Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Love Among the Ruins ❯ The Lover's Moon ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.

Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^

Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^

Genres: Sci-fi, drama, horror, some fluff, and other delightful things.

Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC.

AN: The brackets indicates opera libretto. At the end of each chapter I'll list the name of the aria the lyrics originated from, name of opera, and composer.

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins

Act 1: The Lover's Moon

By Sailor Celaeno

[I would say: I've fought for you, I've won for you!]

That night nearly a year ago was completely quiet which didn't seem that appropriate when Hilde thought about it. "It was the calmest night I've ever seen Duo. It doesn't feel right even now."

Hilde was sitting at the office of Dr. Lee Carlyle, the therapist on staff at Preventer HQ. She was rather anxious. "So Hilde, what would you like to talk about today?"

"I don't know doc. I honestly don't know." Hilde was lying back on the chair; the doctor had to make the patients comfortable.

"Now Hilde. I know the date today. We have to talk about…"

"Why?" She shouted suddenly. "Why do we have to talk about…" She covered her mouth as tears began running down her cheeks.

Dr. Carlyle looked at her sympathetically. "I've had trouble getting

appointments with you, Hilde. If Dr. Po and Colonel Une hadn't insisted that you see me, I don't think I'd ever talk you. They want you here. I want you here. You can't do this alone. You need to talk someone."

Hilde was still crying. "I… I'm not ready."

"You have to. It's not healthy to hold in your feelings, especially on the anniversary that…"

Hilde wiped away her tears. "What do you want me to say? That I miss Duo? That I wish he was here and that I wouldn't have to see you."

Carlyle reached a hand to his patient. "We have an hour. In fact two if necessary. I don't have a patient for another two hours, so you have all the time to talk."

"Just what do you want me to say?" she said after she blew her nose on

a kleenex.

Carlyle leaned back in his chair and folded his hands in a polite manner on his lap. The middle-aged doctor simply said, "Tell me about Duo. How did he pass on?"

Hilde stared at him with disbelief. "You know how he died. You knew Duo. He saw you after Felix, and Simon died…"

Carlyle nodded at her comment, but maintained his calm appearance. "I know the facts and I know Duo from the man himself. But I want to hear from you Miss Schbeiker in your own words. I want to know why this has been so very difficult. Why you haven't started moving forward?"

Hilde sighed as she leaned back. She had to bare the deepest part of her soul to this stranger. Well, he wasn't really a stranger. He was friends with Duo. He was also Duo's therapist after that raid that killed his comrades, Simon and Felix, almost 18 months ago. Duo was dead because of that mission. There was no question in anyone's mind. Hilde heaved another sigh. "I met Duo during the war…"

After ten minutes of talking, she explained how she had met and fell

in love Duo Maxwell. Now came the most difficult part: the last seven months of Duo's life.

*****

It was AC 201. It's not that Duo was old-fashioned about getting married, but he wasn't quite ready to jump into marriage. Otherwise they could have easily married three years ago. Duo just wanted to enjoy being single, even though he had a girlfriend that was practically his wife already. They were the perfect couple.

Relena loved seeing how happy Duo and Hilde were together. She wished she could be the same way with Heero. Theirs was an unusual romance. Heero never seemed to be more than business-like around her. However, he was extremely protective towards Relena. She was getting mixed messages and she hated that.

[I'll tell you what I'm going through; It's new to me and I don't understand it.]

"I don't understand Heero Yuy!" Relena shouted in frustration.

Hilde patted her friend reassuringly on the shoulder. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"It is Hilde. I love him like…" Relena became silent.

Hilde smiled. "We're in the middle of nowhere." She reminded Relena that they were on a weekend retreat alone at the beach. Relena was stressed out, and Hilde wanted to use up her leftover vacation time before it expired. "We're at edge of the world. There's no one else around. Be free from your fears Relena. Just say what you feel!"

[Mildly and gently, how he smiles]

Relena looked over at her friend. "I… love him."

Hilde smiled at Relena and nudged her. "Go on. Say it. Whatever is in your heart, let it fly free. Let the wind take it to where you want it to go." Hilde smiled and she looked up. There was a beautiful sunset slowly sinking below the horizon before the two young women. Above them, in the distance, the full moon appeared brighter. "Tell the moon about Heero."

[I am like the moon goddess, the little goddess of the moon who comes down at night from the bridge of heaven.]

Relena followed Hilde's gaze towards the moon. It was very beautiful high up in the heavens watching over the two women. "The moon?" Relena smiled as she said, "Juliet told Romeo not to swear by the moon."

Hilde laughed, "Don't tell me your romantic life is so troubled that it's doomed like that."

Relena smiled, but it slowly faded. "I don't even know anymore."

Hilde looked at her friend with worry, "But Relena, if you really love someone, you should tell them. If you don't, you'll regret it in your heart."

[Does that Moon goddess know the words that satisfy burning desire?]

"He knows."

"Hm?" Hilde asked with curiosity.

"He knows," Relena sniffed a little. "I know he knows. He can see how I feel. I don't have to say a word. Everything I do says `I love you' to him. I don't think I can't say it any other way."

"Why can't you? It's not so hard to say it."

[She does. Maybe she's unwilling to say them for fear of dying, for dying of it.]

Relena began crying and wiped her tears on her sleeveless arm. "It's

harder than you realize." Relena looked at her friend with tears streaming down her face. "You don't understand. Duo doesn't hide his feelings about you. You know just by the way he looks how he feels. But Heero… Heero is a man that's deeper than that. He hides how he truly feels. Even if he does feel the same, he won't say it. He hides his feelings because they are too deep. It would hurt him if he said it, if he allowed himself to feel any deeper. He's a soldier and he had no time to love or feel anything about anyone because there was no time to think about that in the middle of a war. He was ready to die… There's no reason for a dying man to bother loving anyone, is there?" She was crying too hard. Hilde silently waited for Relena to calm down. The crying Minister finished her thought. "I won't say something he knows I feel. If I say it, then he has to say something back. I would just… I'd rather he not tell me at all."

"Not tell you at all? You'd rather go on without him saying anything than…" Hilde sadly looked at Relena. "You'd rather die than have him say that he didn't love you." Hilde understood. It was less painful knowing that someone didn't love you, than to hear it. Those words would echo in Relena's mind for the rest of her life if he ever said them.

Relena continued sniffing, but she had a slight laughter. "I know… it's silly, really. It's even stupid and pretty unlike me to be crying over Heero." She laughed a little more even though her eyes had some tears left to cry. "But… there's something missing for me. I want someone to be there. When no one else knows who I really am, I only want to find someone who does."

"Does Heero?" Hilde asked.

Relena turned up towards the stars.

[In the sky, all along the shore. Out to shore… the sky is smiling. Oh lovely night!]

Relena replied, "I think he does. He doesn't say it, but I know he does care. In his way he cares. Which makes it hard for me to hear it. If he says he loves me, then I will be happier than I've ever dreamt of being. And if he says no… If no, then I have nothing to hope for. I'll be all alone because the one I love said he didn't feel the same." She stared at the ocean as it crawled up the beach under the moonlit sky. She seemed calmer then. "Maybe I'm being stupid Hilde. I should just say how I feel and be strong. But then… I don't know how I can be strong like him…"

Hilde walked closer to her friend. "That was the absolute… saddest, most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Oh Relena…" Hilde hugged her friend with the warmth of compassion.

*****

Doctor Carlyle nodded. "That was a lovely moment. But…"

"I know… you're wondering whether that has anything to with me or Duo." Hilde sighed deeply. She had been staring at the floor. She then looked up with a pained look on her face. "That, I assure you, is where the trouble began."

"Indeed. The real root of the problem? And that is your diagnosis?"

Hilde only replied. "Yes. Relena is in a coma because of me. I was the one that did it to her. And…" Hilde began crying. "I killed Duo. Duo is dead, and Relena…"

Carlyle checked the clock. "We still have 40 minutes. Or an hour and 40 minutes. I think a longer session, at least for today, might be better for you."

Hilde nodded. "Yeah… I guess it might."

To be continued…

Opera notes: Thank you for reading my first (and perhaps the first EVER) opera fic. As you can tell, it works the same way as a regular songfic, except the lyrics are from opera arias. Also the libretto are clearly translations since most of the opera arias are in Italian or German. There will be a couple in French, and there's even a Czech opera later on in the story.

Originally this wasn't going to be an opera fic. It was just going to be an angsty love polygon story. But listening to "The Greatest Opera Album Ever" with my sprite-muses has given me the idea that maybe using opera libretto would reflect the emotions of the characters and their situations better. So here it is! ^_^ And now for libretto credits.

1) "Celeste Aida," from "Aida" by Giuseppe Verdi.

2) "Voi Che Sapate", from The Marriage of Figaro by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

3) "Mild und Leise," from Tristan und Isolde by Wilhelm Richard Wagner

4) "Bimbi Dagli Occhi," from Madama Butterfly by Giaccomo Puccini