Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Letters from Duo ❯ Chapter 27

By: Mel and Christy
Warnings: Humour

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Duo took a big gulp of the milky pink antacid straight from the bottle, and shuddered. "Ugh. It doesn't even taste like strawberries; it's just... pink. Pink chalk. Yuck. Nearly two hundred since we started living in space, and we can't make an antacid that tastes of something better than pink chalk?"

Putting the bottle down, he scrubbed vigorously at his mouth with the back of his hand, then started to type.

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FROM: Ahhhhh@Arsenic.org
TO: Mask@Rent_a_Clown.net
SENT: 18:41 November 28, 196AC
SUBJECT: Trowa- HELP!

---message begins---

Trowa...

A word to the wise... While she is actually a very nice, smart and considerate girl now that we fixed her crazy obssessive habits, do not let Relena attempt to cook and do not let her wash the good dishes (if we had any)! Since she and Heero are now 'together'-- yes, I am a god... maybe I should switch to calling myself the god of love?-- she decided to make dinner for him, and for me, since I was 'instrumental in clearing up all the misconceptions that were plaguing Heero and me'. What a mistake! Next time I try to infiltrate an OZ mess hall, the food's got to be better.

First, she nearly destroyed the kitchen... it took me two hours to clean it. The roast was waaaaaay over done-- can you say charbroiled-- the vegetables were nearly raw, the gravy was worse than lumpy and the biscuits were hard as rocks. I'm considering using them as ammunition against some Leos or something. Heero and I managed to choke some of it down. I thought she was going to burst into tears after she tried some herself. I sent Heero out for take away, and volunteered you to teach her to cook, if she really wanted to learn. You are the best cook of all of us, you know. Only the best for my friends... don't hit me for volunteering you when I see you next.

So, anyway, will you and Quatre be around next week? Relena wants to sit down to dinner with all of us. I think she sees the rest of us as potential brothers-in-law, not that it bothers me, as long as she doesn't attempt to poison me again. I doubt 'Fei will deign to show up... probably make up a mission or something, but that's his loss. I figured you and I could cook this time. I picked up this huge recipe book and it looks like there's some great stuff in it.

Let me know, okay?

Duo... who just missed needing his stomach pumped...

---message ends---

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* * * * *

"Quatre... we may have to change our plans for next weekend."

"Why?" The blond pilot glanced up from his book to see Trowa reading something on the laptop and his face fell. "Oh, no! A mission?"

"No. Duo's volunteered me to teach Relena to cook," Trowa said dryly. "I feel a sudden need to not go and visit them."

"It can't be that bad!" Quatre objected.

"According to Duo's description of her current culinary skills, oh yes it can. Read this."

After Quatre finished, he sat back and blinked a few times. "Um... I see what you mean."

"How are you feeling?" Trowa asked, in an apparent non sequiter.

"Fine... why?"

"Duo will never believe it if I tell him I'm sick," the taller teen smirked. "But if you get ill, of course I'll have to stay here and take care of you... Are you sure you're okay? You look a little flushed."

Suppressing a giggle with an effort, Quatre fixed a stern look on his face and pointed at the computer. "Answer it. We're going. She's not going to be cooking our meal, after all; she's just going to be taking lessons."

"I'm still going to have to taste it."

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FROM: Mask@Rent_a_Clown.net
TO: Ahhhhh@Arsenic.org
SENT: 19:30 November 28, 196AC
SUBJECT: Re: Trowa- HELP!

---message begins---

Duo,

'Rent a Clown'? Don't you mean 'Rent a Cook'? or am I supposed to be a sacrifice on the altar of your stomach? No guarantees. If you're telling the truth-- and yes, I know you never lie, but you *do* exaggerate when it suits you-- Relena's either a complete beginner in the kitchen, or the Anti-Cook. If she's totally inexperienced, I can teach her. If not... remember that anime you showed me a few months ago? The one with the cursed springs? People like Akane *do* exist.

See you next week.

--Trowa

P.S. Next time you want to bring someone into a messy situation like this one, you might want to give them the details *after* they've arrived to help. If Quatre had let me, I'd be running for the hills right now.

---message ends---

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