Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ HeartBreak Lullaby ❯ Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own the song or Gundam Wing, sadly. And it's a TrowaXOC so…heh. Anywayz, read it, I think it sucks.

"Cass, why would you do this?" Duo looked at her wrists, which were cut so badly; it looked like her tender arm was put in a blender. Quatre was next to him, looking at her with sorrow and pain in his blue eyes. Those blue eyes had been her best friends for a few years.

"You would not understand, no one would." Cass ripped her arm from her brother's grip and crossed them. She was thinning, her skin was pale, and made even paler by the dark make-up she wore again. She had gotten over the dark make-up long ago, and both Quatre and Duo knew it had to be bad if she was back to her old habits.

"We won't know unless you tell us!" Quatre's voice was shaky but stable

"You're never going to get her to answer like that." A voice came from the corner of the room, where Heero stood watching them. "She's in a depression." Cass's cobalt eyes showed the hurt that he spoke about, the sadness she long ago left behind her.

Heartbreak lullaby...
In the still of the night,
I can almost feel you lying next to me,
Like it used to be,
And its hard to let go

"A depression but.." Duo sighed and closed his eyes, hiding his feelings. Thinking back, he wondered what caused this sudden depression. The deathrow call on their mother? No, that made her rather relieved. The fight they had the other day? No, that was too recent. What was it then?

"I'm going into my bedroom to write." Cass stood up and started towards the stairs when Duo's hand grabbed her still-bleeding wrist, causing her to flinch.

"Why are you so depressed, Cass? What's wrong, please, I can't stand seeing you like this." His voice was so melancholy, and the tension in her arm left. Cass walked back over to him and knelt next to him.

"I don't know, but I'm…I'm afraid. Afraid that I might go too far." Her voice was softer than normal, and as she start to shake, Duo took her into his arms. He knew that she was afraid, and so was he. He also knew that since he was the older one, he had to find out what was causing her to be like this.

When there's always something there reminding me,
How things could be,
I've tried to get you off my mind,
I've tried to play my part,
But everytime I close my eyes,
You're still inside my heart

Heero left an hour later since he had work to do concerning the safety of Relena, but Quatre stayed for a while. Duo had offered to call Trowa to see if he could help but the answer he got from Cass was a strict no. Medley knew what was going on, so she tried her hardest to stay by her master no matter what was going on. The only time that she moved was when Trowa came to the door after Cass had fallen asleep on Quatre's shoulder. Even though Cass had told Duo not to call him, he did once she fell asleep.

"Duo, what's wrong?" Trowa came into the small living room covered in the soft snow. "You sounded pretty upset on the phone."

"Well, I was." Duo sighed and closed his eyes, his forehead in his hands. "Do you know what Cassidy has been doing for the past two weeks?" Trowa shot a glance at Cass, who had her hands woven in her sweater sleeves, hiding her secret.

"N-no." The only time Duo used her full name was when it was something serious. "What has she been doing?"

"I figured as much. Well, one thing is she went back to her dark make-up and another is she keeps to herself me. But the thing that's worrying me is that she…"

[An hour later, Cass in her room, staring at the ceiling]

I just had to leave the knife in the sink without washing it off didn't I? Now that Trowa knows, ah hell, I might as well die. Cass flipped on the radio, and the song that was playing the night after her love left her was on and she chewed on her lower lip.

Why can't I laugh?
Why must I cry?
Everytime we say good-bye,
Why does it rain,
Here in my heart

Aright, this song just has to be on doesn't it? I mean, its like my life is going insane on this night. None of this would have happened if I hadn't left the knife out. If I hadn't asked Trowa if he loved me. Oh only if I hadn't asked him that question.. Cass was too lost in thought to notice that Trowa had come into her room and was standing against the wall.

What did I do to deserve this? Is it because I agreed to deathrow for Mother? That I fought with my brother? What did I do to deserve this? I really don't know, give me some answers, please! I don't know how much more I can take of being in the dark. Soft sobbing shook her shoulders as she closed her eyes. At this point, Trowa walked over and knelt in front of her. His green eyes showed the hurt as she cried.

Everyday that we're apart,
Why can't it be,
Just you and me,
What will it take to make you see,
These are the words,
To my Heartbreak Lullaby

"Cass, why are you doing this?" Trowa finally spoke and Cass jumped up, just now noticing him.

"I-I don't k-know." She made an attempt to stop crying but failed and covered her face with her shaking hands. "I don't know." Trowa looked at her then sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him.

"This is my fault, I knew that I should have never left you like I did." Trowa pulled her into his lap, rocking her slightly. "Shhh. I won't do anything like this again." He closed his eyes as he noticed at how thin her figure was, how fragile this once health and beautiful girl was becoming. It pained him to see the one he loved like this.

His fingers ran over the cuts on her wrist and felt slight warmth on one of them as she flinched. Another cut. This one wasn't going along the vein but acrossed it; he heaved a sigh of relief. The sobbing girl was shaking against his chest as he sat back against the headboard of her bed.

Like the stars in the sky,
You still keep on shining down you're light on me,
But out of reach,
And I know that in time,
You will come back to your senses,

"I won't make the same mistake twice. I promise you that Cass." He looked down at the sleeping girl and smiled. All the black and dark red makeup she had on was washed away. Her true beauty was visible, and a little shown on her like something not every person had. She had innocence.