Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing Goes to Hogwarts ❯ We Veer Back into the Story ( Chapter 17 )

Chapter 17: We Veer Back into the Story

“Professor Dumbledore!” Snape exclaimed loudly. “This is most unacceptable! There is a dragon sleeping on our front lawn!”

“Yes, I know!” Dumbledore replied with a faint giggle. “It's exciting, isn't it?”

“I don't think he's asleep yet,” Hagrid added with a happy smile. “I just dropped off two sides of beef and a couple of lamb shanks fer `im to snack on.”

“Is that a good idea?” Professor Flitwick said nervously. “Feeding a wild animal only encourages it to stay.”

“Gift's not a wild animal,” Quatre said.

“But my point is still valid,” Flitwick countered in his high voice. “Children come and go through that gate.”

“Gift doesn't eat humans,” Quatre said.

“Most of the time,” Heero muttered under his breath.

Quatre smacked his arm. “Anyway,” he continued with a glare for Heero, “Gift will go home in the morning. He just stopped by to say hello.”

“Ain't that somethin'?” Hagrid boomed. “A dragon stoppin' by ter say hello!” He giggled happily.

Snape's mouth worked silently for a moment. “Professor Dumbledore!” he finally shouted. “What are you going to do about this?”

“Well, actually, I was thinking of going back outside after dinner and chatting a bit more with our guest. I'm really quite fascinated.”

“Well, I will have no part of this tomfoolery!” Snape exclaimed indignantly and he stalked from the dining hall.

“That's not something you hear every day,” Duo remarked.

“What's that?” Wu-Fei asked.

“The word tomfoolery used in a sentence.”

“Ah.”

In the morning, everyone went outside to see Gift off and then it was time to settle down to the serious business of taking finals. The students in Quatre's wandless magic class were a little alarmed, wondering what kinds of spells Quatre would expect them to perform for their final exam. Only Hermione, who still looked rather high-strung, seemed to be looking forward to it.

“I've been practicing dozens of spells,” Hermione said. “I think I'm ready for whatever he might throw at us.”

Kitty Tanner, the Hufflepuff girl who had previously turned her own hair green, blinked unhappily. “I don't think I'm ready,” she said. “I lose my concentration when I'm nervous.”

“You don't want that,” Hermione replied. “That's how the worst mistakes happen with wandless magic.”

“I know!”

Quatre marched into the room. “All right, students! Take your seats please. Did everyone put their wand in the bucket?” There were a few nods and affirmative responses, along with a lot of guilty looks. Quatre clapped his hands and wands leaped from underneath several robes and zipped to the bucket. He smiled. “There, that's better. Let's begin.” He turned to the blackboard and proceeded to write out six phrases in Latin. Three of them were quite long. “Now then, I want you to write down what should happen for each of these spells. You have one hour.” He sat down at his desk with a smile.

Anxiously, students pulled out quills, ink and parchment, stared at the blackboard for a moment and then began scribbling furiously.

When the hour was up, Quatre stood up. “All right! Time's up. Please blot your work, roll it up and pass it forward.”

Several students had looks of dismay on their faces as they handed in their roll of parchment.

“Now for the practical part of the exam,” Quatre said brightly.

A groan swept the students.

“A practical part?!” Percy exclaimed. “There's more?!”

“Of course.” Quatre turned to the blackboard, erased it, and wrote out another Latin phrase. “I want each of you to try casting this spell. You should produce a small breeze.” He turned back to the class. “Just to be safe, please put everything away in your book bags and put them under your desks.” When everyone had done so, Quatre smiled at the student at the left end of the front row. “You're first.”

The first few students managed to produce noticeable breezes, but the next two students could not make the air move at all. Hermione produced quite a respectable breeze and then it was Percy's turn. With a dramatic wave of his hand, he pronounced the words of the spell loudly. Immediately, a vicious little dust devil swirled to life, tipped over Percy's desk and blew everyone's robes up as it whirled around the classroom.

“Ah!”

“Look out!”

“Nice underwear!”

“Professor!”

“Wait!” Percy cried.

Quatre put a hand over his face. “Percy, were you thinking of a cyclone, by any chance?”

“No! Um…”

Quatre waved his hand and the dust devil dissipated. “Next.”

When it was Kitty Tanner's turn, everyone watched a little apprehensively. Kitty's face was scrunched up as she tried to concentrate, but nearly everyone could tell that her pronunciation was off. Even before she finished speaking, a tiny black cloud formed above her head. Streaks of electricity flickered through the cloud, accompanied by tiny rumbles of thunder, and then the cloud dumped water onto Kitty's head, immediately slicking down her shiny golden hair.

“Oh no!” Kitty wailed. “What happened, Professor?”

“Not again!” someone exclaimed.

The tiny thunderstorm started pitching hailstones into the air and pelting nearby students.

“Ouch!”

“Hey!”

“Languages are just not your skill, Miss Tanner,” Quatre said with a sigh. He pointed a finger at the thunderstorm and it disappeared in a shower of water, drenching Kitty completely. “Next.”

The rest of the final proceeded without any more major incidents. When the last student completed the exercise, Quatre sighed with relief. “Very good, students,” he said. “That completes the final exam. I've enjoyed instructing you this year and I hope you've learned something. Class dismissed.”

The students filed out of the room, claiming their wands from the bucket as they went by. Kitty Tanner's shoes squelched as she moved to join the queue.

“One moment, Miss Tanner,” Quatre said. He waved a hand at her and a swoosh of air swept across her. In an instant, she was completely dry.

“Oh! Thank you, Professor!”

“Good day, Miss Tanner.”

Kitty reclaimed her wand and hurried out of the room.

“Well, that was certainly an interesting experience,” Quatre said to himself. “I wonder how Wu-Fei's final will go.”

At Wu-Fei's final exam two days later, a roomful of apprehensive students watched as Wu-Fei set a stack of pages on his desk.

“Did Roku write this test?” Evie asked hopefully. She and Susie had spent the last two days picking Roku's brain for any pieces of random information he might contain.

“No,” Wu-Fei said. “I wrote this one myself, but it only covers material we've gone over in class.” He handed the tests to Hadeya. “Would you pass these out, please, Hadeya? You'll have two hours to complete the test. Use as many rolls of parchment as you need. I've stacked more on the table over there if you need it.”

The students stared in horror at the towering stack of parchment.

“This isn't good if he thinks we're going to need all that,” Susie whispered to Evie. Hadeya handed her a test and she read the first question. “Oh, god!” she groaned. “I'm going to need more parchment!”

Evie read the first question and hung her head. “I won't. I'm going to totally blow this test.”

“Please begin,” said Wu-Fei.

For the next two hours, pens scratched furiously over parchment. Piles of scrolls began heaping up around the desks. Hadeya walked around the room handing out fresh scrolls and refilling ink wells so students would not have to get up.

“Five more minutes,” Wu-Fei said.

“No!”

“Not yet!”

“I need more time!”

“Argh!”

Quills began moving so fast that bits of feathers started flying from their tops.

Wu-Fei stood up. “All right. Time's up!”

“Ugh!” A deep groan issued from pretty much every throat.

“Please take a few minutes to make sure your name is on all of your scrolls,” Wu-Fei added.

“That was the worst final I've ever taken!” Percy groaned. There were at least fifteen scrolls piled up around his feet.

Penelope glared at him. “But I bet you still finished all the questions!”

“Well, yes,” Percy replied, utterly clueless. “But it was difficult to get them all answered in sufficient detail.”

Penelope's glare darkened. “How troublesome for you,” she said acidly.

Percy finally recognized the danger he was in. His face paled. “Well, as Head Boy, it's important that I set an example for other students…”

“Of course!” Penelope snapped. “You're so much more important than the rest of us!”

Percy groaned. “Could we talk about this later, Penny?”

“I'll be busy later,” Penelope said loftily and turned her back on him.

Percy buried his face in his hands.

Evie and Susie snickered.

“If your name is on everything, just leave your scrolls where they are,” Wu-Fei said. “Hadeya and I will collect them.”

With drooping shoulders, the students files out of the classroom.

“Do you think the test was too hard, Uncle Wu-Fei?” Hadeya asked. “Some of the students looked a little overwhelmed.”

“Nonsense,” Wu-Fei replied. “Roku finished this test in half-an-hour. Admittedly, I did let him type it, so it went a little faster than if he'd been handwriting it.” He looked around at the piles of scrolls. “Maybe I'll have him help me grade these. This could take a while.” He grinned at Hadeya. “You can help, too.”

Hadeya blinked uncertainly at the mounds of parchment. “If you need me to.”

“I wonder if I should have told the class that everyone will get a passing grade regardless of how they did on this test.” Wu-Fei speculated aloud. “Maybe they would have felt less stress during the exam.”

Hadeya stared. “You're not going to base their grades on the test? Then why grade the exams?”

“For their edification, of course,” Wu-Fei said. “I'm sure they'll all want to know how much they've learned this year. But since they are magic students, it wouldn't do to affect their overall marks with a rather unrelated class.”

Hadeya shook his head. “I think you might not want to tell them that. I don't think your scales will protect you from magical attacks.”

In their suite that evening, Roku was once again playing Chutes and Ladders with Alexa and Jett, using, unfortunately, a completely new set of playing pieces.

“Aren't those new playing pieces?” Zechs asked Quatre quietly.

“I don't want to know.”

“Quite a few of them seem to have escaped.”

“I'm not talking about it.”

“Ignoring a situation doesn't make it go away.”

“Yes it does.”

“Are you really a Gundam pilot?”

“I could kick your butt.”

“Hm…” Duo murmured. “Blond on blond. I want to see that.”

“Keep it in your pants, pervert,” Heero grumbled.

“I just want to watch!”

“That's how it starts,” Wu-Fei muttered.

“You interested?”

“No!”

“Let's go bathe!”

“I'm not taking my clothes off anywhere near you when you have that look in your eye,” Wu-Fei replied archly.

“Don't you need oiling?” Duo fixed an innocent stare on Wu-Fei.

“Gah! Keep your itch-inducing thoughts out of my head! Heero!”

“Don't bother me. I'm reading.”

“But…!”

“Just go bathe with him, for crying out loud, so the rest of us can have some peace and quiet!”

“Yay!” Duo pounced on Wu-Fei.

“I'm busy!” Wu-Fei protested futilely as Duo dragged him out the door.

“How are your finals going, Roku?” Trowa asked as if nothing had just happened.

“Fine. I only have one more.”

“I trust you've been avoiding using regular magic and sticking with your wand.”

“Of course! I'm getting really good at it. Wanna see?” Roku pulled out his wand, pointed it at a chair, and intoned a spell. A thin blast of light shot from his wand and hit the chair. The chair jumped and made a high, squeaking noise. Then it began to wander around the room on legs that had become flexible, bumping into people and tables.

Quatre gave him a look. “That seems like a less than useful application of magic.”

But Alexa and Jett had both jumped to their feet. “A walking chair!” they cried in unison and leaped onto its padded seat gleefully. They discovered at once that they could guide the chair's movements by pushing and pulling on its arms.

Roku looked a little smug. “It can do stairs.”

“Let's go!” Alexa immediately cried and they guided the chair toward the door. Treize opened it so they could go out, although it took them a few tries to line it up right so it would fit.

“I'll keep an eye on them,” Treize said and followed the two giggling girls in their walking chair.

Quatre sighed and went back to grading his final exams.

“I suppose you're going to ignore that, too,” Zechs remarked.

“Ignore what?” Quatre replied.

Zechs shook his head and turned to Roku. “Now you don't have anyone to play with.”

“That's ok.” Roku shifted into tiger form. “I'll go chase ghosts.” He trotted out the still open door.

Hadeya suddenly looked up from the table where he was hunched over Wu-Fei's final exams. “Hey! Wait a minute! Who is going to help me with these?!”

Zechs sighed. “I'll help you. Underneath my totally hot exterior, I am very well educated.”

“Isn't that a little immodest?” Quatre asked sourly.

“I only speak the truth.”

“You're totally hot, too,” Trowa said with a grin.

Quatre blushed. “Do you mind? I'm trying to grade papers.”

“Need help? I could give you a massage to help you focus. Your buttocks look tense.”

“You can't see my buttocks!”

“But you've been sitting all afternoon. I'm sure you could use a nice, relaxing butt massage. I'll use warm oil.”

“You're as bad as Duo,” Heero said.

“Not all the time.”

“I'm busy!” Quatre said loudly.

“You can finish that tomorrow. Let's go in our bedroom.”

“Trowa!”

“Please?”

“Argh! Fine! But no weird positions.” Quatre paused. “Well, unless it's that last one. That was pretty good.”

Trowa grinned.

When the door closed behind them, Heero smiled. “Isn't this nice? It's so quiet and relaxing.”

“It won't last,” Zechs predicted.

“That's why I'm going to milk it for all it's worth,” Heero said. He settled more deeply into his chair with his book.

Out in the halls, Roku crouched down at a corner, his tail swishing mischievously. Around the corner, a group of unsuspecting ghosts were talking, mostly saying unflattering things about Nearly Headless Nick for being, well, nearly headless instead of completely headless. Roku waited until the ghosts started to drift past his hallway and then he pounced, catching a visiting admirer of the Headless Hunt under both front paws.

“Ah!” the ghost cried. “Save me!”

But with terrifying shrieks, the other ghosts scattered, plunging through the walls and abandoning Roku's victim to his fate.

“You shouldn't say mean things about Nick,” Roku growled threateningly. “I can bite your head off if you think being completely headless is so great.” He caught the ghost's head between his jaws.

“NO!” the ghost wailed. “I don't want to lose my head!”

“'m sur u ca' kee' tra' o' i',” Roku mumbled rather unclearly, munching the ghost's head rather thoroughly in the process.

“Roku, what are you doing?” Harry stopped where he had just come around the corner, staring in surprise.

“'e insul'd `ick,” Roku mumbled.

“What?”

Roku spit out the ghost's head. “He insulted Nick.”

“How is it that you can even touch him?!”

Roku giggled. “It's pretty easy. Anyway, should I rip his head off? He did insult our house ghost.”

“No!” the ghost wailed again and it struggled to escape, trying to sink into the floor, but Roku's sharp claws had it pinned.

Harry shook his head. “I don't think Nick would approve. You better let him go.”

“Oh, all right.” Roku backed off and the ghost zoomed away, blasting through the nearest wall with a lingering wail. Roku giggled again. “That was fun! Let's play!”

“Play what?” Harry asked suspiciously. “We have a final tomorrow.”

“Tiger hunt! You can be the prey and I'll be the tiger.”

“What kind of game is that?!”

“It's fun! You run and I'll chase you.”

“That's not a game!”

“Sure it is!” Roku dropped his chest to the floor so his rump was stuck up in the air. His tail lashed back and forth. “Get ready; I'm going to pounce.”

“What?!”

“One… two…”

“No!” Harry wailed, sounding an awful lot like Roku's last victim, and he took off running. Roku gave him a ten second head start and then took off after him. Harry looked back over his shoulder, his eyes going round. Even knowing that the tiger chasing him was Roku did not diminish the visceral fear of being chased by a two hundred pound cat. He put on an extra burst of speed and promptly collided head-on with Draco Malfoy. Both boys went down in a heap and a second later, Roku was on them, his great tiger tongue slathering them liberally with slimy doses of tiger spit.

“Augh!” Draco shrieked. “He's trying to eat us!”

“No, he isn't,” Harry said, trying desperately to protect his glasses. “But we'll need baths after this, dammit! Yuck! Roku! Stop!”

Roku stopped, laughing maniacally. “That was fun! Run some more!” He bounced off the two boys and Draco immediately took off in a panic. “Yay!” Roku cried and he dashed after the fleeing Slytherin.

“Draco!” Harry shouted. “Don't run!” He ran after them, but Draco was running as hard as he could and Harry could barely keep up. Roku, of course, was running just fast enough to keep Draco moving.

“Help me! Ah!” Draco cried as he ran, but in his panic, he was running into a section of the castle that was virtually unpopulated. Dust flew up where his feet smacked the floor and he finally slipped trying to round a corner. As he slid to a stop, Roku landed on top of him, plastering Draco's fair hair to his head with long swipes of his tongue.

Harry leaped on top of them. “Stop it, Roku! You're going to give him a heart attack!”

Draco was curled up in a ball, whimpering.

Roku stopped licking. “Don't be scared, Draco. I wouldn't really hurt you.”

Draco lifted his head. His face was streaked with tiger spit and what looked suspiciously like tears. “But you tried when you chased me back from Hogsmeade that time!”

“Oh, that. I was just giving Harry time to get back to town. I wasn't going to bite you. Mama would be very angry with me if I did that. I don't like to make Mama angry. He gets scary.” Roku shifted back into human form. “Is this better?”

Draco nodded mutely and sat up. He scrubbed a hand across his face. “It's pretty scary getting chased by a tiger.”

“And slimy,” Harry added. He regarded his streaked glasses in disgust. “I need a bath.”

Draco started to touch his sopping hair and grimaced. “Me, too.”

“Then let's go take one,” Roku suggested. “I love bathing.”

“All together?” Draco's cheeks turned pink under their layer of tiger slime.

“Why not?” Harry said. “I've bathed with little girls. A couple of guys is nothing.”

“I guess so.”

The three of them found the nearest bathing room and went in. It was unoccupied at the moment, so they quickly stripped out of their clothes and plunged into the hot water.

Draco dipped his head under the water to rinse his hair. “What's in that spit of yours, Roku? My hair feels pounds lighter now.”

Roku chuckled. “You think my slobber is bad? You should meet Fenrir. He could make lakes of the stuff.”

“Fenrir?”

“One of Loki's offspring. He's a giant dog and he's very friendly, so he slobbers on everything, especially people.”

Draco stared. “You're talking about mythical creatures.”

“They aren't mythical. They just don't exist in this dimension anymore.”

“I don't think my father would approve,” Draco said uncertainly.

“Your father doesn't approve of anything,” Harry grumbled.

Draco flinched. “Well, it's hard to uphold the family's good name and standards.”

“If you want to call it that.”

“Our family is pure-blooded…” Draco began hotly.

“Oh, stop arguing,” Roku interrupted. “Why don't you kiss and make up?”

“WHAT?!” both boys exclaimed in unison.

Roku grinned. “Got you! Now let's play mobile suit attack, melee version.” And he dived under the water.

“Oh, no!” Harry cried. “Watch out, Malfoy!”

But it was too late. Roku yanked Draco underwater and the startled Slytherin yet out a frightened yelp that turned into a loud gurgle. Mobile suit attack had begun.