Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Lie to Me ❯ Lie to Me ( Chapter 1 )

DISCLAIMER: I do not, and never will, own Gundam Wing it belongs to the lovely people at Sunrise. Duo and Heero own each other, so no luck there either….sigh.

RATING: PG-13

SUMMARY: Heero is in love with Duo but will he be able to get past his friend's reluctance to see what he really wants? Will Duo be able to admit what is true in his heart or will he be asking Heero, "Lie to me"?

Lie to Me

By Niahmas

~*Say you don't love me

Say you don't care

Say you don't mind

When I'm no longer there

Say it doesn't hurt

Say there is no pain

Say you wouldn't care

If I was on another plain

Say you don't need me

Cos I won't care if it's true

So long as you know that

I will always love you…*~

It wasn't meant to end up like this you know, but as it goers every fairytale has to have some sort of an ending; albeit bad or good. It was supposed to turn out ok, it was supposed to turn out happily ever after. Instead, that little incredulous bitch we call fate decided otherwise.

Now, I`ll admit I wasn't all that comfortable with what was going on, yet I know what I am like with feelings. Where he just doesn't seem to have any most of the time, I seem to over-compensate for such lets say.

This time was different.

The room was dark when I stepped inside, answering his call as all good little sidekicks should do. I remember the thought of Batman and Robin flashing in my mind, grinning; then mumbling something less than polite when I realised Robin was probably gay, I mean, he was always by Batman's side, staying over at his boss's place, all to happy to help in every way possible at any time possible…I glanced at my watch, pretty much like me. I forced myself to stop thinking along those lines when the implications were raised, things were complicated enough as they were, I didn't need my own mixed feelings out there too…

Shrugging it all off, I knocked lightly on the door. Entering on command, I walked over to the large, mahogany-shaded desk and sat down opposite Heero. The chair squeaked slightly with my weight, I knew it would before I sat down. Leather had a tendency to do such things I noted with a grin. I had, of course, tried to convince him to get something other than that material but he wouldn't hear of it. Looking at his outfit I could understand why. Black pleather moulded to his legs, gripping tightly in all the right places whilst a vest top of the same material covered his muscled torso. A step up from spandex I noted with a sly smirk. My eyes suddenly found their way to study his face; I really wanted to look away upon realising what I was doing but my mind didn't seem to be as strong as it used to be…at least that's what I told myself.

Dark hair adorned a flawless complexion, a few loose strands hanging down over those cloudless coloured eyes. My fingers wanted to reach forward and brush those wisps away; they wanted to so much I had to clasp both of my hands together to resist the urge.

What was wrong with me?! First admiring his physique and then wanting to touch him?!

I shook my head, maybe I had a cold…strictly pushing the obvious truth that I was Shinigami, God of Death and therefore immune to such out of my mind, I nodded. Yes, a cold.

"After you are done trying to subtly stare at me, take a look at these"

I snapped out of my thoughts, head automatically turning to meet the icy, unyielding eyes of Heero. I knew I was blushing…I mean, staring at your boss was one thing, but getting caught staring at your boss was another entirely. I mumbled an apology and stood up, walking around to the other side of the desk so I could see what he was meaning. Various words and images flickered on a computer screen as I studied them intently; trying not to focus on the close proximity of the two of us, or how warm he seemed to be…and certainly not how good he smelled right then. It was kind of a mix between foreign spices and cool embers, deliciously exotic…why hadn't I noticed it before?

I swallowed hard and forced myself to push my whole capability into concentrating on work. My mixed feelings didn't seem to be so mixed anymore…and I was scared. It was unnatural! Wrong! I mean, God gave me a car to place in women's car parks, not to shove in the uncharted entrance to la-la land! But still…that amusement park was looking better and better…I really wanted to scream.

"Well?" Heero asked and I had to drag myself away from my mind for the second time in ten minutes.

I stuttered, "W…well what?" Yes, I am aware of my steadily increasing levels of patheticism. Yes, I am also aware that patheticism isn't a word. I turned to look at Heero when I got no response, an amused smile played across his lips. Shit.

Now, there is one thing you should know about my best friend, for all how hot he is he has the emotion capacity of a fly. Twitches when he's hungry, buzzes when he's pissed off and growls when he dies. Yes, he has experienced all three before you ask. So, whenever that smile appears everybody knows either: a) they're fucked, b) somebody is dead or c) he is planning something. Now, I know it makes me sound just as bad, but…I prayed for it to be "B".

I jumped as I felt an arm brush my shoulders; half afraid of what he was going to do yet half afraid of what he wasn't and I think it's the second one that scared me more. I felt my muscles tense at the touch, so did he. With a smirk he leaned around me and clicked something on the mouse before removing his arms and placing it back on the desk. Now, if only my heart would stop deafening me with its thumping maybe I could concentrate…

"Something wrong?" a deep, accented voice purred in my ear. I gulped. Damn him! I could feel his hot breath tickling my neck and an unwilling shiver spread through me.

"N…no" My voice was barely a whisper as I replied, I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks…and to other areas, "Everything's fine!" he didn't look all that convinced.

Heero edged closer, "You sure"? Summoning up some sort of a response, I opened my mouth to voice it when a hand gently brushed my upper thigh; instead I gasped.

"Heero!" I hissed, "What are you doing?!" For all I would have loved my voice to come out as confident; angry, for the life of me I couldn't seem to muster anything above a stammering whisper. I think he picked up on it, because the next thing I knew my arms were pinned above my head and my back pressed against hard cement, "Heero?!" I tried again. He grinned.

"Don't fight me Duo, it will only make it harder"

His words cut me to the bone; he wouldn't do that to me, would he? Without my permission? My heart began to race, and for a minute, I thought my pulse was going to break through my flesh, "W...what are you going to do to me?" I couldn't help but to ask. I could have struggled if I`d wanted, could have attempted to get free but the bad thing was…I didn't want to. I wanted to be here…

His grin turned devilish, "Only what we both want" before I had time to protest I felt soft lips touch my own and I immediately fell into the kiss; whether willingly or not. His mouth seemed to fit together with mine like a jigsaw, two pieces that were meant to go side by side. A light moan escaped me as his hot, moist tongue trailed over the opening to my mouth and I surrendered myself to the feeling.

What the hell was happening to me?! I wasn't meant to feel like this, surely! It was…it was…wrong! It was just…just…my mind seemed to cut off all thoughts at that point, the only thing it seemed able to concentrate on was the feel of Heero's tongue expertly coiling around my own; tugging, twisting, manipulating…I suddenly jumped back, hands pushing hard against his chest when I felt a hand slip down and gently cup my arousal.

Heero looked at me, perplexed, both of us were breathing heavy, "No…" I murmured, "Heero…n-" I was stopped short as he claimed my lips once again, a low growls shuddering through the base of my throat as I pushed against him again, harder, "I said no!"

A slow manic grin painted foreign lips, "You know you want it" he whispered seductively, running a hand down my chest.

"Heero…" I warned, only to be pinned to the hard, cold cement once again. I`d had enough. As much as I wanted this, I also didn't.

Not like this…

"Heero!" I yelled as he tried to kiss me again, managing to pull a hand free I rapidly curled it into a fist and slammed it straight into his jaw, sending him reeling. I felt guilty right away; a sense of regret washing over me like an old grey blanket of lost innocence. The line had finally been crossed; scratch that. The line had been twisted, bent, cut, tripped over and moved about one hundred miles away in the other direction.

Why couldn't anything ever be simple?

A sigh tore through the room and that sense of guilt I had been harbouring increased by about 2o lbs. I turned to look at Heero, biting down hard on my lip as I saw the blood trickling down his face, eyes not angry or pissed off. Hell, not even a little mad from what I could see…something was definitely up.

"H…Heero?" I whispered softly, "I…I'm sorry" I don't even know why I was apologising, I mean, he had been the one to try and force it not me yet….it just felt right. I don't really know why, maybe I could just tell that there was something more under that faceless expression than he liked to give.

Or maybe I had just been watching too many of those damned psyche-dramas…

Dark eyes flickered and I felt something respond in my own body, never had I ever seen my boss look so…so…vulnerable. Technically, I should never have been able to get near enough to hit him, and if by chance I did, I know for a fact he could have easily blocked. So…why did he let me hit him?!

"I deserved that" my heart jittered at that comment, whatever I had been expecting it was not that, I looked at him incredulously and he smiled sombrely; stepping away, "I'm sorry Duo, I just got sick of waiting for you to decide what you wanted"

"You know what I want Heero!" I hissed, "I want you to just leave me alone and stop with these stupid, pathetic little games of yours!" I don't know where it came from, I really don't. I hadn't planned on saying anything as brutal, or even as truthful to my opinion…then again, I hadn't planned on coming into my best friend`s room at 3 in the morning and get pinned to a wall and kissed so hard I though I would melt. It reminded me of that song…what was it again? Your love is better than ice cream something something I've ever tried… like it matters anyway.

His face turned completely emotionless, prussian eyes covered over with a thin film of resistance as he answered simply, "If that's what you want" he paused and I felt my heart stammer slightly at the loss of his voice, "Just answer me one thing…"

I quirked an eyebrow as to say `sure`.

He met my gaze; "Do you love me? Could you ever love me?"

The question whirled around in my head, twisting and turning from one correspondence to another, sliding into one slot only to be pushed into another. My brain wound it's way around the question and my heart thundered at the one answer thumping through me; yet I was determined to go with the answer my mind supplied instead.

I took a deep breath, "No"

I felt my heart snap in two at the emotionless, blank look he responded with; not so much as a flickering hint towards how it effected him in those impregnable ocean eyes. He stood there, regal and dignified like a knight in black leather as he nodded curtly, "Then I shall leave you alone" he stated in his usual cold tone, "I hope one day you truly find happiness, Duo," he sighed, "And somebody who you can love back…"

He didn't need say anymore, I could tell the words he wanted to express through his silent features and fiery presence. I smiled softly at him and he smiled back as he turned to leave, walking through the doorway I caught a last whisper of, "I'm sorry…"

I felt tears prick the back of my eyes, unhindered. I swallowed hard as my heart tore itself up from the inside, shattering into black ashes upon what I knew I would never be able to tell him, to admit, "I'm sorry too…"

That was the last time I ever saw him; he left the next morning before I had even risen from slumber. But, I guess that's how he wanted it, me not finding out the hard way.

Me not there.

He thought if I were there he wouldn't be able to leave, to just turn his back and walk out of my life. No worry Heero, I had wanted to say, I never had a life for you to walk out of. I was always dead…always.

It's been six months now. Six long months since the last time I saw him yet it still hurts as much as it did that day. When I awoke to find a single black rose on my pillow, tears brewing to my eyes, I already knew what it meant. I treasured the flower, walking towards the window as I watched the night enfold outside. I smiled, "For you, Heero, I will be happy. Only for you…"

I still have the rose. It is locked away in the box where I keep all of my memories; every reminder I have that seems to show me I do have a meaning. A reason, you know, for the times I may forget what it is…but the flower is all that remains within it now, alongside a small colour photograph of Heero and myself one time in Los Angeles…the city of lost angels. Seems fitting doesn't it? Because you see, the one and only thing that did me meaning was the one thing I let go of…the one thing I can never get back and it hurts. It hurts so much; you want to know why? Why it is so painful?

Because when I said I didn't love him…

I lied.