Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Life Happened ❯ Discoveries ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I am not making money. I am totally penniless, so please don't sue me.

Life Happened 6/??

Author: shinigami2174

Archive: mediaminer.org and fanfiction.net under shinigami2174

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Relena's POV, yaoi, yuri, het, language

Pairings: Past R+1, 3x4x3, 1+2+1, 4x5x4, future 1x2x1

Timeline: After Endless Waltz

Spoilers: None.

Genre: Romance.

Feedback: Yes please! shinigami2174@Argentina.com

Thanks to CYT for beta reading.

Life Happened

Chapter 6: Discoveries.

I used to think I knew about over-protectiveness, that there could be nothing worse than a paranoid Gundam pilot in charge of my security. Guess what? There's something worse; three paranoid Gundam pilots in charge of my security.

Oh Lord! My situation was unbearable. Heero was to the point of distrusting my shadow. Duo was a lot of fun before he knew I was in real danger. After that, well… I don't even want to talk about it.

And there was Trowa.

Yes, apparently the people that were threatening my life really meant business. I mean, Heero Yuy called for another Gundam pilot to protect me. I must confess I was a little scared.

It seemed that this one was the first really dangerous mission for Trowa since he had got back to work as a full time Preventer. I figured this was really a hard time for him. After all, he had just broken up with Quatre, and suddenly he was on his own in every aspect.

He was very professional around me. We'd never been very close. He was more an acquaintance than a friend, but as long as I did as I was told, there wasn't any problem between the two of us. But there wasn't any kind of personal communication either.

The whole situation was driving me nuts. I've been always aware that my life's far from normal, that I have to face dangers that most people don't even think about. But this new situation, really got to me. I was worried, bored, desperate and tremendously depressed.

I was lonely before all of this happened, I just figured that I'd be alone forever. That really made me sad. I started to question myself if everything was worthy at all.

This persistent state of depression was taking a toll on me. Suddenly, I started to have problems sleeping. Okay, that was a little bit of an understatement; I became a freaking insomniac.

I'd toss and turn every night without being able to fall asleep. It was really frustrating. I was just sort of slipping away, and the most frightening thing was that I found myself helpless and incapable of putting my shit together, as Duo would say.

In those damned interminable nights, I'd get up and walk around the gardens of the house, wandering freely, trying to avoid thinking about the state of my life. Very often, I would sit by the pool and stare at the sky.

One of those nights, I realized I wasn't alone. Suddenly, without me noticing how he got there, Trowa was by my side. He startled me, and I couldn't repress a gasp and a not so proper exclamation.

"Shit!"

He had the decency to look surprised for a fraction of a second. After that, I could swear I saw some amusement reflected on his face. Then I realized I had cursed out loud. I, trying to behave like a lady, wanted to apologize.

"Crap! I said that out loud. I'm sorry."

Here I was, doing my best in making a perfect fool of myself.

"Okay, it seems I'm not at my brightest tonight. I'm sorry."

"I never thought you'd use such… colorful language, Miss Relena." He said.

"Just in my thoughts. I use it when I talk to myself."

Oh great! First I was a fool, now I'm nuts.

"Oh really?"

"Well, yes," I admitted sheepishly.

"Is it a side-effect of Duo's presence?"

"Oh no! This has been going on since I was a child."

Oh God! What couldn't I shut my big mouth?

"I wouldn't have imagined it. I mean, you grew up in a… more refined environment. Or so I've been told. I just can't imagine `someone' talking like that around you."

"Well, you're right. Nobody talked like that around me. I discovered this `colorful' language, as you kindly put it, by mere accident."

I was already starting to remember that day.

"I was seven or eight years old, and as you correctly assumed, I'd never heard someone talking like that. Anyway, I was playing hide and seek alone in the garden of the house when I came across one of the gardeners cutting some fresh roses for my mother, Mrs. Darlian."

I was already lost in my memory and he seemed genuinely interested, so I continued.

"He was muttering something about stupid flowers when he hurt himself with some thorns. The unstoppable flow of curses that followed astonished me. I've never heard something like that. I could infer that those were words related to unpleasant circumstances, but at the same time, I was scared."

"What did you do then?"

"I ran back to the house, felling guilty without knowing why. Then it happened again, and curiosity got the best of me. I tried to look for those words using internet. It didn't work because obviously I didn't know how to spell them and because my father had very effective computer programs installed to monitor what I looked for on the Internet. After that, I decided for a more traditional approach. I used a dictionary and found their general meaning and some examples of their use."

"It seems to me that you were a persistent little girl."

"Well, I was stubborn and curious. That was all it took. Of course I told nobody about my `discovery'. I knew that if I wasn't supposed to hear those words, their use in my vocabulary was totally out of the question. However, when things got frustrating or stressful, I used them in my mind. It was almost… therapeutic."

"I can imagine it," he said.

"As time went by," I went on, "I paid more attention to people around me and heard more words and new uses for the old ones. I acquired a better knowledge of them and used them more frequently in my inner talks."

"So, you never used them as part of your vocabulary?" he asked. It seems that curiosity also gets the best of him.

"No… well, yes. The first time I said something loud was when I fired Heero. After that, well… around Duo. I just keep losing control of my big mouth. Just the three of you have heard something like that from me."

"Well, I suppose it makes us special in some way."

I blushed. I couldn't believe it. I can be truly pathetic sometimes.

"I suppose, in a bizarre way."

"I'm honored." He mocked playfully.

"Um… my pleasure?" I said, and started laughing.

I actually felt a lot more relaxed and suddenly I was tired and ready to go to sleep, so I decided to call it a night.

"I think I'm going to bed. It was nice talking to you," I said while I started to get up.

"Same here," he responded while walking away.

I don't know why, but that night I was finally able to get some rest. The next day wasn't so awful, but I was still depressed. The following days were the same, I was incredible tired and kept having trouble sleeping. Trying to relax a little bit, I continued my nocturnal wanderings.

Two weeks after our first encounter, I met Trowa again. This time I found him sitting by the pool, watching the stars. I approached him silently, but I'm sure he noticed my presence immediately.

"Can't sleep?" I asked him.

"No," he answered, "beautiful night, isn't it?"

"Yeah, beautiful."

"Seems you can't sleep either."

"Well, I've been having trouble sleeping lately," I confessed.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked, looking directly to me.

"Just the usual," I answered nonchalantly, "someone wants me dead, peace needs to be kept, there's a lot of reconstructive work needed around earth and the colonies, nothing out of the ordinary."

Oh my God! When did I become so bitter?

"Sometimes it's just too much, right?" He asked, knowingly.

"Yes, sometimes I'm afraid it's just not worth it."

What the hell is wrong with me? Is he using truth serum on me or something?

"You know, Relena, I can call you Relena, can't I?"

"Of course you can, Trowa."

He smiled shyly, and continued.

"You and Quatre are very much alike in many ways."

"Really? How so?" I was curious.

"Both of you have an incredible amount of responsibility on your shoulders at such a young age. There are so many expectations around you two. People want you to be so mature, and … I don't know. It's like they don't realize you're very young."

"Well, we aren't as young as we were during the wars," I said, feeling I was talking about ancient times.

"That's true, we were all so young," He stated with some melancholy in his voice.

"Sometimes, it seems like centuries ago."

Why did I have to sound so sad? Well, maybe because that was exactly how I felt.

I didn't like the course of the conversation, so I tried to change the topic.

"Can I ask you something very personal, Trowa?"

He looked at me for a moment, as if he was seriously considering if I was to be trusted, and then said,

"Sure, ask me whatever you want to know."

"Why… why did you and Quatre break up?"

He was very silent for a moment, and I was afraid I had committed the sin of indiscretion.

"I didn't mean to pry." I tried to apologize.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. It's just… well you see, my birthday's coming and I wanted to invite both of you to my party and… I wanted to know if you're on good terms with him."

Did I tell you I make a pretty good babbling fool?

"Don't worry," he finally said, "it's okay. We broke up because… we fell out of love."

"You fell out of love? Just like that?"

Good grief! You've never learned to just shut up, Relena!

"Well, it's enough. You see, it's simple, but at the same time it's very complicated. When Quatre and I got together during the war, I believed we complemented each other perfectly. We shared so much, had so much in common. I just thought we were going to go on forever."

"I thought the same," I said.

"You did?" He seemed puzzled.

"Yeah, I always took your relationship for granted. It was part of the future I imagined back then."

"So, you also had a well laid plan for the future?"

"You too? I can't believe it!"

"Yes, well it wasn't exactly a plan. It was more a wish, an illusion."

"In my case, it was more a delusion," I said, laughing.

"Heero?" He asked.

"Yes, he was the central piece of my future. But he wasn't the only wrong idea I had."

"Are you still in love with him?"

Crap! That was totally unexpected, but then again I never kept a low profile chasing him.

"No," I answered him, "one day I realized I'd never been in love with him. It was just a juvenile infatuation."

"How did you discover it?"

"One day I noticed he wasn't happy working for me. I also noticed it didn't hurt as hard as I'd expect. I just realized he wasn't the one."

He was very quiet for some moments. After a while, he said:

"Something similar happened to me. Quatre and I drifted apart after the war ended. He was so busy taking charge of WEI, he used to work sixteen hours a day. When we were together he was just exhausted, of course he wouldn't want to talk about his hellish day, and I wouldn't talk about my day at work either. It seemed we never had anything to talk about anymore."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Me too. You know the saddest thing about it? After sometime, I realized something wasn't right. Around that time Quatre invited Wufei to work with me in WEI's security. When I noticed they were physically attracted to each other, I was… relieved. I hadn't realized I wanted to get out of our relationship so badly. I just didn't love him anymore, and I'm sure he didn't love me either, at least not as a partner."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"We had a long talk. We reached the same conclusion; we just fell out of love. We're still friends. I'll always love him. He's a part of my heart. I'm just not in love with him anymore."

At that point, I was sobbing. It was so sweet and sad at the same time.

"Don't cry, Relena. I'm okay, we're okay. These things just… happen."

"I know. It's just… sometimes I think I'll never know what it's like to be in love with someone."

"I'm sure you'll find `the one' as you call that person. You'll see."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burden you with my problems. I've got to go now."

"Good night, Relena."

"Good night, Trowa."

The next day I had to attend the meeting from hell. It lasted eight hours and I was bored out of my mind. It was Duo's turn to guard me so he was on the edge of insanity. When we finally got out of there, Duo seemed more than relieved.

"Jesus, I thought it was never going to end."

"Oh D!. Sometimes I'm really sorry you have to suffer through these things."

"No problem, Len. By the way, we need to talk."

"About?" I asked.

"Don't be anxious, we'll talk when we get home."

I was so tired I almost fell asleep in the car. However, as soon as we got home, curiosity did it again; I had to know what was it Duo wanted to talk about. A nanosecond after we crossed the door, I took Duo's hand and towed him towards my bedroom to talk privately.

"Easy, Lena," he protested.

"Tell me, tell me!" I urged him. "What is it you want to talk about?"

"Len, do you remember our conversation the night we went out?"

"Sure, what exactly are you talking about?"

"About Hilde," he told me very seriously.

"Of course I remember. What about it?"

"Were you serious about the whole date thing?"

"Yes, I was. What about it?"

"I talked to her."

Now I was nervous. I'd been very serious that night about going out with her, but it's one thing to say it, and another to actually do it.

"And?" I asked, nervously.

"Are you free the day after tomorrow?"

"What?! Are you insane? It's too soon. I don't have anything to wear. I need to check my agenda. I need…"

I started to hyperventilate at that point. Oh my God! I was so nervous and excited, and frightened and giddy all at the same time.

"Cool down girl! I have everything under control. I cleared your agenda with a little help from your secretary, of course. I have your wardrobe ready, and before you start panicking again, it's nothing like the outfit you used last time we went out."

Well, that was a huge relief. But then a problem came to my mind how was I going to escape from Heero's iron watch?

"Thanks, D. Just another question."

"Shoot."

"How am I going to escape from Heero? He'll go berserk as soon as he hears a word about me going out in a date."

"Who said something about Heero knowing about it?"

"Then, how the hell am I going to go out?"

"Well, we're going to tell him you have an emergency meeting. Your secretary's going to cover for us. Besides, you'll be with me the whole time and…"

That really freaked me out. Was D going to be with us in our date?! I didn't think so. I had to stop this madness right then.

"Whoa! Hold it here, D." I interrupted him. "You're definitely not going to be there. No sir."

"What? Why?" he asked, really surprised.

"Well, for instance suppose for a moment I get lucky," I said to him, grinning mischievously, "I'd be a little… weird for you to be there with the two of us, don't you think?"

He actually turned an interesting shade of red. He hadn't thought about it!

"I… I suppose you're right." He said, hesitantly.

"Well duh! Of course I'm right. We need some privacy, don't you think?"

"Okay, I concede that."

"What are we going to do, D?"

"I'm thinking here! Give me a minute."

Then I had an idea. I really wanted to go out on that date with Hilde, so desperate times call for desperate measures.

"I have an idea, D."

"Good, because I don't. Spill it"

"We're going to use the wig and the contact lenses. I'm going to go in disguise."

"Okay, it'll help," he admitted, "but… you're not going alone."

"But…" I started to protest.

"No buts. I'm not going with you. Trowa is," he said.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Nope. You're going. I really don't wanna be there in case you get lucky, you're definitely not going alone so…"

"He'll tell Heero."

"He won't if we ask him not to do it."

"Are you sure?" I was having serious doubts.

"Oh yes, I am."

And to Trowa we went. I really didn't know how to ask him to be our accomplice in this date thing. I was counting on Duo asking him as a friend. We went to his room. He seemed to be relaxing a little bit since he was wearing only sweat pants and was barefoot. I could see his incredible six- pack, his muscled arms and -by the way- he also has a great ass.

I just hope he didn't realize I was ogling him. Then Duo decided to bring me back to reality saying:

"Hi, Tro. You busy?"

"Not really." Without saying anything else, he let us in.

"We need to ask you a favor," I said after an awkward silence.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, you see," Duo finally said, "Lena here's going out on a date."

"And?" Trowa asked, arching one eyebrow, as if he suspected something else was going on.

"I want you to be my bodyguard for the occasion," I interrupted.

"Why me? I mean, I assume you might be more comfortable with Duo in a situation like this."

"That's the point, Tro," Duo answered, "she wouldn't be comfortable at all with me this time."

"Why is that?" Trowa asked.

"Because she's going out with… well… Hilde." Duo stated.

For a short moment, Trowa looked actually surprised. He changed his expression to a blank one almost immediately.

"Oh, I understand that, but why not Heero?" he insisted.

"That's exactly the point Tro, Heero doesn't need to know. You know he'd make a big fuss and refuse to allow it." Duo said.

"Please?" I intervened, "it's kind of important to me."

I admit it. I used my puppy eyes. The ones I used to use on my parents when I was a child. Those never fail.

"You understand we'll be in deep shit if Heero finds out, don't you?"

"Thanks, Trowa. You're the best!" I said enthusiastically, hugging him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. I'm childish sometimes. Sue me.

"I knew we could count on you," Duo said, grinning. "Now we just need a plan."

"What do you have in mind?" Trowa asked him.

"Well, they're going to meet in a public place. It's a restaurant. Lena will use a disguise, the wig and the colored contacts. I think we're ok."

"We'll need a car," Trowa said, "one that no one will relate to her or us."

"A Preventers car?" Duo asked.

"No. Somebody could see it and investigate. We don't want anybody to learn about it and report it to Heero."

Then I remembered something I hadn't thought about in many years.

"I think that I can help you with that," I said, and both of them turned their heads towards me.

"What do you mean?" Duo asked.

"I have a car at this house. No one knows about it."

"We have registration on all your cars, Lena." Duo said.

"No, you don't. You don't have a registration for this car. Please, follow me." I asked, and they did. We went towards an old building that once served as stables and were transformed into a garage many years ago by my Dad.

Of courses, the Preventers knew about the building and its contents, but since they were old cars that had been my father's, they didn't bother to register them because I asked them not to.

We arrived at the garage and there were several cars, parked and covered. I led them directly to the one that was farthest from the door, and uncovered it.

The first thing I saw in their eyes was surprise. The second thing was a frown of distaste. Before them was an old gift my father had given me some months before his assassination. I wanted to learn how to drive and he taught me personally. When I finally learned, he decided to give me a present, a car.

"What is it?" Duo asked.

"It's a car and it's mine." I answered.

"But… it's… pink!" Duo protested.

"I know. Remember I used to like pink. When my father gave it to me, pink was my favorite color."

"But… it's a Porsche 911 convertible. It just can't be pink, Relena."

"Well, it is."

"Let me tell you something, missy. That's a sin, a blasphemy. You can't have a Porsche painted pink."

"Well I did." I was getting tired of this conversation.

"Who did you think you were? Barbie?" Duo went on, while Trowa observed, clearly amused.

"Hell no! Barbie isn't a real princess. I was."

That was it. Both of them burst into laugher. Well I did it too.

"Okay, I get it." Duo finally said after laughing his ass out. "Before we can use it, we need to paint it. Is that ok?"

I thought about it for a minute. Part of me wanted to keep it the way it was, because that's how my dad gave it to me. Another part of me wanted desperately to change its color. Objectively speaking, the car looked hideous.

"Let's do it." I finally answered.

"What color do you prefer?" Duo asked me.

"Black," I answered without even thinking, "let's paint it black."

"Black?" Duo questioned, "You never struck me as someone who likes black."

"I know. People change," was all I said.

I gave Duo the keys. He immediately hopped in and turned on the engine. I was a little afraid it wouldn't work, but it did. Duo was elated, he loves all kind of machines and the sound of the engine really got him excited.

They decided to paint the car themselves. I wanted to help, but they didn't let me. I was just watching them work with the efficiency of a well trained team. Later that day, my Porsche was ready to roll.

The day of my date with Hilde finally arrived. I was nervous as hell. Fortunately, Duo kept his word and got me a casual outfit that made me look good. It was simple and, as Duo would say, I looked my age.

When I was ready, using that black-haired wig and those hazel-colored contacts, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled, satisfied. Trowa was waiting for me. He also opted for casual clothes, a pair of jeans and a turtle neck shirt.

He drove in silence. I was so nervous I wasn't really up to a conversation. We arrived at the place; it was a cozy café, with an intimate atmosphere. Hilde was already there. I saw her and turned my head to see Trowa. Without words, he indicated to me he'd be near and signaled me to go ahead and meet Hilde.

Duo had told Hilde about my disguise, so he recognized me without any effort. I arrived at the table and she greeted me warmly:

"Hello, Relena. Please, sit down."

"Hi, Hilde," I said while I sat down.

Almost immediately, a waiter came to take our order.

"I want a cup of coffee," she ordered.

"The same thing," I said to the guy.

"Well…" she said, trying to break the ice.

"Well…" was all I could come up with. Yeah. Real eloquent.

"You look really good as a brunette." She said.

"Thanks. You look good too."

This wasn't going well. I mean, I was pathetic.

"Duo told me you know about the crush I used to have on you," she finally said.

"Used to?" I asked, "As in not anymore."

"It's been a long time."

"I understand." I finally told her.

"No, you don't. You're still so beautiful, Relena. I'm still attracted to you. But I can see you don't like girls that way."

"How do you know it?"

I was really curious about it, since I couldn't tell if I was interested in women in a sexual way. Believe it or not, I just hadn't questioned myself about it. I'd been so busy the last years that I just assumed I liked just men since I'd been attracted to Heero in the past.

"I just know it." She said quizzically.

"When Duo told me you had some feelings for me," I said, "I really wanted to give it a shot."

"Then it's just that you're feeling alone, Relena. I can see you're not attracted to girls. You're just clinging to someone or something that has shown some kind of interest in you. I didn't realize you were that lonely."

I was ashamed and surprised. She'd been able to read me pretty well and quite easily. Was I that obvious? I was ashamed of my weakness. I was ready to actually use someone to avoid feeling lonely. That's really low.

"You seem to know me even better than I know myself." I told her, looking into her eyes. "Why?"

"Because," she said, "I use to observe you carefully. I was almost obsessed with you."

"But you weren't close to me. We just talked a few times after the war."

"I know. But you're forgetting something, Relena. For the past few years, your public life's been your whole life. You haven't had time to live outside your job. I just followed your work, the interviews you gave, everything."

"Still, it's not enough." I was reluctant to believe she could know me, really know me without at least being my friend.

"I know," she admitted, "maybe it's just that I feel the same sometimes."

"Do you feel lonely and desperate? Do you also think you'll never find love?"

"Yes," she confessed.

"Then we really have much in common. Can we be friends?" I offered.

"I'd like it very much," she said, smiling to me taking my hand between hers. That was the exact moment Heero picked to enter the café. He saw the two of us holding hands and smiling and went berserk. Who would've thought that Heero had installed a transmitter in my watch to monitor my position?

He stopped at the table, grabbed my wrist, and without saying a word, he dragged me out of the place. Everything happened so fast I couldn't say a word until we got home. Heero looked royally pissed off. He looked like he wanted to kill me.

Trowa and we arrived almost at the same time. We were finally at home, and luckily Duo wasn't here. Finally, Heero spoke.

"What were you doing there?"

"I wasn't alone." I said, trying to avoid his question.

"I know that," he said coldly, "I'm asking what you were doing there."

"I was with her," Trowa tried to intervene.

"Stay out of this, Barton." He told Trowa with an icy voice.

"Answer me, Relena."

"I went out with Hilde." I finally answered.

He looked, if possible, even angrier. If I hadn't known he loved Duo, I'd say he was jealous.

"Why?" He finally asked.

"I think that's none of your business."

"It's my business when you're hurting my friends."

Okay, now I was utterly confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"What is this game you're playing, Relena?"

"Heero, please explain to me what the fuck you're talking about."

"First, you ask for Duo to be transferred as your personal bodyguard. Then everybody at Preventers HQ is gossiping about your relationship with him. After that, you go out with him and kiss him. And finally, you go out with his ex-girlfriend."

I must confess, I was speechless. He went on.

"Duo really likes you." He said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"And I like him too, just not…"

He didn't let me finish the sentence.

"Then why are you… betraying him?"

"What?!"

"I won't allow you to break his heart, Relena. He likes you and… I want him to be happy. So be warned. I won't let you hurt him. Ever."

Without another word, he stormed out of the room. Trowa and I just looked at each other totally dumbfounded.

Then it hit me. All this time trying to find a way to get them together without success, and suddenly I realized I just had found a way.

After all that, Heero Yuy was jealous… of me. I would've laughed if the situation wasn't so bizarre.

tbc