Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Hold Me ❯ Hold me ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: BrokenDragon85 
A short fic where Duo is depressed and longs for Heero. He finally takes action- by accident. How will Heero react?
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 11.03.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 851 | Status: Completed
A short fic where Duo is depressed and longs for Heero. He finally takes action- by accident. How will Heero react?
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 11.03.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 851 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: All copyrighted characters and storyline belong to their respective creators. In the case of a parody, the very basic plotline belongs to the creator of the original story. This story and, if applicable, any newly invented characters belong to me.
All things Gundam Wing belong to makers Hajime Yadate and Yoshiyuki Tomino. The show belongs to Sunrise, ANB, TV Asahi, etc. The toys belong to Bandai. The voices belong to their respective seiyuu. The song(s) beong to Two-Mix (I think). Am I missing anything?
All things Savage Garden (the song) belong to Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones. Savage Garden rules!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
1+2. Duo-angst. Father Maxwell. Sister Helen, and Solo were the only 'family' Duo ever had, and they all died.
============================
Words in Italics separated from the rest of the text are song lyrics
============================
A.C. 199
Prentice Hall University
Mission: Infiltrate and examine possible nearby enemy base
Ninmu ryoukai.
Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Same answer as always.
"Don't lie to me," Heero growled. He was getting fed up with Duo's nonchalant attitude. Something was clearly bothering the braided American, but he always brushed off the Japanese pilot's inquiries. "If you're having a depression fit, at least tell me why."
"Heero, there's nothing wrong!" Duo insisted. Heero's dark eyes glared at him.
"Hn. Don't you think I can see through your lies a little better than that?" Duo watched, frozen, as Heero grabbed his coat and left.
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places
"Duo, what's the matter!?" Heero asked, frustrated. He was nearly shouting, which in itself expressed just how annoyed he was- Heero may be dangerous and deadly, but he never raised his voice. He had had enough of his fellow pilot withdrawn, cold attitude. Shutting himself off from the rest of the world just didn't fit Duo's personality. There was clearly something bothering the pilot of Deathscythe.
"Nothing!" Duo insisted, time and time again. He grinned, the familiar mask of cheerfulness covering up his evident pain.
"Duo, what are you keeping from me?" Heero replied dangerously. His prussian blue eyes were like dark, glowing embers. Duo just shook his head and turned away.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Heero woke suddenly. The room, for once, wasn't filled with Duo's steady breathing.
Instead, it echoed with soft sobs.
"Duo?" Heero was alarmed. Duo never cried- he considered tears to be weak. The sobbing immediately hushed as Duo pretended to be asleep, but he couldn't fool his fellow pilot. Heero slipped out of bed and crossed the room. The moonlight flitted over Duo's hair, for once not in a braid but cascading loosely over the covers.
A heart-wrenching sob, filled with a hollow bitterness, escaped the boy's lips. Heero jumped slightly at the sound.
"Duo? I know you're awake. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Despite his earlier furious outburst, Heero felt the wall around his cold heart crumbling. Duo slowly sat up, face streaked with salty tears. Heero regarded him with near-horror. What could possibly have caused the ever-grinning boy such distress?
"Heero..." The voice was little above a whisper, barely audible.
"Yes?" Heero prepared himself for verbal attacks- being told to go away, mind his own business, or the cold rejection he had been getting recently.
"Onegai... until I fall asleep... could you..."
"Yes, Duo?
"Hold me?"
Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence
It's getting so loud
Heero and Duo sat in the dark. Duo was encircled by Heero's strong arms in a warm, protective embrace. Heero wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew that his friend needed the silence right then. Still... the room was too quiet. As much as the cobalt-eyed teenager's constant daytime chattering grinded his nerves, Heero would much rather have dealt with that than the endless silence now. Even their arguing was preferable over the empty room.
Well I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It's getting hard to breathe
"Care to talk about it?"
Duo opened his mouth. He gave some struggled gasps, as if trying to get the words out but something was holding him back. He was nearly panting, chest rising and falling a noticeable amount as he tried to steady his breath. A wordless understanding passed between the two boys, and Heero didn't inquire after it any more. He held him until the American fell asleep, whispering "It's all right, it's okay" in his ear over and over again.
So tell me isn't happiness
Worth more than a gold diamond ring?
I'm willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart
Duo's gaze rested on his roommate's sleeping form. It had been three days since he had woken him with his sobs, and Heero hadn't bothered him about it. He had returned to being the cold, expressionless soldier. Duo's heart was a storm of conflicting emotions- part of him wanted to turn away from everyone and hide within himself, never seeing the light of day again- just give in and have his eternal sleep. Part of him wanted to shove all the pain aside and just remain the cheerful, braided American everyone knew and loved. And another part of him, one he had lately been having difficulty keeping concealed, wanted to curl up in Heero's strong arms again and never let go.
But he felt sure that Heero would never consider him the way he did. His happiness didn't lie with the 'braided baka'.
I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down on my knees
The room was empty. Heero wasn't due back from Preventor headquarters for at least another hour.
Duo tentatively went down on one knee beside his bed. He clasped one hand around the silver cross dangling from a fine chain around his neck, thinking of all the people from Maxwell's Church who had taken care of him.
He hadn't prayed in years. Even when he had, he never really took it seriously. Now may be a good time to start- for real.
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe
He didn't really know what he was praying for, what he wanted. He didn't even understand why he was so depressed and passive lately. He had been thinking a lot about his past- Solo, the other orphans, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen... it pained him to remember, knowing that he was at least somewhat responsible for the deaths of everyone close to him. That was another reason he had been pulling away from Heero, his best... friend. If he got too close, Heero would die as well. Because death has no friends.
He just wanted something to make him feel better, to relieve him of the burden on his heart that had no explanation.
He wanted a miracle.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Duo couldn't fall asleep.
He glanced over at the glowing numbers of his alarm clock, which he didn't even bother turning on anymore- it's not like he'd get to sleep anyway. It read 3:14.
His gaze shifted back to their previous target- Heero Yuy. He wanted so desperately to pour out his heart to his friend and fellow ex-Gundam pilot, but some things might slip out that he didn't want revealed.
Like how he really felt about the Japanese pilot.
Somehow, he felt that the only way he could be free of his misery was to talk to Heero, to cry in his embrace, to be held and loved by the one that fulfilled his every thought and dreams.
But he couldn't make the move. Not without risking losing Heero's friendship. And if... when... he was rejected, he would lose that friendship as well. The price was too great.
Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the nighttime
Heero dimly recalled nights at various boarding schools or safehouses, when he would share a room with Duo. He used to love the night, if only for the purpose of watching death sleeping so peacefully. But now, he could barely stand it. Nights once filled with silent slumber now were so rudely interrupted by whatever nightmares or wretched memories plagued the American.
Cherish each moment
Now we don't live we exist
We just run through our lives
So alone
That's why you've got to hold me
Duo stared at the wall opposite of his partner's bed. He wondered if Heero was asleep yet. He wondered if the Perfect Soldier ever slept, even needed sleep. Probably not. He was a superhuman. After all, if the guy could break thick restraint straps while tied down, or set a broken leg, or jump headfirst out of a who-knows-how-high hospital building, what said he required a bit of shut-eye?
Senseless. Those were the thoughts that ran through his head. He didn't live anymore. He just existed in an empty shell. He couldn't seem to focus on anything important anymore. But then again, what was important to him now?
Heero.
Slowly, Duo slid out of bed. He suddenly wanted to be closer to the Japanese boy that had so fiercely captured his heart... just by being there. He didn't directly reject him, but he never seemed to have fully accepted the braided pilot's presence, either. So how on earth did he manage to send all of Duo's senses alight merely by being in the same room?
Duo sat down at the edge of Heero's bed. He lifted a trembling hand and gently brushed aside Heero's bangs. He looked like an angel when he was asleep, his usual scowl wiped off the beautiful features. Smooth skin, silky hair... deep prussian eyes... a nose that was slightly rounder than most, if one looked carefully... warm, soft lips...
Lips!?
Before Duo could realize what he was doing, he leaned down and gently brushed Heero's mouth with his own in the lightest of kisses. Heero stirred, and Duo froze. The deadly Japanese pilot opened his eyes. Duo's were less than two inches away, panic evident in the cobalt orbs.
His eyes crossed.
Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Duo sprang back, thankful for the night cloak to cover up the fact that he knew his face was burning bright red.
"G-g-gomen, Heero! I didn't mean to, I mean... I- I didn't..."
He was at a loss of words, mentally slapping himself for losing control, for being so weak. Confusion flitted across Heero's face, and Duo realized that he wasn't making a move to kill him.
"Duo..."
Duo shivered at the way Heero whispered his name- confusion, surprise, awe... all mixed into one deep tone.
"H-hai?" he squeaked, trembling with fear and panic and humiliation. Heero stared at him for a few minutes. Duo found he couldn't look away, so entranced was he by the depth of his partner's brilliant blue eyes.
Silence.
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places
"H-Heero, I'm so s-sorry, I swear, I'll never do anything like that again!" He knew he was stuttering, but the words continued to tumble out of his mouth uncontrollably. "I didn't mean to, I didn't, but I just wasn't thinking, I- mmph!"
The words were cut short as Heero leaned forward and, taking his chin in a... possessive?... grasp, pulled him close. Their lips touched once more, not in a feather light kiss, but one filled more with passion and intensity. Duo would have melted into a puddle of putty, had it not been for the fact that Heero's firm hold held him upright.
When they pulled apart, Duo was trembling more fiercely than ever. Heero continued to gaze at him wordlessly, their faces only inches apart, and Duo for once was speechless as well.
"H... Heero?" the whisper was barely audible, but Heero could hear it plain as day. Duo reached up tentatively and gently stroked his lower lip. A low, quiet moan escaped from Heero's throat before he could stop it. He reached up and took Duo's hand in his, caressing the soft skin gently.
"Heero..." His voice didn't hide his surprise, but it was pleading as well... pleading for what? Pleading for the one that could bring light back into his life. Pleading for love.
He closed his eyes as they came together once again, Duo wrapping his arms around Heero's neck desperately in a tight embrace. Heero slipped his own around Duo's waist, pulling him closer in another sweet kiss.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Duo clung tightly to the warm body beside him. He buried his face in Heero's shoulder, savoring the smell and feel of the boy he had longed to hold for so long. However, the attraction was not only physical- it went beyond that, deep into the very pits of their souls. Heero absently stroked his long mass of chestnut hair, which was currently out of its trademark braid. Duo didn't care if the enemy they had come here to find suddenly blew up the college they were infiltrating. He didn't care if the headmaster of this university popped in for no apparent reason at 5:32 a.m. and kicked them out for breaking the unwritten 'no-relationships-past-platonic' rule that everybody knew anyway. He didn't care if he died in the morning from falling down the stairs or something equally as stupid.
All that mattered was here and now. And that present state was cuddled up to the single person that had haunted his dreams from the day they had met, four years ago...
Was it really only four years? It felt so much longer.
Time was irrelevant. It didn't matter. Only Heero did. His Heero. That sounded so good... his Heero...
That was the here and now. Heero was the here and now.
"Aishiteru..." Duo murmured, half asleep. He knew that as he would have to get up for classes in only two hours he might as well stay up, but the drowsiness overtook him. Two hours was better than no sleep at all, wasn't it? Heero's hold around him tightened.
"Ore mo, Duo. Aishiteru... zutto."
All things Gundam Wing belong to makers Hajime Yadate and Yoshiyuki Tomino. The show belongs to Sunrise, ANB, TV Asahi, etc. The toys belong to Bandai. The voices belong to their respective seiyuu. The song(s) beong to Two-Mix (I think). Am I missing anything?
All things Savage Garden (the song) belong to Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones. Savage Garden rules!
Hold Me
Written by Shadow Maxwell-Yuy
Begun: 03.09.2001; Edited 06. 05. 2001
Written by Shadow Maxwell-Yuy
Begun: 03.09.2001; Edited 06. 05. 2001
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
1+2. Duo-angst. Father Maxwell. Sister Helen, and Solo were the only 'family' Duo ever had, and they all died.
============================
Words in Italics separated from the rest of the text are song lyrics
============================
A.C. 199
Prentice Hall University
Mission: Infiltrate and examine possible nearby enemy base
Ninmu ryoukai.
Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Same answer as always.
"Don't lie to me," Heero growled. He was getting fed up with Duo's nonchalant attitude. Something was clearly bothering the braided American, but he always brushed off the Japanese pilot's inquiries. "If you're having a depression fit, at least tell me why."
"Heero, there's nothing wrong!" Duo insisted. Heero's dark eyes glared at him.
"Hn. Don't you think I can see through your lies a little better than that?" Duo watched, frozen, as Heero grabbed his coat and left.
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places
"Duo, what's the matter!?" Heero asked, frustrated. He was nearly shouting, which in itself expressed just how annoyed he was- Heero may be dangerous and deadly, but he never raised his voice. He had had enough of his fellow pilot withdrawn, cold attitude. Shutting himself off from the rest of the world just didn't fit Duo's personality. There was clearly something bothering the pilot of Deathscythe.
"Nothing!" Duo insisted, time and time again. He grinned, the familiar mask of cheerfulness covering up his evident pain.
"Duo, what are you keeping from me?" Heero replied dangerously. His prussian blue eyes were like dark, glowing embers. Duo just shook his head and turned away.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Heero woke suddenly. The room, for once, wasn't filled with Duo's steady breathing.
Instead, it echoed with soft sobs.
"Duo?" Heero was alarmed. Duo never cried- he considered tears to be weak. The sobbing immediately hushed as Duo pretended to be asleep, but he couldn't fool his fellow pilot. Heero slipped out of bed and crossed the room. The moonlight flitted over Duo's hair, for once not in a braid but cascading loosely over the covers.
A heart-wrenching sob, filled with a hollow bitterness, escaped the boy's lips. Heero jumped slightly at the sound.
"Duo? I know you're awake. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Despite his earlier furious outburst, Heero felt the wall around his cold heart crumbling. Duo slowly sat up, face streaked with salty tears. Heero regarded him with near-horror. What could possibly have caused the ever-grinning boy such distress?
"Heero..." The voice was little above a whisper, barely audible.
"Yes?" Heero prepared himself for verbal attacks- being told to go away, mind his own business, or the cold rejection he had been getting recently.
"Onegai... until I fall asleep... could you..."
"Yes, Duo?
"Hold me?"
Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence
It's getting so loud
Heero and Duo sat in the dark. Duo was encircled by Heero's strong arms in a warm, protective embrace. Heero wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew that his friend needed the silence right then. Still... the room was too quiet. As much as the cobalt-eyed teenager's constant daytime chattering grinded his nerves, Heero would much rather have dealt with that than the endless silence now. Even their arguing was preferable over the empty room.
Well I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It's getting hard to breathe
"Care to talk about it?"
Duo opened his mouth. He gave some struggled gasps, as if trying to get the words out but something was holding him back. He was nearly panting, chest rising and falling a noticeable amount as he tried to steady his breath. A wordless understanding passed between the two boys, and Heero didn't inquire after it any more. He held him until the American fell asleep, whispering "It's all right, it's okay" in his ear over and over again.
So tell me isn't happiness
Worth more than a gold diamond ring?
I'm willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart
Duo's gaze rested on his roommate's sleeping form. It had been three days since he had woken him with his sobs, and Heero hadn't bothered him about it. He had returned to being the cold, expressionless soldier. Duo's heart was a storm of conflicting emotions- part of him wanted to turn away from everyone and hide within himself, never seeing the light of day again- just give in and have his eternal sleep. Part of him wanted to shove all the pain aside and just remain the cheerful, braided American everyone knew and loved. And another part of him, one he had lately been having difficulty keeping concealed, wanted to curl up in Heero's strong arms again and never let go.
But he felt sure that Heero would never consider him the way he did. His happiness didn't lie with the 'braided baka'.
I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down on my knees
The room was empty. Heero wasn't due back from Preventor headquarters for at least another hour.
Duo tentatively went down on one knee beside his bed. He clasped one hand around the silver cross dangling from a fine chain around his neck, thinking of all the people from Maxwell's Church who had taken care of him.
He hadn't prayed in years. Even when he had, he never really took it seriously. Now may be a good time to start- for real.
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe
He didn't really know what he was praying for, what he wanted. He didn't even understand why he was so depressed and passive lately. He had been thinking a lot about his past- Solo, the other orphans, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen... it pained him to remember, knowing that he was at least somewhat responsible for the deaths of everyone close to him. That was another reason he had been pulling away from Heero, his best... friend. If he got too close, Heero would die as well. Because death has no friends.
He just wanted something to make him feel better, to relieve him of the burden on his heart that had no explanation.
He wanted a miracle.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Duo couldn't fall asleep.
He glanced over at the glowing numbers of his alarm clock, which he didn't even bother turning on anymore- it's not like he'd get to sleep anyway. It read 3:14.
His gaze shifted back to their previous target- Heero Yuy. He wanted so desperately to pour out his heart to his friend and fellow ex-Gundam pilot, but some things might slip out that he didn't want revealed.
Like how he really felt about the Japanese pilot.
Somehow, he felt that the only way he could be free of his misery was to talk to Heero, to cry in his embrace, to be held and loved by the one that fulfilled his every thought and dreams.
But he couldn't make the move. Not without risking losing Heero's friendship. And if... when... he was rejected, he would lose that friendship as well. The price was too great.
Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the nighttime
Heero dimly recalled nights at various boarding schools or safehouses, when he would share a room with Duo. He used to love the night, if only for the purpose of watching death sleeping so peacefully. But now, he could barely stand it. Nights once filled with silent slumber now were so rudely interrupted by whatever nightmares or wretched memories plagued the American.
Cherish each moment
Now we don't live we exist
We just run through our lives
So alone
That's why you've got to hold me
Duo stared at the wall opposite of his partner's bed. He wondered if Heero was asleep yet. He wondered if the Perfect Soldier ever slept, even needed sleep. Probably not. He was a superhuman. After all, if the guy could break thick restraint straps while tied down, or set a broken leg, or jump headfirst out of a who-knows-how-high hospital building, what said he required a bit of shut-eye?
Senseless. Those were the thoughts that ran through his head. He didn't live anymore. He just existed in an empty shell. He couldn't seem to focus on anything important anymore. But then again, what was important to him now?
Heero.
Slowly, Duo slid out of bed. He suddenly wanted to be closer to the Japanese boy that had so fiercely captured his heart... just by being there. He didn't directly reject him, but he never seemed to have fully accepted the braided pilot's presence, either. So how on earth did he manage to send all of Duo's senses alight merely by being in the same room?
Duo sat down at the edge of Heero's bed. He lifted a trembling hand and gently brushed aside Heero's bangs. He looked like an angel when he was asleep, his usual scowl wiped off the beautiful features. Smooth skin, silky hair... deep prussian eyes... a nose that was slightly rounder than most, if one looked carefully... warm, soft lips...
Lips!?
Before Duo could realize what he was doing, he leaned down and gently brushed Heero's mouth with his own in the lightest of kisses. Heero stirred, and Duo froze. The deadly Japanese pilot opened his eyes. Duo's were less than two inches away, panic evident in the cobalt orbs.
His eyes crossed.
Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Duo sprang back, thankful for the night cloak to cover up the fact that he knew his face was burning bright red.
"G-g-gomen, Heero! I didn't mean to, I mean... I- I didn't..."
He was at a loss of words, mentally slapping himself for losing control, for being so weak. Confusion flitted across Heero's face, and Duo realized that he wasn't making a move to kill him.
"Duo..."
Duo shivered at the way Heero whispered his name- confusion, surprise, awe... all mixed into one deep tone.
"H-hai?" he squeaked, trembling with fear and panic and humiliation. Heero stared at him for a few minutes. Duo found he couldn't look away, so entranced was he by the depth of his partner's brilliant blue eyes.
Silence.
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places
"H-Heero, I'm so s-sorry, I swear, I'll never do anything like that again!" He knew he was stuttering, but the words continued to tumble out of his mouth uncontrollably. "I didn't mean to, I didn't, but I just wasn't thinking, I- mmph!"
The words were cut short as Heero leaned forward and, taking his chin in a... possessive?... grasp, pulled him close. Their lips touched once more, not in a feather light kiss, but one filled more with passion and intensity. Duo would have melted into a puddle of putty, had it not been for the fact that Heero's firm hold held him upright.
When they pulled apart, Duo was trembling more fiercely than ever. Heero continued to gaze at him wordlessly, their faces only inches apart, and Duo for once was speechless as well.
"H... Heero?" the whisper was barely audible, but Heero could hear it plain as day. Duo reached up tentatively and gently stroked his lower lip. A low, quiet moan escaped from Heero's throat before he could stop it. He reached up and took Duo's hand in his, caressing the soft skin gently.
"Heero..." His voice didn't hide his surprise, but it was pleading as well... pleading for what? Pleading for the one that could bring light back into his life. Pleading for love.
He closed his eyes as they came together once again, Duo wrapping his arms around Heero's neck desperately in a tight embrace. Heero slipped his own around Duo's waist, pulling him closer in another sweet kiss.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Duo clung tightly to the warm body beside him. He buried his face in Heero's shoulder, savoring the smell and feel of the boy he had longed to hold for so long. However, the attraction was not only physical- it went beyond that, deep into the very pits of their souls. Heero absently stroked his long mass of chestnut hair, which was currently out of its trademark braid. Duo didn't care if the enemy they had come here to find suddenly blew up the college they were infiltrating. He didn't care if the headmaster of this university popped in for no apparent reason at 5:32 a.m. and kicked them out for breaking the unwritten 'no-relationships-past-platonic' rule that everybody knew anyway. He didn't care if he died in the morning from falling down the stairs or something equally as stupid.
All that mattered was here and now. And that present state was cuddled up to the single person that had haunted his dreams from the day they had met, four years ago...
Was it really only four years? It felt so much longer.
Time was irrelevant. It didn't matter. Only Heero did. His Heero. That sounded so good... his Heero...
That was the here and now. Heero was the here and now.
"Aishiteru..." Duo murmured, half asleep. He knew that as he would have to get up for classes in only two hours he might as well stay up, but the drowsiness overtook him. Two hours was better than no sleep at all, wasn't it? Heero's hold around him tightened.
"Ore mo, Duo. Aishiteru... zutto."