Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ironic ❯ Blame ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Err I really did try to make this a one-shot! The next chapter will come out in a couple of days…

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Ironic

"Ironic." He muttered dryly into thin air. He placed his hand on the cold glass that separated him from being with her. He wanted to pound his fist and break through it. And he didn't give a damn about the consequences...

"It's all your fault…" He thought to himself.

Heero remembered how he stalked away after their argument. He was explaining to Relena how Colonel Rodriguez had no interest whatsoever in her, and he only intended to make her a stepping stone to strengthen his fame and power.

"He doesn't care for you…don't you understand?" He supported his weight on both of his hands on her desk, looking straight at her eyes.

"It is you who can't understand! You never knew how to show affections! How are you supposed to know if he cares for me or not when you can't even feel?" She replied angrily at him, as she scribbled her signature irritably on a piece of paper and stacked it on the heap of papers on her right hand corner.

He flinched at her reply. His mouth suddenly wry.

"See, now you don't know what to say! You know what? You were better off mute anyway, that mouth never did any good for you!" She replied cruelly, finally fed up being confused. One day he said he felt nothing for her, and the minute she starts talking to someone of the opposite sex, he looks at them like prey.

"We can't go on playing this sick game anymore. I'm not fifteen and neither are you! I can't go on being alone like this…I'm not even going after you…not anymore…not after you hurt me like you did…" She tried to stifle the sobs that were escaping from her mouth, covering her hand with it. He attempted to cover her other hand with his, wanting to tell her the truth. He asked himself why it was too difficult for him.

"No, don't…" She moved her hand away, just as he was about to grasp it. She stood up from her desk, walking to the window to look at the beautiful weather outside which was contrary to the feelings that were welled up inside. She could feel tears cloud her vision, and wiped the first one away resentfully. She turned away from him, wishing he would just leave…disappear into thin air…

She felt his hands turn her around to bring her into his embrace, and she felt like giving in…It just seemed too easy…

She pushed him away with all of her might. "I said don't…don't you dare touch me!" She yelled back at him, suddenly just breaking down and falling on the floor.

"Can't you see? I don't love you anymore, Heero, I just don't…" She looked up to him, seeing the hurt in his eyes. She didn't want to hurt him like that, but it was the only way.

"…Maybe it wasn't even love I felt for you then…I was fifteen, and stupid…we're all stupid when we're fifteen aren't we?" She smiled bitterly at him, giving him the treatment he gave to her.

He felt himself break into a million pieces.

"You mean…what we had meant nothing?" His eyes empty, and his replies understated, he began to realize that he should have told her then, when they still had a future together.

That future seemed like shattered glass now, and he felt as if he shattered it himself.

"What we had is considered as nothing…I don't treasure nothingness, Heero…" She began to stand up, and she walked back steadily to her desk.

"Now, Heero, if our little conversation is over, I still have important things to do…you don't mind do you?" She motioned over to the stack of papers that she dealt with earlier.

He grabbed her wrist roughly, jerking her to him.

"…You can't do this to me Relena…"

"Oh? Watch me." She countered, her eyes challenging him.

He took one last glance at her, released her, he turned around, walked to her door, and slammed it shut.

Heero felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around to meet Dorothy Catalonia's poisonous glare.

"What happened?" Dorothy asked, her eyes looking into his ominously.

"She overdosed on sleeping pills…"

"Is she going to live?" She asked, worried.

"The doctors say there's a chance."

"Yuy, if you were ever the cause of this, I don't give a damn if you're superman or not, I will kill you…" She threatened, her eyes flickering dangerously. He looked at her just as seriously.

"You don't know how much she means to me…I used to hate her then, I wanted everything she had, but after the war, we quickly became friends…she's my confidante, she's like a sister to me…" She placed her hands to cover her eyes, distressed about how her friend would do such a thing.

"You're right, I did this to her…"

She looked back at him, her expression startled. Her eyes widened crossly at him. She knew it all along.

She could recall their chat two days ago, when she asked Dorothy to come over and help her with some political decisions, as well as her own personal affairs.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do with Heero…I'm still in love with him, after all these years…"

"That's just it, Relena, no one wants a desperate woman…" Dorothy replied after sipping her tea and placing it down on her teacup.

Relena only looked at her distantly and she looked as if an idea rang in her mind…

"What did she tell you?" She demanded.

"Nothing…"

"I knew you were over at her estate last night…"

"I told you I didn't do or say anything." Dorothy was beginning to get into his nerves.

"You are a terrible liar, Heero Yuy."

He ignored what she said, and continued to look at Relena. He noticed how her lips were purple, how her skin was colorless, and how her body seemed limp and lifeless. He saw the tubes that were forcing life into her unconscious body, and compared the woman he was seeing now, to the young girl she was then.

"How was she found Heero?" She asked anxiously.

He could also remember that young girl had feelings for him then. She was the Relena he knew he wanted. That woman who he is now looking at saw no need to love him anymore.

"I found her…"

He mused at how ironic it came to be. Just about when he almost thought he could protect her from anything. He intercepted that bomb that was planted in the hotel she was holding a conference in. He has arrested many assassins who have been accused of a conspiracy to kidnap, and execute Relena. He rescued her from nearly drowning in her pool one time. He has saved her so many times…Only to lose her this way.

He even saved her from himself.

But he couldn't save her from herself, and human emotions.

He then told Dorothy about their recent disagreement, and how he found Relena in a motionless heap.

Heero thanked Pagan for opening the door for him. He was annoyed with himself for forgetting to take his laptop with him when he stalked out of her study earlier that night. He wouldn't know what to say to her, what to do to get his laptop. He should have waited till the next day.

"I need to retrieve my laptop. I forgot to take my laptop with me when I left."

"Miss Relena does not wish to be disturbed, sir." Pagan replied.

"I only need to get my laptop."

Pagan nodded then set off to the direction of the kitchen.

He walked down the eerie, empty hall calmly, feeling that rather creepy feeling shoot up his spine. It felt like something was wrong, even though the storm has stopped.

It seemed like forever as he finally reached her study door. If he found her there, he would just come inside, obtain his laptop, and march out of her study, making no such sound, saying no such words.

He had a terrible ache to barge in there, take her in his arms, and tell her how he felt.

The door creaked unusually, for this estate was barely three years old, and the doors were not that old.

He opened the door, and found that the room was empty. He breathed, relieved.

His eyes wandered across the room, and spotted his laptop sitting deftly on her glass coffee table.

What puzzled him was that the windows were wide open, and the strong wind blew the curtains. This might be a risk to her safety.

He strode to the window to close it, and lock it shut. But something stopped him.

He saw a feminine arm sprawled under the desk.

With the reflexes of a soldier, he ran to her side, thinking of the worst.

"Relena…" He turned her body around, and dragged her out so that he could carry her.

He spotted an empty bottle of sleeping pills…

Frantic, he shifted his hands to support her dead weight a bit better, and hurriedly went out of the room.

"Pagan!" He yelled out, hauling her limp body with him.

After a few moments, the old butler scrambled to his side, and gasped as he saw Relena's body.

"She has overdosed on sleeping pills. Just call the hospital. I'll take her there." He replied, drawing the keys out of his pocket, while trying to carry her with his one arm.

"I nearly got a ticket for over speeding, but I out ran the officer and I lost him somewhere."

"She still loves you…you know…" She replied sadly.

He deemed she was lying.

"Last night, she told me she didn't love me anymore…she said she never did, she said she was fifteen, and she was stupid…She said we all do crazy things when we're fifteen…"

"And you believed that?" She countered mockingly. She expected him to know her better than that. "Good lord, Heero Yuy, you've been her bodyguard for only God knows how long, and you've been her heroic savior for so many years…for once I thought you knew everything about her…"

He looked at her in surprise.

"Just between you and me, Heero Yuy, did you ever, or do you still love her?" Dorothy took a seat, placing her purse beside her, knowing this question would be take a hell of a lot of time.

He looked away from Dorothy and switched his gaze to Relena again. He took a deep breath.

"I always have, Dorothy, I always have…You don't know how the seething jealousy rages over me when she gets those marriage proposals…"

"Don't you realize? You should have told her then…she would never have ended up like this…She has kept me happy, comforted me when I needed it, and in return I wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn't you she was with, but her happiness only meant you…" She rose from her seat to look through the glass to see Relena.

"But what am I doing? Saying things about love…when I've forgotten it so long ago…when my father died, my ability to love and to express love died with him…" She licked her lips nervously, and batted her lashes tensely, struggling to keep the tears from shedding.

Just as when he had something to say, he heard the elevator ring echo through the barren hall. The elevator doors opened, showing a young man who had neat blond hair. He wore a pressed white button down shirt, and relaxed khakis to go with it. His left hand carried a bouquet of white carnations, and his hand was conveniently placed in his pocket. He looked rather troubled, but as he saw his two friends down the hall, the corners of his mouth tugged at the ends a bit. He walked over to them.

Heero saw Dorothy's gaze brighten up, but it had a sad touch to it.

"How is she?" Quatre looked at Relena's form through the glass, noticing that she had no color in her whatsoever.

Heero looked at Dorothy and noticed her slight wince of discomfort as she saw Quatre. Quatre placed the flowers on one of the seats, and went back to look at the glass window.

"Heero?" Quatre tapped his shoulder lightly. Heero turned his head and opened his mouth.

"There's a chance…"

"Let's just hope she pulls through…I came as soon as I heard…" He looked at Heero, and stole a glance at Dorothy.

"How have you been, Dorothy? I trust things have been going well?" He looked at her bleakly and darkly, expecting an answer.

"I've been doing just as fine…just as fine…And you, Quatre?"

"My corporation has been running well, I've never been better."

She looked away.

"Is there any way we can get in there? I can't stand staying out here, looking through a piece of glass." She looked around, trying to see if there were any nurses or doctors she could talk to.

"I threatened to break in, but her condition is just too stable out here…"

"We can't lose her this way…Oh Relena…you mean so much to so many people…" Dorothy placed her cold fingers adjacent to the glass, biting her lip.

"I can't save her now…Her life is in someone else's hands…"

"All we can really do is wait…" Quatre declared.

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