Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing on Mount Olympus ❯ Yes Sir, That's My Baby ( Chapter 1 )

This story is number six in my Gundam Wing adventure series. The previous stories are, in chronological order: Gundam Wing and the Knights of the Round Table, Gundam Wing and the Quest for the Holy Grail, The Magicians of Gundam Wing, Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest and Gundam Wing and the Gods of Thunder. If you read this story without reading the others first, it might not make a lot of sense. But of course you, the reader, have total control!

Disclaimer: This is an original work of fiction, but the characters of Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Wu-Fei Chang, Trowa Barton, Quatre Reberba Winner, Zechs Merquise and Treize Kushranada are borrowed from Gundam Wing AC by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino and produced by Sunrise. Roku, on the other hand, is totally my creation and so is Alexa. Other Gundam Wing characters, like Sally Po and Lucretzia Noin, who might appear or be mentioned are also borrowed from Gundam Wing by Yatate-sama and Tomino-sama.

Warnings: This is a comedy, but you'll have to watch out for implied yaoi, not-so-implied yaoi, sexual innuendo, adult situations, occasional swearing, a general lack of respect for “decent” behavior and a noticeable tendency toward mayhem and destruction. I'm also not too interested in presenting an accurate representation of history or any known legends which might bear a faint resemblance to this story.

Random Thought for the Evening: “Ever notice how when a man gets hit in the balls, every man watching instinctively flinches? So I'm wondering: if a woman gets a sex change operation to become a man, will she develop the instinctive flinch response or will she have to learn it?”

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Chapter 1: Yes Sir, That's My Baby

The Gundam pilots were still unpacking from their trip when Sally appeared at the front door with Roku.

“Welcome home, guys!” she said cheerfully. “Although it seems odd to say it, since it's only been one night. Roku tells me you were gone for months.”

“Yes we were,” Trowa said. “We're almost done unpacking. Join us for breakfast. Treize and Zechs should be back in a little bit.”

“Did you have any interesting adventures?” Sally took a seat at the big kitchen table. “Roku's being kind of coy about it.”

“What? You mean he hasn't blurted everything out already?”

Roku stuck his tongue out.

Trowa patted him on the head. “We had a little excitement. We'll tell you about it over breakfast.”

Quatre came into the kitchen. “Hi, Sally.”

“Hi, Quatre.”

Sally's eyes sparkled. “So tell me: did Zechs have a boy or a girl?”

“Oh, didn't I mention it?” Quatre said innocently. “I made a female embryo. He had a little girl.”

“She's really cute,” Roku volunteered. “Her name is Alexa.”

“Alexa? That's pretty.” Sally grinned. “This is going to be interesting watching Zechs explain her to Noin.”

“You didn't tell her anything?” Trowa asked.

“Not a word. I'm just an observer here.”

Wu-Fei and Duo appeared looking slightly damp.

“Hey, Sally.”

“Hey guys.”

The front door opened and Heero, Treize, Zechs and Alexa entered. Alexa was holding Zechs' hand and looking around with wide eyes. Heero was carrying an electronic notepad.

“I've got all the info I need,” Heero announced. “I'll put Alexa in the system as soon as I get to work. Is breakfast ready?”

“We're just starting it.”

“I'll just grab some cereal then.” Heero got a bowl out of the cupboard. “I want to get the records updated before Noin can check them, which I assume she'll do as soon as she finds out.”

“Probably a safe assumption,” Sally agreed. She smiled at Alexa. “What a beautiful little girl!” She leaned over so she could greet Alexa at eye level. “How do you do, Alexa? My name is Sally Po. I'm a friend of the family.”

“I'm pleased to meet you, Miss Sally,” Alexa replied in a small voice, but she ducked partly behind Zechs as she spoke.

Zechs reached down and picked her up. “Alexa's feeling a little shy right now. This is all pretty new to her.”

“I can imagine.” Sally glanced at Quatre. “I thought you guys were only gone for months. Alexa looks six years old.”

“Her early growth was accelerated.”

“So it would seem.”

“Roku did the same thing.”

“I see.” Sally smiled at Alexa again. “But a six year old daughter might be easier to explain to Noin than a baby. Of course, she looks an awful lot like Zechs.” She studied Alexa's face. “But I can see Treize in her, too.” She grinned at the others. “You realize Noin will notice this.”

“Maybe she'll pretend not to,” Heero said with a shrug. “She probably won't want to think about the guy she's had the hots for all this time getting knocked up by another guy.”

“Treize did not knock me up,” Zechs said primly.

“Though it wasn't for lack of trying,” Duo snickered.

“You should talk,” Zechs sniffed. “How many women did you knock up in ancient England? Eight? Ten?”

“There's no proof of that!”

Heero finished his cereal. “I'm off. See you guys later.” He headed out the door.

“Mama, do I have to go to school today?”

“You should.”

“Can Alexa come too?”

“I think Alexa needs a little more home-schooling first,” Treize said.

“At the very least, we need to explain what she shouldn't talk about,” said Quatre. “It would hardly do for her to mention that she was born in Asgard and grew up in Frey's house.”

“That might lead to a few awkward questions,” Treize agreed.

Zechs nodded. “We should all go to work and school, just like normal. Since Treize doesn't have a job, he can stay home and raise our daughter.” He smiled sweetly at Treize. “She can start school with Roku in a few weeks.”

“So I'm a house-husband, am I?”

Zechs kissed him on the cheek.

“Mommy, can I have some of what Roku is eating?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Zechs put Alexa down and she trotted over to climb into a chair beside Roku.

Roku poured her a bowl of cereal.

“I'll make some hot food,” Duo volunteered. “How about egg, sausage and cheese scramble, with toast and fruit on the side?”

“Yummy!” Roku and Alexa chorused.

“All righty, then!” Duo got to work.

After breakfast, everyone got ready to go and Treize took Alexa home. Noin arrived at their door just moments after Treize left.

“Did Heero leave already?” Noin asked as they all crowded out the door.

“Yeah, he went in early,” Duo said.

“Is there a problem?”

“No, just something he wanted to do.”

Roku dashed off toward the school. “Bye, everybody!”

“Have a good day, sweetheart!”

“You never did tell me what happened on your trip,” Sally pointed out quietly as they walked to the train station. Noin was walking a few paces ahead of them with Wu-Fei and Duo

“Oh, nothing much,” Quatre lied airily.

“Yeah, hardly anything happened at all,” Trowa chuckled, “if you overlook destroying and re-creating the earth.”

Sally raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? I think I'd like to hear more about that.” She glanced at Zechs. “And about Zechs delivery too.”

Zechs flushed. “Maybe later.”

“I'll hold you to that.”

When they arrived at the train station, Noin stopped next to Zechs. “So, how are you and Treize getting along? Your cottage doesn't seem too crowded?”

“Not at all.”

“But there's only one bedroom,” Noin said pointedly. She frowned.

“Ah, well,” Zechs coughed delicately. “We don't mind sharing.”

“I should say not,” Duo whispered loudly. “With their limbs all tangled up together like that they don't really need much more than a twin bed.”

Zechs flushed and Noin's frown got darker.

“Maybe you should shut up, Duo,” Wu-Fei said.

The train arrived and they shuffled on board along with the other commuters.

Noin continued to frown at Zechs. “So, you and Treize really are an item, then?” she grumbled finally.

Zechs went for the gallant approach. “Noin, I recognize that we have been close for many years, but I must honestly tell you that I have harbored a truly deep affection for Treize for a long time. His companionship fulfills me.”

“I don't see why you never mentioned it,” Noin muttered darkly. “You must have known how I felt all these years.”

“Treize was dead,” Zechs responded simply. “I preferred not talking about him.”

“Yeah, about that…” Noin turned to Quatre. “We still don't have a good explanation for having a Treize look-alike on Mars. What are we going to do?”

“Well…” Quatre began thoughtfully.

“Geez, Quatre, what's to think about?” Duo said absently. “Why not have Roku do some big magic and just cast a spell on everyone? Make it so they can't recognize Treize even if they look right at him.”

Quatre stared at Duo in surprise. “I'll be damned! That's actually a good idea.”

“Say what?”

“I mean it, except I won't put the spell on everyone else. I'll put it on Treize. I can cast a spell that will keep people from realizing they recognize him.”

“But what about us?” Zechs asked anxiously. “Will we forget who he is?”

“It won't be a forgetting spell,” Quatre assured him. “It will just disrupt the association between Treize's face and his name. I'll make it a weak spell so it will only work on people who don't already know him well.”

“But doesn't that mean it wouldn't work on Une?” Trowa asked.

Quatre nodded. “I don't think I could cast a spell strong enough to keep Une from recognizing Treize. We just have to make sure she never sees him.”

“But that should be ok as long as Treize stays on Mars and no one here figures out who he is,” said Wu-Fei.

“Exactly.”

“Better make sure to tell Alexa not to mention her daddy's name to anyone,” Duo remarked.

Noin's eyes narrowed. “Who's Alexa?”

Duo clapped a hand over his mouth and everyone groaned.

“Alexa is Zechs' daughter,” Sally volunteered brightly. “And Treize is her father.”

“WHAT?!”

“She's adopted,” Quatre said hastily.

“That's right!” everyone agreed quickly. They all nodded and smiled with lots of teeth showing.

Noin wasn't buying it. “Adopted when?” She glared at Zechs. “You didn't mention anything to me about adopting a daughter. When did she arrive? Or was she born here? What happened to her parents?”

“Um… Um…” Zechs stuttered, his normally calm demeanor momentarily gone.

Sally leaned forward. “She's an adorable little six-year-old. She looks just like Zechs. They just brought her home last night.” She grinned at Zechs. “Isn't that right?”

Zechs paled. “Uh, yes, that's right. I didn't mention it before because… ah… there was a chance it might not work out. But it did and now she's living with me and Treize,” he finished quickly.

Noin crossed her arms and stared at him fixedly. “I look forward to meeting her. She looks just like you, eh?”

“Ah, yes.”

“So what did Sally mean that Treize is her father? Did he sire her before he died and you only recently located her?”

“Oh, well, you see…” Zechs began uncertainly, but then the train arrived at the main dome. “Oh look! Here's our stop!” He quickly fled the train.

“What just a damn minute!” Noin shouted. She darted after him.

“You like stirring up trouble, don't you Sally?” Wu-Fei remarked dryly.

“Who, me?”

“Look at that innocent face,” Wu-Fei commented to the others.

“Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth,” Trowa agreed.

Sally grinned broadly. “Noin's going to figure it out anyway the first time she sees Alexa. She looks too much like her parents to be anything other than their genetic offspring.”

“We shouldn't worry about it,” Duo said. “Alexa's such a sweet child she'll have Noin wrapped around her finger in no time, just like the rest of us.”

“That's true.”

“Let's get to work and see if Heero has her records in the system yet.”

In fact, Heero was all done entering her data into the system. “I made her birth certificate a backup copy from one of the destroyed colonies. That way no one will be surprised when they can't find any other information on her. They'll just assume all her other records were lost with the colony. I would've been done sooner, but I've had company.” He pointed under the desk.

A pair of bright green eyes twinkled at them from the shadows under the desk.

“A sprite!” Duo exclaimed. “I thought you told them to stay out of the office.”

“I did,” Heero grumbled sourly, “but apparently their sense of time passage is attached to individuals. They seem to know exactly how long I was gone and they… missed me.” He glared darkly at nothing.

“That's cute!”

“No it's not.”

The sprite peeked out from under the desk. “The Man with Many Faces was in a place we couldn't go.”

“I should have stayed.”

“Oh really?” Wu-Fei grinned. “What if Freya decided she wanted more kids?”

Heero paled. “I told you not to mention that name!”

The sprite came all the way out from under the desk. “Did the Man with Many Faces make a baby?”

“None of your business!”

“Yes he did.”

The sprite clapped its hands and disappeared.

Heero put a hand over his face. “Oh great! How much you wanna bet the little wretch has gone off to tell all his friends?”

“What harm can that do?” Wu-Fei shrugged. “It's not like they can find him. He isn't marked and he lives in Asgard, where they apparently can't go.”

“What if they tell Relena?” Heero growled. “You know they would think it was funny.”

“It is funny!” Duo chuckled. “Can you imagine her face?”

Heero glared at him.

Duo blinked innocently. “She would never hear it from me.”

“Yeah, right.”

When they returned home that evening, they found Treize and Alexa at their house playing with Roku. Treize was watching affectionately as Roku and Alexa engaged in their favorite game, which basically consisted of them rolling around on the floor until Roku, in tiger form, pinned Alexa to the ground and licked her face until she was soggy.

Zechs groaned. “Roku, are you trying to imitate Fenrir? She's dripping!”

Alexa giggled as she squirmed under Roku's furry belly. “It tickles!”

Roku hopped up and Alexa scrambled to her feet. She dashed to Zechs and flung her arms around his legs, smearing slobber from her face and hair all over his crisply pressed trousers. Zechs picked her up and kissed her cheek, despite the mess.

“How do you manage to look cute even drenched in tiger spit?”

Alexa hugged him tightly around the neck. “Because my mommy is pretty!” she chirped.

“She has that right,” Treize echoed.

Zechs favored him with a seductive smile.

Noin, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, watched this exchange with a frown that kept trying to turn into a smile. “I take it this is your daughter Alexa?”

“Yes.” Zechs turned toward Noin. “Alexa, I would like you to meet Lucretzia Noin. She's a very good friend of mine.”

Alexa bobbed her head. “How do you do, Miss Lucretzia?” She offered Noin a sweetly tentative smile.

Noin's frown faded all the way into a reluctant smile. “Call me Noin, Alexa. Everyone does. I'm pleased to meet you.” She studied Alexa's face for a moment and then her eyes moved first to Zechs' face and then to Treize's. “She looks like both of you,” she remarked casually.

“That's because they're my mommy and daddy,” Alexa piped up.

“Is that so?” Noin said. “Where were you born, Alexa?”

“In Asgard.”

Noin stared.

Everyone else remained conspicuously silent.

“It was right before Ragnarok, but I don't remember it. Uncle Duo says it's because they stuffed me in Roku's storage space so I wouldn't get hurt from all the lightning and the world breaking up and everything.”

Noin stared around the room. “Would anyone care to elaborate on that story?”

No one spoke up.

“I don't recall any colonies nicknamed Asgard,” Noin continued. “And I may be a simple soldier, but I'm pretty sure Ragnarok is an apocalypse legend.” She looked from face to face. “Well?”

Treize cleared his throat. “We, ah, did a bit of time traveling last night.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.” Treize cleared his throat again. “We spent a few months in Asgard where the Norse gods of old reside.”

“And Alexa was born there?”

“Well, you see…”

Noin fixed her eyes on Zechs. “Zechs Merquise, we've been friends a long time. Tell me to my face that you didn't give birth to that child.”

“You know I'm a man…”

“Fuck that! So is Quatre and I figured out a while ago he gave birth to Roku.” She tapped her foot impatiently. “I'm waiting.”

Zechs' shoulders slumped. “You're right. I did.”

“And Treize is her Father.” She lifted her eyebrows.

“Yes, but it didn't happen the way it does between a man and a woman.”

“It never has when it's two men doing it. I'm not that naïve.” She looked at Quatre. “I suppose you had something to do with this.”

Quatre hung his head. “It was a really interesting experiment.”

“Scientists!” Noin exclaimed. “Sheesh!” She threw her hands up in the air. “I give up. I'm going out to get laid. There's gotta be at least ONE man on this planet who likes doing it with a woman!” She stormed out.

Alexa blinked at Zechs in confusion. “What was Miss Noin talking about, Mommy?”

Zechs blushed. “She's just a little confused about you having a mommy who's a man, that's all.”

“Oh.” Alexa pursed her lips. “But Roku's Mama is a man, too. Why is it confusing?”

“Um, do you mind if I explain it to you when you're older?”

“I'll be older tomorrow.”

“I mean a lot older.”

Alexa's little brow wrinkled. “That's just what grownups say when they don't want to explain something.”

“That's right.” Zechs put her down. “So let's just say I'm too embarrassed to explain it right now.”

“Ok.” But Alexa didn't look convinced. She looked at Roku and he winked at her.

“I'll explain it to you later, Alexa,” Roku whispered.

“Try not to be too explicit,” Quatre murmured. “She is just a little girl.”

“I know.”

“Well, this has certainly been an interesting day!” Sally said brightly. “I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.”

“The day's still young!” Duo piped up. “There's plenty of time for us to cause more trouble. Why don't you stay for dinner? It sounds like Noin's going to be out for awhile.”

“I don't mind if I do.”

“If we're all eating here, we better raid the fridge in our cottage,” Treize said. “You might have enough food for Duo and Roku, but if Alexa's eating here too, there won't be enough for the rest of us.”

“Hey!”