Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing on Mount Olympus ❯ How Do We Explain This? ( Chapter 12 )

Chapter 12: How Do We Explain This?

“Say Wu-Fei, how are Hadeya's language lessons coming?” Trowa asked casually over lunch a few days later.

“Quite well. I think demigods must have a natural affinity for language. He's picking it up really fast. I think he should be able to hold his own in English and Japanese in another day or two. I started with those languages because they are simple compared to the linguistic beauty of my native Chinese.”

“You think English is simpler than Chinese?” Duo exclaimed, a little indignant.

“Well of course. You can speak English.”

“What?!”

“It is not that simple,” Hadeya said hurriedly. “I thought it was until Uncle Wu-Fei began explaining all the exceptions. There are certainly quite a few.”

“Yeah! See there?” Duo glared triumphantly at Wu-Fei.

Wu-Fei just grinned and shrugged.

“That means we could go home any time now,” Quatre said.

“We can, but have we figured out how we are going to explain who Hadeya is yet?” Heero asked with a frown. “He looks a lot like me.”

“I think he's a little cuter,” Duo grinned.

“Quit checking out my son, pervert.”

“I'm not checking him out; just making an observation.”

“He is kind of cute,” Trowa agreed.

“Stick to blonds,” Heero muttered.

“About this home you speak of,” Hadeya began a little nervously, “what is it like? Is it very different from Asgard and Olympus?”

“Yes, and from Midgard as well,” Zechs replied. “Our home is on Mars, which is one of the outer worlds.”

Hadeya blinked in surprise. “But the outer worlds are not suitable for life!”

“True, but we've been correcting that.”

“Correcting it?” Hadeya scratched his head. “Perhaps my grasp of English is not as good as Uncle Wu-Fei thinks. That seems a very odd way to phrase it.”

Zechs chuckled. “We are executing a process called terraforming, in which a planet's natural systems are modified to mimic those of Earth. It's a long, slow process and will take decades to complete.”

“But could not Roku perform the feat in a single moment?”

A dead silence fell. One by one, everyone turned to stare at the young tiger, who was contentedly tearing meat off of an undercooked mutton shank that he had pinned to the ground with his rather impressive front claws.

“Um, Roku,” Quatre said slowly, “could you terraform Mars?”

“Yeah, but I wouldn't play with Uncle Zechs' toys without his permission.”

“You think Mars is a toy?”

“Well, kind of.”

“Mars is a planet.”

Roku shrugged. “Toys don't have to be small. You let me play with a mobile suit and those aren't very small.”

“He has a point,” Treize noted. “But it does beg the question: should we short-circuit the whole process and let Roku make the planet suitable for human habitation in a single day?”

Zechs shook his head. “My preference would be not to because the terraforming process employs a lot of people. I wouldn't want to put them all out of work.”

“Besides,” Quatre added with a scowl, “we'd have to explain how it happened and I don't want a bunch of scientists sniffing around my son.”

“Or you?” Treize said with a smile.

“What about me?”

“I seem to recall that you recently invoked a storm that had even Zeus worried.”

“That's true,” Trowa said with an affectionate smile. “The difference between your abilities and Roku's seems mostly to be a question of scale.”

“Or intent,” Duo snickered. “Quatre's best magic seems to come out when he's pissed off.”

Quatre glared at him. “And yet you keep finding reasons to tick me off.”

“Not on purpose.”

“I wonder about that.”

“At any rate,” Zechs continued, “I think it would be better to let the terraforming plod along as it is. We already have Heero's sprites interfering with the process every now and then anyway.”

“They're not `my sprites'!”

“They follow you around.”

“They haven't followed me here!”

“They didn't follow you to Asgard either,” Trowa pointed out. “I suspect they prefer to avoid places where gods hang out.”

“Which means they will probably bug us a whole bunch once we get back to Mars,” Duo said. “Remember, they seem to be aware of how much time passes with us, not what time we're in.”

“But if the sprites don't like gods,” Roku spoke up, “will they still bother Papa Heero if Hadeya is there?”

Heero perked up. “Hey, that's an interesting thought.”

Athena and Apollo appeared, strolling across the grass toward the group.

“Good day, friends,” Athena greeted them. “How do you fare this fine day?”

“Quite well, thank you,” Quatre replied. “We were just discussing that it is about time for us to return home. We have learned a great deal during our time here, plus we had the good fortune to locate our kinsman.”

Athena nodded sagely. “I had thought that might be the case. For that reason, Apollo and I have come to invite you to a feast to be held this evening in your honor.”

“How kind of you!”

“Your visit has been a bright spot in an otherwise dull summer,” Apollo said. “The beauty and perfection of Olympus can get rather monotonous.”

“Indeed it can,” Athena agreed. “I should warn you, however, that Hermes and Bacchus are planning this feast, so I fear it might get a bit wild.”

“A wild feast hosted by Bacchus?” Duo exclaimed. “That's the stuff dreams are made of! When does it start?”

“At sunset,” Athena chuckled, “in the great meadow.”

“We are so there!”

At the appointed time, the Gundam pilots and their children arrived in the wide meadow in front of the great temple. Couches and low tables had been set up on the lawn. Brightly colored pennants fluttered from poles spaced between the couches with flaring torches at their tops. Entire sides of beef and mutton roasted on spits over open fires. Casks of wine stood open and waiting. Tables groaned under the weight of fresh bread, stewed fruits and berries in sweet cream.

Duo licked his lips and scratched Roku between the ears. “I think there might be enough food.”

Roku nodded. “It smells really good.”

“I'm hungry,” Alexa said.

“Welcome friends!” Zeus greeted them expansively. He approached them with his arms spread wide. “We wish to give you a send-off to remember with good food, good drink and good cheer.”

Treize bowed graciously. “We are deeply honored by your kindness and hospitality. Our visit has been extremely gratifying, as well as educational.”

“Come sit among the gods of Olympus!”

The group took seats with Athena, Apollo and Artemis all seated near by. Aphrodite rather pointedly seated herself some distance away, along with Ares.

“Aphrodite's still holding a grudge about the soaking Roku gave her, I think,” Zechs murmured.

“I did apologize,” Roku said.

“Well, I still think it was funny,” Hermes announced as he flopped down on a nearby couch with a goblet of wine in his hand. He grinned at Duo. “You're not drinking.” As he said it, several maidens appeared with goblets of wine for everyone except Roku and Alexa, who received a saucer and a mug of milk, respectively. “Enjoy!”

Duo downed his wine immediately. “Bring on the food! I'm ready to eat and the kids are hungry!”

“Yay!” Alexa and Roku shouted, bouncing up and down. “Food! Food!”

Zechs groaned. “Please try to show a little dignity, Alexa!”

“But I'm hungry!”

A plate full of mutton chops was set in front of them and they dove in immediately.

“Hey!” Duo shouted. “Save some for me!”

A platter of roasted chickens appeared and Duo was instantly sidetracked. “Chicken!” He grinned at Quatre. “Hopefully, this didn't used to be anyone. You haven't gotten pissed at anyone lately, have you?”

“Very funny!” Quatre growled. He reached for a mutton chop.

“Bacchus means to redeem himself tonight by drinking you under the table, Duo,” Hermes said. “He has never gotten over the humiliation of being out-drunk by a mortal.”

“Oh, really!” Duo grinned. “Maybe I'll do him a kindness and let him win, sort of as a thank you gift for planning this fine feast.”

Hermes saluted Duo with his goblet. “You are a true gentleman, sir!” He downed his wine in a single gulp and waved the empty goblet at a passing servant. “More wine!”

“If he keeps drinking like that,” Trowa remarked, “he'll end up underneath some horny god before midnight.”

“If he keeps drinking like that,” Quatre replied wryly, “I don't think he'll care.”

Zechs, watching Alexa devour mutton chops with savage glee, shook his head and sighed. “She eats like a tiger. How will I ever teach her to eat with proper ladylike manners?”

“She's young, my love,” Treize answered. “There's time enough for training in table manners.”

Alexa choose that moment to favor her parents with her sweetest, most charming smile, which somehow managed to look even cuter with grease stains on her cheeks.

Zechs melted. “She's so cute!”

“Just like her mother.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Do I need to flirt to win your affection?”

“No, but it tends to get me excited.” Zechs regarded Treize through the veil of his long silver bangs and parted his lips slightly. “When you say sweet things to me, it warms my heart so much that it makes me want to take off all my clothes.”

Treize drew in a deep breath. “Is that so?”

“Oh yes.” Zechs leaned forward and lowered his voice to a breathy whisper. “I begin to imagine your hands and lips on my body and I just start to lose control.”

Treize swallowed and his eyes went round. “Oh my!”

“Maybe you will want to get me alone later.”

“I want to get you alone right now!”

“This party is in our honor.”

“You enjoy driving me crazy, don't you?”

“Yes.” Zechs kissed Treize gently on the cheek. “Later on, I'll let you strip off all my clothes and ravish me until I pass out from the pleasure.”

“Oh god!”

Wu-Fei lifted an eyebrow. “If you ask me, Zechs is doing all the flirting.”

“He does seem to have Treize rather thoroughly wrapped around his little finger, doesn't he?” Trowa noted.

“I would have to agree.” Wu-Fei grinned at Trowa. “But then, I could say the same thing about you and another handsome blond.”

“I am not wrapped around his finger!” Trowa protested.

“Oh really?” Wu-Fei turned to Quatre. “Say, Quatre, Trowa was just saying that that pretty demigod over there reminds him of you. What do you think?” Wu-Fei pointed at a slender blond youth who was perched on Bacchus' knee.

Quatre glanced at the youth in question and frowned slightly. “There could be a slight resemblance, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Wu-Fei continued, nodding. “Trowa said his waist and hips, and even the shape of his thighs, closely resemble yours. He must have been staring at the fellow pretty hard to see that from here. And Trowa, didn't you also say you could see that his eyes were blue, as well?” Wu-Fei turned to Trowa with a bright, innocent smile.

Quatre fixed a stony glare on Trowa. “His thighs look like mine?”

“I never said that!”

“Oh?”

“I didn't! Wu-Fei's trying to get me in trouble!”

“Why would Wu-Fei do that?” Quatre's lower lip trembled slightly. “Anyway, it doesn't bother me if you want to look at other men.” But the slight quaver in his voice said otherwise.

“I wasn't looking at him! Wu-Fei made the whole thing up! I swear!”

“You don't have to lie to spare my feelings,” Quatre said, his blue eyes growing bright.

Trowa groaned. “Quatre…”

Wu-Fei put on a contrite face. “Don't blame him, Quatre. I was just teasing Trowa to prove a point. He never said any of those things.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Quatre blinked at Trowa uncertainly. Trowa moved next to him and put his arm around Quatre's waist. “You know you're the only one I have eyes for, right?”

“Well…”

“I'll prove it to you later.”

“Ok.” Quatre's wounded look turned to a stunning smile.

Wu-Fei tipped his head to one side and blinked questioningly at Trowa.

“Oh all right!” Trowa snapped. “You're right! I'm wrapped around his finger. Satisfied?”

“Yes,” Wu-Fei grinned.

Hadeya watched these two exchanges with a curious expression. Then he turned to Heero. “Father, I gather that romantic involvements are the basis of your friends' companionship, but is that also true for you? Is one of these gentlemen your close companion?”

Heero flushed. “Well…”

Duo flung an arm around Heero's shoulders. “Of course, but you must realize that your father is much too manly to be satisfied with just one partner.” He planted a wet kiss on Heero's cheek. “Wu-Fei and I have the honor of fulfilling his needs.”

“Do you need to be so graphic?” Heero grumbled. He shoved Duo away. “And so clingy?”

“You usually like it when I cling,” Duo chuckled. “Or would you like me to cling to something else?”

“Duo!”

Hadeya's cheeks turned pink. “Have none of you an interest in womanly companionship?”

“Well now,” Duo drawled, “sex is sex no matter who your partner is so I think it's better to keep your mind open and not limit yourself to strict gender roles. Otherwise you might find yourself stuck in a situation where your only option is yourself. Of course, should that happen, it's better to relieve the tension yourself than let it build up. That's not healthy.”

Hadeya blinked several times as his cheeks got redder.

“You're embarrassing him again,” Heero growled. “Just because you'll fuck anything that slows down long enough for you to climb on doesn't mean that's how everyone lives.”

“The world would be a happier place if they did.”

“I think I might have to agree with that,” Treize spoke up abruptly. “Sexual frustration sublimates into all kinds of unpleasant social behaviors, I've found.”

“That's true,” Wu-Fei nodded absently. “Look how close Noin came to chopping Zechs into little bits when she found out he was pining for Treize instead of jumping her.”

“Noin wanted to chop me into little bits?”

“She was a little pissed at you.”

“I didn't lead her on.”

“She acknowledged that, but felt it would not have dishonored Treize's memory any if you'd banged her a few times, for friendship's sake.”

Zechs stared in surprise. When no one else looked particularly surprised, he bit his lip. “Am I that dense? Did everyone but me realize she was that upset?”

There was an exchange of glances, followed by nods all around. “Pretty much.”

Zechs hung his head. “I feel terrible. I will have to apologize to her as soon as we return.”

“I think it would be better to let it go,” Quatre said wisely. “You had Treize's baby. I think Noin might prefer not to discuss what feelings she might have had for you at this point.”

“Perhaps you're right.”

“DUO!” Bacchus roared suddenly. “Come here, my friend! I've a hogshead of wine at my elbow that I'll wager I can drink faster than you can down its twin!”

“And what do you plan to wager, my rotund friend?” Duo shouted back as he jumped to his feet.

“I've a fat purse here of the finest gold coins minted on Minos that I'll put up against anything you have to offer!”

“Roku, toss me that bag of rubies I gave you.”

Roku stuck his rather greasy nose under his right foreleg and pulled out a plump leather pouch. With a flick of his head, he tossed it to Duo.

“Thank you, my boy!” Duo bounced the bag on his palm. “I have here about twenty large rubies of the very best quality, already cut and polished.”

Bacchus' eyes gleamed. “It's a wager, then!” Bacchus dropped his purse into the lap of the blond youth still sitting on his knee. “Thetus here will hold the wagers.”

Duo marched over and dumped his pouch into Thetus' lap. “Right! Who will call the start?”

“I will!” Hermes cried. “And I'll put a few coins on Duo myself, if someone cares to offer me appropriate odds.” He winked at Duo as he spoke.

“What?!” Bacchus cried. “And bet against the god of revelry? You young whelp!” Bacchus scooped up his hogshead. “Get ready, Duo!”

Duo lifted his hogshead as well.

Hermes raised his hands. “Does anyone else care to put forth a wager? A mere mortal against Bacchus himself?” Several gods and demigods immediately pushed forward, offering heavy odds in favor of Bacchus. When all the wagers were made, Hermes waved his hands above his head. “Enough! Get ready, gentlemen!” The two drinkers positioned their hogsheads of wine at their lips. Hermes paused a moment for affect and then shouted, “Drink!”

Bacchus and Duo immediately tipped up their barrels. Wine washed down the sides of their faces as they gulped the red liquid as fast as they could.

“Is Duo breathing?” Quatre wondered idly.

“Doesn't look like it,” Trowa replied.

“That just interferes with the drinking,” Wu-Fei smirked.

Duo slammed his hogshead down just seconds ahead of Bacchus with a loud cry. “Done!”

Bacchus stared, horrified. “Not again! How can I lose to a mortal again?!”

Hermes was laughing wickedly. “Pay up, one and all! Settle your debts before more drink makes you conveniently forget them.”

While Hermes collected the money, Duo plopped down beside Bacchus. “Don't fret about it, my friend. Some men are just born to greatness.”

This statement elicited howls of mirth from the other Gundam pilots.

“Shut up!” Duo turned his attention back to Bacchus. “Ignore them. Let's celebrate how great we are with a little more wine.”

Bacchus clapped Duo on the back. “I knew you were a good fellow. Have a drink!” He offered Duo a goblet of wine.

“Don't mind if I do.” Duo accepted the goblet and the two settled down to do some serious drinking.

But now the party really started to liven up. Drinking, eating, gambling and flirting became the order of the day, with a healthy dose of dancing and wrestling thrown in.

“This is going to turn into a full-scale orgy,” Artemis sniffed in annoyance. “I shall have to escort my maidens back to the temple soon.”

“Oh, let them have a little fun,” Apollo exclaimed. “Do you want them to turn into crabby spinsters like you?”

“Crabby spinster?!”

Apollo grinned wickedly as everyone who had heard his statement tried to hide smiles.

“Don't let him tease you,” Athena said quickly. “Why don't you dance for us?”

“Hmph!” Artemis lifted her chin haughtily, but she beckoned to her maidens and moved into an open space to lead the dance.

Zechs glanced at Alexa, who was still eating steadily. “Do you suppose we should send her back to the room? If an orgy starts…”

“If it does, Roku will take her back,” Treize said. “He always knows sooner than the rest of us when such things are about to occur.”

“True.”

Sometime later, Wu-Fei sat up straight and stared over at Duo and Bacchus. “Hey! It looks like Duo's passed out.”

“That seems unlikely,” Heero remarked. He glanced over to where Duo was sprawled on his back, apparently asleep. “He's faking.”

“You think?”

“Yeah.”

And in fact, when Bacchus slumped onto his side and began to snore moments later, Duo hopped to his feet.

“See?” Heero shrugged. “Told you he was faking.”

Duo trotted back to the group. “Time for bed!” he called cheerfully.

“Why did you pretend to pass out?” Wu-Fei asked curiously.

“I just wanted to make Bacchus feel better by letting him think he held out longer than I did.” Duo rubbed his hands together and eyed the two pilots lustfully. “Say Hadeya, why don't you bunk in with Roku and Alexa so I can get kinky with your dad and Wu-Fei?”

“If they don't mind…” Hadeya began uncertainly.

“You can take a bath with us,” Roku said. “We'll teach you to play mobile suit attack.”

“Try not to drown him,” Quatre cautioned.

“What is mobile suit attack?” Hadeya asked worriedly.

“It's fun!” Roku said brightly. “Trust me!”

“Oh god!” Quatre moaned. “He sounded just like Duo!”