Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Meio-chan Vs. Wufei-baka ❯ Meio-chan Vs. Wufei-baka ( Prologue )

This is the complete version of the interlude in chapter 2 of Tenshi-chan's fic, Gundam Wing Rewritten. There are a few differences in the beginning, but it's almost exactly the same. This is also my very first attempt at an all-out humor fic, so be nice!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. However, all the new people who pop up in the fic belong to me unless they're other authoresses or people of that category.

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Japanese Glossary (for your reading convenience)

Meio-chan: Dark king-chan

Tenshi-chan: Angel-chan

-Chan: an affectionate suffix for children or close friends

Onna: woman, women

Meio-Sei No Musume: Pluto's Daughter (for everyone who couldn't figure out what my original pen name meant!)

Imouto: younger sister

Aho: fool, jackass, stupid, moron

Omae o korosu: I'm going to destroy you (the "I" is implied in this phrase)

Baka: idiot, moron, stupid

Anta: you (this is one of the many rude ways of saying "you")

Gomen nasai: I'm sorry

Demo: but

Atama: head

Mi-chan: no definition that I know of (this is a friend's nickname ^_~)

Kawaii: cute

Uruse: shut up (the really rude way)

Iie: no

Owari: the end, conclusion

Side Notes: Japanese has no plural, so you wouldn't add an "s" at the end of a word. That'd be a linguistic mistake!!

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Meio-chan: Tenshi-chan's fic is going along pretty well… I've got the distinct feeling that it's going to get very interesting later on. I know some spoilers!!!! He-he!!! I promised not to tell!!!

*Wufei pops up*

Wufei: How can you say that, onna? This is injustice!!

Meio-chan: *Raises eyebrow* Really? Care to enlighten me?

Wufei: *Begins to vent* Yui and that weak onna are the focus of this pathetic story that other weak onna is writing!!!

Meio-chan: *Gets a very dangerous gleam in her eye* What…exactly…are you implying by that??

Wufei: *Oblivious and still venting* I hardly appear in that weak onna's fic!! That's injustice!!

Meio-chan: *Beginning to get pissed off* Listen, you chauvinistic pig of an idiot!! It's not your place to say what you think about the fic; you're perfectly vulnerable to the author's manipulation whether you like it or not!! My name is Meio-Sei No Musume, not onna!!!!! And Tenshi-chan is my imouto, and she's not a weak onna!!!!! Therefore, I suggest you shut your enormous mouth before I decide to hurt you!!!!!

Wufei: *Blink* You?? A weak onna, hurt me??? Bah!!!!!

Meio-chan: *Presently VERY pissed off and begins to power up* WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Wufei: *Mutters something in Chinese, not noticing the crucial change in Meio-chan. Fatal mistake*

Meio-chan:*SNAP* Chang Wufei, you ungrateful soon to be very sorry little *VERY long string of extremely rude/obscene Japanese and Chinese words*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! What do you think you just called me?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! I understood that perfectly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wufei:*Gulp* You did?????????????????

Meio-chan: *Throws one of her most destructive attacks at him* Of course I did, aho!!!! I'm multilingual and Chinese happens to be one of the languages I know!!!!! Omae o korosu!!!!

Wufei: *takes one good look at the attack and runs off screaming with the attack on his tail*

Meio-chan: *Very smug* That'll teach him.

*Leaves with Tenshi-chan to go to Ana's house to go play Laser Quest and kick some ass*

~~ Next morning after Laser Quest… ~~

Wufei: *On the verge of having a heart attack from running so much to save his sorry little ass, but still running* Onna!! *Heave* I give up!! *Heave*

Meio-chan: *yawn* Hmm?? Nani?? What did you say???

Wufei: Onna!!! I Give Up!!!

Meio-chan: *ignores him and flicks her hand. The attack starts speeding up*

Wufei: *screams and runs faster*

*Other Gundam pilots pop up*

Quatre: What's going on? Who's screaming??

*All pilots see Wufei running away from a giant ball of energy*

Duo: *Laughing hysterically* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wu-man screams like a girl!!!!!

Trowa: ...

Hiiro: *smirks*

Quatre: Oh my…

Meio-chan: *notices the other pilots* Oh, you're all here. Come to watch the show?

Wufei: *Looks like he's about to pass out* Onna!!! Get this crazy ball the hell away from me!!!

Meio-chan: Really, Wufei-baka, when will you learn? *About to flick her hand again*

Wufei: *turns white* Nnnnnnoooooooo!!!!!!!! I'll do anything!!!

Meio-chan: *personality change*

Morrighan: Anything??

Wufei: *positively desperate* Anything!!!

Duo: *starts to snicker*

Morrighan: *starts to lower hand while smiling evilly* Do I have your word on that?

Wufei: Yes!!! Hurry up, onna!!! *Notices his deadly mistake* I mean, hurry up, Meio-Sei No Musume!!!

Duo: *starts laughing again*

Morrighan: *vicious smile* Okay… *lowers hand completely and attack disappears* My name is Morrighan, actually…

All pilots: ??????????????????

Wufei: *collapses in exhaustion*

Morrighan: Let's see…what should I have him do??

Duo: *jumping up and down* I know! I know!!

Morrighan: *glares at Duo* Can it, baka. *Facial expression changes to one of pure mischievous evil*

Wufei: *realizes mistake* OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morrighan: Too late, Fei-baka. You want to play "run away from the deadly attack" again?

Wufei: NO!!!!!!!!

Morrighan: Good. I want you to get your ass over here and yell at the top of your lungs for the entire Earth Sphere and all the Space Colonies to hear that you love… *pauses dramatically* …all the women in existence!!!!!!!!!!

Wufei: *turns bright green*

Duo: *collapses from laughing so hard* You are so in for it, Wu-man!!!

Morrighan: *Glares at Duo again* You're next, Braid-Boy. *Switching back to total mischievous evil mode* Now, anta baka, where's that proclamation I asked for? I'm waiting… *starts tapping foot impatiently*

Wufei: *Grumble* I love all the women in existence.

Morrighan: Nani??? What did you say?? Can't hear you…

Wufei: *Slightly louder* I love all the women in existence.

Morrighan: I can't hear you!!!!! LOUDER!!!!!!!!!!!

~~ 15 minutes later… ~~

Wufei: *Very top of lungs* I LOVE ALL THE WOMEN IN EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morrighan: *Finally satisfied* Much better. I'm sure Tenshi-chan will be slightly happier with you.

*glomp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * (Done by horrendous floods of single women)

Wufei: AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morrighan: *Tilts head slightly to the side* Oh, did I forget to mention that I had that broadcasted to all the universes/dimensions that exist?????

Wufei:*EXPLODE* WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morrighan: Really??? I'd love to see you try with all those young, attractive women attached to you like that.

Duo: *Cracks up and starts laughing hysterically again* Oh yeah, definitely!!!!

Hiiro: *Kind of pissed off, but not really* Why the hell is everyone stealing my line??

Morrighan: *Personality change*

Seraphina: Gomen nasai, Hiiro-kun… I guess Morrighan went a little overboard…demo Wufei-kun was being mean to Tenshi-chan…he called her weak!!! Tenshi-chan's going to yell at him later!!

*Everyone stares at Seraphina*

Duo: Hey, wait a sec!! Weren't you some crazy, really evil chick that was having too much fun torturing Wu-man??

Seraphina: *Blink, blink* Nani??? That was Morrighan!!!!!! I'm Seraphina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All pilots: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Quatre: Isn't that you?

Seraphina: No!!! Of course not!!!!! I'm not some woman with evil intentions for the world!!!!

Quatre: *Sweatdrop* Okay… So how does it work?

Seraphina: I don't know…it just happens, Quatre-kun…

Wufei: *Having managed to pry off some of the women attached to him* You baka onna, how could you not know?!?!

Seraphina: *Getting upset* I'd like to see you try sometime!!

Quatre: Wufei!! Leave her alone!!!!

Wufei: *Mad* Me?!?! Leave that crazy, baka, weak onna alone?!?!?!?!?! She's the one that got me into this mess!!!!!!! *Wildly gestures as best he can at all the women still attached to him*

Seraphina: *Very upset* That was Morrighan!!!!!!! And I'm not crazy, baka or weak!!!

Trowa: You're upsetting her. That could trigger a change in personality.

Hiiro: *Pointing trusty gun at Wufei's baka atama* Shut up or omae o korosu.

*Wufei shuts offending mouth*

Duo: *Indignant* What about me, Hiiro?? What do I get to do?

Hiiro: You can shut up like Wufei or the braid will be shot off.

Duo: *Loud squeak* Nooo!!!!! Not the braid!!! *Hugs braid possessively*

Hiiro: *Yui Death Glare* I told you to shut up.

*Duo shuts enormous mouth upon threat*

Seraphina: That wasn't necessary, Hiiro-kun, I can take care of myself. But thank you anyway. *Walks over and pecks him on the cheek*

Duo: *Jealous* How come Hiiro gets a kiss and not me?!?!?!

Quatre: Duo!!!

Seraphina: Well… *Starts counting off points with her fingers* …the first and probably most important is that Mi-chan would probably kill me if I did; I want to stay alive, thank you very much. Secondly, you weren't the one who told Wufei-kun to keep his mouth shut. Third, I don't think you deserve one.

Duo: *Funny, kawaii squeaky noises* But…but…

Seraphina: *Wagging finger at him* No "buts", Duo-kun. Besides, you want to keep your braid, right? Hiiro-kun looks like he's ready to shoot it off.

Duo: *Grabs braid* *Sounding a lot like a little child* No!!! My braid!!!!

Seraphina: Silly Duo-kun. *Gets a hold of his braid and yanks on it*

Duo: *Tips over and falls on butt* Hey!!!! What was that for?!?!?!

Seraphina: *Kawaii pout* Can't I have any fun???

Duo: Uh, who's Mi-chan??

Seraphina: *nervous laugh* Eh-heh-heh-heh… Someone who…oh never mind…I don't want to get into explaining that to everyone…

Wufei: *Mutter* Baka, weak onna…

Seraphina: That is it!!!!! *Makes all the women glomped onto Wufei return to proper universes/dimensions* You are going to be very sorry about calling me that. *Personality change*

Morrighan: Seraphina could never be more right than that. There's gonna be hell to pay.

Wufei: AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that crazy onna again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Bolts and cowers behind the other pilots*

Morrighan: *Sinister smile and raised eyebrow* Is Wufei being a coward hiding behind his comrades???? Tsk, tsk, tsk. *Snaps fingers*

*Poof*

Trowa: *Twitch, twitch*

*Other pilots just stare*

Wufei: *Something doesn't feel right. Feels his head* AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Onna what the hell did you do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! *Starts screaming incoherently Chinese*

*Duo starts laughing again at Wufei's predicament*

Morrighan: There's something called "instant hair loss", Fei-baka. Go figure.

Wufei:*really, really pissed off* when i get my hands on you, i'm going to kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morrighan: *Yawn* Hmm?? What did you say?? Your threats don't work on me.

Hiiro: Fix his hair, Morrighan, or I'll personally find a pair of scissors and chop your hair off so that it reaches your ears.

Quatre: Hiiro!!!!

Morrighan: *Protectively yanks her hair away from him* You wouldn't dare!!!!!

Hiiro: *Crosses arms over chest* Oh yes I would.

Morrighan: Damn. Hii-chan, you're mean!!!!

Duo: *Choke* "Hii-chan"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Morrighan: Uruse, baka. Be grateful that it isn't your hair that's in danger of being cut off to an unwanted length.

Hiiro: *Holding a pair of scissors* Morrighan…what about Wufei's hair?

Morrighan: *Protectively keeps hair away from him at the sight of scissors in his hand* Iie!!!!!!!! Scissors away!!!!!!! Away, NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Hiiro: Only if you return Wufei's hair to its original state.

Morrighan: Fine, be that way. *Snaps fingers again*

*Poof*

Wufei: *Feeling head again* my hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts to go ballistic with happiness*

Morrighan: *Deadpan voice* My heart soars.

~~ Owari ~~

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Scoreboard!!!!

Meio-chan/Morrighan/Seraphina: 4

Hiiro: 1

Duo: None yet

Trowa: None yet

Quatre: None yet

Wufei: ZERO!!!!

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Author's Ending Notes:

Morrighan is name of either the Celtic or Gaelic goddess of war (can't remember which), and so it really doesn't belong to me. I just happen to think it's a cool name and decided my "warui" side should have it. As for the name Seraphina, well…I guess it's self-explanatory. It doesn't belong to me either; I just borrowed it as the name for my "tenshi-like" side. I think the rest you can figure out yourself.

As for how the personality changes are triggered…well…I guess you could say it's based on emotional state MOST of the time. It can also be based on the situation. The changes can be predicted if you know what to look for. Let's say I'm presented with a perfect opportunity to seek revenge on someone (in this case, Wufei was the victim), I'll change to Morrighan. She's the one who loves to seek/plan revenge and loves to excessively torture her victim if given the opportunity. If I'm presented with a situation where a more polite (or something along those lines) approach is needed, I'll change to Seraphina. She's practically the complete opposite of Morrighan. Seraphina is sweet, polite, and seems to be a very innocent angel (hence the name). And for all people who are wondering out there, no, this doesn't happen in real life, contrary to what some people say. Heh-heh-heh. Don't tell Wufei that. Then he'll kill me for sure. Well, he can try, at least. I'm sure he'll be very successful at failing to do so.

Please review!!!!!!! The more reviews requesting a sequel to this or a better explanation of WHY I have personality changes, the larger the chances of it happening!!!!!! Any ideas for any future installments are welcome as well!!!