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Journey of a Thousand Miles

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

-Confucius-

Part 16

"Quatre, are you going to see Trowa?"

"Yes, Sir." I turned, already on my way out the door, to face Zechs.
"Do me a favor. Take this letter to him, will you? It just came in the mail."

I nodded, as I accepted the envelope that the blond prince handed me. "Any news from Cousin Treize?" I asked.

By now more than three months had passed since he had left England. He was writing to us regularly. The last we had heard was that he had found a local guide, a young man named Wufei, who spoke English.

"No mail from him today." Zechs shook his head. "Perhaps tomorrow."

On my way to the stable I studied the envelope in my hand. The writing was graceful and neat; the sender's name was Catherine Bloom. Trowa's sister I realized. He had told me once that his real name was Bloom, Triton Bloom, and that he had only started calling himself Trowa Barton after he ran away from the orphanage.
"Trowa," I called out as I entered the stable. He was feeding oats to the horses. "Zechs asked me to give you this."

"Oh," he said, as he put down the bucket and wiped his hands on his pants, before taking the letter from me. He ripped it open at once, and as he started reading his face lit up and he smiled.
"The letter is from my sister," he told me. "She says the circus is coming to Chesterfield in about a month. They will be performing there for at least a week."
"Oh, that is wonderful." I exclaimed. "You must be so excited."

"I am," he assured me. "I have waited for this for such a long time. I wonder how much she has changed. She probably won't even recognize me."
I smiled. Never before had I seen Trowa so excited. I was still smiling, when realization hit me like a fist in the stomach. I suddenly remembered that Zechs had made the offer that Trowa could work for him until he could be reunited with his family. This meant, that now that the circus was coming to town, that Trowa would be leaving.
No, my mind screamed, as an icy cold spread through my body and settled in the pit of my stomach. He can't be leaving!

*****

"Are you feeling alright, Quatre?" Zechs asked, as he watched me picking listlessly at the food on my plate.
I just nodded. The blond aristocrat didn't push the issue any further, and I was grateful for it; at least until he came to see me in my room about two hours later.
"Quatre, I think we should talk," he said.
"Does it have to be now? I'm really tired." That wasn't a complete lie. I really was tired, plus I didn't feel like talking at all.

"Are you sure you are alright? You have not been eating much, you have spent a lot of time by yourself in your room, and you really do look exhausted. Should I send for the doctor? Do you feel ill?"
"I'm fine."
"Then what is it?"
"It's nothing," I replied evasively, but Zechs wasn't satisfied with that.
"Well…" He sat down in an armchair, draping one long leg over the other. "Then, why don't you tell me a little about "nothing"?" he demanded.
I sighed, because I realized that he wasn't going to leave until I had told him what was wrong. "Trowa is going to leave and return to the circus now, isn't he?" I finally asked.
"I really don't know," Zechs admitted. "Back when I took him in, I promised him that I would help him to find his sister, but we never really talked about what he would do afterward."
"I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay here with us, with me. I keep telling myself, that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I should be happy for him, because he will be with his sister again, but I just can't help but think of all the things I'll miss when he is gone. I'm happy when I'm with him. I don't want it to stop. It just doesn't seem fair." I snorted. "Listen to me. I'm sounding like a selfish, little brat, aren't I?"

"No, Quatre." Zechs' voice was surprisingly gentle. "I think you sound like somebody who has fallen in love for the very first time and, is now experiencing all the heartache and anguish than comes with it."

I could feel myself flush, and I stared down into my lap, trying to hide my burning cheeks.

"Have you spoken to Trowa about it?" he asked. "Have you told him about your feelings?"
"No, of course not." I exclaimed, shocked by the mere suggestion. I wasn't even sure yet about those feelings myself. "What if he doesn't feel the same way? I'm afraid I might risk our friendship by telling him."

*****

I was sitting at the shore of Blue Lake, fishing pole in hand, staring silently out onto the water. Fishing wasn't much fun without Trowa either. I sighed.

You better get used to it, I told myself. Soon he will be gone, and you will be alone again, all the time.
Of course I knew that wasn't true. I still had Zechs, and cousin Treize was going to return in another two or three months, but it just wasn't the same.

"Do you mind if I join you?"
The sound of Trowa's voice almost startled me. I had not heard him approach. I turned my head and gave my friend a tiny smile. "No, of course not."
"Did I do something, Quatre? Are you angry at me?" he asked as he settled down in the grass near me.

"I'm not angry at you." I frowned. "What would make you think that?"

"The fact that you have been trying to avoid me for the past few days."

"I'm not avoiding you. I just… I needed to be alone for a little bit. I needed to think."

"I understand. Master Zechs indicated that much." Trowa nodded. "But he also said that you might want to talk to me?"

"He did?"
Another nod.
I didn't say anything, but instead stared onto the lake. How could I tell him how I felt without sounding selfish? It just didn't seem possible.
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked after a while.
"No, please don't."

There was another long pause before I turned my head and looked at him. "After you go back to the circus, Trowa, will you at least come and visit me, every once in a while?" I asked, voice barely above a whisper.
"Visit you?" Trowa looked at me, confusion in those green eyes. "Quatre, I'll only be gone for little more than a week."
"A week?" I echoed. "You mean you will not leave for good."
"Of course not. I talked to Master Zechs last night and he said that he would give me time off for as long as the circus is in Chesterfield, so that I can go and spend that time with my sister. Once they move on, I'll return."

"But…"I stammered. "I thought…You always said that the circus is your home, your family."

"That was a long time ago," Trowa replied softly. "This is my home now. You thought that I was going to leave?"
I nodded, feeling a little sheepish and very embarrassed at that moment.
"How could I leave?" He gave me a wink. "Master Zechs would be completely helpless without me."

I couldn't help but smile. Yes, I suppose he was right about that.

"Quatre, watch out." Trowa suddenly cried out, just as I felt the fishing pole jerk in my hands. "Something is biting."
I tried to pull the line in quickly, but it was already too late. Not only was the fish gone, but my bait as well.
"Too bad," I said. "It felt like a big one too; probably big enough to be cooked for dinner."
"But you don't even like fish." Trowa reminded me, and we both started to laugh.

"Tell me more about the circus, Trowa." I asked once we had calmed down again. "Tell me about your sister. Is she an acrobat, a dancer?"
"Actually," Trowa smiled. "She performs in a knife throwing act. When I was small I used to be her 'target'. I was bound to a platform and she would throw knives at me, aiming as close as she could without actually hitting me."
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped slightly. "Are you serious? Wasn't that scary?"

He laughed, deep and soft. "It wasn't that scary, really. I knew Catherine was never going to hurt me. I'm not the only one in our family with a good aim and a steady hand. You know, you and Master Zechs should come and see the show some day."

"I would love to." When I was very small my parents had taken me to the circus once. I still remembered how wonderful it had been.
While we were talking we had barely noticed that the sky had darkened. It was still early in the afternoon, a long time before the sun was due to set.

"We'd better leave." I suggested as I looked up at the sky and noticed big dark clouds moving in. "It looks like it is going to rain any minute now."
"Those are not just rain clouds." Trowa said. "It's a thunderstorm; and it is moving fast. We are never going to make it home in time. Let's head for the gamekeepers cabin instead. It's closer."
I nodded, as I started to pick up my fishing gear.
The gamekeeper cabin was a small cottage about half way between Blue Lake and Rosewood Manor, where, as the name suggests, a gamekeeper lived at one point in time. Now it stood empty.
Only minutes after we had left the lake it started to rain, and by the time we reached the cabin it was pouring. The first bolt of lightning lit up the darkened sky, followed by the rumbling sounds of thunder.
"There are some oil lamps somewhere," Trowa said as he unlocked the door to the cottage. "Go ahead and light them, while I go and fetch some firewood from the shed."

The cabin had only two rooms downstairs; a small kitchen and a large living area. I found the lamps, and some matches on a shelf in the kitchen. A few minutes later Trowa was back with the wood. As soon as the fire was burning the place looked much more inviting.

"Take off your coat," Trowa told me as he begun to unbutton his own. "We can hang them up to dry while we are waiting."

He left and returned moments later with two blankets, one of which he draped around my shoulders as we settled down by the fireplace.

The rain was pounding against the windows; the lightning strikes sounded much closer now, and the thunder rumbled ominously.
"Quatre, you are shivering. Are you still cold?"
"Just a little," I admitted. "But I'm sure the room will warm up soon."
Slowly and cautiously Trowa brought his arm up and put it around me. I could feel my heartbeat quicken, as he pulled me closer and put his blanket around both of us. "Better now?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, thank you."

"This is alright, isn't it? Putting my arm around you, I mean?" Trowa inquired quietly. "I really don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"No, it is fine." I assured him, and then, with a bashful smile, I added. "I like it. It feels nice."

He smiled back at me and pulled me even closer. We were huddling so close together now that I could feel his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. For a long time we just sat their quietly, staring into the flames, but it wasn't just the heat from the fire that made me feel all warm inside.
Then Trowa moved, and for a moment I was afraid that he was going to get up. But he only turned a little sideways so that we were facing each other. My mouth went dry and I swallowed convulsively, as he leaned closer, so close that our noses nearly touched. I could feel my cheeks flush, and was almost afraid to breathe. He stared into my eyes and slowly raised one hand to my face. His fingers grazed my cheek and his thumb brushed over my heated lips. Then he slowly closed the distance between us and covered my lips with his. I could feel my heart pounding, and a strange heat spread through my body.
"Quatre," Trowa breathed as he pulled away ever so slowly. "You are more beautiful than anybody I have ever laid eyes on."

I blushed deeply, and at that moment I wished that the rain would never stop and that we could sit like this forever.

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T.B.C.

Author's Note:

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