Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Magic ❯ Only My Actions Can Say How Much I've Missed You ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes -- June 30, 2001 -- 5:32 pm
~Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm sorry I did a cliffhanger ending but I promise to make it up and the epilogue is already in the making! It's not that what-if kinda thing and it will have a happy ending -- I promise you that. Thanks for your reviews because that's what prompted me to write an epilogue for this story! I apologize if I upset you in writing my ending that way! Once again, thank you, arigatou, gracias, merci, maraming salamat!~
--FunnieBones2k :D
*Email regarding this matter or any other matter regarding fanfiction will be highly appriciated!*
Craziereggie392@aol.com
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Disclaimer:Bla h, I Don't own it, Don't have it, Do not intend to have it...ever...unless you wanna give it to me....
A/N: Please don't forget to read the Key! And Please Review! Review! Review! Review! Pleeeeeaaaaseeee because I'm really really really desperate...And the little song excerpt before the story is an angst enhancer...Heh Heh...
Key:
Italicized Text = Flashback
Plain Unitalicized Text = Reality/Present
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"…We had a once in a lifetime,
But I just couldn't see,
Until it was gone…
A second once in a lifetime,
Maybe too much to ask but
I swear from now on…
If ever you're in my arms again…
This time I'll love you much better…
If ever you're ever in my arms again...
This time I'll hold you forever,
this time we'll never end..."
-- "If Ever You're In My Arms Again, revival version by Regine Velasquez --
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Magic - Chapter V - Only My Actions Can Say How Much I've Missed You
"There was a tragic accident reported near the Conference building. A swerving truck hit Ms. Relena Peacecraft, the Vice Foreign Minister. She is in critical condition. Apparently, Ms. Peacecraft was said to have crossed the street without looking at the "Don't walk" sign…Relena Peacecraft is best remembered for her struggle to maintain…."
Heero Yuy punched the off button on his remote control.
"It can't be…" His voice trailed off. He swallowed hard to stop the tears from trickling down on his face.
He rushed out of the door like the wind.
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Relena was surrounded by IV tubes and was clinging to her life. A life support system was attached to her to keep her alive. There was nothing to do but wait, wait and see.
Outside of her room, Heero exited abruptly from the elevator, almost knocking it open. As he ran out of the elevator door, the hospital was surprisingly full, and he didn't even know where Relena's hospital room was.
He hastily rushed to the information desk, panting and breathing heavily as he reached the desk. There was nobody around to help, he punched the bell sitting on the counter a couple of times, and it got so annoying that one of the busy nurses stopped working and rushed to the desk.
"May I help you sir?" She sounded a bit irritated.
"Relena Yuy...wh--where is she?" He was so frustrated, couldn't even get his words straight.
"Ah, yes, Ms. Peacecraft." He winced at her statement, why was it that the people refused to recognize his name?
"I'm sorry sir, but first of all, she can't have visitors right now, and even though she was allowed to have visitors, I wouldn't think it would be best if I let you see her because of your condition." She pointed to one of the waiting chairs by the hospital rooms and said: "Maybe you should wait there and straighten yourself, I'll tell you when she may have some visitors."
"No. I must see her immediately. I'm her husband, Heero Yuy." He gave her a death glare that clarified that he wouldn't take no for an answer.
The nurse gulped quickly and licked her lips nervously.
"Sh---shhe is in room 318 sir. It's the third door down on your left."
He started off but was stopped.
"Sir?"
He turned around quickly and glanced at her.
"If she makes it through the first six hours, the chances of her surviving will be possible, if she makes it through the next twelve hours after that, we are quite positive that she will live."
He hastily nodded and sprinted down the hall, to his left and to her room. It felt like the longest sprint he ever took.
"The first six hours...."
Finally, he was there.
The white door beheld her name. It read:
"Dorlian-Peacecraft, Relena"
Why did people find it so difficult to acknowledge his name? Three letters were not so arduous to perceive...
He held the doorknob in still silence, slowly turning it as he could feel the eerie stillness of her room already. The knob was cool to his touch, numbing his fingers in a split second before he could turn it.
The door creaked as he pushed it, surprised that the room was frightfully cold and all he could hear was the deafening sound of her life support system.
He looked at her intently and swallowed hard as he neared her bedside. She had bandages everywhere and he could see some bloodstains through the white bandages. She looked like the life was knocked out of her, and the look of serenity on her face made it look as if she was ready to embrace death. She always looked peaceful to him while she was sleeping, but this time it was different. He did not want to see her this way.
He stood there like a shadow, trying to figure out what to do. Was that fateful accident meant to happen? If so, why her? Why did it cause so much pain? He himself knew that he was too vigorous to ever experience pain. But why did this one make that possible? Many questions of disappointment and bitterness popped out of his mind. He just couldn't imagine something like this would happen. Actually something told him that something like this would happen -- the point was, he refused to believe it, he was just too blind. He remembered the words she said to him on their wedding day:
" I can't believe it's all true, so true that we might end up paying dearly for this."
He looked at her desperately and sincerely, praying that she would stay through this alive. She had to -- or he would lose the only thing that he treasured.
"She was right, we were happy, too happy, we both knew we would end up paying dearly for that. But we didn't care, maybe when you're in love, you just can't see straight and think right anymore."
Heero Yuy, at this time, did not know that this was only half of the price he had to pay.
They threw their lives away, for only a moment that they wished would take forever.
He smiled sadly at her picturesque form, knowing that he could do nothing, but just look at her while she was still alive. He prayed, and hoped that she would survive this. She just had to, or he would just have to die with her. He blankly looked at the ghastly white hospital sheets, noticing that she was the same color as them. He found her hand and grasped it ever so tightly.
"Don't you die on me Relena..."
Her hand was terribly cold, it felt like ice shooting through his veins. He sat down on her bedside, his eyes never leaving her figure. Why did it have to be her? Why not him, at least he would have survived through this right away. She went through enough pain already.
He could feel his eyes getting cloudy. Hot tears trickled down his face slowly, leaving a tingling and heavy feeling on his cheek. He never experienced the act of crying before, maybe because there was probably nothing to cry about or this pain was too much to endure.
He covered his eyes with his hand and shut his eyes tightly. The tears had to stop, they just had to.
"H--Heero?" She whispered weakly and quietly, he could barely hear her.
"Ssh. Don't speak. The nurse said that if you make it through the first six hours, everything will be alright."
She looked at him blankly, as if she knew she wouldn't make it through. She looked into his azure eyes, those that brimmed with life and hope, then broke the stare. Her eyes would not promise the same. She turned away from him.
"I'm sorry Heero, so...sorry...I---I lost your baby..."
He clutched her hand tighter. What was she trying to say? And then, it entered his mind like a bolted jolt. His eyes flickered for a moment. She was pregnant. How come she never told him? He realized that if he lost the baby, he couldn't lose her. There was nothing else to do.
"No Relena.... it's ok...You won't die here....you have to stay...we'll make some more...don't you die here..." He swallowed harder as he managed to choke the words out of his dry mouth. The words came out uncoordinated and they didn't make any sense at all. He just wanted her to stay.
"You won't die here...you'll survive through this...and and remember what Duo said... we'll have children.... that we'll grow old together..." He stifled out as he continued. It was getting more hopeless by the minute.
"You. Won't Die. Here." He continued. It sounded more of like a command rather than a request.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
"...So sorry...." she breathed out weakly as she closed her eyes. She was ready.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
He pulled a gun out of his pocket realizing that his love was gone.
He brought it up to his head and squeezed her lifeless hand tighter.
Click.
There were no bullets.
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"Heero, get yourself together! It's been two weeks since she died, and look at you. You haven't taken a shower, you haven't shaved...you've literally slept all week, and now there's a huge stack of papers, the height of the Empire State building on your desk." Duo rambled as he paced back and forth in front of Heero.
"To make matters worse, you didn't even attend her funeral."
Heero just looked at him.
"She would not have wanted you to be like this." Duo frowned at his form. "Man, you look terrible."
Duo walked to his closet and started tossing him a dress shirt and a pair of slacks. The articles of clothing landed on Heero's head and he tried to take it off. "Take a shower, and go downstairs to eat lunch. My stomach is growling and Hilde is downstairs, cooking, so I guess I'll see what she's cooking."
Then, for the first time, Heero spoke to him.
"She was pregnant."
Duo's eyes bulged idiotically as his large head emerged from the closet.
"For how long?"
"I don't know. She only told me that she was sorry she lost my baby."
"It couldn't have been long."
"I know Duo, I know."
Duo bit his lip. He wished he could tell Heero, for Heero was suffering too much. But then, he promised Relena he would keep her secret. After all, everything went as planned, with Heero not attending her funeral, Heero would never know the truth. It was for the good of everyone.
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"Duo I hate seeing him this way. He dosen't know. The fact that he only knows I'm dead is killing him. If he ever finds out that I did this purposely, he will surely hate me." A young female voice said from the backround as Duo emerged from the adjacent office carrying a file folder in his hand.
"It was for the good of everyone."
"Or rather the good of everyone except Heero and me."
Duo sighed as he looked at the woman. He'd known her since he was fifteen and he was certainly surprised that she picked him, of all people to keep her secret. She had been hiding from the world for three years.
"Do you still want to go on like this? Hiding?" He replied quietly.
"It's for the sake of peace, working unseen is more effective. And my life is more secure."
"And Heero?"
"I don't know Duo, I don't know." She replied sadly, frowning.
"What if Heero goes insane and digs your grave only to find out that nothing is buried in there? What if he finds out eventually? You know how Heero is, he always has a way of finding things out."
"He will learn the truth eventually..."
"Relena, tell me one thing, were you ever pregnant?"
"No."
"Why did you tell him you were?"
"I don't know."
The young woman sighed heavily as she thought of what those three years have done to her. She thought of what she could have done with him, what may have come, and wished she never did whatever she decided to do three years ago.
"Only God knows how much I miss you, Heero..." She whispered sadly as she looked at her desk, which was bombarded with folders, folders, papers and more folders.
"Relena? I'm going down to the little cafe down the street. Do you wa-- Relena? Relena?"
"Sorry Duo, gotta go." Relena said as she grabbed her handbag and shoved past him.
"Where are you going?"
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Relena ran out of the elevator doors, finally nearing Heero's office.
"Please let him be there..."
Her pace quickened and she took a deep breath before rushing to his door.
"I'm sorry miss -- but you can't go in there." A middle-aged secretary calmly stated as she stood up from her seat.
Relena ignored the secretary and bolted through the mahogany surfaced wooden doors.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him working on his desk, clicking away on his computer.
"Heero."
"Relena."
The magic between these two people seemed to brighten up the room. Time froze. The noises from outside ceased to exist. The rushing secretary's steps went unnoticed.
What will happen next? Will Heero forgive her for leaving him to rot in misery even if she suffered it too and didn't mean it? Do you think it will have a happy ending? Or not? Will it end with "And they lived happily ever after"?
All the questions are now unimportant because, ladies and gentlemen, this is where the story ends.
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Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You
Original by Glenn Medieros, revival version by Alex Toh

If I had to live my life without you near me
the days would all be empty
the nights would seem so long
with you I see forever oh so clearly
I tried to be in love before
but it never felt this strong
our dreams are young and we both know
they'll take us where we want to go
hold me now touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
you ought to know by now how much I love you
one thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
nothing's gonna change my love for you
you ought to know by know how much I love you
the world may change my whole life too
but nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy
our love will lead the way for us
like the guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
you don't need to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
so come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
hold me now touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
you ought to know by now how much I love you
one thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
nothing's gonna change my love for you
you ought to know by know how much I love you
the world may change my whole life too
but nothing's gonna change my love for you