Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Long Time To Cry ❯ Thirty-Six Months ( Chapter 1 )

AN: For bandit-gurl42 ^.^ This is a short chappie, but just cos I have no time right now… they will get longer in the future! Really! But I wrote it just for you ^_^ Because reviews make me feel speshul, and so… since you asked for more, I gave :D and…. Hmmm… this is a songfic. I didn't just put it under that category by mistake; this is based on a song by Adema. If there are stars around text, it means it's lyrics from the song. That said… well, standard disclaimers apply, and please read. ^_^

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"…Beg pardon?" Duo was glad he hadn't started the car yet - he didn't want to think what sort of accident Heero would have caused him by saying that while he was driving.

"You're going to hate me forever."

Duo stared. What on earth was Heero trying to say? He didn't hate him… this was just getting weirder and weirder.

"Heero," He said slowly, "I'm not sure what made you think that I hate you… but I don't. You know that, right?" Tentatively, he placed a hand on Heero's arm.

He said nothing when Heero flinched away. Instead he watched him, curious. There was something different about Heero, now, he decided… Heero seemed… thin. Not his body, but the way he moved was like a lanky, awkward teen, and not like the polished soldier at all. His eyes darted about in an almost paranoid manner that Duo would never have associated with his ex-comrade… The cobalt depths were hooded, somehow, as if they were trying to hide something from view: a secret guilt that mustn't be revealed.

"Why," Duo tried again, "On earth would I hate you? Even if we're nothing more than friends… friends isn't…" He stopped, trailing off. Even his grin had faded completely… He was stuck. He didn't know what to say or do; Heero wasn't like this. He had been prepared for anything that Heero could throw at him - punches, kisses, anything… But that had been the OLD Heero. The Heero he knew. Somehow, a sinking feeling told him, this Heero was different.

This Heero had the power to hurt him so much more.

"I've…. I've decided to marry Releena." Heero said at last.

Duo tried to remember how to breathe. In, out, in out… no no no nonononno…

"And… you can't come to the wedding…"

In… out… out… Duo stopped breathing completely, shock consuming his system. He tried to choke out a `why not?' but couldn't; you need air to speak.

"And…" Heero continued, unable to look at Duo, "I'm not supposed to see you again. She says you're a bad influence on me… She doesn't want you around to remind me of my old life. I'm so much… better now. I can't go back to who I was."

Duo wanted to die.

**Today you told me that I'd hate you forever**

Despite this, he forced himself to inhale… or rather, his body took over and demanded it. Breathe in, breathe out… Kami, this wasn't happening. Any minute now, Heero would laugh, and it would turn out that he had… he was just trying to be funny, or something… no, Heero wasn't funny. Heero…

Duo's mind stalled.

**I can't believe what's really going on**

Unconsciously, he reached for Heero's arm again.

"You're kidding, right…?" His voice sounded oddly hoarse to his own ears, and he knew Heero heard it, and was ashamed. Heero didn't like crying, and that's just what his body was threatening to do….

Heero pulled his arm out of reach, biting his lip and looking at Duo with eyes that seemed to be trying to apologize. Since Heero could not. Heero didn't apologize. Especially not when he was following orders…

**Somehow I knew that you felt guilty for something**

"No. I'm not. We have," Heero looked at his watch, "Approximately half an hour. Then I have to get back on the plane and return to Her." You could just hear the way it was `Her', and not just `her'. She was his goddess, his ruler, and his master now. Duo fought the urge to be sick. It was difficult, seeing as he was fighting tears at the same time.

"Ha… half an hour." Duo repeated dumbly… half an hour with someone who wouldn't speak to him or touch him. Half an hour to try and say goodbye to someone who he wouldn't see again, so long as She lived and controlled him…

**But tell me why you do this to me**

Duo wished life was more like… the movies. The cheap ones that you could watch on L2 if you snuck in, that were about love and romance and sappy goodbyes - no - `adieu's. In those movies, as the people dozed off and chucked stale popcorn at the screen, the boy would give the girl something to remember him by. Something sweet… a ring, or a photograph, or a glass rose, or a puppy… anything.

Duo almost found the strength to grin at that… He couldn't picture Heero giving him anything but heartache. Heero was wonderful, but not the romantic interest in the movies of L2. He didn't have that sort of sweetness to soften all the hurt he brought.

**Today you told me that I'd hate you forever…**

"She said you were… you were supposed to give up on me." Heero's eyes became once again alien to Duo… they were flashing with emotions he didn't recognize. Desperation? Misery…? "Please, Duo… I want you to try. If you forget, you can be happy. Run the salvage business. Fix people's things." Heero was being oddly sentimental. Duo wasn't used to waiting for him to get to the point…

He didn't expect Heero to reach over for his wallet. Heero wasn't the type to just take your money with no expla… well, ok. He had taken a few things from Duo during the war, but not right out from under his NOSE.

Duo waited for an explanation.

In a moment, he didn't need one. Heero was riffling through the wallet, and found the photo of himself. He pulled it out, and tore it up.

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! IT'S MINE!" Duo realized he was being strange - he wasn't that attached to photos. He didn't have any of himself whatsoever… but if the photo was all he had to remember Heero PROPERLY by, he refused to let it be taken from him.

Of course, it didn't matter what he said now. The tiny, tiny pieces of ripped photo fluttered to rest on the leather seats of his Mustang. For the hundredth time that day, he found himself staring in disbelief.

"Why did you…?"

Heero didn't answer, and the obvious answer came to Duo: he did so because She told him to do so. DAMN HER! Duo wasn't the violent one, but he was tempted to strangle her. Or torture her slowly… Any of the painful deaths he could think of.

Heero was slipping something else in the wallet… a picture. It was of him… but with Releena. Releena was clinging to his arm and smiling. Duo repressed the hysterical laugh that came to his throat when he saw Heero's irritated expression in the picture… but who wouldn't look irritated with that harpy on their arm?…

Duo snatched the wallet back, and Heero let him. His work was done.

Duo glared at the photograph. He didn't want anything with HER in it… but now it was the only picture he had of Heero. Deciding to remedy his problem, he took a red pen off of the dashboard, and proceeded to scribble furiously over her. There.

"I hate you," He told the girl in the photograph… and Kami, how he did….

**I can't believe that you'd wreck my life!**