Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Indifference ❯ 7 ( Chapter 7 )

7:

Duo wasn't stupid. He was on a schedule, but he still hesitated. He checked his destination first, and wondered just why anyone on L1 wanted a shipment of weapons that large, but he would just have to tell Une about it later. He did a few laps of the cargo bay, just reading through all the details and getting to know the job, until he was certain he had it all locked away upstairs.

He wandered over to the crate and cautiously opened the viewing slot on the top, shining a torch in to check it really was Wufei in there. He flinched away from the light, but it was definitely him. And then Duo left him there and went to get them the hell out of Mettle Valley.

There were few sounds sweeter than a ship engine warming up, thrusters opening and the slow manouveur out into open space. He enjoyed the preparation of it, the growing sense of impending-something. He held his breath as he opened her up and she shot skywards, out into the stars. He kept her on full until he was well clear of anything that might think of chasing them, and then he ran a scan to make sure no one had planted anything on the ship. The only foreign bodies were in the cargo bay and he was able to identify each easily.

Free. At last. Duo sat back in the pilot's seat and stared at the stars until he no longer had any excuse but to get back to work. It was a moment he'd needed, and he felt no shame in taking it.

The crate still sat there, innocently enough, no sound coming from it. That was what irritated Duo the most; the lack of anything. A true Haze addict would have been moaning and moving about in there like an eel. That Wufei wasn't made Duo very, very curious.

He opened the lock cautiously and pulled the first flap open quickly, standing back as if he expected Wufei to jump out like a jack in the box, but the man was still. Perfectly so, curled up in the corner around his broken arm, hair covering his face, breathing even. Asleep.

Duo sighed and opened the box the rest of the way, turned to open the door to the main corridor and when he turned back to reach into the crate, reached in to empty air. Something hard came down on his shoulders and Duo hit the crate hard, chest first.

“Fuck!”

Another blow hit the back of his knees and he barely kept himself from tumbling head first into the crate, which was very likely the idea and instead sank deliberately to the floor, rolling to the side and narrowly avoiding the next strike. The scabbard of a tanto, Duo realised. He wasn't even been attacked with the blade, just its damn sheath, though he caught the flash of the blade in Wufei's other hand.

Wufei tilted his head to the side, listening and Duo waved a hand near the man's face and watched him drop back, frowning and contemplating the area. He really was completely blind, and still kicking Duo's ass if the fiery pain in his chest was anything to go by.

“Think,” Duo muttered to himself and forced himself to do it. Wufei was blind, which would make it a lot easier to get inside his defences, but why was he attacking him to begin with? And how? Haze addicts could barely hold their arms out for an embrace, he'd certainly never heard of one sustaining a well thought out attack. It was why the traffickers used Haze; it made the merchandise pliable.

The tanto scraped past his arm and Duo had a moment to acknowledge Wufei had gotten faster; that while he had dropped a lot of strength he was light enough now to move beyond Duo's ability to catch him without exerting himself. He was as graceful as ever and Duo ended up toying with him a little, just to watch the swift dance of bare feet across the cargo room floor. Which was what had him end it in the end, because Wufei's feet had to freezing, and he didn't seem to notice it at all.

Duo fainted to the left, Wufei felt it and went with him to the right but couldn't sense the punch that Duo brought up into his ribs. A trick he'd learned first hand from Heero. And then pinched Wufei's neck and waited for the nerve to knock him out cold, catching him as he slumped and shaking his head at how damn light he was.

“You are such a pain in the ass,” he muttered to the unconscious form, carrying Wufei down the hallway and into his spare room, laying him down on the bed and quickly cuffing him to the headboard. Just in case.

He pried the tanto from Wufei's fingers and examined the weapon, not surprised to find it was folded steel, a stunning weapon with exceptionally beautiful craftings of the honey suckle dragon wound around the hilt and kissing the blade. It reminded Duo of Wufei's tattoo and he looked at it in the fresh light of the cabin and whistled low under his breath.

The thing was stunning; all metallic inks that shimmered like real dragon scales in deep reds, oranges, pinks and gold while the bark of the the cherry blossom branch shimmered with gold and silver highlights. The dragons eyes looked real, but the thing didn't look dangerous as it wound its way off Wufei's shoulder and down his bicep. It just looked curious, and innocent.

They'd broken his left arm, but the tanto sheath was clutched hard in his left hand. Duo pried it free and put the weapon in the desk drawer, far beyond Wufei's reach, and then went about resetting the arm. It wasn't something he liked doing; broken bones just gave him the creeps. It was the noise they made, either breaking or being put back together, that grinding hideous snap that you felt in your gut that screamed `pain', even if it wasn't yours. Duo hated that sound, but he brought it from somewhere under Wufei's skin and snapped the arm back into place, hoping it was really as straight as it looked on the outside, and then putting a brace on it from the first aid kit. There wasn't a whole lot else he could do without an x-ray and a proper doctor so he moved on.

He applied the cream to Wufei's closed lids, put a pad over each eye and bandaged it into place, concerned by the traces of silver evident even in Wufei's eyelids. He'd obviously been on the substance for a while, which didn't go a long way to explaining what the hell had happened in the cargo bay.

He artfully hung an i.v over the bed, then taped it into place with several layers of tape around Wufei's elbow so he couldn't pull the stupid thing out while he thrashed.

And then he left him there. He went to the bridge and put in his course and a landing request for L1. He went to the mess and made himself a bowl of canned soup. He checked on his cargo. He read a damn book. He did anything to distract himself from first the moans coming from the other room. Then the screams. Not once did Wufei make any kind of sound that could be interpreted as an actual damn word. He didn't curse anyone, didn't beg for anything, just let out restrained, desperate cries that went unanswered.

They were halfway to L1 when they died down enough that Duo risked going in again. The bed was soaked in pink sweat, Wufei looked unconscious and uncomfortable on the bed but Duo didn't take any chances. He approached cautiously and changed over the fluids, putting up a new bag and then taking a towel to mop up the sweat drying on Wufei's skin. It was just day one, so there was no point changing the sheets yet.

The bandage around Wufei's head came off and Duo was stunned at the grey colour of the white pads he had placed over Wufei's eyes the night before. He took them off and recoiled at the sticky, drying grey clumps of cream caked over his eyes. Hurriedly, he washed it off and went to get the cream for a reapplication.

Wufei's eyes were open, just a little, his breathing up. Awake, when Duo came back to the bed.

“Wufei?”

A frown, his breathing further elevated.

“Shhh...It's alright. You're safe, everything will be fine now.” Just peachy, he didn't even know if the man was going to see again, but maybe the words helped. They didn't seem to be though, Wufei's breathing was ragged and it was obvious he was in pain. He was sweating again, little pink pearls forming on his skin and Duo wiped them away as quickly as they formed. But Wufei was still struggling, trying to remember.

“Maxwell?” Trying, Duo realised, to place a name to his voice. It made him grin.

“Yeah, Chang. It's me. You're on the Reincarnation. You're safe.”

He just...deflated. Breathing evened out and he passed out cold, letting go of whatever he'd been struggling to hold on to. Awareness, Duo suspected. That strangle hold he'd had on himself through the Haze, much like the whore had once she'd delivered her message. Duo had no idea what kind of self control was required to hold onto that sense of self, but he knew it wasn't something most were capable of. Rare, he knew it was. He felt ridiculous for feeling proud that Wufei had tried to kill him, under orders or by his own choice didn't matter. Wufei had had enough of himself to manage it still under his control.

The screaming fits started again, and Duo left him alone until the periods of lucidity, coming in to mop up the mess or change the fluids of just whisper reassurances. To take his pulse and give him a shot of adrenalin to keep his heart pumping when it was too weak to manage on its own.

The silences were almost worse; he felt compelled to run in, to check his pulse and the fear didn't subside each time, it only grew, reminding himself of the statistics, that most didn't make it even this far through the withdrawal. Wondering how he could make the drop while Wufei was dying in his cabin. What if he stopped breathing while Duo wasn't there? What if he drowned in his own vomit? What if he somehow got an arm free and tore off his own skin to try and make it stop?

He forced himself to focus on the run. Forced himself to dock at L1, flashed a fake Preventers badge to ensure no one would ask questions about his ship, and we focussed on completing the job he was there to do. Gun trafficking, of all things. Disgusting, but the lesser of a few great evils.

Also, he was a little loathe to admit, a trade he had experience in. Not often, but occasionally Sweepers got offered a little on the side, for a particular sort of gig. Retrieve the cargo, and then sell it, but those willing to buy weren't the sort they should have been selling to. But it had been Howard's decision and in the end Duo had chosen to fly with it, a few times. When he could figure out just where the cargo would end up. In this case he really had no idea.

It was the memory of the twins at the Sale that made him go through with it. Their faces, still so new to the concept of being sold and for all he knew it had been their first time on the block. Eyes still clean of the Haze, not addicted yet, still not blinded and still in complete control of themselves. The look on the boy's face as he stared defiantly out at the crowd before his sister had started crying and then the slow crumbling of all their defences until they were dragged away. Still blubbering. Their faces haunted him as he got the clearance and he knew it wouldn't matter where the guns ended up, so long as he was going to be staying up all night wondering what Wufei had been like at his first Sale. If he'd cried. If he'd thought someone might save him. If his hopes had been crushed. If he'd been dragged, kicking and screaming.

He had to be off the ship for seven whole hours, first unloading the cargo into a freight container and then transporting it to the drop zone. Minding it, watching and waiting and then collecting the cash. It went smoothly, as expected from a rookie job. Old Duke wasn't a fool; he hadn't given Duo anything he hadn't known would go flawlessly, which meant this was a common drop. Which meant, in the future, Duo would be able to come back and maybe start undoing what he'd done today. He let himself have that small hope, because little else was staying in his gut.

When he went back he sealed the cargo doors, tossed his bag of goods to replenish his first aid stock in the hallway and just stood at Wufei's door, listening intently, but there was no sound. He shoved the door open and stormed in, ready to perform CPR, or a lobotomy or an exorcism, or whatever the hell might bring Chang Wufei back from the dead.

He hadn't expected to find Wufei sitting up against the headboard, knees drawn up against his chest, looking strangely...peaceful. His bandaged head tilted in Duo's direction and there was a moment's hesitation. Duo saw his chest rise and fall as Wufei struggled to control his breathing and not react to the door opening.

“It's me,” he helped and Wufei relaxed, visibly falling back into the pillows and letting his grip on his legs loosen. Duo wandered in, stunned because by all accounts Wufei should have been dead or close to it, but while there was a new sheen of blood sweat on him he was otherwise completely awake. Aware.

“What the fuck is going on here, I thought you were supposed to be a Haze addict?” Duo demanded, collecting his bag of goods from the floor and storming in, tossing them on the table and hurriedly changing over Wufei's fluids.

“Would you prefer I thrashed and moaned and screamed until the ship was investigated?”

“Smartass,” Duo grumbled but he threw a towel at Wufei and watched him gratefully rub himself down with his good hand. The movements were hurried and jerky, the only sign Wufei was still in significant pain and trying very hard to control it. Deny it, maybe. Do whatever voodoo trick he'd been using since his capture to retain that iron-clad sense of self.  

“How are you feeling?” If he was honest, he was asking purely to be perverse. He knew Wufei was suffering but he wasn't doing it in the way Duo expected, or in the way Duo suspected he would have had their positions been reversed. It just wasn't normal to be that calm about it all and he wanted Wufei to admit it.

“I've been better,” Wufei admitted softly, and there was the ghost of a smile on his lips but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with a dark frown that Duo recognised as Sorrow. It was a kick in the guts for asking in the first place and Duo found himself just staring, taking in the differences that made Wufei seem like a different person entirely. It had him grinning and Wufei's frown deepened.

“Are you laughing at me?” When you put it that way, it was cruel and unusual punishment, but the man had  gotten captured, so really...he was going to get some ribbing. When he got better and didn't look half like a corpse and half like a walking wet dream.

“No, just...grinning?” He felt bad admitting even that much. “It's just...your hair...” And really, it was funny. They'd taken out the gold frame that had been in it, but the braids and beads were still there, and while they were actually pretty cool, it was still sticking out in all directions from the spray or whatever the hell they had used to make it stay in the frame in its ornate design. Add to that the bandage and the way some of it was stuck under the bandage and other bits had escaped and stuck out on top and Wufei's head looked like a very strange, oiled birds nest.

“You're making fun of me?” Wufei gaped at him and even that looked rather hilarious, with half his face hidden under the white gauze. Duo felt unrepentant, realising it was helping somehow. That Wufei was better able to grasp hold of himself and assert some sort of personality while Duo was doing the same.

“Damn straight. You look ridiculous.” Ridiculous, but small and fascinating and exotic, and just...not like what Duo had been expecting. He was still Wufei, but Duo suspected it was his personality that made him seem that way, because he didn't recognise a whole lot of the old fifteen year old kid that had fought in a Gundam. He definitely didn't see a lot of the eighteen year old who'd been one of Preventers top agents. Wufei, like all of them, had changed.

“If you took some care wrapping my head up, maybe I wouldn't,” Wufei sniffed. Actually stuck his nose in the air and sniffed at him, and Duo just laughed. Hard and free and was rewarded with another of those small, barely there smiles. As if Wufei were proud of himself. As if just making a joke was against the rules and he liked the rebellion. Liked being able to rebel.

“I should change that,” Duo noted softly and Wufei shrugged, not caring one way or the other. Maybe not seeing a point to it. Duo removed the bandage slowly, then just stared at the once again filthy eye patches. He had to use water to soak them off, because the cream had glued them to Wufei's face, thick and congealed and really, really disgusting. Duo took his time, making sure he cleaned Wufei's face entirely with disinfectant before going to get the tube again.

When he came back, he paused, just waiting because Wufei had his eyes open, just a crack, slowly raising one hand and then dropping it, looking aside and Duo bit his lip. Hard. Wufei's face was misery, completely lost, hope destroyed and he watched as Wufei struggled with it, pushed it down, schooled himself into control again and the lines of worry disappeared, smoothing out until Wufei once again looked like a doll.

Duo reached out slowly, putting the tube of cream aside to take both of Wufei's hands in his own, squeezing gently. He wondered what it was like, to be blind. To be blinded by Haze.

“It's not dark,” Wufei admitted softly. “I can see...shadows, but the light hurts and it makes you...focus on the darkness.” He shivered and Duo could see the effort it took to stop, to be still and to make himself smile faintly. Fakely.

But what was it like, to have that reminder? To literally see only the Haze; a grey, dark version of the world? A constant reminder of what had been done. It was almost crueller than blindness. At least in the dark you could forget how it happened.

“It's only been two days, and there's a lot of crap coming out. Give it a while. They say it can take months...” He had no idea why he was trying to reassure Chang Wufei, who had to know the odds as well as he did. There was just something in him that wouldn't sit still anymore; that couldn't ignore it the way he wanted to. He'd taken one look at Wufei sitting there, hugging his legs and he couldn't do it anymore. That ache in his gut had reached his chest and unfrozen some small corner of his heart so it could wriggle in and set up camp, waving its little white flag. The flag in his head looked like Wufei's pants from the war and had him grinning again.

“You smell...clean,” Wufei observed and it made Duo laugh, breaking the moment.

“The Valley's not exactly the poster child for hygiene,” he agreed and Wufei snorted softly. “I had a shower as soon as I knew I would be away for a few days.”

Wufei was quiet for a minute, worrying his lower lip between his teeth and Duo just watched and waited, understanding dawning and he just waited, wanting Wufei to ask for some reason. Maybe of the opinion Wufei needed to.

“Can I...shower?”

“I can do better than that,” Duo agreed. “I have a bath.” He reached out to slowly unwrap the tape from Wufei's arm, carefully unplugging him from the i.v. He let Wufei stand on his own, seeing how his legs shook but letting him do it himself, carefully guiding him into the small attached bathroom and getting him seated on the edge of the tub. He put the shower on, so Wufei could have the best of both worlds and put a block of soap in Wufei's hand and left him to it, carefully explaining there was a towel on the floor just by the bath.

He went to the bridge and sat in the pilot's seat, turning lazily and watching the outer edge of the colony hanging in space. It was an incredible view, one the other colonies didn't get because of the way L1 had been designed. The first colony, focussed more on making sure people were comfortable, and had all the trappings of home along with a few choice things you couldn't get at home. Making people like space, with pretty views and incredible vistas. Convincing them space was a nice place to be, as if space herself hadn't been convincing enough for most.

It had sure convinced the hell out of him, the moment he stepped foot off L2 and got a taste for it, all he'd wanted to do was go again, and again and again. Space called to all of them for different reasons, but for Duo it was freedom from the trappings of mortality. Space didn't care who you were or what you'd done. As soon as you were out there, on your own, everyone was on equal footing and only the silence would decide if you were found wanting.

In space, he was better than people; better than most, and he liked that. He liked that he was better not because of the way he was born or the dollars in his bank account, but because he was hard and deliberate and because space didn't give second chances and he didn't need any. He liked that space judged on merit, and that space judged him worthy.

An hour passed and he went to check on Wufei, because the silence was getting to him. He was stunned to find Wufei washed and tucked back in bed, dressed in...

“Is that my shirt?”

“Your pants too,” Wufei agreed and Duo just gaped, not because Wufei had somehow managed to find his way back from the bathroom, raid the closet, dress himself and ensconce himself back in bed because Duo suspected he'd been doing that sort of ninja trick for a while. The shock came from the fact his shirt on Wufei looked like it had come from an obese person, or a pro wrestler, or someone with that reverse anorexia thing where their muscles on muscles always looked puny and insignificant in the mirror. He found himself checking his bicep just to be sure, but nope it was healthy and just the right size to knock Heero Yuy on his ass if required.

“Feel better?”

“Yes.” Simple as that. Duo sighed and got the first aid kit off the desk, sitting beside Wufei on the bed and checking his arm first, because Wufei had taken the brace off. It was a dark purple, not that Duo hadn't expected it, but it looked a hell of a lot worse than he would have liked. He slathered some bruise cream on it and wrapped it in gauze, to let it breathe and give it some extra cushioning and then he put the brace back on, hoping it was still straight. Wufei didn't so much as wince the whole time and Duo barely restrained himself from poking the bruise to see if he couldn't make him show pain. If he wanted to pretend he couldn't feel it, who was Duo to argue? Maybe it helped him, somehow.

He went to put the cream on Wufei's eyes but hesitated and put it down yet again, getting up instead and fetching his brush from his own room, coming back and moving Wufei into the middle of the bed so he could slip in behind him.

It was surprising how quickly they both relaxed into it. Duo wasn't going to lie, he'd always had a thing for hair. Ever since he was a child and saw Sister Helen's for the first time, all bright and gleaming in the sunlight he'd known he loved it. He'd grown his as a sign of respect, but that didn't mean he didn't think it was the greatest thing ever at the same time, and he took a lot of care with it. It was crazy thick and he had a hell of a time snipping off split ends but it was soft and healthy. It felt like wire compared to the slinky silk of Wufei's as it slowly dried. He worked some conditioner in just to get the knots out around the braids, and carefully unwound each, straightening it all out and brushing while it dried.

Wufei collected the beads in his hand and Duo was surprised when he was finished getting the knots out when Wufei held them back out to him. Wanting them put back in.

“They help me see,” he admitted softly and Duo just stared at them in Wufei's hand, stunned. He realised when they hung in a particular way they would move and clink together, and that Wufei had memorized the different sounds they made; had somehow integrated that sound into his sense of balance and space. He was very careful in separating the pieces of Wufei's hair, rebraiding the places he'd worked them out of and carefully putting the beads back in. It was tidier and neater and Wufei shook his head experimentally and nodded in thanks, so Duo assumed he'd gotten it right. He ran a hand over Wufei's hair one last time and let it go, having no more excuse to sit there playing with it like a five year old.

“Thank you,” Wufei said softly and Duo just squeezed his shoulder, all too well aware how crap dirty, untamed hair made you feel.

The cream went back on Wufei's eyes then, and the pads and the bandage but it no longer looked completely ridiculous. When Duo sat back and examined his handiwork he could only marvel that he'd somehow made it look...sexy. Bandages, in his opinion, were kind of hot anyway, if you ignored what they were for, but it was the colours that did it in Wufei's case, the white of the linen and skin stark against the jet black of Wufei's hair hanging loose and free now around his shoulders and down his chest.

That ache in his chest returned and Duo busied himself packing the first aid kit up again, and hooking Wufei back up to the fluids. He was getting ready to say something, anything really, when the proximity alarm went off, startling Wufei hard and Duo was on his feet and out the door before he'd had time to register anything besides `danger'.

Someone was at the cargo door, staring impatiently up at the ship. Duo stared at the screen for a long time before he woke up enough to reach out and turn the damn alarm off. And then he just stared some more, because is brain needed a moment.

It wasn't coincidence, of that he had no doubt. He shook his head and went to let her in, watching the way she grinned and swept that god-awful red beret off her head and swept it into a ridiculously looking bow. He closed the cargo bay doors and just stood there, arms folded and glaring at her.

“Well, this is...awkward,” Hilde said at last and Duo just snorted, shaking his head and cursing under his breath as he opened the door out of the cargo bay. She looked...good. Taller, slimmer but muscled in all the right places. Her hair was still cropped short, but she'd streaked it with some kind of colourant, making it paler and look...he stopped looking her up and down and went back to glaring.

“Don't flatter yourself, Maxwell, I'm not here for you.”

That made him pause and he turned to look at her properly, demanding an explanation with his glare alone. The same glare that had made soldiers in the war piss themselves in their nightmares.

“I'm here for Wufei,” she grinned and before he could do anything, she skipped through the spare room doorway and was chattering away to the invalid. Duo just stood there, staring with wide eyes and giving his brain time to do the math but he didn't like any of the things it came up with.

“Fucking bastard really has thought of everything,” he muttered, and wished he knew what that even meant.