Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ How To Save A Life ❯ Chapter Seven ( Chapter 7 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: StandingOnTheRooftops 
Beta-read by Foxxy. 1x2x1 Lemon included.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Shounen / Angst / Romance / Psychological / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 03.14.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 160 | Status: Work In Progress
Beta-read by Foxxy. 1x2x1 Lemon included.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Shounen / Angst / Romance / Psychological / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 03.14.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 160 | Status: Work In Progress
AN: Citrus Alert! Warning! Citrus Alert! The following chapter contains a lemon. A very long lemon. You have already been warned. If you didn't think this story deserved an 'M' rating before... this chapter changes that. I urge those who are opposed to male/male sex to turn back now. And I urge those who are NOT over the age of seventeen (or of legal age wherever you're at) to turn back now. I give no further warnings than this, so don't say you weren't warned.
And PS: This is a very, very long chapter.
Oh, and thanks bunches to Foxxy for the beta. Huggles!
Chapter Seven
"Let him know that you know best,
'Cause after all, you do know best."
Monday, Two Days Later
"What about this one?"
Releena held up an emerald silk dress.
"Hmm... I like green. Maybe." Kaori said, contemplating herself in the full-length mirror. The dress was pale blue velvet and fit like a glove, hugging every little curve she had, some a little tightly and some a little looser, testimony to the fact that the dress was not her size.
Releena and Kaori might look close to the same size, but Releena was a good inch and a half taller, and at least a few inches wider around waist and hip.... even if Kaori was more well endowed in the bust area. And since Kaori had no party dresses... the lawyer was her only hope.
"I like that one," Releena nodded. Kaori frowned.
"Maybe. It's just a little.... revealing." It had a tube top and ended very high up on the thigh.
"Huh. Maybe...." Releena flicked through a few more of her dresses laying on the bed. "This one."
The dress she held up was a darker blue, made out of a satiny material. On the hangar, it seemed to be sleeveless, the back dipping down dangerously low. The dress was slender, meant to fit like a second skin from chest to thigh, where it gently flared out. More blue gauze sheer flitted around, peeking from several slits in the skirt.
"Ohh..." Kaori cooed, catching the dress Releena tossed to her. She immediately shrugged out of the velvet tube dress, standing with just her underwear on as she slipped the new dress on. Releena helped, zipping up the back zipper, and then Kaori was back in front of the mirror. The dress looked awesome, Releena admitted. And looked better on Kaori than it did her. It fit snugly- very snugly- around the bust, but the dress, meant to fit like a second skin, was clinging to Kaori's curves loosely, but not too loosely. Releena grasped two lenghts of gauzy ribbon, attached to the front of the chest, and tied them around Kaori's neck, so that it was more of a halter sleeve than sleeveless.
Kaori sighed. It was a beautiful dress. But it had a flaw... it showed her flaws.
She held out her arm, admired the long, harsh scratches against her pale, smooth skin.
"I have gloves," Releena said with a little sigh, fetching a pair of sapphire satin gloves, tugging them onto Kaori's fingers. Pulled all the way up, they reached her thin upper arm, effectively hiding the worst of the marks.
"A little foundation and powder will cover up these," Releena softly traced the few still-visible wounds before leaning her head on Kaori's shoulder.
"I wish you wouldn't do that," she murmered into the younger girl's hair.
Kaori sighed. It was a long feud. Releena had been the first person to ever find out about her depression, and her cutting. And until the other day, with Trowa... she'd been the only person besides Heero to ever know.
"I know," Kaori whispered. Releena nodded, leaning back.
"Kaori... you are beautiful. I wish you'd take better care of yourself. Stop the cutting. Start eating again. Go to that psychologist you're making Heero go to. You know, it's hypocritical," Releena snapped, suddenly angry. "Making him think he's crazy, when you're just as bad off as he is."
"He knows about me," Kaori whispered.
"Who? Heero? Duh."
"No. Dr. Barton." Her voice was low. Releena's eyes narrowed.
"...."
"He came by my house to drop off some copies of the forms I signed. He... he saw."
"What did you say?"
"That it was my business. He said he thought I should tell Quatre."
Releena nodded. "He's right, you know? Quatre has a right to...."
"No. I stand here every day and watch him get worse and worse," her eyes misted, but her voice was firm. "Knowing that there's nothing more I can do. There's nothing else I can do to save him. I will not place my burdens on his shoulders. I can't do that, 'Leena. Can't you see? I can't."
Releena looked at Kaori in the mirror. Their eyes met and held in the reflection. Releena sighed. She knew that Kaori's will was as strong as steel. Whether she agreed with her friends choices or not, it wasn't her place to intervene. Her brother's brother-in-law was family, but this was Kaori's secret to tell. Not hers.
"Fine." She lifted a hand to the long, loose, straight black tresses of Kaori's hair, changing the subject like she always did. Like she always would. "Will you do something with your hair for Friday?"
Kaori shrugged. "Don't know yet."
"Dorothy's going to come over. She'd love to get her hands on your hair, you know?"
Kaori nodded. Dorothy Catalonia was a friend of theirs, and she had a hair fetish in the extreme. She had actually attended law school with Releena for a while, before she'd quite upon deciding that cosmetology was the better career choice for her. And she was good at what she did. Very good.
"Sure. Why not?"
Friday afternoon
Their usual Friday session was in full swing. Duo had slowly broken through over the past three sessions. He'd gotten the quiet man to open up, to talk at length about... well, at little bit at least. He'd been able to glimpse inside of Heero, and see what was truly going on. He knew he still didn't have the whole story, but he hoped that with all these little breakthroughs, he was getting closer.
And the closer he got, the more Duo was certain of one thing. This was no ordinary patient.
And Duo's feelings were quickly transcending the mere Doctor-Patient bond. If they had ever even started as such.
At present, Duo was listening as he managed to get Heero to talk. And he talked about Kaori. If Duo ever gave Heero reason to speak... it was always about Kaori. It seemed that his sister was somewhat of a life-line and a catalyst for his suicide attempts at the same time. It was odd, and Duo was intent of figuring it out.
"I always felt safe with her. Stupid. I was the one saving her. But I felt safe... I felt... protected. She was my favorite place to be. Wherever she was. But... I don't think that was what you meant. My favorite place to go... it's so peaceful... there's a waterfall, and a river, and the air shimmers, and..." Heero stood up suddenly, his eyes distant. "I can't do this. Come on..."
"What?" Duo questioned, his mind suddenly on full alert, coming right back down out of his thoughts. He had been paying attention, but this sudden turn around surprised him.
"Come on." Heero said impatiently, hand held out.. "You said you wanted to know about my favorite place. I'm gonna show it to you. It's... just... I can't explain it. It was my and Kaori's favorite spot. It's where we'd hide from all the bad things. Come on!"
Heero grabbed Duo's hand when it was obvious the younger man wasn't responding. He tugged Duo onto his feet, out the door.
A very dazed and confused Duo followed meekly behind him, thanking the Lord that he wasn't all that interested in the party later anyway- and that no one would miss his presence there, or in his office, since Heero was his last meeting today. Heero pulled him along, down the corridor of the hospital.
"My car's closer," he pointed out, motioning to the employee's garage exit. Heero just nodded and they changed directions. It never crossed his mind what he was doing. Duo was simply focused on the fact that Heero seemed more motivated than usual- more animated. And that's what mattered- Heero. Not just Heero's rehabilitation, but Heero.
Duo unlocked the black four by four and made Heero buckle up before he put the truck in reverse.
"Left at the light," Heero said. "Do you know where Sandrock Park is?"
Duo nodded. A little, tiny wildlife preserve just outside town. He was becoming interested. Heero was showing enthusiasm about something. Surely this qualified as a breakthrough?
"Go to the north entrance." Duo nodded again, as he pulled out of the parking garage.
After a few minutes, Duo frowned at the silence that had overcome the truck with Heero just staring out the window, and turned the radio on just a little. It was still playing his Dark Horse CD. And it just happened to be on his most hated song...
"S is for the simple need,
E is for the ecstasy,
"X is just to mark the spot...."
Duo blushed, quickly hitting the shuffle button.
Ah... better. The strains were beautiful. He hummed along with the first verse.
"Just one more moment, that's all that's needed,
"Like wounded soldiers, in need of healing...
"Time to be honest, this time I'm pleading...
"Please don't dwell on it... cause I didn't mean it...
"I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground....
"But it dosen't matter 'Cause
"I made it up, Forgive me now,
"And every day I spend away,
"My soul's inside out,
"Gotta be some way
"That I can make it up,
"To you now, somehow...
"By now you know that....
"I'd come for you,
"No one, but you...
"Yes I'd come for you...
"But only if you told me to..
"I'd fight for you,
"I'd lie- it's true,
"Give my life for you...
"You know I'd always come for you."
By the time the chorus came in, Duo was singing along at full volume. The rest of the short trip passed by relatively uneventful, with Heero mostly ignoring him.
As soon as Duo parked at the north end, Heero was out and talking, though.
"Come on. I've never shown anyone this place before. I don't think Kaori ever even showed Quatre. It's just our own special little place that no one knows of."
Duo followed along as Heero lead him into the woods, following a marked walking trail. And he followed when Heero veered left at a very large oak tree, leaving the path and making his way through brush and trees. He really couldn't see anything special about the middle of the woods.
He'd followed Heero in silence for at least twenty minutes. Duo estimated they'd covered almost a mile with Heero's quick pace and determination. And then Heero stopped. Duo hadn't been paying much attention, and he nearly stumbled into Heero's back. When he looked up...
His breath caught in his lungs. It was beautiful. The creek that had been shallow and slow by the walking trails, and by the picnic areas, was here. But it ran swift and deep, and about twenty meters away it tumbled down a series of waterfalls of different sizes. The mist thrown up cast rainbows in the air, and the woods fell away to a few meters of soft grass before turning to the boulders of the river's edges.
God... he could see why anyone would love this place.
...........................................................
Meanwhile
Dorothy Catalonia was drop dead gorgeous. A friend of Releena's for a long time, the girl- sporting a generously long lenth of hair herself and steely gray eyes- jumped at any and all chances to get her fingers into Kaori's hair.
Dorothy loved doing Releena's hair. For the party, she'd placed a generous amount of curlers in the fellow blond's hair, and had teased it for hours with comb, pick, and hair barrettes until the end result was a beautiful updo of glistening honey curls that bobbed with every graceful step of the young lawyer.
But Kaori's hair was a different matter. Dorothy adored Kaori's hair, the entire knee length mass of it. She'd fiddled and faddled for almost two hours, and still hadn't been satisfied with the results.
"Ah, Doro," Kaori groaned. "My neck is getting a crick in it. Just make up your mind... I don't care how it looks!"
"You should take pride in your hair," Dorothy replied, her eyes glued to the mass. "It's the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen."
"That's just cause you have a hair fetish," Releena piped in.
Dorothy frowned comicaly, not the least put out. "This is true," she nodded. "This is true."
It took her another hour... another hour with Kaori complaining and Releena laughing the whole time... before she was happy with the outcome. She'd waved Kaori's hair, so that it fell in loose cascades down her back. Then, she'd pulled up part of the hair into a ponytail, wrapped around itself a few times to form a half bun, a loose knot with waves falling out of it stylishly. It was terribly simple, but when paired with the gorgeous dress, it was perfect.
Releena forced Kaori to borrow some jewelry, a sparkly empress choker with chandelier earrings and a few twinkling crystal hair barrettes, all in silver. And Dorothy insisted on doing both girl's make-up. She went heavy on Releena, using a bright blush and dark eyeshadows that complimented the scarlet spaghetti strap dress she'd chosen. The dress flirted playfully around her calves and laced up on either side of the torso, giving an appearance of a corset. A lacy pattern adorned the top, and the skirt flared out in a swirly length of gauze and lace tiers. Red strappy heels and ruby red lipstick completed her look.
Again, she went simple with Kaori. A sweep of light silvery blue eyeshadow, a brush of pink blush and pale pink lipstick. Kaori had already taken foundation and mineral powder to cover her scars, and no one could tell anything was amiss when she pulled on the gloves.
Dorothy smiled at a job well done when both of her friends stood before her in ther ballroom finery.
"You'll knock 'em dead, girls!"
Back across town...
Heero had fallen exceptionally quiet.
"What's wrong?" Duo asked, tearing his eyes away from the scenery as Heero perched on top of a chest high boulder.
"Just... memories."
"Care to talk?"
"Hn. Kaori and I... we used to love this place when we were kids. We'd hide out here when... when Odin did something..." Heero's voice fell quiet, but he picked back up after a silent moment. "I loved Kaori. I still do, more than anything. And yet... she's the one who makes me want to stop living," he sighed.
Duo blinked. Now... that was something. It confirmed his suspicions, but it didn't explain them. He remained quiet and passive, leaning gently against the boulder as he waited.
"Iraq wasn't so hard." Heero began. "It was pretty easy for the most part. The... killing... It... they were all vile. I mean... they had families, loved ones. They were doing what they thought was right. But so was I. I was protecting my family. Kaori, Quatre, 'Leena... all the people I knew, all the people in my life. I could justify it to myself, so I could do it. I could take a life.
"And then... one day, it was a simple mission. All I had to do was plant explosives in the building. The insurgents were storing weapons and ammo there. Two of my team were executed there just the day before. C-4 in all the right places, get out. Boom, it was done. Ten insurgents died in the blast. The rest of my team and I swept the area, when I found a girl. Dead, in the debris. She was about ten, probably younger. She... looked.... just.... like... Kaori. Not really, but I could see my sister in that heart-shaped face. And I'd killed her. We found out later that she'd been kidnapped by the insurgents, and had been brutally raped more than once. Every time I looked at her, every time I closed my eyes, I saw Kaori. My sister. I saw my sister in that little girl's face. And I had killed her. She'd done nothing wrong..."
Duo listened with tear filled eyes as Heero's voice broke with emotion.
"It changed me. I couldn't take another life after that. I screwed up too many times, and finally, after I broke my arm, I got an honorable discharge. The purple heart is still in my dresser drawer, though I never deserved it. I tried to settle back down... but I still have nightmares. Every night, I see my sister's face... and I see myself killing her. I know what I'm capable of... and I can't let myself hurt her."
"You won't," Duo finally spoke, keeping his voice clear through sheer will-power.
"I can," Heero added. "I can."
"You can," Duo nodded. "But you won't. Everyone has done things, Heero. Everyone has a past. I understand that a lot better than you think I do, but..."
Heero laughed, a bit harshly. "How can you understand that? To feel like you'll murder anyone you care about?"
"I grew up in an orphanage," Duo said softly. "I was in it when it burnt to the ground, taking everyone I loved with it. I escaped, along with another. She died three days later. Five years after that, my adopted parents died in a car crash. At my next foster home, my foster brother committed suicide, and our foster mother died of pneumonia. Everyone I've ever loved has died. So I understand what it feels like to lose everyone. I understand what it feels like to think you'll lose everyone you care for."
Heero was silent as he assimilated all of this. Duo turned, looking up at him, trying to fathom the expression on that handsome face.
"We're a lot alike, aren't we?" Heero asked quietly, at last, slipping from the boulder to stand beside his psychologist.
Duo laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess. Funny how things turn out, huh?"
"Hilarious," Heero deadpanned, the reached for Duo, yanking the man close and pressing his lips against the young doctor's.
"...."
Duo gasped in shock as Heero's lips crushed down onto his. Heero took advantage of the psychologist's shock, deepening the kiss quickly. In all of Duo's observations or fantasies... he'd never had Heero pegged as the ruthless type of person to initiate such a rough kiss.
But all protests Duo had died as Heero's tongue rubbed against his with fervor and passion and Duo realized that... damn... his patient was a very good kisser. All rational thought, all memory that he should not be doing this with a patient- an emotionally unstable patient, at that- died in the flood of heat that swamped him. Within a heartbeat, Duo was returning the kiss, pressing his body into Heero's, tangling his hands in that wonderfully messy brown hair as even their depressing conversation fled his mind.
It was Heero's turn to be shocked as the doctor went from tense, to pliant, to writhing against him. He fought to regain the control that had just been his moments ago, but to little avail. It seemed to be a stale-mate, for they were both just as passionate in that hot mating of lips, tongue and teeth.
Without asking for or seeking approval or consent, he moved his hands to the slender psychologist's belt. He fumbled with the buckle before he tackled the zipper, slipping inside to seek out the treasures hidden there.
Duo hissed into the kiss as Heero's hand wrapped around him, extricated him from the confines of his slacks. He thrust into the possesive but still gentle touch.
"More," he growled against Heero's lips as the older man moved, lowering his head to feast on Duo's jaw. "Ah.... Heero..."
But the hand on him was slow and gentle, at odds with the fervent mouth suckling at his skin. Duo thrust against Heero's hand, demanding more attention.
"More," he repeated, his hands tightening around those smooth muscles. Obediently, Heero's hand moved a little faster, a little harder, jerking Duo off. Duo couldn't stand the torture. His breathing was getting labored, and he could feel those lips against his neck.
"Ah... Heero... I'm... I'm gonna... I'm gonna come..."
Heero leaned back up, his lips next to Duo's ears, nibbling at the flesh there.
"But you said you wouldn't cum unless I told you to... remember? Back in the car?"
Duo's eyes flew open. Was Heero joking? Or did he mean that? God, it had just been a song! Indigo eyes met prussian ones, and Heero smirked at Duo's confused look.
Oh, Lord, Duo thought, a little panic and common sense penetrating the haze of pleasure, dampening the impending climax. What have I gotten myself into?
It occurred just a little too late that he was alone in the middle of nowhere with a man who had violent tendencies... a man whose fingers were curled possessively around his cock. Heero gave a slow tug, and rationality flew the coop... again.
"Nnnnhhh... tease...." Duo managed.
Apparently this was highly funny because Heero smirked and chuckled before finally removing his hand, leaving Duo standing there, fully hard. Heero's fingers busied themselves with the buttons on Duo's shirt. Duo regained enough brain cells to see what was happening- but not enough to see the bad sides to this. His own fingers tugged Heero's shirt up, away from the waist band of those jeans.
The sun cast a ethereal orange glow over the area as both men divested the other of clothes.
"Heero... This is a bad idea," Duo managed, though he was steadily kissing any available part of the other's body.
"Hnn... probably," Heero agreed, dragging Duo down onto the ground. The ground was firm, but the grass was thick and soft and cool against Duo's heated skin.
"We could get in a lot of trouble for this," Duo panted.
"Probably," was the same reply before Heero's body pressed down on top of him, lips reclaiming Duo's. Heero's fingers trailed across Duo's skin, tweaking a hardened nipple before moving on, moving down until his hands slipped along Duo's thigh, heading back.
Duo caught Heero's fingers only a hair's breadth away from his puckered entrance.
"I don't do bottom," he whispered against Heero's lips. "'Least not the first time, anyways."
Truthfully, Duo had never found someone he trusted enough to give up that little bit of control, but obviously it didn't bother Heero in the least, because he flipped them over, rolling until Duo rested on top.
"Then get a move on," the blue eyed man urged impatiently, pulling his knees up and spreading his thighs.
Duo groaned at the invitation, and bent to kiss along Heero's jaw.
"Heero... in case you didn't know... I'm not into carrying around lube... or protection... in my pockets. I don't do this kind of thing."
"Me either," the other admitted, capturing Duo's lips in a quite calm, gentle kiss. He knew the hidden question in those words. "I'm clean, I had Doctor Barton do the tests while I was in the clinic."
"Me too," Duo replied. "Sally Po is my personal doctor. I was tested four months ago. But...." Duo pressed his lips against Heero's neck. "I've... it's been a year..."
Heero nodded in understanding; it had been awhile for him, too. Meeting Duo's eyes, he drew the other's hand to his lips, sucking on the two middle fingers. Duo groaned, and rubbed himself against Heero's thigh. Eventually Heero released the captive fingers, and Duo immediately went to work.
Heero must not have done this lately, either, Duo thought. His channel was tight, so tight. Duo groaned as he prepared the his soon-to-be-lover, his fingers slipping in and out, streatching him. He grinned when his fingers brushed over a certain spot, and Heero arched into him.
"Ahh... Duo, Duo..."
Duo loved the way his name sounded on Heero's lips, in that breathless, gasping voice. It suddenly occurred to him that it was the first time his patient had ever used his first name. It had always been 'Dr. Maxwell' before. Duo resolved to hear his name fall from that mouth as often as possible, and searched again for his lover's prostate.
"Ah... Damn, Duo... I need... you.... NOW!"
"You've got me," Duo replied breathlessly as he removed his fingers. He tried to remain slow and gentle as he entered his new lover... but Heero would have none of that. He thrust forward, wrapping his legs around Duo's waist as he screamed to the fading twilight.
Duo's resolve was broken, and the pace was set. A bit awkward at first, having been a while for both men, and being their first time, but eventually they found a rhythm. A fast, hard, excruciating rhythm.
Moans and groans and odd sounds were offered up to the darkening sky as the two raced each other to completion. Duo's hand, and a few strokes that brushed against Heero's sweet spot sent the ex-soldier tumbling over the razor edge only moments before Duo himself.
Duo felt himself falling back down to Earth minutes later, and with him... all of those bad sides he'd ignored through the day fell down too.
What the hell was he thinking?
Just that'd he'd just had the most incredible time of his life.
With a patient, that tiny voice returned.
With a kindred soul, he spat back. He'd felt that connection. That couldn't be faked.
That thought was reaffirmed with one look at Heero's face. It was beautifully devoid of anything and everything except pure bliss, the older man still coming back down himself.
"That..." Heero began, "That was amazing."
Duo almost purred as he rolled himself off of his lover. "Mmhmm," he smiled. "Incredible."
"Yeah. I... I haven't felt like that in years." Heero curled into Duo's side, nuzzling against the other man's neck. "And I can't wait to feel like that again," he breathed huskily.
The whisper sent shivers down Duo's spine, and he smiled, his hand gently moving across the skin of Heero's hip.
"Me either. But think we can take this inside? It'll be getting chilly soon," Duo replied. Indeed, the air was quickly cooling the sheen of sweat on their bare skin. "I've got a nice queen size bed that would be really nice to make love on...."
"Hn. What?" Heero blinked up at him. "Make... love?"
"Yeah," Duo chuckled. "Isn't that what we were doing?"
"Hn...."
"Well what would you call it then?" Duo asked, looking warmly at his partner.
"Sex..." was the simple response. "Just... sex."
Duo blinked and took a moment to fully comprehend the statement.
"Just... sex?" He repeated, sitting up. Was he wrong? Hadn't there been something more there than mere release?
Heero frowned. "Yes. I don't see why you're shocked. You know this can't go anywhere, right? You know that this was...."
"What?" Duo snapped, standing up, scrambling for clothes. He manged to get his pants back on, but didn't bother with shoes or shirt or underwear. His hair was mussed, bits and strands escaping from his braid.
"It was just sex? After I just told you that I don't do that..." he waved a hand at the ground where Heero still sat. "After I told you that I'm not like that... you can say it's just sex? Heero... I.... I am not some whore that does this just for the fun of it. I might be your therapist... but I draw the line at using something like this as some twisted therapy. I only do that if I feel something. If... if you didn't feel it too... then... I..."
Duo couldn't stand it anymore. He knew going in that it could never work, that there were problems to face... but still.... his heart cracked a little as he turned on his heel and stalked off back the way they'd come.
"Duo! Duo? Duo...."
He heard Heero floundering behind him, grabbing after his own clothes. Tears fought for freedom from indigo-violet eyes as Duo broke out into an all-out run. He didn't stop, didn't listen, he didn't look back as he ran. He'd just thrown the truck into gear when Heero rushed from the treeline. Duo fought the tears, pulling away in the darkness, leaving a slim silhouette standing behind him.
tbc...
Author's Insane Inserts: AHHHHH!!!! Cruel evil Heero! Is he just using poor Duo? Is there really a 'connection'? Or is poor Duo just being a naive romantic? You'll have to wait to find out.
And the songs for this chapter were all Nickleback. S.E.X was that first little snippet (duh) and I'd Come For You was the main one. And so sorry for the delay. This chapter was hell to get just right, and I've been a very busy bee lately.
Please don't flame me for this chapter... it has been my first ever attempt at writing a lemon, and I think I did pretty good for my first time. I think it was interesting and not too overly graphic.
Thanks to Kassidy for the brilliant idea of giving Dorothy a hair fetish as a kind of comic relief, and thanks to Delana for letting me borrow her prom dress as Kaori's gown. And as for Releena's dress... I borrowed the design from a catalogue called Pyramid Collection. The dress's caption is 'Love Goddess' and it's name is the Scarlet Lace-up Dress. I'll probably borrow a lot more clothes from them. *grins* I love this book.
And PS: This is a very, very long chapter.
Oh, and thanks bunches to Foxxy for the beta. Huggles!
Chapter Seven
"Let him know that you know best,
'Cause after all, you do know best."
Monday, Two Days Later
"What about this one?"
Releena held up an emerald silk dress.
"Hmm... I like green. Maybe." Kaori said, contemplating herself in the full-length mirror. The dress was pale blue velvet and fit like a glove, hugging every little curve she had, some a little tightly and some a little looser, testimony to the fact that the dress was not her size.
Releena and Kaori might look close to the same size, but Releena was a good inch and a half taller, and at least a few inches wider around waist and hip.... even if Kaori was more well endowed in the bust area. And since Kaori had no party dresses... the lawyer was her only hope.
"I like that one," Releena nodded. Kaori frowned.
"Maybe. It's just a little.... revealing." It had a tube top and ended very high up on the thigh.
"Huh. Maybe...." Releena flicked through a few more of her dresses laying on the bed. "This one."
The dress she held up was a darker blue, made out of a satiny material. On the hangar, it seemed to be sleeveless, the back dipping down dangerously low. The dress was slender, meant to fit like a second skin from chest to thigh, where it gently flared out. More blue gauze sheer flitted around, peeking from several slits in the skirt.
"Ohh..." Kaori cooed, catching the dress Releena tossed to her. She immediately shrugged out of the velvet tube dress, standing with just her underwear on as she slipped the new dress on. Releena helped, zipping up the back zipper, and then Kaori was back in front of the mirror. The dress looked awesome, Releena admitted. And looked better on Kaori than it did her. It fit snugly- very snugly- around the bust, but the dress, meant to fit like a second skin, was clinging to Kaori's curves loosely, but not too loosely. Releena grasped two lenghts of gauzy ribbon, attached to the front of the chest, and tied them around Kaori's neck, so that it was more of a halter sleeve than sleeveless.
Kaori sighed. It was a beautiful dress. But it had a flaw... it showed her flaws.
She held out her arm, admired the long, harsh scratches against her pale, smooth skin.
"I have gloves," Releena said with a little sigh, fetching a pair of sapphire satin gloves, tugging them onto Kaori's fingers. Pulled all the way up, they reached her thin upper arm, effectively hiding the worst of the marks.
"A little foundation and powder will cover up these," Releena softly traced the few still-visible wounds before leaning her head on Kaori's shoulder.
"I wish you wouldn't do that," she murmered into the younger girl's hair.
Kaori sighed. It was a long feud. Releena had been the first person to ever find out about her depression, and her cutting. And until the other day, with Trowa... she'd been the only person besides Heero to ever know.
"I know," Kaori whispered. Releena nodded, leaning back.
"Kaori... you are beautiful. I wish you'd take better care of yourself. Stop the cutting. Start eating again. Go to that psychologist you're making Heero go to. You know, it's hypocritical," Releena snapped, suddenly angry. "Making him think he's crazy, when you're just as bad off as he is."
"He knows about me," Kaori whispered.
"Who? Heero? Duh."
"No. Dr. Barton." Her voice was low. Releena's eyes narrowed.
"...."
"He came by my house to drop off some copies of the forms I signed. He... he saw."
"What did you say?"
"That it was my business. He said he thought I should tell Quatre."
Releena nodded. "He's right, you know? Quatre has a right to...."
"No. I stand here every day and watch him get worse and worse," her eyes misted, but her voice was firm. "Knowing that there's nothing more I can do. There's nothing else I can do to save him. I will not place my burdens on his shoulders. I can't do that, 'Leena. Can't you see? I can't."
Releena looked at Kaori in the mirror. Their eyes met and held in the reflection. Releena sighed. She knew that Kaori's will was as strong as steel. Whether she agreed with her friends choices or not, it wasn't her place to intervene. Her brother's brother-in-law was family, but this was Kaori's secret to tell. Not hers.
"Fine." She lifted a hand to the long, loose, straight black tresses of Kaori's hair, changing the subject like she always did. Like she always would. "Will you do something with your hair for Friday?"
Kaori shrugged. "Don't know yet."
"Dorothy's going to come over. She'd love to get her hands on your hair, you know?"
Kaori nodded. Dorothy Catalonia was a friend of theirs, and she had a hair fetish in the extreme. She had actually attended law school with Releena for a while, before she'd quite upon deciding that cosmetology was the better career choice for her. And she was good at what she did. Very good.
"Sure. Why not?"
Friday afternoon
Their usual Friday session was in full swing. Duo had slowly broken through over the past three sessions. He'd gotten the quiet man to open up, to talk at length about... well, at little bit at least. He'd been able to glimpse inside of Heero, and see what was truly going on. He knew he still didn't have the whole story, but he hoped that with all these little breakthroughs, he was getting closer.
And the closer he got, the more Duo was certain of one thing. This was no ordinary patient.
And Duo's feelings were quickly transcending the mere Doctor-Patient bond. If they had ever even started as such.
At present, Duo was listening as he managed to get Heero to talk. And he talked about Kaori. If Duo ever gave Heero reason to speak... it was always about Kaori. It seemed that his sister was somewhat of a life-line and a catalyst for his suicide attempts at the same time. It was odd, and Duo was intent of figuring it out.
"I always felt safe with her. Stupid. I was the one saving her. But I felt safe... I felt... protected. She was my favorite place to be. Wherever she was. But... I don't think that was what you meant. My favorite place to go... it's so peaceful... there's a waterfall, and a river, and the air shimmers, and..." Heero stood up suddenly, his eyes distant. "I can't do this. Come on..."
"What?" Duo questioned, his mind suddenly on full alert, coming right back down out of his thoughts. He had been paying attention, but this sudden turn around surprised him.
"Come on." Heero said impatiently, hand held out.. "You said you wanted to know about my favorite place. I'm gonna show it to you. It's... just... I can't explain it. It was my and Kaori's favorite spot. It's where we'd hide from all the bad things. Come on!"
Heero grabbed Duo's hand when it was obvious the younger man wasn't responding. He tugged Duo onto his feet, out the door.
A very dazed and confused Duo followed meekly behind him, thanking the Lord that he wasn't all that interested in the party later anyway- and that no one would miss his presence there, or in his office, since Heero was his last meeting today. Heero pulled him along, down the corridor of the hospital.
"My car's closer," he pointed out, motioning to the employee's garage exit. Heero just nodded and they changed directions. It never crossed his mind what he was doing. Duo was simply focused on the fact that Heero seemed more motivated than usual- more animated. And that's what mattered- Heero. Not just Heero's rehabilitation, but Heero.
Duo unlocked the black four by four and made Heero buckle up before he put the truck in reverse.
"Left at the light," Heero said. "Do you know where Sandrock Park is?"
Duo nodded. A little, tiny wildlife preserve just outside town. He was becoming interested. Heero was showing enthusiasm about something. Surely this qualified as a breakthrough?
"Go to the north entrance." Duo nodded again, as he pulled out of the parking garage.
After a few minutes, Duo frowned at the silence that had overcome the truck with Heero just staring out the window, and turned the radio on just a little. It was still playing his Dark Horse CD. And it just happened to be on his most hated song...
"S is for the simple need,
E is for the ecstasy,
"X is just to mark the spot...."
Duo blushed, quickly hitting the shuffle button.
Ah... better. The strains were beautiful. He hummed along with the first verse.
"Just one more moment, that's all that's needed,
"Like wounded soldiers, in need of healing...
"Time to be honest, this time I'm pleading...
"Please don't dwell on it... cause I didn't mean it...
"I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground....
"But it dosen't matter 'Cause
"I made it up, Forgive me now,
"And every day I spend away,
"My soul's inside out,
"Gotta be some way
"That I can make it up,
"To you now, somehow...
"By now you know that....
"I'd come for you,
"No one, but you...
"Yes I'd come for you...
"But only if you told me to..
"I'd fight for you,
"I'd lie- it's true,
"Give my life for you...
"You know I'd always come for you."
By the time the chorus came in, Duo was singing along at full volume. The rest of the short trip passed by relatively uneventful, with Heero mostly ignoring him.
As soon as Duo parked at the north end, Heero was out and talking, though.
"Come on. I've never shown anyone this place before. I don't think Kaori ever even showed Quatre. It's just our own special little place that no one knows of."
Duo followed along as Heero lead him into the woods, following a marked walking trail. And he followed when Heero veered left at a very large oak tree, leaving the path and making his way through brush and trees. He really couldn't see anything special about the middle of the woods.
He'd followed Heero in silence for at least twenty minutes. Duo estimated they'd covered almost a mile with Heero's quick pace and determination. And then Heero stopped. Duo hadn't been paying much attention, and he nearly stumbled into Heero's back. When he looked up...
His breath caught in his lungs. It was beautiful. The creek that had been shallow and slow by the walking trails, and by the picnic areas, was here. But it ran swift and deep, and about twenty meters away it tumbled down a series of waterfalls of different sizes. The mist thrown up cast rainbows in the air, and the woods fell away to a few meters of soft grass before turning to the boulders of the river's edges.
God... he could see why anyone would love this place.
...........................................................
Meanwhile
Dorothy Catalonia was drop dead gorgeous. A friend of Releena's for a long time, the girl- sporting a generously long lenth of hair herself and steely gray eyes- jumped at any and all chances to get her fingers into Kaori's hair.
Dorothy loved doing Releena's hair. For the party, she'd placed a generous amount of curlers in the fellow blond's hair, and had teased it for hours with comb, pick, and hair barrettes until the end result was a beautiful updo of glistening honey curls that bobbed with every graceful step of the young lawyer.
But Kaori's hair was a different matter. Dorothy adored Kaori's hair, the entire knee length mass of it. She'd fiddled and faddled for almost two hours, and still hadn't been satisfied with the results.
"Ah, Doro," Kaori groaned. "My neck is getting a crick in it. Just make up your mind... I don't care how it looks!"
"You should take pride in your hair," Dorothy replied, her eyes glued to the mass. "It's the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen."
"That's just cause you have a hair fetish," Releena piped in.
Dorothy frowned comicaly, not the least put out. "This is true," she nodded. "This is true."
It took her another hour... another hour with Kaori complaining and Releena laughing the whole time... before she was happy with the outcome. She'd waved Kaori's hair, so that it fell in loose cascades down her back. Then, she'd pulled up part of the hair into a ponytail, wrapped around itself a few times to form a half bun, a loose knot with waves falling out of it stylishly. It was terribly simple, but when paired with the gorgeous dress, it was perfect.
Releena forced Kaori to borrow some jewelry, a sparkly empress choker with chandelier earrings and a few twinkling crystal hair barrettes, all in silver. And Dorothy insisted on doing both girl's make-up. She went heavy on Releena, using a bright blush and dark eyeshadows that complimented the scarlet spaghetti strap dress she'd chosen. The dress flirted playfully around her calves and laced up on either side of the torso, giving an appearance of a corset. A lacy pattern adorned the top, and the skirt flared out in a swirly length of gauze and lace tiers. Red strappy heels and ruby red lipstick completed her look.
Again, she went simple with Kaori. A sweep of light silvery blue eyeshadow, a brush of pink blush and pale pink lipstick. Kaori had already taken foundation and mineral powder to cover her scars, and no one could tell anything was amiss when she pulled on the gloves.
Dorothy smiled at a job well done when both of her friends stood before her in ther ballroom finery.
"You'll knock 'em dead, girls!"
Back across town...
Heero had fallen exceptionally quiet.
"What's wrong?" Duo asked, tearing his eyes away from the scenery as Heero perched on top of a chest high boulder.
"Just... memories."
"Care to talk?"
"Hn. Kaori and I... we used to love this place when we were kids. We'd hide out here when... when Odin did something..." Heero's voice fell quiet, but he picked back up after a silent moment. "I loved Kaori. I still do, more than anything. And yet... she's the one who makes me want to stop living," he sighed.
Duo blinked. Now... that was something. It confirmed his suspicions, but it didn't explain them. He remained quiet and passive, leaning gently against the boulder as he waited.
"Iraq wasn't so hard." Heero began. "It was pretty easy for the most part. The... killing... It... they were all vile. I mean... they had families, loved ones. They were doing what they thought was right. But so was I. I was protecting my family. Kaori, Quatre, 'Leena... all the people I knew, all the people in my life. I could justify it to myself, so I could do it. I could take a life.
"And then... one day, it was a simple mission. All I had to do was plant explosives in the building. The insurgents were storing weapons and ammo there. Two of my team were executed there just the day before. C-4 in all the right places, get out. Boom, it was done. Ten insurgents died in the blast. The rest of my team and I swept the area, when I found a girl. Dead, in the debris. She was about ten, probably younger. She... looked.... just.... like... Kaori. Not really, but I could see my sister in that heart-shaped face. And I'd killed her. We found out later that she'd been kidnapped by the insurgents, and had been brutally raped more than once. Every time I looked at her, every time I closed my eyes, I saw Kaori. My sister. I saw my sister in that little girl's face. And I had killed her. She'd done nothing wrong..."
Duo listened with tear filled eyes as Heero's voice broke with emotion.
"It changed me. I couldn't take another life after that. I screwed up too many times, and finally, after I broke my arm, I got an honorable discharge. The purple heart is still in my dresser drawer, though I never deserved it. I tried to settle back down... but I still have nightmares. Every night, I see my sister's face... and I see myself killing her. I know what I'm capable of... and I can't let myself hurt her."
"You won't," Duo finally spoke, keeping his voice clear through sheer will-power.
"I can," Heero added. "I can."
"You can," Duo nodded. "But you won't. Everyone has done things, Heero. Everyone has a past. I understand that a lot better than you think I do, but..."
Heero laughed, a bit harshly. "How can you understand that? To feel like you'll murder anyone you care about?"
"I grew up in an orphanage," Duo said softly. "I was in it when it burnt to the ground, taking everyone I loved with it. I escaped, along with another. She died three days later. Five years after that, my adopted parents died in a car crash. At my next foster home, my foster brother committed suicide, and our foster mother died of pneumonia. Everyone I've ever loved has died. So I understand what it feels like to lose everyone. I understand what it feels like to think you'll lose everyone you care for."
Heero was silent as he assimilated all of this. Duo turned, looking up at him, trying to fathom the expression on that handsome face.
"We're a lot alike, aren't we?" Heero asked quietly, at last, slipping from the boulder to stand beside his psychologist.
Duo laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess. Funny how things turn out, huh?"
"Hilarious," Heero deadpanned, the reached for Duo, yanking the man close and pressing his lips against the young doctor's.
"...."
Duo gasped in shock as Heero's lips crushed down onto his. Heero took advantage of the psychologist's shock, deepening the kiss quickly. In all of Duo's observations or fantasies... he'd never had Heero pegged as the ruthless type of person to initiate such a rough kiss.
But all protests Duo had died as Heero's tongue rubbed against his with fervor and passion and Duo realized that... damn... his patient was a very good kisser. All rational thought, all memory that he should not be doing this with a patient- an emotionally unstable patient, at that- died in the flood of heat that swamped him. Within a heartbeat, Duo was returning the kiss, pressing his body into Heero's, tangling his hands in that wonderfully messy brown hair as even their depressing conversation fled his mind.
It was Heero's turn to be shocked as the doctor went from tense, to pliant, to writhing against him. He fought to regain the control that had just been his moments ago, but to little avail. It seemed to be a stale-mate, for they were both just as passionate in that hot mating of lips, tongue and teeth.
Without asking for or seeking approval or consent, he moved his hands to the slender psychologist's belt. He fumbled with the buckle before he tackled the zipper, slipping inside to seek out the treasures hidden there.
Duo hissed into the kiss as Heero's hand wrapped around him, extricated him from the confines of his slacks. He thrust into the possesive but still gentle touch.
"More," he growled against Heero's lips as the older man moved, lowering his head to feast on Duo's jaw. "Ah.... Heero..."
But the hand on him was slow and gentle, at odds with the fervent mouth suckling at his skin. Duo thrust against Heero's hand, demanding more attention.
"More," he repeated, his hands tightening around those smooth muscles. Obediently, Heero's hand moved a little faster, a little harder, jerking Duo off. Duo couldn't stand the torture. His breathing was getting labored, and he could feel those lips against his neck.
"Ah... Heero... I'm... I'm gonna... I'm gonna come..."
Heero leaned back up, his lips next to Duo's ears, nibbling at the flesh there.
"But you said you wouldn't cum unless I told you to... remember? Back in the car?"
Duo's eyes flew open. Was Heero joking? Or did he mean that? God, it had just been a song! Indigo eyes met prussian ones, and Heero smirked at Duo's confused look.
Oh, Lord, Duo thought, a little panic and common sense penetrating the haze of pleasure, dampening the impending climax. What have I gotten myself into?
It occurred just a little too late that he was alone in the middle of nowhere with a man who had violent tendencies... a man whose fingers were curled possessively around his cock. Heero gave a slow tug, and rationality flew the coop... again.
"Nnnnhhh... tease...." Duo managed.
Apparently this was highly funny because Heero smirked and chuckled before finally removing his hand, leaving Duo standing there, fully hard. Heero's fingers busied themselves with the buttons on Duo's shirt. Duo regained enough brain cells to see what was happening- but not enough to see the bad sides to this. His own fingers tugged Heero's shirt up, away from the waist band of those jeans.
The sun cast a ethereal orange glow over the area as both men divested the other of clothes.
"Heero... This is a bad idea," Duo managed, though he was steadily kissing any available part of the other's body.
"Hnn... probably," Heero agreed, dragging Duo down onto the ground. The ground was firm, but the grass was thick and soft and cool against Duo's heated skin.
"We could get in a lot of trouble for this," Duo panted.
"Probably," was the same reply before Heero's body pressed down on top of him, lips reclaiming Duo's. Heero's fingers trailed across Duo's skin, tweaking a hardened nipple before moving on, moving down until his hands slipped along Duo's thigh, heading back.
Duo caught Heero's fingers only a hair's breadth away from his puckered entrance.
"I don't do bottom," he whispered against Heero's lips. "'Least not the first time, anyways."
Truthfully, Duo had never found someone he trusted enough to give up that little bit of control, but obviously it didn't bother Heero in the least, because he flipped them over, rolling until Duo rested on top.
"Then get a move on," the blue eyed man urged impatiently, pulling his knees up and spreading his thighs.
Duo groaned at the invitation, and bent to kiss along Heero's jaw.
"Heero... in case you didn't know... I'm not into carrying around lube... or protection... in my pockets. I don't do this kind of thing."
"Me either," the other admitted, capturing Duo's lips in a quite calm, gentle kiss. He knew the hidden question in those words. "I'm clean, I had Doctor Barton do the tests while I was in the clinic."
"Me too," Duo replied. "Sally Po is my personal doctor. I was tested four months ago. But...." Duo pressed his lips against Heero's neck. "I've... it's been a year..."
Heero nodded in understanding; it had been awhile for him, too. Meeting Duo's eyes, he drew the other's hand to his lips, sucking on the two middle fingers. Duo groaned, and rubbed himself against Heero's thigh. Eventually Heero released the captive fingers, and Duo immediately went to work.
Heero must not have done this lately, either, Duo thought. His channel was tight, so tight. Duo groaned as he prepared the his soon-to-be-lover, his fingers slipping in and out, streatching him. He grinned when his fingers brushed over a certain spot, and Heero arched into him.
"Ahh... Duo, Duo..."
Duo loved the way his name sounded on Heero's lips, in that breathless, gasping voice. It suddenly occurred to him that it was the first time his patient had ever used his first name. It had always been 'Dr. Maxwell' before. Duo resolved to hear his name fall from that mouth as often as possible, and searched again for his lover's prostate.
"Ah... Damn, Duo... I need... you.... NOW!"
"You've got me," Duo replied breathlessly as he removed his fingers. He tried to remain slow and gentle as he entered his new lover... but Heero would have none of that. He thrust forward, wrapping his legs around Duo's waist as he screamed to the fading twilight.
Duo's resolve was broken, and the pace was set. A bit awkward at first, having been a while for both men, and being their first time, but eventually they found a rhythm. A fast, hard, excruciating rhythm.
Moans and groans and odd sounds were offered up to the darkening sky as the two raced each other to completion. Duo's hand, and a few strokes that brushed against Heero's sweet spot sent the ex-soldier tumbling over the razor edge only moments before Duo himself.
Duo felt himself falling back down to Earth minutes later, and with him... all of those bad sides he'd ignored through the day fell down too.
What the hell was he thinking?
Just that'd he'd just had the most incredible time of his life.
With a patient, that tiny voice returned.
With a kindred soul, he spat back. He'd felt that connection. That couldn't be faked.
That thought was reaffirmed with one look at Heero's face. It was beautifully devoid of anything and everything except pure bliss, the older man still coming back down himself.
"That..." Heero began, "That was amazing."
Duo almost purred as he rolled himself off of his lover. "Mmhmm," he smiled. "Incredible."
"Yeah. I... I haven't felt like that in years." Heero curled into Duo's side, nuzzling against the other man's neck. "And I can't wait to feel like that again," he breathed huskily.
The whisper sent shivers down Duo's spine, and he smiled, his hand gently moving across the skin of Heero's hip.
"Me either. But think we can take this inside? It'll be getting chilly soon," Duo replied. Indeed, the air was quickly cooling the sheen of sweat on their bare skin. "I've got a nice queen size bed that would be really nice to make love on...."
"Hn. What?" Heero blinked up at him. "Make... love?"
"Yeah," Duo chuckled. "Isn't that what we were doing?"
"Hn...."
"Well what would you call it then?" Duo asked, looking warmly at his partner.
"Sex..." was the simple response. "Just... sex."
Duo blinked and took a moment to fully comprehend the statement.
"Just... sex?" He repeated, sitting up. Was he wrong? Hadn't there been something more there than mere release?
Heero frowned. "Yes. I don't see why you're shocked. You know this can't go anywhere, right? You know that this was...."
"What?" Duo snapped, standing up, scrambling for clothes. He manged to get his pants back on, but didn't bother with shoes or shirt or underwear. His hair was mussed, bits and strands escaping from his braid.
"It was just sex? After I just told you that I don't do that..." he waved a hand at the ground where Heero still sat. "After I told you that I'm not like that... you can say it's just sex? Heero... I.... I am not some whore that does this just for the fun of it. I might be your therapist... but I draw the line at using something like this as some twisted therapy. I only do that if I feel something. If... if you didn't feel it too... then... I..."
Duo couldn't stand it anymore. He knew going in that it could never work, that there were problems to face... but still.... his heart cracked a little as he turned on his heel and stalked off back the way they'd come.
"Duo! Duo? Duo...."
He heard Heero floundering behind him, grabbing after his own clothes. Tears fought for freedom from indigo-violet eyes as Duo broke out into an all-out run. He didn't stop, didn't listen, he didn't look back as he ran. He'd just thrown the truck into gear when Heero rushed from the treeline. Duo fought the tears, pulling away in the darkness, leaving a slim silhouette standing behind him.
tbc...
Author's Insane Inserts: AHHHHH!!!! Cruel evil Heero! Is he just using poor Duo? Is there really a 'connection'? Or is poor Duo just being a naive romantic? You'll have to wait to find out.
And the songs for this chapter were all Nickleback. S.E.X was that first little snippet (duh) and I'd Come For You was the main one. And so sorry for the delay. This chapter was hell to get just right, and I've been a very busy bee lately.
Please don't flame me for this chapter... it has been my first ever attempt at writing a lemon, and I think I did pretty good for my first time. I think it was interesting and not too overly graphic.
Thanks to Kassidy for the brilliant idea of giving Dorothy a hair fetish as a kind of comic relief, and thanks to Delana for letting me borrow her prom dress as Kaori's gown. And as for Releena's dress... I borrowed the design from a catalogue called Pyramid Collection. The dress's caption is 'Love Goddess' and it's name is the Scarlet Lace-up Dress. I'll probably borrow a lot more clothes from them. *grins* I love this book.