lord!” she exclaimed. “But surely you understand how concerned I am for good Sir Robin?”

“Of course I understand, my dear. Why don't we go in and talk about it?” He offered her his arm and gave the two guards holding her a stern look. They released her immediately. With a smile, Treize took her arm. “Count Zechs?”

Zechs took Marian's other arm. “It's getting chilly out here, don't you think?”

The two of them escorted her inside while Sheriff Mark gnashed his teeth in fury. He glowered at the guard captain. “Get moving. I want my deputies and Gisbourne here right now!”

“Yes, sir!” The captain began issuing orders and men raced away to carry them out.

“Remember to stay within the letter of the law,” Mayor DeBoers said worriedly. “We cannot afford to have Maid Marian writing angry letters to her guardian, King Richard.”

“Do not tell me my business, Mayor,” the Sheriff growled, “but don't expect me to come back without Robin Hood's head.” He stormed away, leaving the mayor to wring his hands and mutter unhappily.

Deep in Sherwood Forest, Quatre tried to regard Trowa with a stern expression, but his lips kept twitching into a smile.

“So are you going to untie me?”

“I'm thinking about it.” Trowa cradled Quatre in his lap. “Duo said you were really worried about me. He mentioned something about blowing a hole in the castle.”

“Just a small one. I wanted to get you out.”

“You should trust Duo more. He's reliable when he needs to be.”

“Hah!”

“You look kind of cute all tied up like this.”

“It's uncomfortable.” Quatre pouted. “I can't even hug you.”

“But I can hug you.” Trowa demonstrated.

“But it's not as nice if I can't hug back!”

Trowa nuzzled his neck. “I keep thinking about that time at Camelot when those knights tried to have their way with you and you turned them into various animals and furniture.”

“They deserved it.”

“You didn't have any trousers on.”

“The bastards tried to rape me!”

“Your little bottom looked really cute peeking out from under your shirt like that.”

“Would you quit talking about that and untie me!”

“Hmm…”

“What are you doing?” Quatre demanded. “Get your hand out of there! Stop that! Ah!”

“How thoughtful; Duo tied the rope high enough. I can get your pants off.”

“Don't you dare! Cut it out! Trowa!”

“I was kind of lonely in the dungeon with only mice for company. I missed you.”

“Come on, Trowa! Untie me! I want to welcome you back properly.”

“I was planning to let you welcome me back. That's not too cold is it?”

“Would it matter if I said yes?” Quatre complained.

Trowa slid his hands along Quatre's bare legs. “I'll warm you up. Here, put your legs around my waist so they're not on the ground.”

“You're being transparent.”

“Am I?” Trowa murmured. He inched forward. “Ummm… That feels good.”

“Oh!” Quatre groaned. “You're taking advantage of my helplessness.”

“Would I do that?” Trowa moaned.

“Yes!” Quatre closed his eyes. “You're a brute!”

“But you'll forgive me?”

“Maybe if you untie me.”

“I'll definitely untie you,” Trowa panted. “But in a little while; I'm kind of busy right now.”

“Ah!” Quatre gasped. “I won't forget this!”

“But you're glad I'm back safe?”

“Yes!” Quatre finally grinned at him. “I'm really glad nothing bad happened to you, Trowa.”

“I'm sorry I worried you.”

“So untie me now. I want to hug you.”

“Don't rush me. I'm enjoying myself.”

“Trowa!”

At Robin Hood's camp in another part of Sherwood, Roku lolled on his back with his paws in the air so Heero could rub his belly.

“When do you suppose Mama and Papa Trowa will come back?”

“In the morning, probably.”

“Do you think Mama's still angry?”

“Probably not. He'll calm down now that Trowa's back.”

“It was fun rescuing Papa Trowa. It's fun being a dragon.”

“Did you kill anyone?”

“No, I didn't need to.” He rolled onto his side and licked Heero's hand. “They were really afraid of me.”

Heero patted him on the head. “I have to admit, sometimes it's more fun to make them run and scream like little girls than to kill them.”

Roku giggled.

Will Scarlett jogged into the clearing. “What ho, fellows! The Sheriff is putting together a search party to come after Master Trowa and Robin Hood.”

“He is?” said Little John. “Well, he's tried searching for us in Sherwood before without success.”

“True,” agreed Will, “but he's notably upset this time.”

“Hmm…” Little John rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “We should post sentries. We can move if it looks like they're getting too close to us. I doubt we have anything to worry about before morning. He doesn't have anyone who can track us at night.”

“Good!” Will said. “I could use a meal and some sleep.”

“I saved some venison for you,” Alan said. He grinned at Roku. “Our young tiger friend was ready to finish it off.”

Roku wagged his tongue. “I was hungry!”

Will patted Roku on the head. “I understand little one.”

Roku hopped to his feet. “I'll go watch for the Sheriff.”

Heero caught his tail and tugged gently. “Don't let them see you.”

“I won't.” Roku trotted off into the trees.

“He's a good lad,” Little John remarked.

“Yup,” Heero agreed. “He's growing up fast, too.” He stood up. “If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look for my friends and let them know about the Sheriff.” He marched unerringly through the trees to where Duo and Wu-Fei were curled up on the ground together some distance from camp.

“Hey, Heero,” Duo said drowsily. “Finally decided to join us?”

Heero plopped down next to them. “Yeah. You guys tired already?”

“I'm sleeping,” Wu-Fei muttered without opening his eyes.

Duo perked up. “I'm awake!” He sat up. “We don't need Fei if he's too sleepy.”

“I'm not sleepy, I'm asleep!” Wu-Fei corrected grumpily. “Why don't you go somewhere else if you're going to make a bunch of noise?”

“Baby!” Duo chuckled.

“Don't sleep too soundly,” Heero said. “The Sheriff's coming out with a posse to track us down and we may have to move in the morning.”

“Why don't you send the sprites to lead them on the wrong track?” Wu-Fei grumbled. “And stop talking to me, I'm asleep!”

“Hey, that's a good idea!” Duo said. “I bet the sprites are getting restless anyway; you haven't asked them to do anything for awhile.”

Heero frowned. “I guess I could try that. Let's go over there, though, so we don't bug Sleeping Beauty here.”

Heero and Duo moved further off into the forest. They sat down side by side and Heero fiddled with his arm band.

Duo watched him curiously. “Whoa, that's pretty good! You look just like the Sheriff!”

A moment later, several sets of bright green eyes regarded them from every side.

“What are you doing, Man with Many Faces?” a little voice chirped.

“Waiting for you,” Heero replied. “How good are you at recognizing individual humans?”

A sprite stepped forward in front of Heero. “Not very good, Man with Many Faces.”

“But you can tell I'm not wearing my normal face.”

“Yes.”

“If you saw the man whose face I'm wearing now, do you think you could recognize him?”

The sprite studied Heero's face with a serious expression. Several other sprites stepped forward to stare at him as well.

“Would we have to look at a lot of humans?”

“No. In fact, I can tell you where to look for him. There won't be that many other people around.”

The sprites all grinned. “We can do that.”

“Good. He'll show up somewhere in the forest, between here and the edge where the town with high walls is. There will be several men with him and they'll probably be riding horses. They'll be looking for me and I don't want them to find me or any of my companions. My companions are all the people nearby right now.” Heero grinned suddenly. “You can play tricks on them.”

The sprites giggled.

“What about Gisbourne?” Duo whispered suddenly.

“Oh, yeah.” Heero twisted the armband and appeared as himself for a second. Then he twisted it again and he suddenly took on the dark, hairy appearance of Sir Guy of Gisbourne. “Look for this man, too. If you see him, feel free to harass him until he cries like a little baby.”

The sprites giggled louder. “We will do as you ask, Man with Many Faces!” They all disappeared.

Heero returned to his normal appearance. “It sure is easy to get their help when you're asking them to give people a hard time.”

“That is their favorite pastime. But speaking of favorite pastimes…” Duo pushed Heero onto his back and straddled him. “Now that the Sheriff's posse is taken care of, how about taking care of me?”

Heero grunted. “I do want to get a little sleep before dawn. You remember I was jousting earlier today?”

“Yeah, you were hot! It turned me on.”

“Everything turns you on.”

Duo giggled. “It does seem like that, doesn't it? But ok, just one or two quickies and then we'll get some sleep.”

In the morning, Trowa and Quatre returned to camp all smiles.

“Are you feeling better now, Master Quatre?” Little John asked a little nervously.

“I'm fine, thank you. I'm sorry I lost my cool.”

Robin Hood clasped Trowa's hand. “And how did you fare in Nottingham's dungeon, Master Trowa? You suffered no harm, I hope?”

“It was nothing, Robin. But I'm glad to be back. However, isn't the Sheriff likely to send a search party after me?”

“In fact he did,” Little John admitted. “We have sentries out watching for them, including young Roku. We haven't heard anything yet.”

“Roku is out looking for the Sheriff's men?” Quatre asked with a slight frown.

“Heero told him to keep out of sight,” Little John said quickly.

“He'll be fine, Quatre,” Heero himself said at that moment. He entered the clearing with Duo and Wu-Fei beside him. “I sent the sprites to entertain the Sheriff and Gisbourne and make sure they didn't find us.”

“You did?” said Trowa. “That should be amusing.”

Roku bounded into the clearing, laughing gleefully. “The Sheriff's men are lost! The sprites have them scattered all over the place! They spooked the horses and made all the men fall off, so I chased the horses back to Nottingham so the men would have to walk and did you know Sir Guy is afraid of cats? Because after the sprites made him fall off his horse and drop his sword, I chased him up a tree and he sat on a branch screaming for help and crying and I think he wet himself. And then I followed other men around where they couldn't see me and growled at them so they would scream and run and the sprites thought that was funny so they started doing it to. And the Sheriff fell in a stream so his boots made squishing noises when he walked and he lost his sword too and he kept swearing at everybody and telling them to act like grown men but nobody was listening because they were too busy running away. It was fun!”

By the time Roku finished, everyone was laughing so hard they had to sit down.

“Oh man!” Duo exclaimed. “I wish I could have seen that! Especially the part about Gisbourne crying in a tree!”

“Well, that settles that problem for the moment,” Little John said as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, “but now that it's light, I'm sure they'll all find their way back to town.”

“But it will take them awhile,” said Quatre. “I think we should get into town first. We can collect the last of our bets and return the tithe money before the Sheriff gets back. He'll have no grounds to arrest Robin then.” He looked around. “Alan and I can take it. I haven't been seen at court yet and no one would believe Alan capable of any wrongdoing. Where's the money chest?”

“I have it,” Roku said. He shifted to human form and produced the chest from behind his left leg. “It's kind of heavy. I've been putting all of the money in it so it's all in one place.”

“Very clever of you, sweetie. How much is in there?”

“One hundred seventy-three gold coins, three hundred fifty-six silver coins and four hundred seventeen copper coins.”

Everyone stared. “That's more than was in the chest originally,” Little John breathed.

“Well, it would be better if we ran a little over,” Quatre said, “but we don't need to be that generous. Roku take out about third of the gold and a quarter of the silver.”

Roku did so, transferring the coins to a handful of pouches that he produced from his storage space. He tucked the filled pouches away and slid the chest back behind his leg when he was finished.

Quatre nodded. “Good. Roku will come with me and Alan since he can carry the chest. We'll meet up with Treize and Zechs at the castle. We should be back before nightfall.”

Trowa smiled. “Be careful. I don't want to have to come rescue you.”

Quatre smiled back. “I'll be fine.”

“Just make sure you don't blow anything up,” Heero remarked.

“Shut up.”

“You be careful too, Alan,” Will Scarlett said. “Watch out for that lout, Gisbourne.”

“I will.”

Quatre, Roku and Alan set off toward Nottingham.

“To whom shall we return the tithe money, Master Quatre?” Alan asked. “I believe the Lord Abbott has already returned to his abbey.”

“We'll give it directly to the mayor and let him sort it out.”

“But how shall we explain we came by the chest?” Alan said worriedly. “I do not relish the idea of being thrown in prison as a thief.”

“Do we look like thieves?” Quatre made large puppy eyes at Alan. “We'll tell the mayor that Robin asked us to serve as intermediaries and explain that he recovered the chest from the real thieves and seeks only to clear his good name.”

“Ah! That might work.”

“Of course it will. Just remember to look honest and innocent at all times. Be aghast if anyone suggests we had anything to do with the theft.” Quatre chuckled. “I think the mayor will be more inclined to put the whole matter to rest. After all, he's trying to run a prosperous, merchant-friendly town. He wants to get rid of Robin Hood, but turning him honest and marrying him off is probably just as good a solution, from his point of view, as hanging him.”

Alan blinked in surprise. “I never thought of it that way.”

They arrived at Nottingham to find several nervous guards in front of the gate, but most of them were scanning the skies rather than watching the road. They waved Quatre and his companions through after only a cursory glance.

Roku chuckled. “I don't think they recognize me.”

The town was abuzz with excitement. Everyone was exchanging wild and mostly exaggerated stories about the previous night's attacks. If the rumors were to be believed, half the people in the castle had been consumed by dragons.

“I didn't eat anyone!” Roku muttered.

“Hush!” Quatre whispered back.

Outside the castle, more guards stood before the gate and on top of the wall. There were signs that they had attempted to lower the portcullis and raise the drawbridge, but without success. The pounding of hammers and the screech of metal, accompanied by angry shouts and cries of effort, made it clear the attempt was still ongoing.

“Halt!” A guard demanded as the group drew near.

Quatre stopped and executed a brief bow. “We would like to see the Lord Mayor. We have news of interest for him.”

“Who are you?” the guard asked suspiciously. He glared at Quatre and the others, but his scowl did not quite cover his nervousness.

“I am just a performer, sir. I do simple tricks to amuse the common people. My companion is a bard of no mean skill and this young lad is my apprentice.”

“I doubt his lordship's in any mood for entertainment right now.”

“But are not times of trouble the best time for amusing diversions?”

The guard blinked uncertainly.

“Anon, sir,” said Alan. “If the Lord Mayor has no time for us, we will be on our way and no harm done.”

“I suppose…” The guard beckoned to one of his companions. “Escort them to the Lord Mayor.”

“Yes, sir!”

Inside the castle, nobles milled in the hallways discussing whether or not it was safe to flee Nottingham to somewhere not infested by dragons. Roku ducked his head to hide his smile. The guard led them into the main hall, where the Lord Mayor was trying to reassure a delegation of merchants. Treize and Zechs were among those watching. Quatre made eye contact with Treize and he nodded slightly.

“Lord Mayor,” the guard interrupted. “These entertainers have come to see you.”

“Entertainers!” Mayor DeBoers cried. “What need have I for entertainers?”

Quatre bowed. “None at all, I daresay, my lord. But that's not why we're here. We've brought you something.” He gestured to Roku and Roku slid the chest of tithes out from behind his leg.

“What is this?”

“It is the tithe money stolen from the Lord Abbott,” Quatre replied. “Robin Hood got it back from the thieves who stole it and asked us to return it in his behalf. Sir Robin wanted us to assure you that he is a dutiful son of the church and an obedient servant of the crown.”

Mayor DeBoers stared. “The tithe money?”

“Yes.”

“So Robin Hood didn't steal it?”

“Sir Robin would never do anything to harm the poor and destitute.”

The mayor didn't seem to notice that the answer had nothing to do with his question.

“Well, this is a strange turn of events.” Mayor DeBoers stepped over to open the chest. He stared at the coins for a second and then quickly closed it. “Guards! Take this chest to my vault at once and lock it up!” He turned to Quatre. “Please tell Sir Robin that his selfless act will not go unnoticed. I invite him to come himself to Nottingham Castle to receive my thanks personally.”

“I'll tell him that if I see him again.”

Zechs leaned close to Treize and murmured. “Notice how all of a sudden he's `Sir Robin' and not `Robin Hood'?”

Treize nodded. “I did notice that.”

Quatre bowed again. “If you'll excuse us now, my lord, we have other business to attend to.”

“Of course! Of course! Good day to you.” The mayor seemed anxious to get rid of them.

The same guard led them back out of the castle and when they were outside, Alan heaved a sigh of relief.

“That was easier than I expected,” Alan said. “But why do you suppose he got rid of us so fast?”

“I suspect the good mayor knows exactly how much money is supposed to be in that chest and could tell there was extra. I expect he's in his vault right now removing the excess.”

“That's despicable!”

Quatre shrugged. “He's a politician. Let's wait outside the city for Treize and Zechs.”

“Are they going to join us?” Alan was surprised. “They didn't say anything.”

“They didn't need to. Treize indicated that they're finished, so they should be along shortly.” Quatre put an arm around Roku's shoulders. “Are you enjoying your vacation, Roku?”

“Um hmm! Can we go somewhere in the past every summer?”

“I don't see why not. At the very least, it's educational.”