Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Meadowsweet ❯ meadowsweet ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Meadowsweet
Author: Lethanon
Archive: www.geocities.com/lethanon
Warnings: 2+3+2, Duo POV.
Notes: I wrote this for Trixie, coz she wished me a happy b'day on my LJ. *glomps* Hopefully it's her cup of tea *snicker*

Among the superstitious meadowsweet is reputed to have the power of inducing sleep from which a person cannot be roused.

*

I had a cup of tea before bed. That's all I know. Perhaps that's all I needed to know. That, and it tasted like honey. Sort of.

*

He is on the hill again. I don't know what it is about that hill, but it…unnerves me. When I'm there it's as if the rest of the world does not exist. The sky looms larger in my mind, the grasses seem to frequent forever, and the flowers...the flowers fragrance all thought. When away I huger to be there and once there I never want to leave and that's why I can't stand it and why I cannot tolerate that it so takes him. Like now, as he sits there. On the hill again.

What does he see when he's up there? I could hazard a guess, but I don't think I would be right. I wouldn't dream to think I had him figured. We're so alike, and that likeness puts us on other sides of the ball.

The climb up the hill is hard; it's uphill on uneven ground. We chose it because we don't find it impossible, while an Oz soldier…well, I doubt they would make it. Too many doughnuts and all that. Still, I didn't like that this was the third time today I had climbed the damned thing, and if I have to climb it one more time I think I'll throttle the bastard.

When I get there I'm hot, sweaty, and bothered in more ways than one. He just sits there, doesn't acknowledge me at all, and I have that weird feeling again, just like every other time I came up to fetch him down again. Like he doesn't know I'm here. That hurts; you have no idea how much.

I call to him and it seems to take forever for him to turn and look up at me. When he does I can't see him clearly beneath all that hair, but I know he can see me. His mouth does this odd little quirky thing, and then he's standing, striding past me, leaving me there, alone, on the top of the hill, and it's cold. So very, very cold.

The grass folds under the weight of the wind, but the flowers are still standing, and they look darker from here, as if the sun doesn't reach them, but it's beating down on all of us. So why is it cold?

*

I wake in a cold sweat, trembling, heart beating too fast and hands clenched so tight into fists my nails are cutting moon-shaped holes in my palms. It takes longer than it should to pull myself together, to gather every scrap of whit I can find and form coherent thought. It wasn't too enlightening.

"Shit."

"Duo." The light comes on and Trowa's head appears in the doorway. He just stands there a moment to make sure I'm awake and then goes off down the hallway, knocking on doors as he goes, turning on lights and generally making more racket than I think I've ever seen him make before. It's…a tad disconcerting.

Okay, it's weird enough that I drag my arse out of bed and haul some clothes on quick smart, falling into the hallway just as Heero appears. Guess I moved faster than I thought. Heero looks me once up and down, as if stripping me then and there with hi damn eyes, and then he turns, dismissing me completely and walking down the hall. I just shrug and follow. It's not like Heero Yuy has ever looked at me with something other than disdain.

Trowa Barton, on the other hand…I don't know…we just seem…cut from the same cloth, if that makes any sense. Not that he looks at me any different to Heero. In fact, I don't think he ever actually does look at me. He's just sort of…there, in a way I've never known anyone else to be. Just like he's there, standing against the bench, when we all gather in the kitchen.

"Mission." And that's all he says, as if it explains everything, and I suppose it does, in a way. I don't know why, but I move around to his side of the table to sit down. There's just something about being near him, about almost being able to touch him, to hear his breath, to feel his warmth…

I got my head out of that gutter-trap quick smart and paid my attention to Heero; all five cents worth. I grabbed a cup of tea for myself and got down to business as it were. It wasn't a difficult mission, by our standards, but there were precautions to take. So we sorted them out, there and then, grabbed out gear and bolted. No questions asked, no great strategy forged, just a rough sketch, quiet agreement, snatch and run for your Gundam. Yes sir, thank you ma'am.

The Gundams are stashed in a valley nearby. It's a ten minute sprint there and I'm third, Wufei and Quatre on my heels. None of us are really tired, we're just trying to wake up. It usually takes a while, especially on an empty stomach with minimum liquid in the system. Least, it takes me a while. Guess I don't really have the right to speak for the others.

Deathscythe takes a minute flat to warm up; a fact I'm damn proud of. Subsequently I'm first in the air. Damn near wet my pants when Heavyarms shot to my side. Trowa appeared on my network screen and I couldn't keep the grin from splitting my face. I think I even wriggled my fingers at him. Lay it down to adrenaline; it'll do strange things to anyone, especially me.

"Keep your head clear."

And that was that. We headed for the base we were meant to hit and all went well. Well, well until I got slammed across the head by a Leo, the neck of the gundam disconnecting, killing all my external sensors and sending enough sparks into the cockpit to host the New Year's fireworks display in New York. After that I don't think you could call it well after all, but I wouldn't know. I wasn't even awake.

*

He's on the hill. Again. I'm nervous but don't know why as I approach. I look down and the grass seems to part for my feet, pulling me forward and I know as soon as I get there I won't want to leave, but I keep going. I don't know what pulls me forward faster, the scent of the flowers or him. He doesn't react when I get there, calling his name softly.

I place a hand on his shoulder and he barely flinches. He just shakes his head, shift to his feet in one fluid movement and walks past. I'm alone on the hill. And it's damn cold. Looking out, down the low valley, the flowers are still, but the grass is shifting. It's waving, and the flowers are waiting. I don't want to know why.

*

I wake. I scream. It hurts. I try to sit up but hands, cool against my feverish skin, hold me down and they damn near push me under again. I hold up a hand and it's speckled with rust; fine dark burn holes from my impromptu fireworks display. I have no doubt what the rest of me looks like. I know what they feel like. Reaching up to my chest I go to scratch the ones already driving me mad but again I am stopped by that cool hand. It's annoying enough now that I look up and snarl.

Only to wish I hadn't. Trowa hardly seems amused, and why should he? He's just trying to help.

"Sorry."

"It's alright."

I just shrug, knowing it's not really. I should learn to keep my emotions under control, more like he does, but not so…extreme. Sometimes I wonder if there's a person in there. I mean, I know there's something there, but it's so…cold.

My dream comes back to haunt me and I shudder. Trowa mistakes it for a side-effect of the burns; a belated state of shock if you will, and wraps a blanket around me. It doesn't help ease the chill.

"Drink this." He passes me a drink, but the liquid is murky. I know it's drugged. I don't want it. What if we are attacked while I'm out cold? These guys won't stick around for me. They can't and we all know it. And yet…I'm here when they should have just blown me and Scythe to hell.

I drink it, if only for that small, begrudging twitch of a smile I almost get in return. That small touch of warmth. Then I'm drifting.

*

On the hill. Again. I manage to place my hand on his shoulder without a flinch. Hell, there's no reaction at all. I reach out, run a finger down his cheek. He finally reacts. I sigh as he stands, feel like crying as he walks past without saying a word. The flowers are waiting, but the grass is parting the sea for me.

*

I wake with a quiet scream. It takes a while to get my breathing under control. It takes even longer for my eyes to adjust to the light. Everything is slightly out of focus and I vaguely remember the drugs. They're still in my system; I can feel them. I don't like it.

"Duo?"

My head snaps around so fast I damn near break my neck. He's still here, in my room, watching me. I can just make out his face in the dark, hovering there, beside the bed. It is even more impossible to know what he's thinking than usual.

"The others?" My voice is raspy, parched and my throat is damned dry. He touches a glass of water to my lips and lets me drink like a dying man. Maybe I am, it's hard to say. The water has an odd taste…like honey but not.

"They are at a different safe house. They had to cover me while I got you out."

Me. That in itself was not easily believed. It wasn't impossible either. I was alive. That was, apparently, enough proof for my drugged mind.

"Deathscythe?"

"In the hangar. It needs repairs."

No shit. It would take me weeks just to repair the broken connections let alone the face work! And I had no doubts Trowa would be gone the moment a mission came in, and I would be alone again, still injured, and basically screwed as hell if anyone unwelcome came along. Not my brightest moment.

"You okay?"

I smiled in spite of the pain. Trowa…asking how I was? Maybe I was still dreaming. But he wasn't walking away. He was just sitting there, looking at me from under that weird-arse bang, eyes strangely bright in the dark. There must be starlight in the room somewhere.

"I'm good."

Trowa just shook his head as if I had said the wrong thing, picked up a book from the side table and started reading out loud. I couldn't really make out the words. I'm not sure they were English. I let his voice wash over me, and before I knew it I was out again.

*

The hill. He's there. I'm there. I've got my arms around him when he stands and walks away. It's frickin cold and the flowers can piss off for all I care.

*

So damn! cold. I turn my head almost immediately, heart racing, to find him sitting there again. He looks…not quite in control as usual.

"Trowa?"

Again, I'm so parched I could drink half the Atlantic and not be satisfied. He brings the cup to my lips but its warm this time and the sweet smell of the tea is strangely soothing. I guzzle it in a minimal amount of gulps and he takes the empty cup away.

"You're feverish."

I could have told you that. I feel like there's a fire in me, but it's not the usual kind of fever I would associate with burns. This seems…colder. It's like I've been frozen from the inside out and the heat is all trapped on my skin, unable to get any further away. It hurts like hell. Tears are in my eyes.

One hand reaches out and a finger brushes against my lashes, gathering the moisture there. He just looks at the small droplet on his fingertip, completely entranced. He speaks, but only after the longest silence.

"It hurts."

I didn't know if he was talking about me or him and I didn't really care. I was going under.

*

Hill. Him. Me. The grass is longer, over our heads. I hadn't noticed it was getting longer. The flowers are too high to reach. I feel like Alice after falling down the waterhole. The sunlight doesn't reach us as I lean forward, something pulling my body against his. I feel like I'm almost where I am supposed to when he stands. And then he's gone. And its…Ice.

*

Shuddering, dry heaves and I can't breathe. Hands on me, arms all around me. Voices in my head. I need….liquid! I slap my hands all over the place but he knows and it's at my lips. Honey….the sweet nectar.

"Trowa?"

"Something's wrong with you…I can't take you to a hospital Duo. Do you understand? I…can't…"

Worried. I could see it now. Trowa was worried about me. Me…Worried. I was starting to worry too. I couldn't really feel me…Just the cold. All consuming.

"I…I think I'm scared."

"You think?" That quirky grin again, but full blast this time and it's smothered with worry. He's pushing it for me, trying to keep my spirits up, and maybe, I think, trying to keep me awake, but I'm already falling.

"Duo, don't go…"

"But…the flowers…"

"What flowers?"

"In the field…"

"Duo, you're scaring me."

"Sorry Tro…"

*

Me on him on hill. I'm almost warm, almost there. Skin flush against skin, only a petal between us. Then he's gone. Walked away. Glacial.

*

"TROWA!"

"Shh, I'm here." And he is; all around me and it's like in the dream, only I can't breathe, can't see, can't think! There's a glass at my lips and I drink instinctively, only it doesn't taste right. It's not sweet, but…bitter. I don't like it. Can only tolerate a mouthful. Just enough to take a deep breath of air.

"Tastes fowl."

"It's just water…" You sound…confused, but not surprised. You know what's happening, or you have some idea. Help me Trowa. Get me down off the hill! I don't like the hill Trowa!

"Shh…calm down. Your heart's beating too fast. Settle down. It's alright. You're safe here."

Only you would tell me to calm down by telling me my heart was getting ready to cark it!

"Trowa…I'm cold."

He was all around me faster than I would have thought possible, every inch of him touching me. There were clothes between us, but I didn't feel them. I just grabbed and held on for dear life, head reeling, blind and scared shitless.

"Trowa…" I didn't know what else to say.

Something brushed across my forehead, soft and…sweet…like honey.

"Do it again."

I felt the brush across my cheek this time and I knew it for what it was. Lips. His lips. On me.

"Again…" I could barely breathe, but not because of the cold. I didn't dare break the moment.

His lips were on my throat, breath hot on my skin, presence a soft whispering caress all over my skin.

"Trowa…" Then his lips were on mine and I was sliding under.

*

He's in me and all the world is gone. The flowers bob in the darkness over our heads, the grass has long sine parted. It's…warm here.

*

I wake to find breath being pushed into me, only to be sucked away again, and then its back and that warmth is flooding me, filling me, completing me.

Trowa pulls away and smiles and it's the sunshine that was missing on the hill; the heat that couldn't reach me is in me and I throw my arms around him, lips seeking, finding, driving. He seems surprised at first, but he's as eager as I am and he's so sweet.

"Duo?"

"Warm…" I whisper against his lips and his arms wrap tighter around me until I'm flush against his body and we're both plunging tongues deep, one into the other and I can see, and the window is letting the sunlight pour in.

"You're okay…"

"Fine."

"Duo…" And he won't let me go, and I know this is for as long as we can take it; for as much as we can want it, and I know I want forever, for as long as that can be and the flowers are nodding in the back of my mind. They're tired of waiting. We don't have to anymore.

"Sweet…" Like the tea. And it hits me, like a dawning wave.

Meadowsweet.

*

I have a cup of tea before bed every night. It's sweet…Meadowsweet.