Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Love or Duty ❯ One-Shot

Author: Ryuen Nakashima

Pairings: 13x4, past 13x6

Archived: Not yet. None of my fics have a real home yet *sniff*

Setting: 5 years after Endless Waltz

Rating: R

Warnings: British spelling/phraseology, yaoi, angst, death

Disclaimer: Nothing GW related is mine. This story is. Nuff said.

Love or Duty

Pursing his lips in irritation, Wufei walked into the office where the ex-Sandrock pilot was currently working, tapping him harder than necessary on the shoulder.

"Winner," the Mandarin sighed in annoyance at the little blond Preventer sat at his computer. "I've got a new assignment," he continued, handing his comrade the manila folder. "On colony L4. A suspected Gundanium salvage ring."

Quatre glanced at the papers and up at Wufei. "That doesn't sound like much," he remarked confusedly. "Why are you so uptight? It's nothing we can't handle, heck, most of our missions are exactly like this."

Wufei rolled his eyes. "A suspected Gundanium salvage ring that is working as part of the reconstruction of the Romefeller forces," he said tersely. "This isn't like all those other missions; for a start it's much bigger than we expected. There are even rumours of Khushrenada's survival floating around. That'll impair Merquise's judgement for a start. Sure you can deal with this?"

Quatre winced inwardly at Wufei's hostility. "Yes, yes I am," he replied in a firm tone of voice. "Why wouldn't I be able to?" he asked, though now secretly sick with apprehension. `I was so sure he didn't know. So sure everybody didn't know… but does he? How *could* he know about me and Treize?'

The Chinese pilot shrugged. "I just know that the Winners and the Khushrenadas had or have social ties," he said flatly. "In any case, you'll have to drop them immediately if you still do. Word is that that explosion of the Tallgeese II wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I certainly wouldn't be surprised," he added in a mumble.

"Why not?" Quatre asked curiously, with that soft, compassionate edge to his voice that was the very thing Wufei loathed about this pilot. "You weren't fighting him with all your strength, were you?" he continued. "I knew you weren't. I could just feel-"

"Winner, will you just shut up about *feelings* for a second?" Wufei snapped. "I can't be bothered with it." He dropped the other file onto Quatre's desk and turned on his heel to leave.

Quatre pushed out his chair and got to his feet. "Why?" he implored of him. "Why do you hate me so much, Wufei? I've been nothing but nice to you and you treat me like dirt. Please… if I've done something that hurt you, I'm sorry and I can't have done it on purpose… I can't stand this bad blood between us."

Wufei sighed again and postponed his departure for a minute. "It has got nothing to do you with what you've done to me," he retorted. "I simply have no intention of befriending a bleeding heart like you."

The Arabian boy let a hurt frown claim his face as all the hatred poured from Wufei into his space heart. "Oh… okay… I guess, if that's how you f- if that's what you think, I can hardly make you change your mind, can I?" he asked rhetorically.

"No," Wufei barked. "No you can't." He started to leave again and was just in the doorway. "Oh, great sidestep on that last `feeling' comment, by the way," he added sarcastically, leaving and slamming the door behind him.

Quatre collapsed onto his chair and wiped a tear from his eye. `I'm not a bleeding heart,' he thought, still feeling wounded by the callous words from his fellow Preventer. `That really is all they are, just words. So why do they hurt so much? I shouldn't be this sensitive but it's not my fault that I was born this way.'

He gulped and glanced back towards the manila folder again. "Treize…" he whispered. `Wufei probably doesn't know,' Quatre reasoned. `He was probably being mean, just like he always is to me. The only way he could know is if he'd *seen* me and that's impossible… isn't it?' he asked himself uncertainly.

His gaze wandered as he remembered being with Treize at his house in Liechtenstein, the way Treize had led him out to the rose gardens in the dead of night and kissed him tenderly, caressing his body before making exquisite love to him beneath the stars. It was all too possible that someone had seen them that night and if anything could worsen the relationship he and Wufei had, it would be for the Chinese boy to find out about it.

`I knew he followed Treize around,' Quatre said to himself. `I knew countless others would want to see him dead and would follow him but I did it anyway. I was kidding myself thinking that no-one would ever find out about that. But Wufei can't have been there, I would have known. I would have been able to sense his soul from a mile away.

`Then again, how much control could I have had over myself then? In the midst of lovemaking, I couldn't have been completely aware of what was going on around me. Even Heero's presence could have gone unnoticed… but what do I do? I can't ask him about it, what if he doesn't know? Besides, I'm not about to go up to *anyone* and ask if they caught me and Treize having sex when we were supposedly mortal enemies.'

Quatre shook his head vigorously and picked up the file, flipping through the papers. "This isn't even an issue," he told himself. `They're nothing but unfounded rumours. If Treize had survived, I would know. *People* would know. I witnessed that explosion first hand, he couldn't have lived through that… nobody could…'

In a bizarre way, Treize's death was a far more useful tool to the little blond pilot than his survival was. He'd come far enough now to put the past behind him and move on; even if it did break his heart every time he thought about him. Oh sure, he'd pick up the pieces and put it back together again but then he'd only have another memory come to face him and soon he'd be stuck picking up pieces all over again.

He snapped out of his haze as his pager suddenly vibrated at his hip. Une's number - obviously asking to see them all about this latest obligation. `Somebody else that could have seen us,' Quatre mused reluctantly. `She was even staying at that house. God help me, I'm just not good at cover-ups.'

It had been the guilt from that night with Treize that had made him decide to become a Preventer in the first place. He'd hoped to bury himself in his work and help right past wrongs, possibly subduing his space heart in the process. Unfortunately, it had been to no avail so far. It was just as powerful and soul-destroying as it always was.

He opened the door to Une's office and gazed at the name plate sat on the front of her desk. `Commander Midii Une' it read. A far cry from a six years ago when Lady Une would have put the world to death at a mere word from Mister Treize.

`She loved him so much and it was never requited,' Quatre thought as he took up a seat and waited for her and the others. `That's so sad. If *she* had seen me, it would explain the occasional hostility I receive from her as well. The love she had for him was enough to split her mind in two - albeit temporarily. But that's still a *very* severe thing for feelings to do to a person.'

"Yo, Kat!" Duo quipped cheerfully, dropping down on a seat next to him. He frowned as he noticed the look on Quatre's face. "Hey… what's up? Are you alright?" he asked kindly.

Quatre nodded and tried to smile. "I'm fine, just tired," he replied. "What?" he said as Duo's own expression turned very sour.

"Do you remember the deal we made a while back?" Duo asked hypothetically. "About lying and about how I don't do it and you're crap at it so it's not a good idea for either one of us to attempt it? You're depressed and I don't like it, that really so bad?"

The little blonde went to reply only a little more honestly before Heero and Trowa entered, pursued closely by Wufei. Duo nudged him in the shoulder, "We'll talk later," he whispered with a grin. Quatre nodded absent-mindedly and promptly turned his head as his eyes locked with Wufei's.

"Ah, good morning gentlemen," said Commander Une upon her entrance to the room, followed by Zechs. `Oh good,' Quatre thought sarcastically, `another person that could have caught us. Another person… another person that was in love with Treize. Requited this time, though. He certainly had his fair share of admirers, didn't he?'

"I believe you've all read through the mission folders very thoroughly," she continued formally. "I know I can count on the Preventers elite not to cut corners. Despite your meticulous inspection of the information at hand, there are a few finer details we withheld since we wished to discuss them with you confidentially. As you know, Zechs is going to be your mission coordinator so he is going to run through these for you. I have other things to look into right now so I will leave you in his capable hands."

With that, Commander Une departed and left Zechs feeling incredibly uncomfortable. "Alright," the Peacecraft prince began hesitantly. "These `details' aren't the most ordinary mission particulars you can bring to mind. These ones involve an old friend of ours. Romefeller's head, His Excellency, Ambassador Treize Khushrenada."

Quatre felt a sickly sensation rise in his gut and gulped heavily as their leader continued. "We have received reliable evidence of his survival, so much to the point that there is absolutely no doubt about it. Those folders were simply a way of giving you the background information collected by our lesser officers. We're sending the big boys in to do the hard work."

"Cha, nothin' new there," Duo remarked mordantly. "So, just how in hell did the guy survive that? I mean, geez, that explosion woulda killed a normal person."

Zechs' expression didn't change and he simply replied. "You're comparing Treize to a normal person. That's your first mistake. The second is believing that he did it by himself. He had enough legions of followers to ensure some kind of security against events of this nature."

`He's right,' Quatre thought guiltily. `Then again, what could anyone expect? Treize oozed charisma. Just one glance in his direction made me believe in love at first sight… wait a minute… love?' he suddenly found himself thinking about his relationship with Treize on another level. `Was it really love? I always assumed it was just a fascination that went too far. Never love… No. That was just a lapse of common sense. I'm not in love with him, I wasn't in love with him. That whole concept is just idiotic.'

Quatre frowned slightly as Zechs kept talking. `I'm sure he keeps looking at me,' he thought to himself. `Great, now I'm paranoid.'

Wufei folded his arms. "Well then, it looks like some of us are going to have to drop past attitudes towards him if this mission is going to succeed without too many problems," he said in a spiteful tone.

Zechs shot a glare at him that could burn a hole through stone. "I can see that you're very obviously referring to one of two other people in this room," he replied brusquely. "You all know perfectly well that one of them is me so, for one, I didn't think you'd ever be that asinine."

`One of *two* people!?' Quatre repeated in his head. `Oh my god, he does know. I could feel a presence in that house… it was Zechs…'

Zechs paused for effect before continuing. "For another, I'd expect more from you, Chang. A Gundam pilot and seasoned Preventer being so juvenile is beyond belief," he added disdainfully. "You're the biggest hypocrite I've ever known."

"I'm not a child, Peacecraft," Wufei retorted, using his pacifist name specifically to get under Zechs' skin. "You've got no right to speak to me like that."

"And you have even *less* right to speak to *me* like that," Zechs said. He paused and his face softened, "We seem to have these little `tit for tat' exchanges whenever I'm left in charge so I can't say I'm surprised. Anyway, back to the subject at hand, I as mission coordinator have allocated different positions to you all. Since he is the most emotionally detached from the situation, Heero is second in command."

Duo rolled his eyes. "He always is. Maybe he's just *constantly* emotionally detached," he added.

"There's a new sentiment," Heero quipped, sitting back further in his seat.

"We set out from base at 0700 hours tomorrow morning," Zechs replied, pausing for a moment and then continuing. "Damn that, it still sounds stupid. We're leaving here at seven o'clock, got that?"

Duo laughed as they got up to leave, Quatre still stuck in his morass of disbelief over the situation. "Oh, Quatre, can I see you for a second?" Zechs added making Quatre's insides flip over.

The younger blonde nodded and stayed still. Zechs wandered over and closed the door behind the other Preventers. There was a moment of silence in which Quatre sat down and waited for whatever startling revelation was about to be made.

He felt Zechs walk behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. *I* don't," he said softly.

"Wha…" Quatre breathed as Zechs sat down beside him. He couldn't do anything but stare at him. `What is he saying? He knows I slept with Treize and it's so desperately inappropriate for me to even *know* about this mission… he's testing me. Testing my mettle as a Preventer. Fair enough, I just hope I don't have to do anything too extreme.'

"You can go now," Zechs said, taking his leave of Quatre's side and sitting behind his desk and promptly getting back to some paperwork.

Quatre left in a silence that unnerved him to say the very least. `This is so awkward,' he mused. `To know that Zechs… my god, he must have seen us when we were… No, this is too humiliating!' His head hung to the floor, he barely even glanced up as he walked past Wufei.

"What was that about?" Wufei asked enquiringly, leant back against the desk with his arms folded - a typical Wufei position.

The little blonde looked up into the coldness in the Mandarin's eyes, wincing with the thumping from his space heart. He sighed and looked away before leaving. "None of your business," he mumbled, just loudly enough for Wufei to hear, sauntering off down the hall and stemming the flow of tears that was threatening behind his eyes.

--

`What does he expect of me?' Quatre wondered to himself the next morning as he sat on the steps outside the Preventer Headquarters. `Is it that I either declare my undying love for him in front of all the Preventers or kill myself to prove my loyalty and there's no middle ground? Zechs is that kind of person. He's too passionate to ever take the middle road himself and if he's doing field work… oh dear.'

"So," came a bouncy American accent from beside him. "What's going on with you? C'mon, no one can hear. Tell me, maybe I can help. You know me I'm just a big kid in that department, I like to think I help."

Quatre smiled weakly. "That's nice of you Duo," he said honestly. "But this is something I really have to work through on my own. I wish you could help… believe me. I'd give anything for help right now. But there's no point dwelling on that or so much as telling you so… so I'm not sure why we're having this conversation," he added a little more coldly than he meant to, getting up to go and stand by Trowa to wait for Zechs.

Duo shook his head and sidled up next to Heero. "Hey, do me a favour, will ya?" he asked, wondering whether or not Quatre should have been there at all.

Heero raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I dunno whether it's just me, but somethin's up with Kat," he replied honestly, nodding towards the little blonde. "Just do me a favour and watch his back while I can't, okay?"

The Japanese boy nodded. "Hmm. I've noticed it too. I have a feeling it may be something to do with Wufei," he said perceptively, drawing on past experiences when the Chinese boy had been able to affect Quatre's mental stability very strongly.

"Wufei?" Duo said incredulously. "You're right. He's a jerk sometimes, isn't he. Then again, so are you."

"I just don't think they should work together," Heero remarked, brushing off that last comment since he knew, after six years of intimate friendship with him, that Duo really didn't mean it. "It jeopardises their safety and ours."

Duo nodded. "I totally agree," he said. "But it's not just now, it's every mission we're put on. Even when it isn't all five of us, those two seem to be stuck with each other. There's so much friction between the two of them, it's gonna explode."

"I'm not sure it's friction," Heero said plainly, shaking his head. "It's obvious that all of the hostility is one-sided."

The braided boy sighed. "I just don't get why he's so unkind to him. Kat's so gentle and he's never done a thing to Wufei," he went on. "Kat's always the one who fixes rifts between the rest of us and makes new friends. I can't see the reason. None of it makes any sense."

Heero shrugged. "This is Wufei. What makes you think there *is* a reason?"

Their conversation was cut short by the arrival of commanding officer Zechs Merquise. "Alright, we're leaving. On time for once," he added in a mumble. "Duo? You, Quatre and Wufei take the east route. We'll go south. You know the rest," he added, getting into the car as Trowa sat behind the wheel.

Heero shot a `what was he thinking *there*?' frown towards the other group members and watched Quatre's forlorn eyes expertly avoid contact with Wufei's. `I don't know what Zechs is trying to prove but this isn't helping anything.'

Duo jumped into the driver's seat and opened the door for Quatre, "You wanna ride shotgun?" he asked with a grin. The little blond nodded and climbed in beside him whilst Wufei got in the back.

The drive to the base was in an icy silence that could have chilled a penguin's spine. Quatre stared intently out of the window and looked around at the passing scenery, trying to get his mind off the possibility of seeing Treize again.

`Why is this hurting so much?' he wondered dejectedly as the collection of passing silver birch trees failed to capture his attention. `I've already figured out that I'm *not* in love with him so it really shouldn't matter whether I have to fight against him or not. But was it that I've really figured out that I'm not in love with him or have I just convinced myself that that's the case?

`Whenever I hear his name my heart skips a beat and then splits in two. Perhaps I *need* to see him. Perhaps I need closure on this whole thing. If I could speak to him one last time, I'm sure I could figure something out about us. My god, I'm obsessing over this far too much for a guy… no, forget that, if I want to think things through I will. Screw the stereotypes!

`That's something else he does to me,' Quatre thought to himself, shaken as the car went over a huge bump in the road. `He makes me lose control of my thoughts. Everything gets mixed up and no matter how calm I look on the outside, I get frantic and demoralised and scared. Damn it, I think I actually want to see him now. *That's* a step back for a start.'

"What's wrong with *you* today?" a harsh voice stabbed through his thoughts. It was Wufei.

Quatre shrugged. "Nothing," he replied. `Do you want to know what's wrong? *You're* wrong!'

"Listen, Winner," Wufei began again from the backseat. "If you can't handle this, there are plenty of other Preventers that can. We could just give Zechs a call and tell him you want to go home."

Duo glared at the road in front. "Wufei, will you just shut the fuck up!?" he snapped. "Geez, I always prefer it when we do these things with Heero. At least he doesn't let petty differences become a problem when we're out, or *ever* for that matter."

"Are you saying he's a better Preventer than I am?" Wufei asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, you know something, that's *exactly* what I'm fucking saying!" Duo yelled. "I'm not saying he's perfect but I'd give anything to be riding in a car with him right now and I'm pretty sure Quatre would too!"

Wufei rolled his eyes. "Oh please!" he groaned. "Look, Maxwell. Why don't you just go and screw the guy? It's so goddamned obvious. I've seen the two of you alone, you're practically ready to jump him, aren't you?"

"WHAT!?" Duo yelled, slamming the brakes on and throwing his friends forward about a mile. "Alright, listen Wufei," he continued in a snarling voice. "If we're gonna so much as get out of this mission alive, you have *got* to start acting like less of an enemy and more of an ally. I promise you I can stay cool if you cut out those comments so you'd better do it! Now buckle up `cos we've got some time to make up."

With that, Duo slammed the car straight into high gear and flew down the country lane, stopping about a mile shy of the huge warehouse complex the Gundanium salvage ring was operating out of, forcing them to walk the rest of the way for stealth.

Once they reached the building and got past the fence, they stayed up close to a wall and Duo spoke up in a whisper. "Okay, rendezvous point at 10am or sooner if called," he stated. He turned to Wufei and grinned maniacally. "So it's good fucking riddance to you for now, buddy. See ya," he added, disappearing into the warehouse.

Wufei grunted disapprovingly. "Such a hypocrite," he said before leaving Quatre to contemplate just what was going on.

The little blond pulled his gun out of his holster and pulled back the hammer, sneaking carefully around the side of the building to find an unguarded, unlocked backdoor. `That's ridiculously easy to get into,' Quatre mused as he poked his head inside and then climbed the stairs next to him. `Maybe someone's expecting us. Jesus, that's just not a nice thought.'

Quatre walked gingerly along the upper level, aware that most of the work was being done below ground and that he might not find anyone up here but still determined to look. He carefully pushed open a door and held his revolver up to anyone who might be inside.

He frowned at the type of the room he'd come across. `A bedroom?' he wondered. `So this level is residential? I suppose it makes sense to have some of the more vital staff on hand.'

The Sandrock pilot jumped as somebody stepped out of the door on the opposite side of the room. He had just enough time to look at the figure of the man in front of him and feel the shock hit him with all the strength of a tsunami before he fell unconscious.

--

His head swam as his eyes fluttered open. He frowned confusedly as he found himself staring up at the ceiling. His frown deepened as he realised he was lying on something soft and comfortable. `Pillows?' Quatre thought, almost aloud. `How did I end up in a bed?'

He sat up and swung his legs over the bed. "Ohh…" he murmured as he felt the pain from the back of his head when he stood up. `I must've fallen back over and hit my head on the floor. Okay, so maybe I *didn't* see him. I've just been thinking too much about-'

"Are you any better?"

Quatre's heart stopped in his chest as he heard the voice behind him. He didn't dare turn around and knew he'd either pass out again or-

"Quatre?" the soft, exquisite voice came again. "You've certainly grown in the past six years. You're practically as tall as me." The little blond winced as he felt an arm wrap around his waist and turned him to face the owner of that voice. He stared at the floor for a few seconds before stealing a glance at the man's face.

His breath caught in his throat as their eyes met, the threat of tears so swiftly returning with just the thought of someone whose very image pulled at his heart like strings. "Treize…" he whispered desperately. Quatre felt himself start to shake again, trembling uncontrollably with fear that he really *had* fallen completely in love with him.

"W- what… what are you doing?" Quatre continued, his tone only slightly above a whisper now. "Please Treize… everything you're doing, everything this organisation is doing is threatening so much… and…"

Quatre stopped as Treize smiled and pressed a finger to his lips. "This is something I have to do," he said quietly. "I won't apologise for it but I'll apologise for causing you any grief. I can understand why you'd be upset at the threat to peace but what does it have to do with you personally?" he asked in an unusually curious manner.

The little blond shook his head and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out his Preventer ID badge and flipping it open. He gave a wan smile and slipped it back into his pocket. "Treize… why? I just don't understand. I've been driving myself insane with questions about this. All day and night, all I've been doing is thinking about you."

Quatre screwed his eyes shut as he was gathered into Treize's arms and kissed on his forehead. "I simply do not approve of the way everything turned out," Treize replied. "I'm not trying to *hurt* anyone, I'm just doing this to right some wrongs. You're an intelligent man, surely you can understand."

"Sometimes it's hard to get inside your head," Quatre sniffed. `How am I supposed to understand his feelings when I don't even understand my own?' he wondered. `I suppose this is the choice Zechs has given me. Love or duty, that's what I have to decide. But would it hurt to stay like this for just a little while?'

He closed his eyes as he rested his head against Treize's shoulder, deeply inhaling the familiar smell of his cologne, savouring every little detail of the final moments they'd spend together. He could barely breathe. He was so tormented by the fact that, after six years worth of agonising over him, this was how things were going to end.

Quatre put his arms around Treize and sighed. "Can't I get you to change your mind?" he asked, the slightest hint of desperation seeping into his voice. "Just tell me what I need to do or say," he begged, with his face buried in Treize's chest. "Anything I can do to change your mind, just tell me and I'll do it, I promise…"

"I'm sorry little one," Treize replied softly. "You can't persuade me. Don't you think I've thought this through myself? I didn't make this decision overnight. This is something I need to do," he said again, driving it home that Quatre would never be able to reach him. Not anymore.

"I'm sorry too," Quatre replied, tears welling in his eyes and he slipped his hand onto his holster, grasping his revolver and gulping back sobs. "I love you," he added, swiftly bringing the gun up to Treize's heart. He took one last breath and pulled the trigger.

Treize gasped quietly and smiled ever so slightly, quickly grabbing Quatre and taking one last kiss from him. "I love you too," he replied as Quatre held him.

The younger man gritted his teeth as he felt Treize suddenly go limp in his arms and heard his breathing stop. `I really *am* in love with you,' he thought to himself as he laid Treize to rest on the ground. `I can't say *was* in love because this feeling is never going to go away. I'll always love you…'

He trembled as he sat down on the bed and looked away from his lover's body. He grabbed his radio and checked the time. 9:45. He held the button on the side that would give him a line to Duo and spoke. "Duo, it's Quatre. I've taken out the ringleader. Meet back at 10am as requested."

-"Kat? Wha… whadda ya mean? Was it Khush-"-

The Arabian boy gritted his teeth and gulped back the stinging feeling in his throat. His voice breaking only slightly as he spoke with the realisation that never again would he hear Treize's voice or see his face, that the man no longer even *existed*… and it was all down to him.

"I've fulfilled my duty," he said into the radio at last. "Quatre out."

~end~