Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ If It's Hurting You ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Chapter One




"Everything I touched was golden,
Everything I loved got broken,
On the road to Mandalay.
Every mistake I've ever made,
Had been rehashed and then replayed,
As I got lost along the way."
Robbie Williams "The Road To Mandalay"

Chapter One.
//Need to get out! Need to get out!//
Running as fast as his legs would carry him, breath ragged and vision blurred. His mind was in chaos; he was confused and terrified. Where was he? What was he doing?
//Escapeescapeescape-//
Focusing long enough to register his surroundings before he crashed into a wall, he could see he was hurtling down a corridor, walls, floor and ceiling the same sterilised white, blinding lights overhead.
//Getoutgetoutgetout!//
Memories of shy, sweet smiles, a hand running through chestnut bangs. Violet eyes gleaming with unashamed happiness.
//No not now!//
Sweet whispered nothings, a voice murmuring in his ear, telling him he'd never leave, never stray…
//I never meant to! I swear! Just don't do this to me now!//
A loving laugh and long, elegant fingers brushing against his cheek. Warmth from a body that wasn't his own. Lazy mornings spent tracing idle patterns with a finger across silky smooth skin…
//I never meant to hurt you, I swear, please!//
A door in the never-ending corridor. Before he knew it he was pulling it open and staggering through, bare feet burning against the awful chill of the floor. Where the Hell was the /exit/?
//I can't stay here, I've been here long enough! I won't let them hurt me again!//
Alarms ringing, making his head pound harder than it already was. He was in a medical lab; he recognised it immediately. He'd spent many painful hours in here over the last years, tortured and hurt until he was screaming out exactly what they wanted to hear.
//"I hate him! I hate him!"//
Memories again, those violet eyes again, set on the background of a face and a mobile suit cockpit, filled with fear. A lip trembling and a shaky voice, once so eager to love him, now asking why he was about to die.
//"H-Heero? What's wrong? W-Why are you doing this?"//
A sneering voice in his head in this memory now as he watched the braided boy on the screen, hurting and painful and frightening.
//"You are the Perfect Soldier, it's all you'll ever be. But you've been bad and you want to correct your mistakes, don't you?"//
Tears were flowing down his cheeks as he struggled to get out, tormented by these memories…things he'd hoped he'd forget, things he'd wanted to erase, events he would change if given the /slightest chance/…
//"And you know what your mistake was, don't you? Soldiers must learn never to get involved, never to let people close to them…but you know how you can rectify your sins…"//
Tears had formed in the other boy's eyes, clear as day in his memory, as he realised that this was going to be it. He was going to die. The God of Death was about to be beaten at his own game.
//I never wanted to, I never meant to - Oh God, please, don't make me remember this now!//
Laughter. Maniacal laughter had been ringing in his ears. Because they had known that he knew. He had known what he had to do to correct his mistakes.
//"Please don't make me - Oh God, don't make me do this-"//
But he had done it. He had destroyed the only person he had ever loved. The only person who had ever loved him.
He streaked through the lab, panic gripping his chest, restricting his breathing. His heart was pounding against his ribs, cobalt blue eyes searching frantically for anything that resembled a way out. He stopped to wipe the tears from his eyes that blurred his vision. The alarms were still going as loud as ever, reminding him that his dash for freedom had not gone unnoticed. He needed out /now/.
//What's left for me? Where can I go? I killed-//
He choked on the thought, fresh tears stinging his eyes as often-replayed screams and explosions erupted from memories in his head.
//Quatre and Trowa won't take me…Wufei isn't an option…//
His eyes settled on a door and he made a run for it. He crashed through the door, realising with triumph that he was in the loading bay. And there was a ship!
Red lights flashed around him, a mechanical voice filling the air.
"Escapee alert, will all personnel search the base. Escapee is expendable. I repeat, escapee is expendable…"
Long legs carried him swiftly to the docked ship, nimble fingers and years of remembered experience allowed him to get inside.
"THERE HE IS!"
The door closed behind him as a squad of soldiers came into view. He jumped into the pilot seat and flicked a familiar combination of switches, hearing the engines whirr into life.
//I'm out! I'm out! I can go!//
//Go where? You have nowhere left…//
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(Two weeks later)
Quatre hummed softly to himself as he busied himself in the kitchen, chopping vegetables quickly and neatly. Best when busy, an occupied Quatre was a happy Quatre. And Quatre had been occupied for several days now, since inviting Wufei and Duo and Co. over for their annual reunion.
It had been ten years since Duo's last fateful mission. Ten years since Heero's disappearance. Seven years since Duo had married Hilde. And five years since the birth of Duo and Hilde's daughter, Chloe.
Quatre was glad Duo had got over Heero. Especially after what Heero had done to Duo…Quatre knew Heero had loved Duo more than anything. What had made him fire on Duo's Gundam? Why had he tried to kill Duo?
Duo's recovery had been nothing short of a miracle, and due to Hilde's persistent love and care. It had been a surprise when the two had started going out. But a good surprise, none-the-less.
Quatre frowned as he hummed and reached over to turn on the radio as he worked, trying to get the song out of his head.
A distinctly familiar tune drifted to his ears. In fact, it was the same tune he had been humming moments before.
Slender fingers gripped the edge of the worktop very tightly and big blue eyes closed momentarily. "It's not fair! I don't even like that song!"
Warm hands slid round his waist to rest against his stomach, a body pressed against his back. "You work too hard."
"Trowa…how many times have I said that to you and you've never listened?"
"Several…"
"…hundred…" Quatre murmured.
"…times." Trowa pressed a warm kiss to the Arabian man's neck and sighed softly. "Quatre, you've got hours yet. Wufei's not coming until late and Duo's lot probably isn't expecting food. Calm down."
Quatre lay his own hands against Trowa's. "Okay, I'll calm down. On one condition."
Trowa frowned slightly, resting his chin on Quatre's shoulder. "What would the condition be?"
The blond man turned round in Trowa's arms and wrapped his own around the taller man's neck. A mischievous smile lit Quatre's face. "Find a way to occupy me for the next few hours."
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"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
Violet eyes squeezed shut in pain as a small hand tugged his braid. Hard. "Ow! Chloe love, that /hurts/!"
"But Daddy! I wanna see Uncie Katwa!"
"Yes! You'll see him and Uncle Trowa soon! Just let go of my /hair/!"
The brown-haired little girl giggled and bounded up towards the main doors of Quatre's mansion. Quatre shared his house with Trowa, and needless to say that had caused some tricky situations when a particularly lively Chloe had run in on the two lovers sharing a rather passionate embrace in the kitchen once or twice. Hilde wasn't opposed to the relationship. She knew that Duo had been involved with Heero Yuy before they had got married. Duo was reluctant to talk to her about it, but Hilde wasn't worried about any lingering feelings her husband might have had for the other Gundam pilot.
Duo flicked his braid over his shoulder and laughed as Chloe jumped up and banged her tiny fists on the door. He brushed his bangs away from his eyes despite the fact they would always fall back into place. He turned his head and found Hilde's sparkling gaze, smiling lovingly at his wife. He took her hand and squeezed it as they walked up to the door, which was suddenly opened by a familiar blond Gundam pilot.
"UNCIE KATWA!"
Duo burst out laughing again as Quatre scooped Chloe up in his arms and continued to have a lively conversation with the little girl after grinning in Duo and Hilde's direction. As Hilde walked inside and Duo pulled the door shut behind him they heard Chloe yell out, "UNCIE TWOWA! Have you been naughty with Uncie Katwa again?"
Hilde turned bright red in embarrassment and rushed off to relieve Quatre and Trowa of her rather tactless daughter. Duo flushed as well, realising that Chloe probably got her boldness from him.
"Duo! We're in the lounge!"
The braided pilot made his way to the spacious living room of Quatre and Trowa's house. Trowa was standing with Hilde as Quatre settled himself on the sofa with Chloe, pulling a children's book out of nowhere, making Chloe's bubbly laughter fill the air.
Trowa turned and offered Duo a small smile as an initial greeting. Duo grinned back, waving from across the room as he made his way towards them. Quatre had brought Trowa out of his shell a little in the years they had been together. The brown-haired man was more easy-going and talkative than he had ever been, though the change was only noticeable to those who knew him well.
"Duo, how have you been?" Trowa asked.
"Hunky dory, actually!" Duo replied with a big grin. "Chloe's growing up so fast, she'll be piloting Deathscythe in no time!"
At the mention of her father's Gundam, Chloe looked up from the book she was reading with Quatre and started talking loudly. "Daddy said he'd teach me how to fly the big machine!"
"Hehe, when you're older, love," Duo told her with a laugh. "Then you can fight with Uncle Quatre and Uncle Trowa!"
"But I don't wanna be naughty like Uncie Katwa and Uncie Twowa!"
There was an embarrassed pause and then Duo chuckled nervously. "Ah, Chloe, what did we tell you about saying things like that?"
Chloe pouted, blinking large blue eyes. "I's sowy."
"It's quite alright," Quatre said, drawing Chloe's attention back to him again. "I don't mind."
"You wouldn't," came an audible mutter from Trowa. Quatre stuck his tongue out at his lover.
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Wufei arrived a few hours later. The Chinese man hadn't changed much at all since his teenage years, as had none of the other pilots. Everything settled down by eleven o'clock and by half past they had all decided to do what they always did at these reunions - talk about times gone by.
Duo noticed how they pointedly ignored his last mission.
Chloe, being a daddy's girl, had curled up against Duo and had gone to sleep, clutching his braid in her hands. One strong arm supported her against his chest while the other absently stroked his daughter's brown hair.
"I wonder what the old OZ pilots are doing now," Quatre said suddenly. "We haven't seen much of Zechs and Noin for a while now…"
"Probably snuggled up together in their own little love nest somewhere," Duo replied with a grin. "Who ever thought Zechs was the romantic type…"
A bout of amused chuckling ensued. Hilde lay her head on Duo's shoulder and the Gundam pilot shifted so he could put an arm around his wife's shoulders. Chloe snuggled closer to Duo before settling down again.
After another hour or so of chatting away, Hilde looked at her watch and sighed. "Oh dear, it's late…we should really be going, Duo dear."
Duo yawned. "Yeah, we should…" He shook Chloe gently. "Wake up, sleepy head! Time to go home!"
Chloe yawned loudly. "Sleepy."
Duo chuckled as he stood, still holding his daughter in his arms. "Yeah, we all are. When we get home you can sleep all you want, 'kay?"
Chloe nodded and rubbed her eyes with her fists. "Bye bye Uncie Katwa and Uncie Twowa."
The two men took it in turns to hug Chloe before giving her back to Duo. The long-haired pilot smiled at his fellow pilots gratefully. "Thanks so much for all this, I had a great time. And you, Wufei, it was great seeing you again."
The Chinese man nodded. "The same to you, Maxwell."
"You know if you wanna drop by you're all welcome anytime," Hilde said with a friendly smile. "I love having visitors."
Quatre visibly brightened. "That'd be great, I'm sure we will, sometime!"
"So we'll see you soon, then?" Duo asked hopefully.
"Of course," Trowa replied, and he was about to say more when there a knock at the door. Quatre frowned.
"I'll go get that…I wonder who it could be…"
There was another knock, louder this time, followed by a crash outside the door. Quatre rushed out to see what was going on. Puzzled looks passed between the people in the living room.
"TROWA!"
The dark-haired man ran off, closely followed by Wufei, Duo, Chloe and Hilde. Quatre was standing at the door with Trowa, staring down at something at their feet.
"What? What?!"
Both Trowa and Quatre stepped aside as Duo appeared. The braided pilot slowed to a stop as his gaze fell upon what was slumped against the doorframe.
Heero Yuy.
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Authors notes


So it's short. And so the first scene doesn't really make sense. And so I used Robbie Williams lyrics. None of you know where I live! Er…do you?
If this sucks it's just because I decided to write this to get it out of my head so I could get on with another fic. But I feel a multi-part coming on…oh dear

DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. If I did none of you would ever see Duo ever again. Or Zechs for that matter.