Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing Goes to Hogwarts ❯ Halloween ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter 7: Halloween

“Welcome to Non-Magic Studies,” Wu-Fei said. “You may call me Professor Chang.” He surveyed his students critically. Most of them were girls. Like Quatre's class, there were more upperclassmen taking the course since they had more schedule space for electives. Percy sat near the back of the classroom staring gloomily at Penny, whose eyes were glued, like the eyes of every other girl in the room, on Hadeya, who was standing beside Wu-Fei. “The purpose of this course is to provide you with a well-rounded general education. While magic is certainly a valid subject area for witches and wizards, you are still human beings and therefore should have some understanding of the world in which you live. So, to start things off, let's have a test.”

“What?!” a seventh year Hufflepuff girl squealed. “Just like that? A test? But we haven't learned anything yet!”

“I don't know about that,” Wu-Fei said. “You have undoubtedly picked up some bits of knowledge here and there over the years. It may have leached into you through videos and newspapers. So I want to find out what you know and the easiest way is to test you. So,” he gestured to Hadeya, “my nephew Hadeya here will be handing out the tests. Please answer each question thoroughly and honestly. If you don't know an answer, just move on to the next question. This test will not be graded. It is simply an assessment.”

As the tests were handed out, the mutters of concern and confusion turned to outright dismay.

“I don't know any of the answers!” one Ravenclaw girl wailed.

“I don't even understand this question!” another girl, a Gryffindor, moaned.

“Professor Chang,” Percy said, holding up a shaking hand, “what language is question seven in?”

“Ah,” Wu-Fei said. “Since you students are English, I hoped you might be familiar with some of the earlier forms of your native language. That question is written in Old English. Everyone finished?” Upon receiving miserable nods from everyone, Wu-Fei turned to Hadeya. “Please collect the tests, Hadeya.”

Hadeya went around the rooms and collected the tests.

“Professor Chang,” Percy spoke up again. “How could you expect anyone to know some of those answers? Those questions were ridiculously obscure.”

“Nonsense. My son Roku, who some of you may know is more or less twelve, actually put together this test for me. I told him specifically not to include any questions to which he did not know the answers.”

Percy's mouth dropped open.

“Now I admit, Roku is a very bright young man, gifted even, so I would not have expected you to know all the answers,” Wu-Fei began glancing through the tests and frowned, “but I would have expected you to do better than this,” he concluded. “I can see I really have my work cut out for me.” He tossed the tests onto his desk. “Since none of you got the first question, let's start there.” He turned to the chalkboard and wrote Name the nine rings of Hell from Dante's Inferno and describe the punishments inflicted in each. “This is a basic literary question,” he began.

“Professor Chang!” Percy interrupted again.

“What is it, Mr. Weasley?” Wu-Fei sighed.

“Do you intend to cover all the subjects represented by the questions on that test? We can't possibly learn all of that by the end of term!”

“Perhaps not, but I would hope that by then I can at least awaken in you a fundamental desire to learn.” Wu-Fei looked around. All the girls were staring at Hadeya again. “Females!” he muttered under his breath. He turned back to the chalkboard. “Now, to continue…”

As the students filed out of the classroom later, Percy was frowning darkly. “I just don't see any value in that class,” he complained. “I don't know if I'll bother going again.”

“I'm going!” Penny said dreamily. “Hadeya said good day to me as we were leaving! His voice is so dreamy!”

Percy stared at her. “What are you saying, Penny? You would waste your time in that class just to hear some man speak?”

“Not any man!” Penny sighed wistfully. “Just Hadeya. He's so beautiful.”

Percy's mouth worked and a look of horrified anguish spread across his face. “Penny! You're talking about another man!”

“What?”

“In front of me!”

Penny stared at him blankly. “What are you carrying on about, Percy? If you keep nattering at me, I'll forget how Hadeya's voice sounded. I'll see you later.” She drifted away, chattering with the other girls, leaving a stricken Percy to stare after her helplessly.

As Wu-Fei and Hadeya exited the classroom, they found Heero waiting outside. “Can I borrow Hadeya?” Heero asked. “I need help looking for that wretched Duo.”

“Is he missing?”

“More like hiding,” Heero grumbled. “He was supposed to help me check the perimeter and make sure the dementors are staying off the grounds, but he started mumbling something about cold thoughts and disappeared on me.”

“His ability may make him more susceptible to the power of the dementors,” Hadeya said worriedly. “I hear they can attack the mind.”

Heero snorted. “Whatever! That doesn't let him out of the chores. Let's go.”

Wu-Fei watched father and son walk away, scratching his shoulder absently.

“Aha!” Duo said from behind a nearby statue nestled in an alcove. “You itch!”

“I do not!” Wu-Fei said immediately, but he began scratching harder. “Dammit! Why did you have to say that word?”

“Let's go take a bath. I'll scratch your scales.”

Wu-Fei's eyes started to go soft, but then he shook his head. “No! You just want to get me naked so you can do unspeakable things to my backside.”

Duo rubbed his hands together. “Maybe. But I bet you wouldn't mind a nice long back-scratch first.”

“No, no, no!” Wu-Fei shook his head wildly. “I'm fine! I don't itch!” He began scratching with both hands; one over his shoulder and one under. “And what are you doing here? Heero's looking for you.”

“I know. I'm hiding from him.” Duo sidled closer. “Let's go bathe. There's a spigot in the tub that let's in lavender-scented oil. It's really smooth and leaves the skin soft as a baby's butt. I can rub it all over your butt.”

“Lavender-scented?” Wu-Fei said weakly.

“Yup,” Duo nodded.

Wu-Fei closed his eyes with a groan. “I'm worthless!” he said mournfully. “I cannot even say no to lavender-scented oil. What kind of man am I?”

“The kind who likes getting scratched and oiled and thoroughly screwed.” Duo grabbed Wu-Fei's hand and led him off, giggling.

Down in the front hall, Heero stood with his hands on his hips, scowling indiscriminately at passing students.

“Maybe we should get Jett,” Hadeya suggested. “She can lead us straight to Uncle Duo.”

Heero brightened. “Yeah, let's get Jett. She can scream the dementors off the grounds and then take us to Duo.”

“Are you sure it's safe to take her near such dangerous creatures?”

“You think there's anything around here more dangerous than Jett?” Heero smirked. “She should be with Treize and Zechs right now. They're supposed to be babysitting.”

They went out the front door and found the two men and two little girls having a picnic on the front lawn.

Zechs saluted them with a glass of wine. “Come and join us.”

“Not right now,” Heero said. “I'm working. Can I borrow Jett?”

“What for?”

“Scare the dementors.”

Zechs lifted an eyebrow.

“She gets to shriek,” Heero said.

Jett popped to her feet. “Really loud?”

“Well, pretty loud.”

Jett clapped her little hands. “Yay! I get to shriek!”

Everyone winced.

“Not yet!” Heero said

“Sorry!”

“Make sure she's facing away from the castle,” Zechs advised. “Otherwise, Quatre will have to repair a bunch of windows.”

“Right.”

“What if she knocks down trees?” Zechs said.

“They'll grow back.”

Jett grabbed Heero and Hadeya by the hand. “Let's go!”

“All right!”

The two men let the little girl drag them away. Not too long later, an earsplitting shriek, muffled by distance but still rather painful, echoed back across the lawn.

Treize blinked. “Do you suppose that worked?”

“I don't think dementors can hear,” Zechs said, “but the pressure from the sound waves may crush them.”

There was a long, slow creaking sound, followed by a loud crash. Several birds flew up into the air, squawking angrily.

“Hmm…” Treize said. “It seems you were right about the trees.”

“Well, it only sounded like one. That's not so bad.”

There was another cracking sound, followed by a crash and the snapping of tree branches. More offended birds scattered into the air.

“Oh.”

Alexa giggled. “Jett blew trees over.”

“I think using sound against dementors may be a bad idea,” Treize said.

“I'd have to agree with that,” said Zechs.

Heero, Hadeya and Jett came back across the lawn.

“We decided not to do it that way,” Heero announced. “The dementors do back off, but there's quite a bit of collateral damage.”

“So we heard.”

Heero winced. “You heard that, huh?”

“Well, trees do make a sound when they fall in the forest,” Treize said with a straight face.

“Anyway,” Heero said quickly, “I need Jett to take me to Duo, so we'll have her with us for a little while yet, ok?”

“Sure.”

The three of them walked off.

Treize stretched out on his back. “It sure is a nice day.”

“It sure is,” Zechs agreed. He stretched out with his head resting on Treize's tummy.

“Um hmm,” Alexa echoed and she lay down with her head pillowed on Zechs' tummy.

“It's kind of nice not having anything to do,” Treize said.

“We should be tutoring Alexa,” Zechs pointed out, but his eyes were closed.

“We can do that later,” Alexa said with a yawn. “I'm too sleepy to learn right now. I need a nap.”

“A nap sounds like a good idea,” Zechs agreed.

“You two are a bad influence,” Treize chuckled. He closed his eyes. “But a quick nap won't hurt.”

Later that evening, Zechs examined his sunburned nose in the mirror in their sitting room. “You said a quick nap wouldn't hurt!” he complained.

“I said a quick one,” Treize answered, trying not to laugh. “But a three hour beaching in the sun isn't quick.”

“It's because you're so fair, Mommy. My nose didn't burn. Neither did Daddy's.”

“That's not much comfort,” Zechs grumbled, touching his bright pink nose gingerly. “It's going to peel.”

“Ask Roku to fix it,” Alexa suggested.

“Maybe I will.”

“Let's go down to dinner. He should be there by now.”

They arrived in the Great Hall to find many of the students already assembled for dinner. The other Gundam pilots were in their usual place at the teacher's table.

“What's the matter with Heero?” Treize inquired of no one in particular. “He looks pissed.”

“He's mad at Duo again,” Quatre said.

“What for?”

“Momma was being naughty with Papa Wu-Fei in the bathtub!” Jett giggled.

“He was oiling my back!” Wu-Fei said quickly.

“Yeah, with his chest!” Heero snapped.

“I like to give that all-over massage,” Duo snickered.

“You were supposed to be helping me!” Heero growled. “Not ramming Wu-Fei with your stupid…”

“Children present!” Quatre interrupted loudly.

Heero subsided, still grumbling.

“There's Roku, Mommy.”

“Oh, thanks.” Zechs walked over to Roku, sitting at the Gryffindor table with his friends. “Roku, would you mind fixing my sunburn?” He tapped his nose.

Roku blinked. “That's really pink, Uncle Zechs. You must have been in the sun a long time.”

“We were napping. Can you fix it?”

“Sure.” Roku touched the tip of Zechs' nose. “Bene nasus.” The redness on Zechs nose disappeared.

“Thanks, Roku. That's much better.” Zechs rubbed his nose. “I really didn't want it to peel. It's so unattractive.” He returned to the teacher's table.

“You did that without your wand,” Hermione said.

“Oh, um, yeah.” Roku blinked sheepishly. “I always forget.”

“You need to make regular use of your wand, Roku; otherwise you won't pass your finals at the end of term.”

“But if I already know how to do something without using a wand, isn't that better?”

Hermione made a stern face. “But many of our classes REQUIRE a wand. You need to learn. Obviously, I'm going to have to take you in hand.”

“Um, ok.”

Ron rolled his eyes. “Do you think we should warn him?” he whispered to Harry.

“It's better to let him learn on his own. And he does need to learn to use his wand.”

From down the table, Percy was glaring at Roku. Suddenly, he pushed to his feet and stalked to where Roku and the others were sitting. “Roku,” Percy said in a stern voice with his chin lifted, “is it true that you wrote the test Professor Chang gave us this morning?”

Roku nodded. “I know it was kind of easy, but Papa Wu-Fei said to stick to simpler subjects.”

Percy paled. “Easy?” he exclaimed weakly. “Those questions were… were totally obscure!”

“Really?” Roku scratched his head. “I learned most of that stuff back when I was seven or eight. I thought everyone knew the standard atomic weight of plutonium. I was going to ask for the melting point in degrees Celsius, but I thought that might be too obscure for non-chemists.”

Percy's mouth worked silently. He stared at Roku for several seconds, then turned and stumbled back to his seat.

Ron began to laugh uproariously. “That was fantastic, Roku! I've never seen Percy rendered speechless before! That was absolutely marvelous!”

“But it really was supposed to be an easy test.”

“Priceless!” Ron howled. “This is going to be the best year yet at Hogwarts!”

But Harry did not seem to think so as the end of October approached. He got more and more depressed as Halloween neared, even to the point of only picking at his food at meals. On Halloween morning, he was really down. He slumped on the table with his chin resting on his crossed arms. Everyone else was chattering excitedly around Harry's island of gloominess.

“You seem depressed, Harry,” Roku remarked.

“It's nothing,” Harry said with a long sigh.

“He's depressed because he can't go to Hogsmeade with us,” Hermione confided.

“What's Hogsmeade?”

“It's the wizarding town near here,” Ron said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic and failing.

“What will you do there?”

“Oh, not much,” Hermione began, but Ron spoke up at the same time.

“Well, we'll probably stop by Honeyduke's sweetshop and Zonko's Joke Shop and the Three Broomsticks and ow!” He glared at Hermione. “What did you stomp on my foot for?” Then he looked at Harry's mournful face. “Oh, sorry.”

“Why can't Harry go?” Roku asked innocently.

“Because we had to get a signed permission slip from our parents or guardians and Harry didn't get his signed,” Ron admitted. Then he grinned at Roku. “But you could go! Your parents are right here so you could get permission.”

“Yeah,” Harry said without any enthusiasm, “you should go. You'll have a great time.”

“That's all right,” Roku said. “I'd rather stay here. I want to go exploring anyway.”

“Students aren't supposed to roam about the castle unsupervised,” Hermione said. “There are a lot of dangerous places.”

“I know!”

After breakfast, the lucky students on the list to go to Hogsmeade lined up in the front hall. Harry bid goodbye to his friends there and slouched off to find something to occupy his time. Roku also said goodbye in the front hall and then galloped off up the stairs.

Harry watched him go with a sigh. “I guess he's going to go visit with his sister and cousin. Too bad he didn't invite me.” The day ended up not being a complete waste because he got to spend time with Professor Lupin, but once Lupin sent him on his way, Harry could not think of anything else exciting to do. So he started back for his common room, his hands stuffed in his pockets. But as he walked past the end of one particularly gloomy corridor, he heard something down at the far end and stopped.

“It's nothing,” he told himself. “There wouldn't be anything dangerous inside the castle.” He tried hard not to remember that whole incident with the troll. He peered down the hall, trying to make out if there was anything in the shadows at the other end. Suddenly, he froze. “It's my imagination,” he whispered. But then the shadows shifted again and something large appeared to take a step toward him. “Oh no! The grim!” Without thinking, Harry turned and ran. The sound of paws pounding down the hall behind him made him run even faster, but the paws were catching up with him. Then he shrieked in terror as something suddenly pounced on his back, knocking him to the ground.

“No!” Harry cried. “Don't kill me!” He tried to scramble away, fishing desperately for his wand, but only succeeded in rolling over. Then he stopped and stared up in complete astonishment. He blinked several times, thinking he must already be dead and imagining things. A medium size tiger was standing over him, staring down at him with big blue eyes.

“Why would I kill you, Harry?” said Roku's voice.

Harry stared around wildly. “Roku?! Where are you?”

“Right here,” said the tiger.

Harry gaped. “Wha…?”

“It's me,” said the tiger, “Roku.” And just like that, the tiger disappeared in a shimmer of blue light and Roku was crouching over Harry on all fours, his long dark braid hanging down past Harry's face.

“You… you're an animagus?”

“Sort of.” Roku moved aside and sat down on his knees with his heels folded under him. “Professor Dumbledore said I shouldn't tell anyone, but it's hard being a human all the time. I was born a tiger.”

“What?” Harry sat up, scratching his head in confusion.

“I was born a tiger.”

“But…” Harry's brow wrinkled in increasing confusion. “You said Professor Winner was your mother.”

“That's right.”

“But he's human.”

“He wasn't when he had me. He was a tiger.”

“But…” Harry put his head in his hands. “But your fathers are all human. How could they mate with a tiger? Were they tigers, too?”

“No,” Roku laughed. “They were all men and Mama was a woman when they made me. But Mama turned into a tiger when I was born, so I came out a tiger. I like being a tiger.”

“What a minute!” Harry held up a hand. “So that means Professor Winner is an animagus.”

“Yes, he is.”

“But nobody knows.”

“That's right, except for Professor Dumbledore.”

“I think I have a headache.”

“Would you like an aspirin?”

“You have aspirin?”

“Of course.” Roku produced a small plastic bottle of aspirin. “You should only take one. They're extra strength. Here's some water.” He produced an unopened bottle of water.

Harry stared and then accepted an aspirin tablet and the bottle of water. “This is really weird.”

“You want to go exploring with me? I was just terrorizing Mr. Peeves and now I want to chase ghosts. There's a headless horseman that Nearly Headless Nick doesn't like and I thought I would steal his head.”

“You can touch ghosts?”

“Sure. You just have to know where to grab them. Let's go swipe the headless horseman's head. We can hide it and blame it on Peeves. He's annoying.”

Harry began to laugh. “Why not? This could be fun.”

Later that evening, when the others returned from Hogsmeade, Harry was exhausted. Roku was fast in tiger form and Harry had had trouble keeping up with him. But Ron and Hermione had brought him a whole bunch of stuff from Hogsmeade and there was lots of stuff to talk about, so he never got around to mentioning his afternoon chasing a talking tiger through the dim back halls of Hogwarts. The Halloween feast was fantastic and everyone ate far too much, although no one could keep up with Roku. He emptied entire platters all by himself. He winked at Harry.

“Playing is hard work.”

“It is the way you do it,” Harry agreed. He put away a goodly number of plates of food himself.

Ron stared at them suspiciously. “What else did you do today, Harry? You told us about Lupin, but you must have done more than that.”

“Oh, nothing, really,” Harry said airily. “Roku and I were just playing, that's all.”

“Playing what?” Ron glanced from one to the other, looking a little unhappy.

“Um, hide-and-seek.”

Roku giggled.

Ron frowned.

“What does it matter what they were doing?” Hermione interrupted. “As long as Harry had fun.”

“I guess.”

The Halloween feast was a smashing success and everyone was still talking excitedly about the food and the entertainment as they returned to their common rooms. But outside the Gryffindor common room, a crowd had formed.

“Why don't they go in?” asked Roku.

“I don't know,” Harry replied.

“The Fat Lady's gone and her portrait's been shredded!” a frightened Gryffindor relayed to them.

“What?!”

But the news was worse than that. When Dumbledore and several other professors arrived to investigate, they were informed by a rather harried looking Peeves that the Fat Lady had run off because she was attacked by Sirius Black.

Harry went pale.

“Who's Sirius Black?” Roku asked curiously.

“Oh, just a man they say is trying to kill me.”

“He's a dangerous maniac!” Hermione added.

“Oh. Well, if I smell him again, I'll let you know.”

Harry, Ron and Hermione stared at Roku. “You know what Sirius Black smells like?”

“I do now.”

“There must be a hundred people standing in this hallway!” Ron exclaimed. “How can you possibly pick out the scent of someone who isn't even here anymore?”

Roku shrugged. “That's easy. It's the only scent that doesn't belong to someone who's here. And besides, it's all over the Fat Lady's portrait.”

Ron's eyes went round. “But you know what this means, don't you? You could track down Sirius Black. We could catch him before he can kill Harry!”

“I suppose,” Roku shrugged, “but I would have to ask Mama first. I don't think I'm supposed to hunt dangerous killers by myself.”

“None of us should!” Hermione said firmly. “We should tell Professor Dumbledore at once.”

“No,” said Harry as they were ushered back downstairs to the Great Hall. “I don't want to be any more the center of attention than I already am. If Roku can smell Sirius Black, he can warn me if I'm in any danger. Let's just keep this to ourselves.”

“I don't think that's a good idea,” said Hermione.

“Let's do as Harry says,” Ron countered. “After this, I doubt Black will be able to get into the castle again. There's no point making a needless fuss.”

“If you say so,” Hermione said doubtfully. “But if there's another incident, we're going to Dumbledore right away. I insist.”

“Sure, Hermione,” Ron and Harry intoned together.

Roku leaned close to Harry. “She's kind of bossy, isn't she?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “You've barely scratched the surface, Roku. Just wait until she really hits her stride.”