Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ He's Happy Now ❯ He's Happy Now ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: GarnetFire 
Angsty ficlet. Suprise POV and pairings. Shonen ai
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.01.2001 | Updated On: 09.01.2001 | Pages: 1 | Words: 770 | Visits: 652 | Status: Completed
Angsty ficlet. Suprise POV and pairings. Shonen ai
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.01.2001 | Updated On: 09.01.2001 | Pages: 1 | Words: 770 | Visits: 652 | Status: Completed
Title: He's Happy Now
Author: Garnet Fire
Archive: Joygasm (www.heavenlycreature.net) Anyone else, just ask
E-Mail: Garnet1@optonline.net
Pairings: ?+?, ?+3
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: After the war, I guess
Warnings: shonen ai, mild angst, surprise POV
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I claim to. It is the copyrighted creation of Sunrise, Sotsu, and Bandai. I am writing this for entertainment purposes only. Please don't sue me.
Comments: Geeze it's been a long time since I've written anything. Two, three months maybe. Inspiration for this just hit. It is unbetaed, mainly because I don't have a beta reader at the moment. It's just a mildly angsty little ficlet.
********
He's happy now, I can see it in his eyes. They're no longer cold, no longer haunted by all he has seen. No, now they radiate happiness as he holds his lover close. It's as if being with Quatre can erase all the pain he has ever experienced, like I know he could do for me.
He's happy now; he doesn't need me. He has the one he wants at his side. It's better to just let go. He doesn't want me, doesn't need me. It's not as if he was ever mine at all. I lusted after him in my heart, but tried not to show it. Maybe it would have been better if I let him know. Then maybe I wouldn't be sitting here wondering what could have been. Maybe being rejected would have been better than not knowing how he felt.
No, he's happy now, and I don't want to mess it up for him. This is his chance for a better life. He can have anything he desires. What can I offer him? Nothing. I don't even know what I'm going to do myself. I've lost everything I've ever known. I have no money, no home, nothing to go back to. I lost it all in the war. Now I'm going to lose him, too. Maybe I should be used to it by now. I'm not.
He's happy now. It should be some sort of consolation. If I'm not happy, at least he should be. It's no consolation, though. Even though he's happy, seeing them together still stings. I've lost people I've loved before, to the foe known as death, the foe I cannot defeat, but it never hurt as much as this. This time I could avenge my loss with one quick bullet, but that would not be right.
He's happy now. How could I deny him happiness? He deserves this. He's been through more than me. To put him through more would be wrong. The anger boils up inside of me as I watch them, but I easily set it down. I shouldn't be angry, I shouldn't still be lusting after him. I should have more control than that. I shouldn't be this weak, but he has that effect on me. That's why I love him, because seeing him stirs me, makes me feel like a person again, instead of a lump of emotionless flesh. That's why seeing him do the same for Quatre hurts.
He's happy now. I should be happy for him. He has found what he needs in life. I can't be happy for him, no matter how much I try, because what needs in life isn't me. I wasn't this selfish, this bitter, before war took all I had, before it took everything from me. It took everything from his as well, but he has found happiness again. I have tried, but I can't do the same. Maybe I'm going about it wrong. Maybe it's because I'm still stuck on the past. Maybe it's because he's strong and I am weak, but he is happy now, and it seems that I will never be.
He's happy now, and it is true happiness. He no longer has to mask his emotions to protect the rest of us. It never worked anyway. I could see straight through that smile. His eyes always gave him away. They were always the same, cold and haunted. They say the eyes are the window to the human soul. If that's true then, his soul has healed. He has managed to put it all behind him push away the screams of innocent causalities of war, managed to forget all that he has done wrong and focus on what he has done right. He has managed to save the world, himself and Quatre. Now who's going to save me?
He's happy now. Happy, beautiful, carefree. He is happy now, and that's something I will never be.
~owari~
Author: Garnet Fire
Archive: Joygasm (www.heavenlycreature.net) Anyone else, just ask
E-Mail: Garnet1@optonline.net
Pairings: ?+?, ?+3
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: After the war, I guess
Warnings: shonen ai, mild angst, surprise POV
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I claim to. It is the copyrighted creation of Sunrise, Sotsu, and Bandai. I am writing this for entertainment purposes only. Please don't sue me.
Comments: Geeze it's been a long time since I've written anything. Two, three months maybe. Inspiration for this just hit. It is unbetaed, mainly because I don't have a beta reader at the moment. It's just a mildly angsty little ficlet.
********
He's happy now, I can see it in his eyes. They're no longer cold, no longer haunted by all he has seen. No, now they radiate happiness as he holds his lover close. It's as if being with Quatre can erase all the pain he has ever experienced, like I know he could do for me.
He's happy now; he doesn't need me. He has the one he wants at his side. It's better to just let go. He doesn't want me, doesn't need me. It's not as if he was ever mine at all. I lusted after him in my heart, but tried not to show it. Maybe it would have been better if I let him know. Then maybe I wouldn't be sitting here wondering what could have been. Maybe being rejected would have been better than not knowing how he felt.
No, he's happy now, and I don't want to mess it up for him. This is his chance for a better life. He can have anything he desires. What can I offer him? Nothing. I don't even know what I'm going to do myself. I've lost everything I've ever known. I have no money, no home, nothing to go back to. I lost it all in the war. Now I'm going to lose him, too. Maybe I should be used to it by now. I'm not.
He's happy now. It should be some sort of consolation. If I'm not happy, at least he should be. It's no consolation, though. Even though he's happy, seeing them together still stings. I've lost people I've loved before, to the foe known as death, the foe I cannot defeat, but it never hurt as much as this. This time I could avenge my loss with one quick bullet, but that would not be right.
He's happy now. How could I deny him happiness? He deserves this. He's been through more than me. To put him through more would be wrong. The anger boils up inside of me as I watch them, but I easily set it down. I shouldn't be angry, I shouldn't still be lusting after him. I should have more control than that. I shouldn't be this weak, but he has that effect on me. That's why I love him, because seeing him stirs me, makes me feel like a person again, instead of a lump of emotionless flesh. That's why seeing him do the same for Quatre hurts.
He's happy now. I should be happy for him. He has found what he needs in life. I can't be happy for him, no matter how much I try, because what needs in life isn't me. I wasn't this selfish, this bitter, before war took all I had, before it took everything from me. It took everything from his as well, but he has found happiness again. I have tried, but I can't do the same. Maybe I'm going about it wrong. Maybe it's because I'm still stuck on the past. Maybe it's because he's strong and I am weak, but he is happy now, and it seems that I will never be.
He's happy now, and it is true happiness. He no longer has to mask his emotions to protect the rest of us. It never worked anyway. I could see straight through that smile. His eyes always gave him away. They were always the same, cold and haunted. They say the eyes are the window to the human soul. If that's true then, his soul has healed. He has managed to put it all behind him push away the screams of innocent causalities of war, managed to forget all that he has done wrong and focus on what he has done right. He has managed to save the world, himself and Quatre. Now who's going to save me?
He's happy now. Happy, beautiful, carefree. He is happy now, and that's something I will never be.
~owari~