Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing Evil:Duo Shock Version ❯ Chapter 2: The House of the Stupid ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter 2: The House of the Stupid

(NO ONE IN THIS FANFIC IS OWNED BY ME!!!)

Trowa and Duo raced out to the main hall only to see that Zechs was gone…

"Oh no!!!" Duo exclaimed whining AGAIN. "Now it's Zechs' turn to disappear!"

"What---What IS this?!" Trowa blurted out for NO apparent reason.

Duo turned to Trowa, "What is what?!"

"Oh, don't mind me…. Gaaah!!!" he yelled in annoyance. "I hate this place!!!" He shook himself together and came up with an idea. "Duo, I'll check around here, you go look around the staircase."

Duo arched his brow in stupefaction, "But… why, dude?"

Trowa seemed puzzled as well, "Just check around the staircase back there. I'll look around here."

"What are you on?!" Duo yelled in bafflement. "You know he's NOT in this room! Why would he hide behind the staircase?! What's WRONG with YOU!?"

"Check BEHIND the staircase!!" The Unibanged One demanded as he pointed the Magnum in Duo's face. "I am NOT stupid!!!! I am THOROUGH!"

Seconds later….

Duo jogged up to Trowa and huffed, "THERE!!! Are you HAPPY? I AM!"

"You sarcasm will only get you killed around me, Mr. Maxwell." Trowa warned The Braided One with a frown. "Did you find anything?"

"?!?!?"

"…I see…" Trowa rubbed his hairless chin and spoke. "We should split up and look for Zechs and Heero, Okay?"

Duo shook his head, "No way!!!"

"It would be dangerous for us to stick together. We should split up!"

"Is it just me or does walking around a mansion infested with ZOMBIES and their DOGS a BAD-FUCKING-IDEA?"

"You're right." Trowa admitted. He reached in his pocket and gave Duo a warped out paper clip and wire. "Here, Duo take this with you. I am sure you the Master of Unlocking can use it…" He then concluded by saying, "Besides that thing was stabbing me in the ass the entire trip over here."

Duo just stared at him, "Uhm… Correction: I'm the Shinagami---God of Death. I am not the Master of Unlocking- and Holding Things That Stab You in the Ass.." He concluded by asking, "Dude, WHAT the HELL ARE YOU ON?!"

Trowa stared at Duo, "…" Gawd, this HOUSE! This BLOODY house is making ME STUUUUUUUUPID!!!!

Duo fixed his beret and stomping around, "That's it! Trowa Barton! You get it YOUR way!!! Your I.Q. level has dropped from Genius to Clay-Doh within seconds of being here!!!"

Trowa admitted, "I know THAT!!! I have this urge to wear a beard, wear stupid, red fishing gear vest with camouflage pants, and say things that are SO obvious and not needed. It's this house! It's sucking the brain functions right out of me!!!! You know---Gah!!! I don't say shit like this!!!!"

Duo cautiously walked over to Trowa and patted him on the back, "Relax, buddy. As soon as we find the others, we can call Wufei and leave. Okay Trowa?"

"Just call me Barry, you know?!"

Duo let out a scream. Trowa started crying.

Heero realized he was lost within the Parasol Mansion. He doesn't know how it happen, either. He just went shellshock all the way upstairs and blasted through a door and went on a shooting spree. The rest tends to go blank after that.

He stalks downs stairs to find a door across the hall. Heero also heard a gang of zombies headed his way. He also realized he was running low on ammo.

The first zombie came staggering around the corner groaning at him in a hungered rage. Heero sniped him. Zombie head goes POP!

The second and third zombies were waiting for the Perfect Soldier around the corner past the door. With a strong swing of the empty sniper rifle, Heero managed to knock BOTH their heads off.

Three zombies were clambering upon the floor, ready to gnaw on his LUGZ steel-toed boots. SMASH!!! SPLAT!!! GWASH!!! Their heads made a most nasty sound when he calmly yet brutally stomped, kicked, and crushed their heads under his heavy boots.

Now five zombies came scurrying towards Heero. He took out his Eagle, which happen to have 5 bullets left, and opened fire. He blasted each one through the right eye. Kicking them to the side, he roundhouse kicked another zombie lunging towards him, from the shadows around another corner.

As for the other 10 zombies approaching from another hallway… well after running out of ammo with his two favorite guns he had no other choice but to PISTOL WHIP them mercilessly….

30 minutes later…

Heero was standing in a pool of smelly, congealed blood, NONE of it his. If any thing came from the former Wing pilot, it was sweat. He was exhausted after bludgeoning ghouls to another level of death…

He remembered the mysterious door he spotted earlier on his trek. He headed there…

Quatre Raberba Winner, Preventers Medic, was fast asleep in his own little fortress under the stairs. He had the door bolted and blocked off by a large storage bin. To add more weight, he even placed a corner table upon it. Quatre did think the typewriter built upon the table was a bit odd, but since it added more weight he didn't care.

If ANYthing could move the heavily supported door, it would have to be inhuman… or Superman. No one could get to him. He was safe---

Emphasis on WAS The door!!!! The stupid door and ALL the stuff on top of it were moving. The storage bin was slowly sliding to the side, while the typewriter table was rocking back and forth and began to fall…

"OWCH!!!!" The Blonde Medic squealed in the darkness. He freaked out when he realized what was going on. "Oh MY gawd!!!! Something's trying to get me!!!"

"….hn…." Heero groaned. The door was heavy, as if being blocked. He pushed with ALL his might…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!" Quatre screamed. He was NOT going to die in a tiny room without a fight. As soon as the door swung open, Quatre took out his knife and went for the kill….

Hearing a girl's screamed Heero reacted. Some girl must be trapped. I gotta save her. Must complete the mission to rescue hostages! "HN!!!" he groaned, knocking the door and all the stuff behind it out of the way. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. "WHAT?!?"

Infuriated, Heero went for the neck and slammed the assailant into a wall across the tiny room.

"OOPH!!!" Quatre sounded as he made a dent in the wall, dropping the knife. "Heee-eeeelp!!!!"

"Help?!" Heero questioned. He dropped the body and searched for the light switch. When he noticed a small boy lying on the floor coughing and gagging, Heero felt a bit guilty. "Uhm… sorry, kid."

Quatre staggered to his feet and sighed in relief that Heero was a human--- and a Preventer as well. "Oh--- thank Allah, you're here!" He started coughing again.

Heero stepped towards him and smacked him in the back. Quatre fell to the floor. Heero picked the boy up and sat him on the cot in the corner of the room. "Uh, sorry about that."

The blonde smiled, "Oh, it's okay! It happens all the time!"

"???" Heero continued by asking, "You must be the newcomer: Quatre, right?"

The Blonde Arabian nodded.

"What happened to rest of the Alpha Team, Quatre?"

Quatre stopped moving altogether. He was terrified. He was becoming pale(r)…..?

"Bad things, huh?"

The Noble Medic nodded, "Alex and Mueller forced me to leave Dorothy when she started to showing symptoms after being bitten…."

Heero's Prussian eyes widened, "Commander Dorothy got bitten?! What Symptoms?"

"I tried to help her but…. She started turning into a zombie. Zombies ambushed us, in the dining hall. Dorothy wouldn't run from them. She just stood there. I tried to save her, but they pulled me away…."

"Alex and Mueller?" Heero realized. "Why didn't they just kill the zombies?"

"They figured since she was standing there, to leave her as bait, to distract the zombies from us. They were planning to do the same to me, in case things got… rough. They didn't want to waste ammo."

Heero growled, "The cowards. It's not like we're taking on a legion of mobile suits-they are just walking dead people! How can this be a problem?"

Quatre gawked at Heero in disbelief.

"What?"

"You haven't seen the other things, have you?"

"Are they dead as well?"

"I suppose… but-"

Heero turned around and uttered, "I can handle it." He spotted the storage bin and opened it. "That knife's only going to make the killing messy. You want a gun?" He tossed his emptied Eagle at Quatre, who barely caught it.

"Th-thanx!" Quatre replied morbidly at his words.

"Here's some ammo." Heero tossed a few boxes at Quatre.

"Ow!!!"

"….Sorry…"

Quatre shook his head, "Hey!!! It should me apologizing! I stabbed you in the shoulder!!"

Heero shrugged, "Oh, that…. It's no big deal. Happens all the time."

"???"

Duo and Trowa decided that splitting up was a good thing. That way Trowa can go insane by his damn self, and Duo can just be….. Duo. As Preventer 003 headed upstairs, Preventer 002 continued exploring the low ground….

The Shinagami walked into a bizaar room with a green statue dead in the center of the room. What a silly place to put a statue. He thought. He made another observation. Hey!!! I think it's a map up there!!! He stated mentally, noticing the roll of paper in the sculptured bowl.

"It's too friggin high!!!" He huffed jumping and stretching for the map. He stopped. He knew he looked silly doing that. So he decided to regain his kewl points by just knocking the green art piece over. CRASH!!!! "That oughta wake the dead!" Duo came up with a sick thought of zombies and their ugly dogs. Note to Shinagami:Scratch that saying.

He kicked the pieces of art aside and picked up the map. He continued to explore the area behind the red curtain. He noticed a corpse lying upon the floor. Poor guy. He thought as he continued to check out the items on the shelves. A few art supplies, some brushes----"HEY!" he yanked the two magazines of ammo. HEY! The bullets are compatible with this gun. "Suh-weet!"

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!" moaned a zombie crawling from behind. He grabbed Duo's leg and started to bite down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAYH!!!! This are $200 armored boots!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!" Duo screamed.

He kicked snatched his designer boot away from the zombie's infested mouth and began to kick at it. The zombie grabbed the other leg, causing Duo to fall to the floor next to him.

Duo screamed again. He scurried towards the red curtain exit, but the zombie was still holding on to his legs. Duo continued to wriggle, kick and struggle for all it was worth, keeping the zombie's mouth at bay.

As soon as he took out his gun, Duo began to pound the zombie in his head with the handle. He also started punching the hell out of it with his free hand… ALL while screaming like a bitch…

5 minutes later…

Duo Maxwell came to the realization that the bloody mess on the floor between his feet, was no longer a threat to his life… or boots. He got up from the floor and stumbled through the red curtain.

He continued through the door, opposite of the main hall door. Duo walked down a slim hallway, lined with displays of weird stuff. He also spotted some more ammo magazines----JUST for his gun! He happily trotted down the hallway until a zombie dog came flying through the window, opposite the displays. He raced after Duo who calmly turned around and shot its legs off. Then he finished by shooting the head off.

"Woo-Ha!" Duo exclaimed reloading his gun. He continued to walk.

CRASH!!! Another dog came through another window.

"Ho-Hum…." Duo gestured a yawn before shooting the second zombie mutt in the same fashion. He continued to walk…

Soon another dog came smashing through yet another window.

"Oh jeeeeeezuz…. You gotta be kiddin' me!!!" He groaned as he put the gun away and marched towards the charging creature. He served a nasty front kick to the dog's head, knocking it off. "BEOTCH!!!"

He continued to walk….

As soon as he came across another window… the last window, he stopped. He turned towards the window and opened fire. As the glass broke, he heard several zombie dogs whimpering and yelping their last….

"You guys are SO not scary anymore, guys…." Duo sighed. When he finished shooting EVERY zombie dog that lurked outside the mansion, he left the hallway… and continued to walk.

Heero and Quatre were upstairs, armed to the teeth, thanks to the storage bin stuffed with enough ammo and weaponry to kill an army. When one is armed like a walking tank, this creepy mansion isn't all that scary… anymore. Together, the two would-be hunters found all kinds of silly, and otherwise useless items like keys, documents, and diaries…. Just HOW many people ACTUALLY use those things, anyway?! The diaries were basically the same; Parasol employee worked here, got infected here, and lastly DIED here---How sad…

At least to Quatre.

"Oh the poor guy! Heero, the company wanted to visit his family and the wouldn't let him…." The Preventer Newbie called out to Heero. "You gotta read this!" he suggested holding up the diary.

Heero was paying attention to the fancy Zippo lighter he found on the bookshelf. He also found another pack of rifle ammo-Oh joy! Where in his multiple pockets, is The Perfect One, gonna stuff these?

The two Preventers busted into one of the spare sleeping quarters of the Parasol researchers. It basically consisted of a two beds, a bookshelf, desk, and closet, behind the desk…

Quatre's standing at the desk, reading the diary. Meanwhile Heero's on the other side of the room, playing with the lighter…. Both are OBLIVIOUS to lurking danger….

Heero uttered in one long breath, "Let me guess, Quatre: The researcher soon got sick, and he feels that this is the last entry he will write. He hopes someone will read this and realize that Parasol is a crooked corporation that's plotting to further bastardize the medical field with their fiendish human and animal experimentation…. Blah-blah-blah."

"…. Meanie!" Quatre made a face and continued to read. His childlike face began to contort as he read on: "'Bob walked in. Face ugly. Me eat ear.' " Quatre commented, "First he's writing like an adult, but now he's writing like a… toddler. What's this?" Quatre turned the page and continued, " 'Itchy. Tasty.' Hide. Door. Back. Tasty.' " Quatre placed the diary upon the desk and spoke out to his superior, "Heero, this last entry is rather odd. Wonder what he means by Hide, Door, Back?"

Finished investigating and jacking EVERY bit of ammo and healing herb he could find; Heero decided to respond to Quatre about the diary. He blurted out of total randomness, "I don't know, kid. Maybe he's hiding behind the closet door behind you. Let's go." He turned around to head towards the exiting door----

CRASH!!!! A zombie came crashing through the closet door. With lightning speed, Quatre went running towards Heero. The zombie hurried after him. Quatre took cover behind Heero. Heero just stood there. As the zombie approached Heero placed the Eagle into the zombie's mouth and fired. The headless zombie went flying into the wall.

"Gawd, I love enhanced weaponry." He muttered to himself with a smirk. He looked back at Quatre, who was now perched upon the bookshelf, like a cat and asked, "Are you OK, Quatre?"

Quatre fell from the bookshelf, landing with a thud. He stood up, dusted himself off, and replied, "I'm fine, sir. I am sorry."

"We both need to be aware of our surroundings. Let's go."

"Alright!" Quatre cheered as he saluted Heero.

"Stop that!"

"….'Kay."

Duo found himself upstairs, above the main hall. He cautiously traipsed towards the eastern door across the area. Suddenly he heard someone opening a door…

"Trowa?" he called out, hoping it was him.

"Duo? Is that you, Duo?"

"Oh Trowa!" he cheered. He slapped himself for sounding so... WHINY!

The Tall Teen stepped through the same door as Duo. He strolled over to him and spoke, "I thought I told you to stay downstairs?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I got bored and figured my chances of getting attacked would be much better up here!" he uttered sarcastically. "This is SO boring! Have you seen Heero and Zechs?"

"No, I have not seen them. Get sarcastic with me, young man, and I will beat you like the Church SHOULD have, got it!" Trowa growled, leering down at his smaller comrade.

"….yeah, man. Whatever you say, sir." Duo gulped.

Trowa snatched out of his back pocket, another 'useful' item. "Okay. Since you're up here, you disobedient whippersnapper, you can help me explore more of the upstairs area. Let's split and see what we can find."

"Great plan, sir."

Trowa glared, "…"

"Oh, hey!!! Excellent! Excellent!" he cracked a smile and forced a chuckle. "But seriously, don't you think it's kinda dangerous splitting up, again?"

The Mute One blinked and responded by saying, "For you: Yeah. For me: No."

Duo gasped at his calm, yet cold reply, "B-but why!?"

"Cuz, I have this…" Trowa cocked his CUSTOM MAGNUM and brandished his weapon in Duo's face. "All I need is this and ALL the Magnum rounds I hogged up at the Police Station."

"You took out the whole supply?!"

"Hell yeah!" Trowa stopped smiling and handed Duo something else from the depths of his pockets. "You can have this!" He announced as he handed Duo some ammo…. For a gun he DID NOT acquire YET!!!

"….The FUCK?!?!? Where's the damn WEAPON?!?!"

Trowa shrugged, "The hell should I know. Why don't you go look for it." Trowa laughed and left through the same door he came from. "Good Luck! You'll need it!" he sounded through the door…. Still laughing.

"What an asshole!"

From behind the closed door, "WHAT?!"

"Uh… NOTHING!"

"……….thought so."