Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Letters from Duo ❯ Chapter 12

By: Mel and Christy
Warnings: Humour

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Duo grinned at Heero as the Japanese pilot slipped into Zechs' quarters and walked up to him. "Your bombs set?" he asked.

"Yes, the bombs on the suits are set, I've got the information J requested on disk and Zechs should be on his way here in about eight minutes. Are you finished?" Heero asked quietly, cocking his head to the side as he watched the braided teen upload something to the OZ pilot's computer, then type a message. "Duo, you are truly evil at times, did you know that?"

"Hmmm... not evil, Hee-chan. I am irascible, precocious, and on occasion even juvenile, but not evil. And yes, my bombs are set and the virus is uploaded."

"Hn. Move over, I feel a juvenile moment coming on."

"Heero... I am so proud of you! You're actually loosening up!"

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FROM: Shinigami_and_Wing@Booms_R_Us.net
SENT: 21:37 February 13, 196AC
<NO FURTHER MESSAGE DATA>

---message begins---

Sexy Zechsy Babe!

Sorry we missed you, but you were enjoying that wonderful mess hall cuisine and we didn't want to interrupt your fine dining experience. So, we just took what we came for and left you some gifts in appreciation for all that you do for us. Annnnd... since you *did* fix Wing for Heero, then you let him leave with said Gundam, I figured I owed you a warning and some small consideration: the residence areas and barracks have NOT been targeted.

Well, gotta run. It's time for Hee-chan's daily lesson in 'Jokes, Pranks and Being 16-ish 101'!

Ta ta for now!

Duo Maxwell- Lord of the Underworld

P.S. You have approximately three minutes before things start going *BOOM*, just enough time to warn your people. You triggered the bombs when you clicked on the scythe. I am good. Don't bother trying to find the bombs, it will never happen. We are masters at hiding things.

Heero Yui- Lord of Computers and Hacking

---message ends---

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* * * * *

Zechs Merquise entered his quarters, muttering to himself about the food and making a mental note to sack the cook, and noticed a scythe blinking on his computer screen. With a sigh, and telling himself he'd probably regret it, he clicked on the scythe.

The screen split in two horizontally, with chibi Tallgeeses in grass skirts and straw hats dancing across the top half, and the email message on the lower half. Calypso music began at the same time and a deep computerised, yet surprisingly real-sounding voice began singing.

'Du-o, Du-u-u-o
Duo come and he bringin' de bombs
Du-o, Du-u-u-o
Lots of bombs an' dey gonna go boom

Work all night on makin' bombs
Daylight come and me wan' go snooze
Sleep all day till de nighttime come
Sneak on base no time to lose
Du-o, Du-u-u-o
Duo come and he's settin' de bombs
Du-o, Du-u-u-o
Duo come and he's settin' de bombs

Come, Mister Ozzie-man, c'mon and surrender
Duo come now he wan' go home
Come, Mister Ozzie-man, let's all go on a bender
Heero helped now he wan' go home
Du-o, Du-u-u-o
Duo come and he set off de bombs
Du-o, Du-u-u-o
Kicked your ass and dey already gone'*

Shaking his head, he read the email, then ran out and called a red alert. Precisely two minutes and forty-two seconds later every suit, barring Tallgeese, blew up. At the same time, all the base computers purged every one of their files and all that was left were the chibi Tallgeeses dancing across the screens and the song playing through the speakers. Setting up damage control and getting the various technicians to work reprogramming, Zechs stalked back to his quarters, snarled and began a reply.

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FROM: Merquise.Z@OZ.org
TO: Shinigami_and_Wing@Booms_R_Us.net
SENT: 22:25 February 13, 196AC
SUBJECT: You utter BRAT!

---message begins---

Maxwell!

It's bad enough that you have to destroy *my* base and *my* suits, and have the damned computers sing something inane at me (with a tune I am *never* going to get out of my head, thank you *so* much), but do you have to corrupt the best opponent I've found in years? Yui was a serious threat, a challenge, someone I could be proud of fighting! He's still a threat and a challenge, but how can I be proud of fighting someone who could pull some stupid practical trick on me at any moment?!

Yui,

I am surprised at you.

Damn it. What am I supposed to do now, challenge Chang?

--Zechs. Not 'Zechsy', not 'Sexy Zechsy', just Zechs. And Maxwell, if you make some kind of joke about 'does that mean your love life is in a slump', I am coming after you personally.

---message ends---

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* * * * *

"*Snicker* I guess we hit a nerve or two."

"Hn. Looks like it. ...Do you feel like corrupting me a bit more?"

"Why Hee-chan, whatever could you have in mind?"

"You never got around to teaching me to make s'mores."

"*Heh* True. I'll have to go get the ingredients, though."

"Fine. While you're doing that, I can answer Zech's email. After all, he only said you couldn't make jokes about his sex life..."

"You're joking... Aren't you?"

"*Smirk* Yes."

"I am not sure whether that's a relief or a disappointment..."

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