Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Helping Hands ❯ Part 8 ( Chapter 8 )

Okay, here's the next part. I don't own them and Heero may be a little OOC. Enjoy and please review!

 

 

Helping Hands part 8


The next morning, Heero got out of bed, went into the bathroom for his usual morning routine, and then went downstairs to the kitchen to get himself some breakfast. He had gotten up at the same time he always did when he didn't have a mission, even though he had tossed and turned most of the night. He couldn't stop thinking about the dream.

He knew about the mechanics of sex, of course, but he had no first hand experience, so he had nothing to compare the dream to. Questions kept running through his mind as he ate, cleaned the dishes, and made his way up the stairs and into one of the empty bedrooms to begin searching for the journal again.

He moved around the room, testing the solidity of the floor and walls, before turning his attention to the furnishings. As he worked, he began to voice his thoughts aloud, as was his habit when he was alone and unlikely to be disturbed.

"I can't believe how good everything felt. How good Duo felt. Does it always feel that good? Does the real thing feel the same, better, or maybe, not as good? That was just a blowjob, what does it feel like to actually have sex? To be inside someone...or have him inside you?

Hn. Who am I trying to fool. Not "someone". Duo. He wanted to touch me, taste me. That was far more than just a blowjob and he really seemed to enjoy it, enjoy being with me that way. I wonder what he tastes like...if I could make him feel the way I felt when he took me into his mouth. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to find out.

The look on his face the other day, when he was teasing me. I think...I think it might have been desire. His expression in the dream was similar when he told me that he wanted to touch me. Does that mean he wants me? Really wants me, the same way that I want him? But...I want more than his body, I want his heart and mind, too. I love him, all of him.

I love the way he can have a serious philosophical debate while playing chess with an old man in the park and then, an hour later, be chasing pigeons with a bunch of six year olds and causing more trouble than all of the kids put together. He takes great joy in life, can find humor in any situation, no matter how grim, and, Kami only knows how, he shows others how to enjoy life, too, whether they want to or not. He's like a campfire on a cold, dark night. Everyone gathers around him to bask in his warmth and light. And yet, he calls himself Shinigami, the God of Death, and lives up to the name when he is on a mission.

Hn. Listen to me. He's the only one who could ever get me babbling like this. I do love him, but could he ever love me? I never expected to fall in love, with anyone, and I doubt anyone would believe it has happened. That's part of the problem, actually. But, being around Duo so much, being partners the way that we are, how could I not fall in love with him? I never really thought it could be possible for anything to come of my feelings for him, but, after that dream last night, I just don't know. It was my dream, but somehow, I think he should know about it, know what happened between us. There's no way he could know, but something tells me he does.

I don't understand this, especially since I...I don't feel so empty today. It's like Duo gave me a part of himself while I was dreaming. Not much, but enough to fill up some of the void. If a dream of him can do so much, then I was right about him being the one I need. He can teach me how to feel, how to live. He can set me free, show me how to become someone other than the cold, impassive Perfect Soldier that is all anyone ever sees. But will he? He has so much power over me and he doesn't even know it. He can't help me if he doesn't know, but I can't just tell him. Maybe I could...no. No, I won't do anything. After all, I don't really know that he feels anything for me. I could just be imagining things because I want so badly for it to be true. The dream was just that, a dream, so there is no way that Duo could possibly know about it, but..."

Heero finally fell silent, although it was obvious that his mind was still going around in circles. He completed his search of the room and departed for the next room on his list, still deep in thought, leaving behind a very pleased ghost. Katherine had already been in the room when he had entered and begun his search, so she had heard his entire monologue. She had learned a great deal about all five pilots through Heero's dreams, so his reaction to what had happened came as no surprise to her and fit in perfectly with her plan. Heero's personality was very analytical, and Duo was as sensual as Heero was analytical.

Katherine fully expected Heero to be the one to eventually figure out that Duo had shared the dream with him and that she was responsible. She also knew that Duo wouldn't care about how or why, he would be too busy concentrating on his and Heero's actions in the dream and the implications of those actions. The two boys complimented each other perfectly, much like it had been between her and Benjamin. She missed him so very much, but she had hope now, thanks to Heero and Duo, that she would be reunited with him someday.

Katherine smirked suddenly. Thinking of being united with Benjamin reminded her that Heero planned to search her bedroom sometime today. She could hardly wait to see Heero's reaction when he found a certain item that was hidden in that room.

tbc...