Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Integration ❯ Cards On The Table ( Chapter 12 )

Warnings and disclaimer on page one of this story

Integration

By: Bane's Desire

Part 12 -- Cards On The Table

"Can we talk?"

The soft spoken question was uttered close enough for Duo to feel the warmth of Quatre's breath on his ear. A warm, thrilling shudder, an almost forgotten sensation, spread from that small puff of air like a shot to the rest of his body.

"Excuse me," Duo said to the awe-struck woman almost salivating as she continued to look at the man behind him. Turning his head, Duo could clearly see why she'd been so affected. The tall blond man looking down on him had a charming smile on his face and his hair, shining even in the dim light of the room, looked soft and inviting, making any observer want to run his fingers through it.

"Good evening, Grayson," Quatre said in greeting him, talking easily over the background music.

"Hey, Quat. Come to this place often?" he replied with a mischievous grin.

The taller man shrugged, a careless gesture, his eyes momentarily shifting to look about the room. "I've been here before."

As if to prove the statement, the bartender approached them asking, "Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Winner?"

"Just the usual, Paul. Thank you." He then turned his full attention back to Duo and asked pleasantly, "Would you care for anything?"

Duo couldn't help smiling. Quatre had always been one of the most polite people he'd ever met. It seemed that at least that part of his personality hadn't been taken away with his other memories. "No thanks," he replied. "I've reached my limit tonight."

A moment later, a tumbler filled with ice and a clear liquid was set on a napkin on the bar. "Thank you, "Quatre said with a grateful smile to the bartender. "Just put that on my tab along with an appropriate tip, please." The bartender shot back a grateful smile of his own, then turned to serve another customer a bit further down the bar.

"I've got a booth reserved upstairs," Quatre said, picking up his glass and napkin. "If you'd like, we can talk there."

"Sure." Duo stood, gave a nod goodbye to the woman still staring in awe at Quatre, then followed the taller blond man, taking in the slender but obviously well taken care of body. Quatre's shirt, he noted to himself, was perfectly fitted against his straight and strong shoulders and hugged the well-formed back to where it was tucked into the black dress pants that had been tailored to perfection for him, covering, what Duo thought, what looked to be a perfect ass.

His thoughts were random as he followed his former comrade, thinking that, yep, Quatre Winner certainly had it all; family, money, good looks and a body to match. He could only think of one thing that was missing from his former comrade's life: Trowa.

The booth he was led to was located one floor up the stairs and on the mezzanine overlooking the nightclub. The Maguanac who'd spoken to him on the street the day before stood next to it, large and daunting. At their approach, the tall man nodded and stood to the side to let them sit down in the soft, blue leather seats set on the sides of the slim, rectangular-shaped glass table that sat perpendicular to the balcony's edge, giving them a clear view of the bar and dance floor below. The intimidating bodyguard then removed himself to a point roughly ten feet from their position to stand guard while allowing them enough space to converse privately.

"Those guys still fulfilling their blood oath?" Duo asked with a nod of his head towards the bodyguard.

Quatre's left eyebrow rose in question at the information only a handful of people had access to. "Who are you, really?"

Leaning an elbow on the table, Duo rested his head on his upraised hand. "Like I said, I'm an old friend, one that was erased from your memories."

"You're one of them, aren't you?" Quatre asked in a lowered voice, his eyes shifting to the area around them to make sure they couldn't be overheard.

Duo let a slow grin spread on his lips. "Them?"

When Quatre's stunning eyes turned to focus back on him, there was no amusement. "Don't take me for a fool, Mr. Williams," he said in all seriousness. "I've done my homework."

"Believe me," Duo replied quickly, dropping the smile and his voice to match Quatre's change of mood. "I know more than anyone on this so-called idyllic colony of yours that you're nobody's fool."

The two young men's eyes locked, and after a moment, he noticed a change taking place in the blue-green orbs and facial expression of his former friend. There was definitely something present in them that he'd never had directed at him before by the blond, and it was both troubling and exhilarating to recognize it was the flickering of lust and desire growing in Quatre's eyes.

"Is it true we spent a month together in Brazil?" the blond asked, a sexy smile on his face.

Duo felt his body breaking out in a sweat. Quatre was actually flirting with him. His war buddy, who had been head over heels in love with the Heavyarms pilot was looking at him in a sexual way. Shifting nervously in his seat and then berating himself about doing so, he answered. "Yeah, we did. But not quite in the manner I hinted at yesterday. We were hiding out together."

Quatre's face was soft, his smile alluring. "Hiding out together, hmm? Sounds...fun. Who were we hiding from?"

"You don't remember? I could have sworn that when you saw me in front of your office the yesterday that there was a flash of recognition in your eyes." Duo said, his eyes lowered to the Arabian's hand as the blond ran a finger over the lip of his glass, slowly circling the top in a way that warmed Duo's blood. He kept his eyes on that finger so that he wouldn't have to look into the handsome face and see the desire that was evident in the blue-green eyes.

Quatre leaned over the narrow table, edging into Duo's personal space again. "I didn't recognize you, but rather someone I find very attractive. And as to what I remember, I know what it is I'm supposed to remember," he said, just over the sound of the dance music playing. "And then I know what I've been told by my family and those who surround me." Then leaning even closer, his upper body now completely over the narrow table that separated them, Quatre brought his right cheek to rest against Duo's clean-shaven face to whisper in his ear. "And then I have learned what I needed to, to fill in the gaps and to separate the truth from the lies. There are indeed gaps in my life, Mr. Williams, and I'm wondering, are you one of them?"

He found himself unable to form a coherent, verbal response because of the distraction of Quatre's face set so intimately close to his own as well as the heady scent of his expensive cologne wafting into his nostrils. Added to that was the odd, disconcerting need he felt growing within his body, urging him to reach out and touch his friend. All those swirling senses combined to reduced his ability to think logically, so in order to answer the question, he simply nodded his head, his cheek rubbing against the other's fair cheek that was still pressed against his own.

Having gotten his answer, the blond moved back slightly, just enough to lock gazes with him once again. "My place isn't far from here. Would you come with me so we can continue this... conversation in private?"

Duo could see from the heated expression in the other man's eyes that conversation wasn't all that he wanted from him. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he managed to answer. "Alright. But we really need to talk. I need your help."

"Let's go then," Quatre said as he began to ease himself out of the booth, leaving his forgotten drink. He then stood at the table's edge and waited for Duo to do likewise.

The lone Maguanac followed behind them as the two young men walked down the city street. It was still early, around nine, so the traffic was only moderately heavy. Quatre chatted about various restaurants on the colony and local amusements as they continued to walk side by side. It was a role Duo remembered his friend had taken on during the war, that of being the social guy, always filling the uncomfortable silence with pleasant and inane but acceptable conversation. He was grateful for the chatter and for his former friend's perception. He needed a few moments to collect his thoughts and adjust to the changes in Quatre from the capable but reluctant soldier he had been to the flirty, successful business man he was now. The small blond teen he'd known had been the worrier of the group, yet his adeptness at planning strategy became a cohesive element that had brought the five gundam pilots together and working as a functioning unit, especially at the end of the first war. If they hadn't worked together, they would never have won that war. Could Quatre possibly fill that needed role again by being person to bring them all back together? That was exactly what he was betting on and why he was here on L-4.

Looking at the man now walking beside him, Duo could almost feel the confidence rolling in waves from off of him. There was no hint of hesitation or second guessing in the blond man that had been evident in his youth. His friend had grown into a very handsome, self-contained adult, secure with his place in the world and too damn sexy to be believed. He'd always thought of Quatre as gentle, non-aggressive and cute, and he was having a hard time adjusting to the difference between his memories of the boy he'd known and the reality of the man walking beside him.

It seemed all too soon when Quatre turned towards the doors that Duo recognized as his apartment building. "Here we are," the blond said brightly, taking Duo's elbow and leading him through the double doors. A doorman dressed in black pants and a red jacket rushed forward and quickly opened the door and held it open for them.

"Good Evening, Mr. Winner," the man greeted Quatre, then turned a suspicious eye to his companion.

"Evening, Runnar," the blond man answered politely, then kept walking, pulling Duo along with him as they made their way quickly to the elevator. The button was pushed, the door shushed open. They entered the small space and after pushing the top floor button and entering a special passkey code in the number pad next to it, the doors shut and they began their assent to the top floor.

The two men stood slightly apart and to the back of the cubed-shaped car and Quatre brought his arm around the other man's slender waist, to rest on the middle of his back. "Tell me about yourself, Grayson," he said. "Is that your real name?"

There was a sparkle of mischief in the blue-green eyes that made the man almost irresistible. Between that, their close proximity, the hand on his back and the heady cologne, Duo felt his heart beginning to speed up. He swallowed nervously, a bit too loudly for his comfort, and managed an answer. "No, it's not my real name."

"Is there a reason for the alias?"

"Let's just say that my own name, if heard by the wrong people, could land me and a couple of my friends in trouble. My past, as you've probably guessed, was erased from your mind for a reason. If I were to write a book about our experiences as teenagers, well, let's just say everyone on Earth and the colonies would have a copy of it on their desks."

"So I play a significant part in that history you're talking about, Mr Williams?" Quatre asked, obviously curious.

"Let's just say you and I have backgrounds so completely opposite to each other's and yet we both came together, along with three others, to make history."

The elevator car came to the top floor without stopping on any other floor, and the soft chime alerted the two that they'd reached their destination. However, after the car stopped, the door remained shut.

Duo watched as the taller man withdrew a single key attached to a gold ring from the pocket of his pants. He inserted it into a slot in the operating panel and turned it to the left, and with a soft snick, the two elevator doors slid apart.

"After you." Quatre removed the key and motioned for Duo to precede him. From the elevator, the two entered a small cubicle. "Stand still for a moment," the blond instructed and within the small room, a minute hum was followed by a harsh buzz. Duo realized an alarm had just gone off just as Quatre turned to him and asked, "Are you carrying a weapon of any kind?"

Even though he'd asked in a calm voice, Duo could see the blond's body tense slightly as he readied himself for the possible eventuality that he may have to defend himself.

"I carry a knife," Duo replied, then fished his hand into his pocket and drew out the switchblade he'd acquired the moment he'd first stepped foot on L-4. "I'm new to this colony and didn't know if I'd have to defend myself or not," he explained, then hit the button that shot the dangerous, lethal-looking blade out from its black casing. The both of them stared at the sharp, pointed edge.

Quatre frowned at the displayed weapon. "L-4 has a very small crime rate. There's no real need for weapons," he said. "Is that all you're carrying?"

Duo nodded and gave the blond man a crooked smile. "Well, you can never tell what riffraff will come in on the next shuttle."

The penetrating blue-green eyes studied him for a moment, then a returning, odd smile graced the lips of the billionaire. "Open saysame," Quatre said with his grin still in place and, unexpectedly, the door in front of them silently slid open.

"From Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves." Duo remembered the catchphrase for the opening of the thieves' hidden cave in that ancient story.

"One of my favorite stories from my childhood," Quatre said, leading the way into the dark apartment.

"I remember," Duo said, with a knowing smile and eyes sparkling brightly. Quatre was the person who'd repeated the story to him during the first war.

"Come on." The tall blond took his elbow and led him forward. "Lights on," he said, and instantly the suite was flooded with light that came from three high-set chandeliers evenly spaced on the ceiling in the large room.

Duo's steps faltered and he came to a stop, taking in the decor. "It's... a harem," he said, disbelieving his eyes. From the chandeliers above there flowed sheer, pale blue and green diaphanous curtains that flared out at the bottom to surround three white, large and circular-shaped couches, or were they beds? Duo wondered, because of their lack of a back. Instead, each padded couch was laden heavily with pillows of pale yellow, gray and blue to compliment the flowing curtains. The floor beneath the odd furniture contained thick carpets, possibly from China or India.

"This is similar to how my ancestors used to live on Earth, except instead of a penthouse, they lived in relative luxury in tents or palaces," Quatre explained, pulling on Duo's arm to the seat closest to the white marble fire place. "Fire on," he commanded, and like everything else in the room, flames jumped up and around the synthetic logs at his word. Though it wasn't a real fire, it added to the romantic ambiance that filled the exotic room.

Being pulled along by Quatre, Duo continued to look around, taking in the rooms accouterments that also looked to be imported from the Middle East. "You live here all by yourself?" he asked, noting the pale blue walls with the gold filigree crown molding and glass tables that were artfully set about the room for both form and function.

"Yes." Quatre sat down in the middle round cushion, placed in front of the fireplace and lay down, stretching himself out on his back. With a beguiling smile, he patted the place next to him, telling Duo where he desired him to be.

"Well, when in Rome," Duo said with a nervous chuckle, then crawled up and lay parallel to the blond, handsome man, feeling a bit uncomfortable under the other's intense scrutiny.

"Are you here to blackmail me?" Quatre suddenly asked, his eyes seemed to be smoldering with some inner emotion that Duo felt uncertain about.

"No," he replied. "But like I said before, I need your help."

"And if I choose not to help you?"

Duo knew the answer but he paused to consider if it was the correct one. Quickly going over his options, he decided it was. "Then I'll leave and figure out a way to do what I need to by myself."

The blond reached forward and traced his fingertips down along Duo's jaw. "You're beautiful," he said softly. "I'm glad you're not here to blackmail me. It might put a crimp into what I hope will be a growing friendship."

Even though he could see it coming, Duo was still unprepared for the sudden sensation of Quatre's lips pressed against his own. The kiss itself was gentle and questioning but it soon turned more demanding and needy. Searching his confused mind for a reaction, the kiss felt wrong and oh-so right at the same time. Wrong, because the only kiss he'd endured during the last three years were forced upon and brutally taken from him. There had been no pleasure in the act of kissing for the majority of time he'd spent with Scott Mercer. On the other hand, he thought as his mind wandered back to the past and his friend, Quatre had always been very good at everything he tried his hand at, and from this first shared kiss, he knew the blond was most likely a fantastic lover.

Yet as Quatre's ardour rose, so did Duo's fear. Visions of Scott and the abuse he'd endured under his control came back full force, especially when the blond man slipped his arm around his waist and his thigh slid between his legs a moment before he pressed up against his groin.

"Wait, Quatre. Stop," Duo gasped in panic breaking the heated kiss and forcibly pushing Quatre Winner away before jumping to his feet, the wrongness of the situation hitting him like a bucket of cold water.

Blue-green eyes looked at him with surprise, obviously looking for some reason for the other man's reluctance. "What's the matter?" Quatre asked, concerned.

"I can't do this," he explained, catching his breath as he began to pace in front of the odd bed-like sofa. "There are things about me that you don't know, and things about yourself you can't remember."

"Tell me." Quatre's order was gently spoken, and surprisingly, it calmed Duo's nerves.

Though the words had come easily off of Quatre's tongue, the American found it a bit more difficult to comply. How do you tell someone about two years in their life that had been pure hell, filled with battles, killing, hopelessness, despair and all the other overwhelming emotions that came with war. Still, there had been a smattering of relief, even happiness interspersed between battles. He decided it would probably be best to start his tale off on a more personal level.

"You said you did your own research, right?" Quatre answered with a nod, his face expressionless. "You know you were a gundam pilot?" Another solemn nod followed. Duo continued. "When I knew you," he began, "you were in love with someone else. It was amazing, really, that you met someone during the war, someone who seemed to be a perfect companion for you. I loved someone too," he admitted sadly, his melancholy returning. "I found the person I wanted to spend my life with even though at the time I was sure I was going to die young. But I guess we all figured that it was better to have experienced being loved than to fight and die never without having embraced it."

Quatre frowned, his blond eyebrows pinched together in thought. "What happened to us?"

"I want to tell you," Duo began, "but I don't know you anymore, Quat. I don't know if I can trust you with the secrets I carry."

"Grayson." Quatre held out his hand to him. "Come and sit with me. What can I do or say to earn your trust?."

Swallowing his nervousness, Duo reached out his hand and clasped the one inviting him to sit back down. He wanted so badly to trust someone again, buy it was difficult. Trusting was something that had never come easy to him and he'd only given it to a handful of people in his life, and Quatre Winner had been one of them.

He was drawn down by a gentle tug on his hands, brought to sit next to the blond Arabian until they were sitting side by side once again, their shoulders touching. Duo took a deep breath and looked into the large blue-green eyes and asked, "Will you give me your word of honor that you won't tell anyone about what I say here tonight? That you won't harm me, turn the Maguanacs or the law, especially the Preventers onto me?"

"Preventers?" Quatre questioned, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Especially the Preventers."

The L-4 business man paused for a moment and Duo could only imagine that he was weighing his options against the person he didn't know. Then suddenly, he answered. "All right. I give you my word that I'll never reveal what you say to me tonight. Nor will I retaliate in any way once I hear your story in its entirety. You can trust me, Grayson. I'm as good as my word."

"You always were, Quat," Duo replied, feeling a great weight lift from off his shoulders. "But you've changed, and I needed to hear you say it, to hear your promise and I'm hoping they probably didn't erase your integrity as well with your memories."

"Who are 'they'?" Quatre asked and the room became silent as one young man prepared to let out his secrets and the other to have his life changed.

"Lady Une, Relena and from what I've learned, the Preventer Organization, and possibly even your sisters," Duo answered. Seeing the serious set of the blond's face, he took it as his clue to continue.

For the next two hours, Duo told Quatre who they had been and their roles in the two Colony-Earth wars, how they first met in person on the desert sands of Saudi Arabia, and how Quatre had taken him in and had given him shelter with the Maguanacs after Heero self destructed when OZ used the colonies as hostages to insure their surrender.

Quatre, for his part, listened with rapt attention, his eyes never leaving Duo's face as he described his efforts as the pilot of gundam Sandrock to protect both he and Wufei as they stole shuttles from the Singapore base and made their way into space. Duo told of the horror he felt when Sandrock exploded, that he'd feared he'd lost yet another person he'd come to cared for.

He then told the Winner heir of his love for a fellow pilot. He described Trowa in as much detail as he could and how at the end of the war they had become inseparable lovers. He spoke further of the year after the war when the five gundam pilots went their separate ways. Duo stated that he'd gone with Heero into hiding and that Quatre had gone back to L-4 to his anxious family while Trowa split his time between L-4 and the circus, trying to give as much of himself to the two people who meant the most to him, Catherine, his circus-sister, and his lover.

After describing the events leading to the final, brief war with Dekium Barton, he spoke of their being put under house arrest at the Palace in Sanq and the political chaos that resulted and their agreeing to the procedure known as Integration as a solution to the building unrest between the colonies and Earth.

"I only agreed to the Integration because I was promised a life with Heero. It was part of the terms of our contract in agreeing to the procedure. We were told we'd have new lives but we would both have implanted memories of a past together as lovers." Duo's face darkened then and his eyes focused on the satin-like fabric of the round sofa bed they rested on. "After being slipped some drugs in a drink at a college party, my memory started coming back, and as it did I found out from one of the doctors that had worked on the Integration that Relena had bribed him to alter our original plans so that Heero would fall in love with her."

He then relayed the steps he took to gain Heero's attention and their trip to the guilty doctor's office where he gained back part of his memories. With tears of frustration and anger in his eyes, Duo fought back his emotions as he spoke of Une turning them over to the Preventers even though their lawyer was working on the legal matters having to do with their Integration. "They separated us, and that was the last time I saw Heero before they forced the Integration on us again."

Looking up though watery eyes, Quatre's blurred face was a picture of sympathy, and with a shaky voice, Duo continued, becoming more angry as the tale progressed. "But they didn't give me back the identity of the person I was originally suppose to be, Chad Westbrook,. No" he spat out, "the second time around they turned me into an emotional cripple and a mouse then placed me with a former Preventer as a caretaker who abused me physically and sexually. I endured his torture for nearly three years, unable to leave or fight back because of the mental triggers they implanted in me. If I fought back or thought of running, I was overcome with symptoms similar to a heart attack; the pain was unbearable, Quat. It didn't matter that it was all in my mind, all I knew was that it hurt like hell." A tear leaked out from the corner of his left eye and slid rapidly down his cheek. "I hated him, my abuser, and I hated myself and my life. I was trapped in a nightmare and couldn't get out."

"But you obviously did escape, didn't you?" Quatre asked softly, his thumb coming up to tenderly brush the wetness from off Duo's face.

"It was an accident, a complete fluke once again, but yeah, I did."

"How?"

Duo found himself at a crossroads. He vowed above all else to protect Duane and Debra. In order to do so, he couldn't reveal their identities or the aid they'd given him. But Quatre had agreed, promised his silence. If things went well this evening, he would be calling Duane to make that trip to L-4 that they's talked about months ago. He decided the safe route was to delay telling the whole truth, protecting his two friends on Earth until the last moment before the Quatre would meet the hypnotist.

"I can't go into it just now," he told the curious blond. "But if you agree to help me, if you want your memories and Trowa back, I'll bring the man here who accidently triggered my memories and then brought me out of my false memories to become aware of who I really am and what's was done to me." His eyes turned to meet with Quatre's. "I owe this person big time, Quat, for all that he's done for me. He helped me even though he was putting himself in danger with the by doing so. The only way I can repay him is by protecting his identity."

Quatre gave a slight nod of his head. "I understand, Grayson."

"Call me Duo."

"Duo?" The blond man questioned, one blond eyebrow lifting.

"That's my name, the name you knew me by during the war."

"Duo." Quatre said the name again, as if trying it out for familiarity. A smile grew on his face, showing that he liked the way it fit the man sitting next to him.

As for Duo, hearing his own name spoken by a friend in such a warm manner seemed to melt some of the cold that had encased his heart since learning of his Integration and killing Scott Mercer. It felt good to confide in someone, and it must have shown on his face for he was immediately found himself turned slightly and pulled into a tender embrace, held by two strong, comforting arms.

"You've had a terrible wrong done to you, my friend," Quatre said softly as he held Duo close against his chest. "And I'm sorry for it."

Being held by the sympathetic man, feeling a warmth and security and a closeness to someone else that he hadn't experienced in so long, too long, made Duo want to hold onto the feeling for as long as possible. He turned until he was almost sitting in Quatre's lap and brought his own arms up and wrapped them tightly around the strong back. With his face buried against the blond's neck, Duo found the pent up feelings of grief and loneliness that had resurfaced during the telling of his story coming back again, despite his best efforts to keep them in check. He squeezed his eyes shut and desperately fought the urge to cry, but the wetness on his face and the shaking of his body told him that his emotions would no longer be denied.

"It's all right, Duo. You're safe here. I'll make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again."

Such words, spoken with tender sincerity, were like a balm to his wounded and lonely soul and they left him desperately clinging to the other man, his friend, silently praying that Quatre meant every one of them.

TBC

Author's note: Thanks to all for comments, support and sympathy.