Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ How To Save A Life ❯ Chapter Nine ( Chapter 9 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

AN: Eh... another lemon in this chapter. You've been warned.
Chapter Nine
"Lay down a list of what is wrong,
"The things you've told him all along."
Friday Night, into Sunday Morning
I see you there, don't know where you came from...
Quatre looked around the tidy little livingroom. It was neat and clean, if a little bland. It was done in greens and beige, and was simple, sparse, and almost perfect. Like a magazine. Pictures were placed here and there in simple, neat little silver frames. An aged picture of a pretty young couple. Another featuring the same couple, a little older, with a little girl, maybe about two, and a tiny bundle. Atop the mantel was a picture of the woman and a small girl, though the picture was newer than the others.
Unaware but you're still from someone...
"My family," Trowa said. He pointed to the one of the whole family. My parents. Leia and Michael Barton. Cathy, my older sister."
"And the little one?" Quatre traced the edge of a silver frame.
"Marimaia. My half sister. She's only six, right now. Sometimes I wonder how Mom can handle her. After the pneumonia, Mom's never been that strong."
Quatre smiled softly. After finding out that Kaori had left without him, he'd taken Trowa up on his offer of a ride home... to Trowa's house. He knew what he wanted, and he knew that Trowa wanted to give it. He let his eyes drift back to Trowa's, and he saw that tiny frown upon the taller one's face. No. That wouldn't do. He didn't want Trowa to be sad. Not tonight. Tonight was just for them, and no one else. Just for them.
Don't appear to care that I saw you, that I want you...
Quatre lifted up and pressed a soft kiss to Trowa's lips.
"It'll be alright," he whispered, before pressing his mouth firmly against it's mate. There was more passion now than before. Quatre offered himself up to that kiss, pouring his soul into that meeting of lips, and tongue and teeth.
Trowa was gentle, but thorough. He explored every recess of Quatre's mouth, stroking and igniting a fire deep inside of his smaller counterpart.
What's your name, cause I have to know it...
Quatre was mildly startled when his back came into contact with the wall. When had they moved?
"If you don't want this," Trowa whispered against his lips, "Just say." He moved his lips to nibble on a earlobe, to explore the chin, jaw, neck even as his hands moved to touch every available inch of the violinist.
"Want this," Quatre panted with a low little moan. "Need this. Ahhh... need you."
"You've got me," Trowa said beside his ear. Softly, he wrapped his arms around the small one's waist, lifting him up. No matter how much he wanted this... he was going to do this right. Slow, gentle, and with a bed. Quatre was an angel, and deserved nothing less.
Quatre gasped when his back touched the cool silkiness of the sheets. His eyes fluttered open to stare into the Emerald ones above him. A soft smile graced his lips.
"Make love with me, Trowa," he said, and Trowa proceeded to do just that. The doctor divested his soon-to-be lover of clothes, following each article with small kisses and tender nips to the newly bared skin. He took his time, tormenting and teasing and tasting. From that slender neck, to the smooth skin of the shoulder. Brushing down those slim arms and back up again. Down across pale skin to dusky nipples. From there down a trim waist, to narrow hips. Working his way back, over the tight, firm rear and downwards, past creamy thighs, to a weak spot behind the knees. All the way down, past calves to plant a tiny kiss on the sole of his foot before working his way back up again.
You let me in and begin to show it...
Quatre was vocal, voicing his pleasure with small moans and purrs of contentment. Trowa's hands brushed softly up Quatre's now bare thighs, tracing small circles, deliberately avoiding the one spot Quatre craved his touch. Up and up, closer and closer, but never close enough. Quatre pushed his hips up, seeking contact, but Trowa still eluded him.
Quatre groaned, his hands leaving their purchase on the sheets, moving to Trowa. Fingers tugged at the clothes he still wore.
"Wanna touch you," Quatre gasped out, fingers still seeking to remove the shirt, fumbling with the buttons. It was Trowa's turn to gasp as those slender digits brushed across his bare chest, caressing his nipples, pushing the shirt even further off of his arms. He finally took mercy on the smaller man beneath him, shrugging out of the shirt. Undeterred, Quatre's hands moved to the buckle of the belt. He slipped it loose, followed by the button, then slowly drew the zipper down.
As his fingers slipped inside, Quatre couldn't help but smile. It seemed his new partner didn't feel the need for underwear. Trowa moaned as Quatre pushed the pants down, but Quatre didn't tease. His fingers immediately sought out the treasure there. Trowa's breath caught in his throat, then tumbled out as Quatre moved his hand slowly, gently over his now rigid length. Intent on returning all pleasure ten-fold, Trowa stopped his own teasing and softly brushed his fingers up and down Quatre. A shiver went through the blond, and aqua eyes closed under the assault. Trowa brought his lips back to Quatre's, catching the moan with his own mouth, and returning it with his own.
Trowa ghosted his fingers back across Quatre's thigh, gently fondling the sac, before working his way lower still. Quatre arched up, his breath quaking and fingers trembling for a moment, when Trowa's finger slipped across that most intimate spot.
Trowa kept his touch gentle and soft, merely circling that tiny pink opening. Then he withdrew, and with a firey kiss, he leaned up, leaving the bed.
We're terrified 'cause we're heading for it, just might get it...
At Quatre's confused look, Trowa smiled and ran a teasing hand down Quatre's leg.
"I need something to make it easier," he explained softly. "Unless... unless you've changed your..."
"No," Quatre smiled, sitting up, bringing his lips to Trowa's in a tender kiss. "I want this." He kissed him again, deeply, passionately.
Trowa just smiled. "Hold that thought, love. I'll be back."
Quatre smiled after his soon to be lover as he lay back against the sheets once more. He was most certainly not completely innocent. He'd played around a bit when he was younger, both before and after he'd discovered his sexuality. Once or twice, he and Kaori had experimented together. But he'd never went all the way with anyone. At first, he was simply shy and unsure and wanting to wait. But by the time he felt ready for that next step, fate had intervened and rendered him too sick and weak for anything, much less physical intimacy. Now... there would be no more waiting. He loved Trowa, and he would not leave this world without having made love with him.
Trowa came back, a bottle of hand lotion in his hand. Quatre appraised the unashamedly nude body striding towards him, and a flush of anticipation crawled across his skin. Trowa's body was long and lean. Athletic and strong.
"Lotion?" Quatre asked. He knew there would be pain involved, and that lube would ease the pain. But hand lotion?
Trowa's smile was sheepish. "I don't do this often. This," he settled the bottle down on the edge of the bed, "is the best I can find. Don't worry, love. I'll make it work." He stole a kiss. "I'll make this wonderful for you." Trowa didn't know for certain, but his was a quick mind. Quatre had been sick since a young age. And if Quatre had ever done this before, it couldn't have been very many times. He was determined to make this a beautiful night.
Hear the song playin' on background...
He leaned into the kiss, pushing Quatre down further into the soft mattress. With gentle but insistent pressure, he pushed Quatre's legs apart, pulling the up. Quatre understood and pulled his legs apart and up. Trowa reached for the lotion, pouring a bit onto his fingers before returning to circling that small opening. He didn't tease this time, but softly pushed a slippery finger inside. He moved with gentle but firm motions, determined to prepare Quatre thoroughly. Quatre found the pressure different, but not unpleasant. Trowa worked another finger in, searching for a certain spot inside that velvet channel.
With Quatre's unhushed gasp, and arching back, Trowa knew he'd found it. Rainbow lights danced across Quatre's vision as Trowa brushed across his prostate.
All alone but you're turnin' up now...
"Hurry, hurry," he chanted. "Trowa... I need... I need you."
Trowa had worked his way up to three fingers into that tight, unbelievably tight, channel. Quatre moaned with the momentary loss as Trowa removed his fingers, but Quatre knew something else was coming. Something better.
Trowa reached, finding the lotion bottle again. But Quatre's hand beat him to it, pouring the lotion onto his own hand. With eyes locked on his lover's, Quatre ran his hand up and down Trowa's length, spreading the lotion, and the tiny droplets of pre-cum. Trowa kissed him once, then settled between his legs.
Trowa took Quatre's hand in his, and staring deep into those aqua eyes, he positioned himself and moved forward. Quatre's eyes drifted shut at that first sensation.
And everyone is risin' to meet you, to greet you...
There was a flicker of pain, but nothing more. It was more uncomfortable than painful, and that was it. Quatre's eyes opened to stare back into green pools as Trowa slowly, slowly sank in.
Once buried to the hilt, Trowa paused, waited for Quatre's body to grow used to the fullness. After a few moments, Quatre nodded in asnwer to an unasked question and lifted his hips up, bringing them closer. Trowa moaned, and withdrew gently until only the head remained in. With a soft smile, he plunged back in.
Quatre gasped at the sensation of being filled.
"Oh, oh, Trowa..."
Trowa leaned down as he started a slow, almost intolerably slow rhythm. A part of him ached to speed towards the inevitable end, but he reigned it in, wanting to drive Quatre insane with pleasure, crazy with the wonder of it all.
I'm breakin' down and you're breathin' slowly...
It might have been only minutes, it might have been hours. Quatre couldn't say. His breath caught and then tumbled out as twinkling light played across his vision. It was Trowa's face he saw as he tumbled over that gilded edge. It was Trowa's name he called as wave after wave pleasure washed over him. And it was his name that fell from Trowa's lips only moments after when his new lover came upon his own climax.
Even as a glow of peace and serenity settled over them, Trowa shifted to his side, pulling his lover close and burying his face in now damp golden locks.
"Love you," Quatre whispered against Trowa's neck.
Trowa's heart gave a little squeeze, and he closed his eyes against the tears. He'd searched for years for this. He wasn't going to take it for granted, or give up on it.
"I love you too, my angel," he returned, pulling his smaller lover closer. He was not going to loose him so soon after finding him.
Say the word and I will be your man, your man, say when...
Come close, then even closer...
"Meilan..."
Releena stood behind him as he talked, pouring out his soul. She'd went home with him after the party, after Kaori, after Quatre all left. She'd hoped to understand.
And the story he told broke her heart. He sobbed his heart out as he spoke about marrying his high school sweet-heart right after graduation. About the sweet, perfect year they'd spent together. Struggling to balance marriage with starting college, the passion they shared with the differences that made life interesting.
We bring it in but go no further....
Releena listened as he told her in broken speech about the argument they'd had. Meilan wanting a baby, him thinking it was too soon, they were too young. The lawyer blinked back tears as she was told about Meilan rushing out into the night, not paying much attention to anything. About the late night trip to her mother's... and about the drunk driver that took her life fifteen minutes after she left.
With the strong doctor in front of her reduced to tears, Releena felt a tug at her heart. When she'd first met him at the bar, after Kaori's quick shout to her, Releena had been infatuated. Strong, handsome, exotic. Clearly intelligent, chivalrous, kind. He had an uncommon sense of honor and justice, and despite seeming a bit reluctant as far as deeper relationships went, he seemed quite loving. Releena was far from naive, but she'd immediately felt something for this man. The time she'd spent talking to him at the bar, at the party... and after... only strengthened that feeling.
We're seperate, two ghosts in one mirror...
She found her self equally intrigued with all sides of him she'd seen so far, so as he sobbed, she wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her cheek on his shoulder.
"It's alright, Wufei," she said softly. "Time will heal every wound. And scars just tell the story." She looked at the picture setting on the end table. The beautiful dark haired, dark eyed girl standing in it, a bright smile on her pouty lips. Let me have a chance, she thought to the girl's photograph. Just let me see if maybe I can make him happy.
Later on if it turns to chaos, hurricane comin' down around us...
The picture remained silent, of course, but Releena felt a little better. She wrapped her arms even tighter. "Let it out," she murmured into that strong back. "It's not weak to cry. It's strong to love someone like that. I'll be here for you."
That back trembled, and finally the sobs broke loose, pouring out along with the already present tears. She held on as he quaked, and led him to the couch.
She spent the night holding him tight, pondering these strange new feelings inside her.
See the crack, pull it back from the window, you stay low, say when...
Come across, you're lost and broken...
Kaori rushed forward with a cry at the sight of her brother.
"Oh, God! Heero? Heero!?"
He head turned to her, prussian meeting prussian. But his eyes were dazed, out of it. Kaori snatched at the bottle of antidepressants, dumping the lot into her hand.
She nearly cried in relief to see that she was only missing one dose. So he wasn't trying to kill himself? He just wanted a hardcore anti-depressant to ease his pain just a little? This was different... this was new.
"Heero?" She dropped the pills back into the bottle, and dropped the bottle as she knelt in front of him. "What the hell's happened?"
"..."
He just stared into her eyes for a moment.
"I did something stupid," he said. Kaori searched for explanation in his eyes. All she found was confusion, guilt, and utter sadness.
You're coming to, but your slow and waking....
Kaori ignored her fancy gown as she moved to take his hands in hers, clasping them together.
"Heero, talk to me. Please. I'm here, and I'm not going nowhere, no matter how stupid that something was."
He looked at her, as if seeking the truth in her words. And obviously, he found it.
"I... I had sex..."
Kaori's breath tumbled out. Her brother had been celibate for several years. But surely this was no reason to....
"With Dr. Maxwell."
Kaori blinked, then gasped. Pieces all started to fall into place. Her brother's self imposed abstinence. Of course, if anyone could get past that barrier it'd be a psychologist.
"Oh," she let out a shakey breath as Heero's grasp on her hands tightened.
"I made a mistake."
She blinked, confusion coming back.
"A mistake?"
"Kaori... I had sex with my therapist."
Kaori was silent for a moment, thinking. Heero had never reacted to anything like this. Since the war, he'd always had very simple reactions to every situation. At first, it'd been sex. He'd used sex as momentary escape from the pain. When Kaori had voiced her concerns, he'd went from bad to worse, moving on to suicide. But never had he reacted to anything in this way before.
"Heero, admittidly, it wasn't the smartest thing you've ever done. But it most certainly isn't the stupidest thing."
"I... I..."
He seemed to be struggling for words. Kaori shifted again, rising up to sit on the couch beside him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tight to her.
You start to shake, you still haven't spoken, what happened...
"Shh, Heero. Tell me exactly what happened."
"I'm not going to describe me having sex to you," Heero deadpanned, completely serious.
Kaori chuckled softly. "Alright then. At least tell me everything else. When, how. Why?"
"We were at the hospital. My appointment was almost over. And he asked me a question about my favorite place or something. I... I can't remember exactly. So I tried to describe our spot... the falls. But I couldn't. So I took him there."
Kaori nodded. That was something different. Their little spot in the park was just theirs. Neither had ever taken anyone there before, with the exception of Quatre. She'd shown him just once.
"We, talked. I told him about Iraq. About the little girl."
This surprised Kaori even more. It had taken almost a year for her to wrangle that information from him. For him to just offer it to someone he'd only known a month... was surprising.
"He told me about his past, too. We... actually had a lot in common. I don't know what I was thinking, but somehow... we ended up on the ground. One thing, then another, then he'd taken me, right there by the falls."
"Who instigated it, Heero? Who made the first move?"
"Me," he admitted hazily. "And he participated as much as I did."
"But this is about more than you and he being intimate." It was a statement, not a question.
He nodded miserably, leaning into her comfort.
"He said something about making love," he whispered.
And finally the last few pieces fell into place for her. An epiphany as bright as the sun, but soft as rain.
They're coming back and you just don't know when...
"Heero," she asked softly, quietly, "You told him it was just sex, didn't you?"
Another miserable nod, and his body started quaking with held-in sobs.
"Oh, Heero. My dear, Heero. I understand now. It's always been just sex, hasn't it?"
"Kaori... I'm scared. With him... it was so much different. I haven't ever felt like that before. There was an understanding between us."
"Are you ashamed? Do you regret it?"
"Yes... no. I don't know. I think a part of me does. I promised that I'd never use sex as an escape again. I swore to you."
Kaori's arms tightened around him as her heart flipped at the naive innocence of her anything but innocent brother.
"Heero... you didn't break your promise. Because I don't think you used sex as an escape, like you used to. You said it yourself... there was something different there. Are you sure it was sex, and not love?"
"I don't know," he sobbed. "It's always- always- been just sex. I've never felt like this. He hates me now, and it hurts knowing that I hurt him. But Kaori, its..."
"Maybe he needs to know, Heero. Maybe if he knew about the dark days, he'd understand why you're skeptical of the brighter ones."
"Maybe..." he echoed, burying his face in her shoulder. She felt the tears on her bare skin,
and she held him all the closer, knowing the best thing for the moment was time... time, and sleep.
You wanna cry but there's nothin' comin'...
Kaori slipped away hours later, as the moonlight filtered through the curtains. Her heart was soft and her eyes bright as she looked down at her brother. She let him fall gently into the warm recess she left in the couch cushion before removing his shoes and fetching a throw blanket to ward off the chill of the night. She'd forgotten to turn the heat on to chase away the cool of March. She paused to stare at him for a moment longer, taking in the innocent look of sleep.
His hair was wild and untamed, but in sleep, his face held a soft peaceful expression that she'd never, ever seen when he was awake. Moonlight glittered across his gold-dust skin as she turned to find herself a change of clothes. She watched in silent awe as the same moonlight glittered off her own skin. It was the same as his, only paler. Just like her eyes were the same as his.
She was a part of him, she thought. A small part, but nonetheless, she was his. She chose simple jeans and an even more simple shirt with three-quarter sleeves. She silently booted up her computer, searching for an address on the 'net. He was a part of her, too. And sometimes, a time came to step forward instead of setting back.
Soon, she had the address she was searching for, and as the sun began to rise and cast a rosy glow across the sky, she scribbled a quick note for Heero, grabbed her keys and left the apartment, Heero still blissfully asleep.
They're gonna push until you give in, say when...
Now we're here and it turns to chaos, hurricane comin' all around us...
Cecilia barely managed to catch her son when he stumbled by the door.
"Oh, God, Duo! What in Heaven and Earth happened?"
"'Salright, Ma," he muttered, the smile slipping away.
"The hell it is!" She exclaimed, pulling him in and shutting the door. The co-owner and operator of the Sweepers was not naive. She could feel the cold, drying sweat on his skin, and she could detect a certain musk surrounding him, but she didn't comment. Cecilia Jones didn't stick her nose in other's business... even her own son. Oh, no. But she could and would pry.
Then the crack throws you back from the window, you stay slow...
She shoved him through to his bedroom.
"Shower, now!"
"Yes ma'am," he bobbed his head, a half-smile flitting across his features. Cecilia pushed him headlong into the bathroom, knowing that even in his state, Duo could manage a shower, and that a shower would do a world of good for him.
So she busied herself in the kitchen, heating up some tomato soup and making a grilled cheese sandwich. Her son was predictable when it came to comfort foods. As she made her hands go through a once familiar routine, she thought about her Duo. It was true that Duo was not the child of her body, but of her heart.
It all began with the man and country...
Ages ago, after she and her husband had tried to conceive, she'd found out that she couldn't. Her body simply wasn't capable. Howard and she thought and considered many alternatives, and eventually, she'd seen Duo. She hadn't wanted to adopt. She'd wanted a baby, to raise from birth. But all that had changed when she'd set eyes on a chestnut haired thirteen year old. Oh, everyone had warned her that that boy was trouble, and troubled to boot. But her heart had already claimed him. It hadn't taken long for her and her mechanic husband to bring the boy home.
She eventually heard, from his own mouth, about the horrors of his past... and the reason he often tried to distance himself from her and Howard. And after years of work, she'd managed to worm her way into his heart the same as he had to her.
Every plan turns another century around again...
She was just setting the food out on the table when the bedroom door opened, and Duo stepped out. He was comfortably dressed in PJ bottoms and a tee-shirt, his hair still wet and simply pulled into a plain ponytail.
Disbelief had been the first thing Duo felt. Followed by rejection, then a numbness that had spread over his whole body. The shower had helped settle his thoughts and emotions, and things stuck out to him. He tried to distance himself from the memories as he thought back over what had happened.
And another nation fallen...
That had been the most amazing thing he'd ever experienced. Wonderful, he'd never felt that much sensation from physical intimacy before. He'd never felt so close to his partner.
Small things came forward, little things he hadn't noticed before. Heero had scars. With his war experience, it wasn't surprising. And the fact that Heero hadn't noticed, or if he had, hadn't said anything about Duo's own scars. The dark burns across his body. Had it been too dark, too fast to notice? Maybe Heero had noticed, but just didn't care? It was after all, just sex to him, right?
Maybe God can be on both sides...
"He hurt you that bad, did he?"
Duo startled out of his thoughts at Cecilia's soft voice. What? Did she... He smiled weakly as he noticed the bowl of soup on the table and set down.
"How'd you guess?"
"Child, I'm your mother. It's my job to know these things. And besides, you show up pale and shaken, your clothes hanging off of you, your hair mussed, all sweaty and smelling of sex. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."
Up and gone, never understood why...
Duo grabbed a spoon and tucked into the soup, purposefully ignoring his mother.
Cecilia sighed and sank into an empty chair across from him.
"Duo... you know that you've always been able to talk to me about anything. I think I've proven that I can handle anything you throw at me."
Some of us never cared so little, so little...
Duo silently thought on this. Yes, she had. She hadn't blinked an eyelash when he told her about the orphanage and everything else. She'd simply held him and dried his tears. She hadn't been repulsed when she found out his sexuality; and a few days later he'd found a very descriptive book and several computer printouts on his bedside table. It was embarrassing, but it was such a 'Cecilia' thing. She'd taken everything about him in stride. She'd supported his decision to become a psychologist instead of following her and Howard at the mechanics shop the owned. Howard was nice enough, and was an excellent father and Duo loved him as such... but Cecilia was much more. She was funny and smart, kind and strong. She was everything he'd ever dreamed of in a mother, in a friend, and he thought it was a shame that she'd never have the chance to be a real mother. She was good at it.
Some or less was here before us...
"I had sex," he told her. Her eyebrow lifted, as if saying 'Really? I wouldn't have guessed.'
"With a patient," he concluded. Alright. The brow slammed down, the eyes narrowed, but those were the only outward signs of what she was thinking.
"I'm listening," she said, her voice kind of empty.
All or less will go after us...
Duo sighed, stirring his soup absently. And while his mother sat across from him, he told her everything about what had happened that day, sparring very few details. Eventually they moved the conversation to the backyard porch, where Cecilia held Duo as the broken-hearted tears fell.
It was right on the verge of sleep where Duo found an answer he hadn't been searching for. And the tears fell fresh even as sleep claimed him.
For after everything was said and done... he realized he loved Heero Yuy.
It never stops until we give in, give in, say when...
The sun was coming up over the horizon when Kaori pulled her small green Escort in behind a haphazardly parked black truck, and a prim Mercury. She gathered herself as she stepped up the few stairs and knocked on the door.
Heero had taken care of her so many times before, made sure everything was alright. It was time for her to take care of him for once.
tbc...
AN: The song was all 'Say When' by the Fray (and for once, it was all in order and not mixed up! yay!). Not really any other notes for today. Review if you liked it. And if you didn't like it, review and tell me what was wrong. Thanks!
And PS: Foxxy, the best Beta ever, has drew a picture of Kaori for me. It's on Deviantart, but there's a link in my profile, and hers. It's absolutely amazing. Thanks again, Foxxy!