Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Holiday Spirit ❯ Holiday Spirit ( Chapter 1 )

Just because it's the holidays…

 

--I don't own it!

 

Now that we've settled that. Enjoy!

 

--M.

 

The streets were all but abandoned save for the last few shopkeepers closing their stores and making their way home. A young man stepped out of a small specialty bookshop, and locked the door, the softly ringing bells echoing tauntingly after him and he strode brusquely along the sidewalk away from the store.

 

The night was far too cold for the thin winter jacket he was wearing, and he buried his hands deeper into his coat pockets wishing he'd worn the scarf Relena had knitted him last Christmas. He flipped the collar of his jacket up and hid his cheeks against it, knowing that they must be a bright, frostbitten red by now.

 

His journey home wasn't a long one, and most days he enjoyed the walk back to his apartment. There was a bakery a block away from the bookshop and although he had never purchased anything from it, the scent of baking bread and sugary sweets wafting out onto the street made passing there a pleasure. A bit farther than that was a church. That was his favourite part of walking home. Six o'clock on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays the choir was having their practice, and unless he worked late, he walked by just in time to catch them in the midst of a song. He wasn't religious, and never had been, but there was no denying that the music was beautiful. He liked to hear the music because it reminded him of Duo.

 

Tonight as he passed the church, he could hear Christmas hymns being sung for the holiday program, He'd seen the posters advertising it, and almost decided to go. Almost. He stopped outside of the church and listened for a few minutes.

 

”Wufei, come on!” Duo cried, tugging on his arm. Amethyst eyes turned on him, when he refused to move. With an exasperated sigh, and a final firm tug, Duo got him moving forward. “Come on!”

“Why?” Wufei asked, giving in to Duo's whim and going on his own accord. “What for, Duo?”

 

Duo laughed. “You'll see.”

 

Wufei rolled his eyes, but continued following his friend. Duo stopped outside a Cathedral. Wufei balked. “What are we doing here?”

 

“It's Christmas Eve, you moron.” Duo answered. “The Messiah's being performed.”

“But…neither of us is religious.” Wufei said, still reluctant to enter the sanctuary.

“So?” Duo asked. “You don't have to be religious to enjoy beautiful music.”

 

Wufei smiled softly, and Duo grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs and into the sanctuary. They stood together near the door and mostly hidden by shadows. For the first time since the war had started, Wufei felt at peace. Duo nudged his shoulder.

 

“See? Wasn't this worth it?”

“Yes.”

 

Wufei was startled out of his memories by the chill that shot down his spine. He smiled at his own stupidity for standing in the bitter cold without proper clothing and hurried the last two blocks to his apartment.

 

After hanging up his coat and gloves and meticulously putting his shoes in their place, he walked into the kitchen. He didn't bother to turn on any lights, the streetlamps shining through light enough for making a cup of tea.

 

“What would father think of putting sugar and milk in green tea?” Wufei wondered alout to himself, it was a habit he had picked up from Duo. Everything had to be sweet with him. He laughed as he heard his father's voice, gruff and forthright, “Desecration of the purity of the tea!”

 

He reached into a drawer and took out a small box, then walked into the living room. Opening the box revealed four white candles, which he set them on the windowsill in a row.

 

”Christmas is the happiest, and the saddest time of the year.” Trowa's words from Christmas years ago echoed to him.

 

“That's right." Wufei whispered in reply. “Merry Christmas Trowa, Merry Christmas Quatre.”

 

Then Wufei lit two of the small candles. He hadn't heard from those two in a while and he wondered how they were doing. After the Mariemaia incident, they had moved in together; finding solace in each other. He was happy for them, they deserved to be, if not happy, content.

 

“Merry Christmas, Duo.” Wufei said as he lit the center candle. He worried about Duo more than any of the other pilots, especially after last Christmas. His eyes fell upon the fourth, and last candle. The candle remained unlit. He put the matchbook back into the box, and sighed softly.

 

“Merry Christmas, Heero.”

 

”Christmas is the happiest, and the saddest time of the year.” Trowa said after Duo had put the start on their small tree.

“What do you mean?” Quatre asked. “Everyone I've met seems so happy.” .

“A lot of people are lonely during the holidays,” Duo answered, falling onto the sofa next to Heero. “The most suicides occur around this time of year.” .

“Oh.” Quatre said softly. “That's so s—“.

“Ha!” Duo exclaimed startling everyone. “It might be sad, but don't let it ruin your mood. It's Christmas. Be happy for what you have, even if it's not perfect. Appreciate what you've got while you've got it, because it'll be gone before you know it!”

 

Heero had been hit the hardest by the Mariemaia incident. He and Duo were just starting their relationship when it happened. Afterwords, Heero became depressed and never really recovered. It was hard for Duo to watch Heero become more and more unhappy. Even now he still blames himself.

 

“I should have known!” Duo sobbed, clinging desperately to Wufei. “I should have noticed something was wrong. It's all my fault! I was with him all the time, and I didn't even realize it!”

“Duo—“ Wufei whispered.

“Wufei, why didn't I see it? It's all my fault!—“ Duo's voice choked into sobs, and Wufei held him. That's all he could do.

“It's not your fault, Duo.” Wufei soothed, gently rubbing Duo's back. “It's not your fault.”

 

Four years ago, none of us would have thought that we would be in the position of those people that have lost loved ones during the holidays. A week before Christmas last year, Heero had finally succumbed to his depression and guilt over the war and the Mariemaia incident. Duo found him in their bathroom, he had taken a bottle of sleeping pills while Duo was at work. Duo blamed himself.

 

Wufei had received a card from Duo saying that he would be spending Christmas with Quatre and Trowa. He was relieved that Duo wouldn't be alone. Wufei couldn't help but wonder how much longer it would be, before he would stop lighting the middle candle.

 

“It's not your fault.” Wufei whispered to the center candle. He stepped away from the window and sat down on the sofa, quietly drinking his tea. He had a small tree decorated with the few ornaments he owned, most of which were gifts from Duo, or some of the many crafts that the deathscythe pilot had made over the few holidays they had spent together. Gifts from Sally, Duo, Relena, and a few friends from the bookshop rested under the tree. It was small, but that was how Wufei liked it.

 

“Merry Christmas, Wufei.” He whispered to the night. He wasn't really happy, but he wasn't really sad. He was content. Things could be better, he decided, but they were the way they were, and that was fine.

 

“It might be sad, but don't let it ruin your mood. It's Christmas. Be happy for what you have, even if it's not perfect. Appreciate what you've got while you've got it, because it'll be gone before you know it!”