Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing : Shinigami ❯ 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Gundam Wing: Shinigami
Part 5: Heero and Trowa return! An exciting dinner at the Winner Mansion!
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A week after the hospital incident, Heero and Trowa were released. Relena came by in that dinky pink limo of hers to pick them up and take them back to the Winner Mansion. When they got to the front doors of the mansion, however...

Heero: *looks at Trowa* You open to door.
Trowa: *looks back at Heero* No, you open the door.
Heero: Oh no, Trowa, I insist you open the door.
Trowa: Oh Heero, I couldn't possibly open the door...
Relena: *annoyed at the two of them* OH PLEASE! *opens the door*

All three of them look in the house to make sure Duo wasn't around. They stop talking, but they don't hear the normally talkative Duo chatting away.

Heero: Is it safe?
Trowa: I'm not sure...
Relena: Oh please! Duo isn't anywhere in here!

Meanwhile, upstairs, Duo is sitting in a dark corner, looking down at the group and having a mental conversation with "Solo"...

Duo: They're home...
"Solo": Now we can start Operation: Destroy Gundam Pilots!
Duo: *stomach growls* Uh...can we do that after I eat?
"Solo": *smacks Duo upside the head* We're starting it today! Not tomorrow, TODAY!
Duo: I knew that....*rubs the back of his head*

Back downstairs where two drugged Gundam pilots and an exasperated Relena Peacecraft are at...

Heero: Where are Wufei and Quatre?
Trowa: Maybe...it got them...
Heero: It probably did...
Trowa: It probably got hungry and ate their dead bodies...
Heero: That is, after it ate all the food in the house...
Relena: *starting to turn slightly green* Who is this it?
Trowa: It has a long braid...
Heero: It has bluish eyes...and...
Trowa: ...it's name is Duo Maxwell...
Relena: *sweatdrops and thinks* Why did I even ask?

Just then, our favorite blonde Arabian comes in from being in the sun all afternoon to greet his fellow pilots and the former 'Queen of the World'...

Quatre: Hi guys! What's up?
Trowa and Heero: ZOMBIE! *hug each other in fear*
Quatre: Huh?! X.x
Relena: They're still high off of the hospital stuff.
Heero: *looks at Relena with big puppy eyes* So...it didn't get Quatre?
Relena: *sighs* No, Heero, Duo didn't get him or Wufei...
Heero: Are you sure? He looks all pale and dead to me...
Quatre: *sweatdrops* I'M NOT DEAD! And besides, I'm sunburnt!!!
Trowa: This coming from a dead guy that thinks he's not dead because he can move a little...
Quatre: *a question mark in a thought bubble appears behind him* Ehh??
Relena: *sweatdrops and sighs* Just ignore them...so, how has Duo been?
Heero and Trowa: DO NOT CALL IT BY IT'S NAME!
Relena: *annoyed again* For crying outloud! SHUT THE HELL UP!
Quatre: *also sweatdropping* Uhh...Duo's been acting kinda normal lately. He's been eating, hyper, and still looks at his favorite porn magazines every now and then, but I haven't seen him around today.
Trowa: Because he's waiting for the right time to strike, and when he does, KABOOM! We're all dead!
Quatre: ... oook....
Heero: *looks at the pretty grandfather's clock and then at Trowa* It's Sailormoon Time!
Trowa: Yay!!

The pilots of Wing Zero and Heavyarms run off into the living room with the big screen TV, singing the *American* version of the Sailormoon theme song...

Together: Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight...never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailormoon!
Relena and Quatre: *sweatdrop and faint anime style* ...

Soon enough, it's dinner time, and all of the Gundam pilots plus Relena are at the table.

Heero: Why do I have to sit next to it?
Duo: *in a monotone Heero-ish voice* I'm not an it...
Heero: Ok...the thing...
Duo: *in the same tone* I'm not a thing, either...
Trowa: Then what the hell do we call you, it?
Duo: *same tone once more* Either Duo or Shinigami...
Heero: We'll think about it, it.
Duo: *same tone but more pissed* MY NAME IS DUO...NOT IT...DUO...*starts to calm down*
Heero and Trowa: *sweatdrop* Uh...ok it...

Duo jumps over the table and starts kicking the crap out of both of them...

Duo: I have to go to the bathroom...I'll be back to finish the job...
Everyone: Ok...

Duo leaves the room to go to the bathroom. From under the table, two seriously beaten up g-boys manage to groan...

Heero: Is it gone?
Trowa: I think it is gone...

In the bathroom, Duo was having a little...'conversation' with "Solo"... (The hallucination...not what you ecchis are thinking! :P)

Duo: I can't do it, Solo!
"Solo": Of COURSE you can, Duo! You MUST! It's simple

Wufei passes by that bathroom at the same time and hears Duo...

Wufei: What the hell, Maxwell? It's not that hard to take a shit...just do it!
Duo: *inside the bathroom, still talking to "Solo"* It's too hard...can't I do it later?
Wufei: *confused* Uh...Maxwell, I suppose you could do it later. And how hard is it for you to take a shit? You sit, and that's it!
Duo: What the hell are you talking about, Wufei?
Wufei: *sweatdrops* Nevermind, Maxwell...that ZERO system messed you up more than we previously thought...*walks away*
Duo: *sighs* He's gone, now...what were we talking about, Solo? Oh yeah!

At that moment, Quatre knocks on the door...

Quatre: Duo? Are you ok? Could you hurry up? I really need to go!
Duo: *inside the bathroom* But Solo! I just can't do it! He's my friend!
Quatre: *eyes widen* .... What?
Duo: He's my best friend! I just CAN'T do it to him!
Quatre: *pales, then turns a little green...* Nevermind, I'll use another bathroom....*walks off*
Duo: Eh? What the hell is Quatre and Wu-man's problem? Oh no...they think I'm talking to...GROSS! *pukes*

Meanwhile, back at the dinner table...

Wufei: Did you hear Maxwell, Winner? He's messed up. He can't take a shit!
Quatre: I don't think that's all that's wrong with him...
Wufei: Eh? You DID hear him, right?
Quatre: Yeah...I wish I hadn't, though.
Relena: What in the world are you two talking about?
Heero: See! I told you! He's going to kill us all!
Trowa: Yeah! Kaboom! We're all dead!
Relena: *whacks Trowa and Heero with a rolling pin* Stop THAT! Duo is NOT going to kill you! Do you understand?
Heero: That's what he WANTS you to think..
Trowa: Then, when we're sleeping safely in our beds...KABOOM!
Wufei: What the hell did they give you guys in that hospital?
Heero: This clear stuff in a syringe...
Trowa: And they poked us in the ass with the syringe, then...we became all happy and stuff...
Relena: Something like a hallcinogen, Wufei...
Wufei: Wonderful, they gave Barton and Yuy crack. Now we have THREE high Gundam pilots! INJUSTICE!!!!
Everyone else: ...

Duo comes back from this exciting trip to the bathroom.

Duo: *normal, happy self* Hi guys! I'm back!
Heero and Trowa: AHHHH! IT! *dive under the table*
Duo: ...What's their problem?
Everyone: YOU!
Duo: Me? What did *I* do?

Everyone explains to Duo everything that he did while high on the ZERO system. Duo, of course doesn't believe it at all.

Duo: I wanted Relena? Please! I'm engaged to Hilde! And I beat the shit out of the Ice Boy from Hell and Mr. Silence himself? HAHAHAHAHAHA...
Relena: Yep, believe it or not.
Duo: Pfft...no way in Hell. Heero, come on out here and punch me in the gut!
Heero: *sticks his head out from under the table* No! You'll hurt me! MOMMY! *dives head back under the table...*
Everyone else: ...
Wufei: That's it...YUY! BARTON! Both of you are pathetic onnas!

The named Gundam pilots stick their heads out from under the table...

Trowa: What?
Heero: You...
Trowa: Called..
Heero: Us...
Together: ONNAS!? Now you die!

Both of them beat the crap out of Wufei. When they finished, they decided to watch a tape of Sailormoon. (The horrible DiC dub, of course...) Wufei was lying on the ground, bloody and bruised. Duo smirked at the sight.

Duo: *thinking* That takes care of Wufei. Now all I have left to get rid of is Quatre, and then Relena-chan is MINE!
"Solo": Yes, Duo. Excellent plan...now, let's get to work on Operation: Kill Quatre...
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A-hah! You thought it was the end, didn't you? :P And yes, I *know* Heero and Trowa are very out of character, so please don't flame me about that, ok? There's only one more part, and then the madness will end. So yes..this is yet ANOTHER cliffhanger! Mwahahahaha! I love being evil! *backs up as the angry mobs start surrounding her yet again..* Hehe...bye bye! *runs like hell*
-ChibiChibi
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Preview of Gundam Wing: Shinigami Part 6! (A teaser, hehe...)
Wufei: *in the hospital* I thought Maxwell was ok...
Heero: Who's Maxwell?
Wufei: *groans* He's still high off of that hospital shit?
Relena: Yeah...
Trowa: Yeah! I wanna be just like Sailormoon!
Heero: No, I wanna be just like Sailormoon!
Quatre: When will this nightmare be over?
Wufei: Kami-sama only knows...

That's all for now... hehe....