Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Kindergarten Heero ❯ Chapter 5
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Calic0cat 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.01.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 666 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.01.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 666 | Status: Completed
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Title: Kindergarten Heero
Chapter: 5/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: June 8, 2003
Genre: Shonen Ai/Yaoi, Drama, Romance, Fusion
Pairing: 1x2, 13x6
Rated: R(?)
Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing, Death (*not* one of the guys)
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com/ (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: This is a fusion with the movie "Kindergarten Cop". Blame that pic of Heero with a ferret and the fact that the "Kindergarten Cop" DVD was on a sale rack and caught my attention. Feedback is appreciated.
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Heero straightened his shoulders and braced himself for the next task. Somehow, he'd gotten through the morning without any major disasters. Sparing a silent curse for the fact that the kid's mother had chosen a school district with all-day kindergarten classes, Heero met the afternoon with grim determination.
If only he could be at least a little bit successful with his attempt to figure out which of these little horrors was actually Khushrenada's brat, he might actually feel like he'd accomplished something. "Okay class, we're going to play a little game now. Won't that be fun?" The blank looks he was receiving from the children weren't exactly encouraging. But Hilde had sworn that couching the question session as a game would get better results than merely asking them his questions would. "This game is called 'Who's My Daddy and What Does He Do'," Heero continued, trying very hard not to scowl darkly. He *really* wanted to get through at least part of the day without reducing the class to tears.
"Is he a fireman?" "A doctor?" "I bet he's real mean..."
Bewildered, it took Heero a few moments to realize that the kids were wildly trying to guess who *his* father was. "No, no, no..." he said, shaking his head. He sighed heavily and massaged his temples. He *never* got headaches but for the second day in a row, he had a damn nasty one developing.
"What's the matter?" a little boy asked.
Heero sighed again, "I have a headache." He regretted saying that immediately, knowing that it would inevitably lead the conversation off at a tangent.
"It might be a tumour," Helen piped up knowingly.
"No, no, no, it's not a tumour. It's not a tumour at all," Heero corrected hastily. The child was disturbingly morbid at times. And incredibly helpful at others. "It's just a headache." He cleared his throat and tried again. "The way the game works is that *you* each tell *me* who your daddy is and what he does."
"Oh..." the children chorused.
Hoping that they really *did* understand this time, Heero motioned for one of the little boys to start things off.
"My daddy sells used cars. Mommy says he could sell sand in the desert," the child stated proudly.
Heero motioned for the next child to take her turn. "My dad is a dentist. He drills holes in people's teeth if they eat too much candy," the dark haired girl said knowingly.
"My dad is a couch potato. Mommy says that's all he's any good for," the next child proclaimed.
Identical twins stood and chorused, "Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine."
Closing his gaping mouth with a snap, Heero answered the girls' inquiring look with a nod and a motion for the next child to take his turn. He wondered why the hell parents didn't watch what they said around their kids a little more closely. Some of what came out of the little imps' mouths was absolutely appalling.
"Daddy doesn't live with us anymore. He pumps gas in Boston." Heero jotted down a note by Emily's name. A father not currently with the family could easily be anyone, anywhere. Including Kushrenada in L.A.
"My dad's divorced and my mom's divorced too." Heero added another name to his "maybe" list.
Helen stood and said, "My uncle's a teacher at this school." She started to sit back down again.
Heero frowned. "That's very nice Helen, but what does your daddy do?"
The girl scowled at him and said, "I don't know my..." She hesitated and said the next word very slowly and carefully, "bi-o-lo-gi-cal," Heero raised one eyebrow, impressed, before she continued more smoothly, "father and I don't need to. Mommy said that my uncle was a better dad than him anyway." She crossed her arms and glared at Heero defiantly. He had the distinct impression that she was daring him to press the subject. He added another name to the "maybe" roster.
Continuing through the class, Heero finally reached the last kid. The girl sat with her back to the rest of the class, completely ignoring them while she played by herself. "Okay, now it's..." 'Shimatta, I don't remember her name...' "The girl at the back, with her back to us, what's her name?" he asked the class.
"Her name's Alexia Mueller," Helen volunteered. "She doesn't like to talk to anybody."
"Yeah, she's a real poo-poo face," one of the others chimed in.
Other catcalls and insults from the rest of the class followed. Heero stood and scowled at them unhappily. "Quiet!" he ordered sharply. "That's enough!" He moved to the back of the room to stand beside Alexia. She was hitting one doll with another repeatedly. "Come on, Alexia. Let's all play together. It's so much more fun that way," he coaxed, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. He placed one hand lightly on her shoulder. She kept smacking the dolls together. "Did your daddy teach you that game?" he asked, hoping to at least find out whether or not her dad was around.
She jerked away from him sharply. "Leave me alone!"
The sudden, staccato ringing of the school bell prevented Heero from pursuing the subject any further. "What's that?" he demanded. An instant later, he realized, "It's a fire alarm!" Suddenly, the kids were running around hysterically, shrieking, pushing, jumping on furniture. "Come on!" Heero urged, grabbing a couple and dragging them towards the door. He lined them up and turned away to capture others. "Line up!" he ordered in frustration. Each time he added a couple of kids to the lineup, another would take off running and screaming again. He gritted his teeth and worked faster. He could see other classes filing past the door in an orderly manner. Why the hell couldn't the damn kid have been a few years older? He might have had better luck handling grade three or four kids...
***
Principal Une stared at the school door and tapped her ruler against her megaphone impatiently. She could hear the screaming getting louder. Only one class was missing and at last they burst through the doorway in utter disorganization. The new kindergarten teacher brought up the rear with a child tucked under each arm and a distinctly harried look on his face. She smiled grimly for a moment before replacing the smile with a dark frown. She raised the megaphone to her mouth and cleared her throat loudly. "Thank you for finally joining us," she said, "though at nearly five minutes, you should all be ashamed of yourselves." She hid a smirk at the chagrined look on the so-called teacher's face before continuing, "All the other grades, your times are better but still not good enough..."
Heero winced. Five minutes truly was terrible. He was forced to admit that he had absolutely no control over his class. It was humiliating to realize just how much of a failure he was at this teacher business. He caught a sympathetic look from the handsome teacher that he *still* hadn't been properly introduced to and managed to give him a rueful half-smile and a helpless shrug.
***
As the final school bell rang, Heero breathed a sigh of relief. One more day over with. Spotting Alexia heading slowly out of the building, he hurried after her, hoping to speak with her. Maybe this time he would have better luck in finding out something about her father. As she continued out past the busses and towards a waiting car, Heero realized that he might actually get to meet her mother. He lengthened his strides and called, "Mrs. Mueller! Mrs. Mueller!" in the hope that she would wait to see what he wanted.
Unfortunately, his hope was in vain. The car pulled away and drove off before he reached it. He watched it go thoughtfully. He was certain that he'd seen the woman driving look straight at him before she'd put the car in gear. Almost as if she didn't want to talk to him. 'If Leia Barton is trying to keep a low profile, she might try not to be seen in public...' Mentally, he added Alexia to his list of candidates. She *did* have rather thick eyebrows though they weren't pointy like Khushrenada's...
***
"So anyway, the doctor said it was probably just the stomach flu and I could eat whatever I wanted," Hilde said with a grin. She carefully *didn't* mention the fact that Dr. Po had also implied that it might have been psychosomatic, caused by some type of stress. 'Like returning to teaching kindergarten...' "So, let's find a restaurant and *eat*!"
"Fine," Heero agreed. "But could we possibly talk about business for a few minutes?" he asked a bit plaintively. Once Hilde got thinking about her stomach, it was practically impossible to get her to focus on the truly important things. Like their *job*.
"Sure, sure," she agreed carelessly, turning down a sidestreet and dragging Heero with her. "Doesn't anyone *eat* around here?" she muttered, looking around for a restaurant.
"I've got several possibles and one likely," Heero said, pulling a list and a class photo out of his pocket and unfolding it. "Alexia Mueller is the likely. Doesn't she look a lot like Khushrenada?" he demanded.
Hilde threw a glance at the photo Heero stuffed in front of her face. "Uh yeah. Sure. Whatever you say," she mumbled as she pushed it away and looked around again for a restaurant.
"*Look* at her," Heero insisted, thrusting the picture into Hilde's line of sight again. "She's practically his spitting image!"
Sighing in defeat, Hilde looked more closely at the photo. "Maybe there's a slight resemblance," she admitted. 'But not much,' she added silently. Heavy eyebrows were about the only thing she could see that the girl had in common with Khushrenada.
Ahead of them, Heero spotted a long braid just entering a doorway. He was *sure* that was the young man he'd been trying to meet properly! 'And he just went into a restaurant! Perfect!' Well, it would be more perfect if he didn't have Hilde with him but at this point he'd take what he could get. "Look, there's a restaurant right over there," he said. "Let's just try that one."
"Great! I'm *starved*!" Hilde exclaimed.
Heero bit his tongue to prevent himself from asking her if she ever *wasn't*.
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Title: Kindergarten Heero
Chapter: 5/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: June 8, 2003
Genre: Shonen Ai/Yaoi, Drama, Romance, Fusion
Pairing: 1x2, 13x6
Rated: R(?)
Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing, Death (*not* one of the guys)
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com/ (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: This is a fusion with the movie "Kindergarten Cop". Blame that pic of Heero with a ferret and the fact that the "Kindergarten Cop" DVD was on a sale rack and caught my attention. Feedback is appreciated.
#################################################
Heero straightened his shoulders and braced himself for the next task. Somehow, he'd gotten through the morning without any major disasters. Sparing a silent curse for the fact that the kid's mother had chosen a school district with all-day kindergarten classes, Heero met the afternoon with grim determination.
If only he could be at least a little bit successful with his attempt to figure out which of these little horrors was actually Khushrenada's brat, he might actually feel like he'd accomplished something. "Okay class, we're going to play a little game now. Won't that be fun?" The blank looks he was receiving from the children weren't exactly encouraging. But Hilde had sworn that couching the question session as a game would get better results than merely asking them his questions would. "This game is called 'Who's My Daddy and What Does He Do'," Heero continued, trying very hard not to scowl darkly. He *really* wanted to get through at least part of the day without reducing the class to tears.
"Is he a fireman?" "A doctor?" "I bet he's real mean..."
Bewildered, it took Heero a few moments to realize that the kids were wildly trying to guess who *his* father was. "No, no, no..." he said, shaking his head. He sighed heavily and massaged his temples. He *never* got headaches but for the second day in a row, he had a damn nasty one developing.
"What's the matter?" a little boy asked.
Heero sighed again, "I have a headache." He regretted saying that immediately, knowing that it would inevitably lead the conversation off at a tangent.
"It might be a tumour," Helen piped up knowingly.
"No, no, no, it's not a tumour. It's not a tumour at all," Heero corrected hastily. The child was disturbingly morbid at times. And incredibly helpful at others. "It's just a headache." He cleared his throat and tried again. "The way the game works is that *you* each tell *me* who your daddy is and what he does."
"Oh..." the children chorused.
Hoping that they really *did* understand this time, Heero motioned for one of the little boys to start things off.
"My daddy sells used cars. Mommy says he could sell sand in the desert," the child stated proudly.
Heero motioned for the next child to take her turn. "My dad is a dentist. He drills holes in people's teeth if they eat too much candy," the dark haired girl said knowingly.
"My dad is a couch potato. Mommy says that's all he's any good for," the next child proclaimed.
Identical twins stood and chorused, "Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine."
Closing his gaping mouth with a snap, Heero answered the girls' inquiring look with a nod and a motion for the next child to take his turn. He wondered why the hell parents didn't watch what they said around their kids a little more closely. Some of what came out of the little imps' mouths was absolutely appalling.
"Daddy doesn't live with us anymore. He pumps gas in Boston." Heero jotted down a note by Emily's name. A father not currently with the family could easily be anyone, anywhere. Including Kushrenada in L.A.
"My dad's divorced and my mom's divorced too." Heero added another name to his "maybe" list.
Helen stood and said, "My uncle's a teacher at this school." She started to sit back down again.
Heero frowned. "That's very nice Helen, but what does your daddy do?"
The girl scowled at him and said, "I don't know my..." She hesitated and said the next word very slowly and carefully, "bi-o-lo-gi-cal," Heero raised one eyebrow, impressed, before she continued more smoothly, "father and I don't need to. Mommy said that my uncle was a better dad than him anyway." She crossed her arms and glared at Heero defiantly. He had the distinct impression that she was daring him to press the subject. He added another name to the "maybe" roster.
Continuing through the class, Heero finally reached the last kid. The girl sat with her back to the rest of the class, completely ignoring them while she played by herself. "Okay, now it's..." 'Shimatta, I don't remember her name...' "The girl at the back, with her back to us, what's her name?" he asked the class.
"Her name's Alexia Mueller," Helen volunteered. "She doesn't like to talk to anybody."
"Yeah, she's a real poo-poo face," one of the others chimed in.
Other catcalls and insults from the rest of the class followed. Heero stood and scowled at them unhappily. "Quiet!" he ordered sharply. "That's enough!" He moved to the back of the room to stand beside Alexia. She was hitting one doll with another repeatedly. "Come on, Alexia. Let's all play together. It's so much more fun that way," he coaxed, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. He placed one hand lightly on her shoulder. She kept smacking the dolls together. "Did your daddy teach you that game?" he asked, hoping to at least find out whether or not her dad was around.
She jerked away from him sharply. "Leave me alone!"
The sudden, staccato ringing of the school bell prevented Heero from pursuing the subject any further. "What's that?" he demanded. An instant later, he realized, "It's a fire alarm!" Suddenly, the kids were running around hysterically, shrieking, pushing, jumping on furniture. "Come on!" Heero urged, grabbing a couple and dragging them towards the door. He lined them up and turned away to capture others. "Line up!" he ordered in frustration. Each time he added a couple of kids to the lineup, another would take off running and screaming again. He gritted his teeth and worked faster. He could see other classes filing past the door in an orderly manner. Why the hell couldn't the damn kid have been a few years older? He might have had better luck handling grade three or four kids...
***
Principal Une stared at the school door and tapped her ruler against her megaphone impatiently. She could hear the screaming getting louder. Only one class was missing and at last they burst through the doorway in utter disorganization. The new kindergarten teacher brought up the rear with a child tucked under each arm and a distinctly harried look on his face. She smiled grimly for a moment before replacing the smile with a dark frown. She raised the megaphone to her mouth and cleared her throat loudly. "Thank you for finally joining us," she said, "though at nearly five minutes, you should all be ashamed of yourselves." She hid a smirk at the chagrined look on the so-called teacher's face before continuing, "All the other grades, your times are better but still not good enough..."
Heero winced. Five minutes truly was terrible. He was forced to admit that he had absolutely no control over his class. It was humiliating to realize just how much of a failure he was at this teacher business. He caught a sympathetic look from the handsome teacher that he *still* hadn't been properly introduced to and managed to give him a rueful half-smile and a helpless shrug.
***
As the final school bell rang, Heero breathed a sigh of relief. One more day over with. Spotting Alexia heading slowly out of the building, he hurried after her, hoping to speak with her. Maybe this time he would have better luck in finding out something about her father. As she continued out past the busses and towards a waiting car, Heero realized that he might actually get to meet her mother. He lengthened his strides and called, "Mrs. Mueller! Mrs. Mueller!" in the hope that she would wait to see what he wanted.
Unfortunately, his hope was in vain. The car pulled away and drove off before he reached it. He watched it go thoughtfully. He was certain that he'd seen the woman driving look straight at him before she'd put the car in gear. Almost as if she didn't want to talk to him. 'If Leia Barton is trying to keep a low profile, she might try not to be seen in public...' Mentally, he added Alexia to his list of candidates. She *did* have rather thick eyebrows though they weren't pointy like Khushrenada's...
***
"So anyway, the doctor said it was probably just the stomach flu and I could eat whatever I wanted," Hilde said with a grin. She carefully *didn't* mention the fact that Dr. Po had also implied that it might have been psychosomatic, caused by some type of stress. 'Like returning to teaching kindergarten...' "So, let's find a restaurant and *eat*!"
"Fine," Heero agreed. "But could we possibly talk about business for a few minutes?" he asked a bit plaintively. Once Hilde got thinking about her stomach, it was practically impossible to get her to focus on the truly important things. Like their *job*.
"Sure, sure," she agreed carelessly, turning down a sidestreet and dragging Heero with her. "Doesn't anyone *eat* around here?" she muttered, looking around for a restaurant.
"I've got several possibles and one likely," Heero said, pulling a list and a class photo out of his pocket and unfolding it. "Alexia Mueller is the likely. Doesn't she look a lot like Khushrenada?" he demanded.
Hilde threw a glance at the photo Heero stuffed in front of her face. "Uh yeah. Sure. Whatever you say," she mumbled as she pushed it away and looked around again for a restaurant.
"*Look* at her," Heero insisted, thrusting the picture into Hilde's line of sight again. "She's practically his spitting image!"
Sighing in defeat, Hilde looked more closely at the photo. "Maybe there's a slight resemblance," she admitted. 'But not much,' she added silently. Heavy eyebrows were about the only thing she could see that the girl had in common with Khushrenada.
Ahead of them, Heero spotted a long braid just entering a doorway. He was *sure* that was the young man he'd been trying to meet properly! 'And he just went into a restaurant! Perfect!' Well, it would be more perfect if he didn't have Hilde with him but at this point he'd take what he could get. "Look, there's a restaurant right over there," he said. "Let's just try that one."
"Great! I'm *starved*!" Hilde exclaimed.
Heero bit his tongue to prevent himself from asking her if she ever *wasn't*.
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