Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Maury meets the G-boys ❯ Maury meets the g-boys! (AKA To cut the hair, or not to cut the hair?) ( Prologue )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Welcome, today we are doing a show which will consist of cutting off
floor length hair" The audience claps from their seats.

"Our first guest is a Mr. Heero Yuy, Heero would you please take a
seat?" Heero appears and takes a seat next to Maury.

"Now tell me why you brought Duo here today?" asked Maury.

"Duo's hair always gets in the way, as sexy as it is in bed, it's
always tickling me. I always wake up to find Duo's hair tickling my
nose in the morning" Said Heero.

"Let's bring out Duo shall we?" The audience starts to clap as they
see two guards haul a kicking Duo, but stop when they see it's a guy.

"I'M NOT GETTING MY HAIR CUT OFF!!!" Duo shouted as loud as he
possibly can, still trying to hurt the people who were dragging him on
stage.

"Duo..." Heero began. "Shut up"

"But Hee-chan! My hair is very important to me!" Begged Duo when the
guards seated him next to Heero.

"HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (1) came a
sudden shout.

"oh no" Duo and Heero both muttered at the same time. Heero quickly
stood up and went To go hide.

"Where's Heero?" asked a blonde who appeared out of no where.

"Dunno" said Duo shrugging his shoulders.

"OMAE O KOROSU!!!!" came a shout, Heero suddenly appeared swinging on
what looked like a rope holding a gun and pointing it at Relena's
head. BANG!

"YATTA!!!!!"(2) Shouted Duo jumping into the air, forgetting he was on
a TV show.

"The big bad witch is dead!"(3) he shouted chanting,

"Nimu Kanryou" Was all Heero said staring at the bleeding body
grinning like a mad man.

"Let's go to a commercial!" shouted Maury over the madness.

Relena is seen standing on a tall mountain.
"HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" She looks to the
camera and holds a little package up. "I take Ricalo(sp?) cough drops
so I can shout as loud as I want. "HHHHHHHEEEEEERRR....."

"OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!!!!!" BANG! Chanting can be heard

"The big bad witch is dead!"

"Recalo, Don't take it if you are Relena"

Duo picks up his cell phone and dials a number.

"Hey what's up Quatre?"

"Nuttin' just Drinking some tea, smoking some suits" Wufei picks up
the phone.

"WAZZZZUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The wazzup scene we all know
so well happens.

"Hey Trowa! Pick up the phone!" shouts Quatre.

"Yo"

"Wazzzzzzuuuuuuuuppppppp" Shouts duo doing the tongue thing too, the
others follow. Trowa and Wufei hang up.

"So what's up D?"

"Nuttin', just having a drink and kissing some butt" The camera zooms
out and we can see Heero kissing Duo.

"True, True"

The Maury show is back on and we can see Maury hitting his head
repeatedly against a wall, while Heero and Duo make out on a chair.
The camera turns to the audience who has been replaced with a bunch of
hyper otaku, each one of them has a laptop and are typing furiously on
their fanfics. One of these Otaku is none other then Wulpix herself
who is grinning deviously(4) and typing up a storm, she must have some
strange stuff in store for us today folks! The camera turns back to
the show and Duo and Heero are still making out and Maury is now
wearing a pink Tutu and dancing around like a complete and total
idiot.

"Our next guest is none other then the rich Quatre Raberba Winner"
Maury says while still dancing around. Quatre appears and the otaku
rush to him and start stealing all his clothes. When they are
satisfied they go back to their seats leaving Quatre only in his
boxers with hearts on them. He blushes crimson red and runs back to
get some clothes on, then has a seat away from Heero and Duo who are
still making out. A green eye glares at the audience in one of Yuy's
death glares* from backstage.

"Tell me Quatre, why did you bring Trowa here today?" asked Maury who
was still dancing around imbasoically.

"Well you see Maury, I always see one eye, I've never seen both eyes
at once, I've always seen one or the other. Plus, it's a pain to kiss
him because of it, I always have to work around it" said Quatre still
blushing.

"Let's bring out Trowa" Trowa walked out still giving the audience
Yuy's Death Glare* and sat next to Quatre in a way that just screamed
out "You touch, you die" Trowa looked over at Duo and Heero who were
still making out, they hadn't moved since commercial break. Giggles
were heard from the audience the camera turned towards them all of the
audience were crowded around Wulpix's laptop, who looked like a mad
women. Trowa, who knew about the girls secrete stash of Dr. Pepper,
was scared for his life. There was no telling what was going to happen
to them now, all's he could do was pray that she didn't think of
anything too bad. Suddenly a familiar music started up, he recognized
the beat but couldn't exactly remember what the hell it was. Suddenly
the whole audience, wulpix excluded who was still typing up a storm,
stood to their feet, now all wearing a similar suit.(5)

"I wanna be the very best like no one ever was, to catch them is my
real test to train `em is my cause. I will travel across the land
searching far and wide, each bishounen to glomp the man that lies
within side.
Bishounen Gotta catch `em all!
It's you and me, I know it's my destiny.
Bishounen!
Oh he's so sexy can I have him please?
Bishounen gotta catch em all!
Oh a face so cute, and a nice butt too.
You glomp me and I'll glomp you Bi-shou-nen
Gotta catch `em all, Gotta catch `em all Bishounen!" This made Duo and
Heero stop making out in their chair and gasp in horror.

"Omae o korosu?" asked Heero, suddenly gasping. "OMAE O KOROSU!!!!" he
tried to say something else but all's that came out was those three
words.(6)

"Boku, boku wa shinigami shinigami!" The next scene is a bunch of
hyper otaku's running around trying to catch the g-boy's who have
mysteriously turned chibi and are running all over the place, dodging
little blue balls. All of this happens and Maury is still dancing
around like an idiot. Suddenly Quatre stops running and grins
maniacally. He gets that look in his eye, you all know what it looks
like, ZERO QUATRE!!!!!! Quatre reaches into hyperspace (7) and pulls
out a huge gun and starts firing all over the place. This causes the
Otaku to hurry back to their seats and remain quiet for the rest of
the show. Trowa puts a hand on Quatre's shoulder and immediately calms
the boy down, who blushes but keeps a firm hand on the gun just in
case the otaku get any more crazy ideas.

"Next time we come back we'll cut the hair!" announces Maury who jumps
into the air and does a split.

We see Wufei walk down the street and is suddenly struck by lightning.
He walks by a girl.

`Ooo nice ass!' Wufei turns to the girl.

"Onna! How dare you speak such injustice!?!?!?!"

"What? I didn't say anything"

"Wufei was the ultimate sexist" Says the announcer.

"Onna! Get out of my way!"

"Wufei believed that Women should give the man whatever they wanted"

"Onna! Get me my gundam!"

"He is wrong. Now The ultimate torture will come to the bishounen..."

"What did you say?" asked Duo. Wufei looks around, satisfied there is
no one around.

"I can hear onna's thoughts" he says with a shudder.

"Now Wufei will learn that unless he stop's being the sexist, justice,
rambling bishie he is, he will keep hearing what women think. The
taming of Wufei!"

"This is injustice! I demand a better role!"

We see a figure of a man standing on a mountain with a flag in his
hand. The words "Out play" flash onto the screen. A gundam suddenly
comes out of the water and the guy jumps into the gundam. The words
"Out wit "appear on the screen. Quatre is seen sitting in a tree
fixing the last of his...traps...this one consists of thousands of
guns, including sandrock pointing at one spot. He grins one of his
Zero grins and looks up to the sky satisfied. The words "Out Last"
flash onto the screen. We see a huge battle between five gundams, guns
are firing everywhere and things are being blown up. The words
"Survivor" pop onto the screen followed by: "Are you game?"

"We're back!" shouts Maury who is now wearing a wedding dress complete
with accessories, and make-up. "Now we'll get this show done and over
with, we'll cut their hair off! Who will go first?" Maury asks looking
at the Bishounen.

"I'll do it! I want to get this done as fast as possible! Even though
I don't like the idea of getting my hair cut off!" Duo shouts walking
to the chair. As soon as the hair person comes even close to cutting
Duo's hair, Heero shoots him.

"Heero why'd you do that? You're the one that DRAGGED me here in the
first place!" shouts Duo. Heero walks up to Duo and grabs the braid
and kisses Duo.

"Mine" he says glaring at Maury in one of his classic Death-glares.

"Omae o korosu" he mutters before shooting Maury. He looks at Quatre
and Trowa who are in their own little moment.

"You know where to find us, if you need to. Let's go" Heero says
before picking Shinigami up and heading out of the building. Trowa and
Quatre soon follow. Heero looks back with one last look and set's Duo
down.

"Heero, if you're gonna blow the building up, can I do it please???"
Heero looks at duo and nods before giving his Koi the button. After
they blow the building up they head to the nearest Safe place and do
some things, which I wont mention ^.^

1) You all know who this is.

2) Yatta. It means: "We did it" or "You did it" in this case it means
"you did it!"

3) Someone's seen OZ too many times...

4) Someone's had too much Dr. Pepper...

5) Ok. If you don't understand what's about to happen go to:[1]
www.pocket-bishonen.com

6) Hehe, poor Heero, all pokemon like

7) Hyperspace. Hyperspace is something that only girls can use. From
this existence they can get anything from huge mallets to bishounen
themselves. Hey! Why is Quatre using it?!?!

Well, that's the end of this...insane...fic. Did ya like it? I Thought
it was funny, stupid, but funny ne?

Wufei: I thought you'd leave me out of this one onna!

Me: I didn't say that Wuffie, besides, I thought you needed a lesson.

Duo: Remind me to never participate in one of your fics ever again.

Me: Not even a Lemon with Hee-chan?

Duo: *brightens up a lot at this*

Me: Just be happy I didn't decide to cut that braid off...

References

1. http://www.pocket-bishonen.com/