Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ The Only Man to Ever Break Heero Yuy ( Chapter 26 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

Thanks to my two editors! Pious Knight and neekabe! Without them this story would be unreadable (laughs)

Disclaimer: Believe me I don't own Gundam Wing…wish I did though, but you know what they say, 'If wishes were fishes…'

The Only Man to Ever Break Heero Yuy

Heero's eyes stared into the distance without any real interest, it was difficult to focus on anything specific considering how he was feeling. His head had begun to pound in time with his heart several hours ago, but he had refused to ask for something for it. Heero was determined to make it through the night, but the damned fever was slowly wearing away at his resolve. The heat was nothing he couldn't live with, it was the cold, and shivering that came with it, that threatened to bring the former pilot down. Every injury came alive with each tiny jerk of his body, and it was almost as if Luc were once more in the room having his fun.

John was by his side through it all, a rather silent presence now, but a presence welcomed nonetheless. There was something about the old doctor that allowed him to do what no one else, save a very small group, had ever been able to do. A group that he had once considered family, a group of which he was no longer a part. Heero pulled his thoughts to a sudden halt, realising the falsehood of his previous thought, there was another person who had been able to reach him; Ash, a creatively stubborn man, who had insisted on being with him through every difficult time. What set these men apart form the rest? No doubt it was their individual bold natures, and perhaps not truly knowing who he really was hadn't hurt.

The moment John lay his hand upon Heero's shoulder, the former pilot turned his gaze towards the old doctor. John offered him a smile before his fingers of his free hand brushed across Heero's forehead, as they had been doing at various times since the fever had first made its appearance. At any other time Heero knew such a gesture would annoy him, no matter who did it, but at the moment he could have cared less. He was having a hard time thinking clearly, to even remember how long he had been here, Heero was positive that he had been unconscious when he arrived. Which meant when Sally came down, it would be the first time in over three years that he had seen her.

That thought sent anticipation and dread coursing through his veins in turns. Would she let him speak? Could he tell her the truth of everything that happened? It was something he couldn't stop himself from hoping for. If anyone would send the information back to the others it would be Sally. However he doubted she could not be aware of Luc's little games. And the fact that she would knowingly let that happen, told Heero—however much he didn't want to believe it—that Sally—like the others—wouldn't be willing to listen to what a 'traitor' had to say. Had Heero the strength, he might had attempted to tell John the truth of his life. Yet Heero knew without needing proof, that were he to tell John everything, and the good doctor to tell the others, they would not be inclined to believe. Heero was beginning to doubt very much, that anything might be able to make them see now.

The door at the far end of the room opened, just as John had opened his mouth to speak, both of their gazes turned to look in that direction, and Heero knew neither was pleased with what they saw. Luc strode through the doorway a sneer plastered on his face, and he seemed almost ready to whistle a tune. Heero sensed John's entire body going rigid at the sight of the younger doctor. "What are you doing here?" he demanded not even bothering to try and conceal the contempt from his voice.

Luc came to a halt, his features set in a high and mighty expression, "Sally called me in, I'm to assist her with him," he made a disinterested gesture Heero's way as he continued across the room. It was perhaps the only time in Heero's recollection that the man had passed below his feet, yet still Heero felt like jerking away. The realisation that that was his reaction to Luc's proximity, made Heero's anger boil, but it couldn't do more than that. There were no options opened to him in this situation.

"After all you've done, how can I believe you'll actually help him?!" John threw back as he took a step closer to the table Heero was strapped to.

The second doctor halted just as he came to the counters on the other side of the room, and he half turned fixing John with an evil grin. "That's really not your concern any longer, now is it?" he began rummaging through the cabinets pulling out various items and tools, before he began preparing a syringe. "Oh, and John?" Luc fixed one eye on the older doctor as his hands worked at filling the syringe, "As a reward for all your hard work, Sally's sending you home early today."

Heero could feel his frustration build at being held back to little more than a bystander in all this. Any and all thoughts of sleep had fled from Heero's mind the moment Luc walked in, suddenly his mind made altogether too wary, at the doctor's eager presence. "You can't honestly expect me to leave this boy alone with you!" John's voice was incredulous.

"Why not?" Luc asked back his preparations on the syringe complete, "You have every other night."

"I hadn't realised there was no limit to how low you could sink!" the old doctor bristled with anger.

Luc smirked in a truly disturbing way, as he crossed the short distance to Heero's right side. And in one smooth motion, plunged the syringe into the injured pilots arm, injecting its unknown substance into Heero's bloodstream.

"What the hell was that?!" John demanded.

"Just something to keep him from struggling," Luc's voice sounded lazy, as though he were relaxing in the sun with a good book, doing something he really enjoyed. It was a needless blow, Heero already knew even if he had wanted to move, he would have been hard-pressed to do so. His muscles had atrophied, and without a lot of work, he doubted he'd even be able to bring his hand to his face. So why then had Luc needed to at the drug into the equation? "Sally doesn't want any trouble from him."

John's face had gone red with rage at the other doctor's flippant statements; "He couldn't even if he wanted to! There's no point to any of this except to humiliate him!"

"Be that as it may, I'm not about to take any chances with this traitor," Sally's voice broke through the tension with a razor sharp anger, as she walked into the room looking none too pleased about being there.

Heero forced his eyes to focus upon her face, looking to see the changes that three years had wrought upon her. Sure, he had seen her on the news on one or more occasions, and through security surveillance, but nothing could really compare to seeing her in the flesh. Her eyes appeared harder to Heero now. Whether this was the norm or a defensive barrier up because she had been forced to come and see him, Heero couldn't be sure. Sally had walked several steps into the room, and then halted not seeming to want to walk any further. And Heero could feel her eyes upon him, but it was a gaze that never reached his face, and felt as though it didn't even really see him. What she was seeing Heero didn't think he wanted to know.

"This isn't what I had in mind when I asked you to come down here," John spoke finally his voice having regained a measure of calm.

"As I recall you never really asked me down here, John" Sally replied folding her arms across her chest, "Now if you don't mind, we have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you're tired." The last almost sounded to Heero like she was truly concerned about the older doctor's wellbeing, something that fit with the 'Sally' he had once known, but did not quite mesh with what he was witness to now.

John hesitated for a moment, his hand still upon Heero's shoulder, gently squeezing it as though he were trying to impart a measure of reassurance to the former pilot. Heero turned his eyes towards the older doctor, there was no avoiding what was to come, and though he appreciated all that John had done for him thus far, why delay something that could not be stopped? John's features looked truly torn as he stared down at Heero, but finally he nodded his head, and stepped away from the table. Heero watched as he gathered together all that he had brought with him, and slowly walked from the room, casting one last glance Heero's way before the door slid closed.

The moment the click of the lock sounded through the opened room, the entire feel of the air changed, becoming oppressive and dark. Heero felt trapped, far beyond the straps that held him to the table, but now deep within his body, he was held prisoner by whatever drug Luc had given him. He was little more than a bystander as the two doctors set to work, and that complete inability to function scared him more than he would have ever like to admit. For a time it seemed to Heero as though he had been completely forgotten by the two doctors as they busied themselves on the far side of the room preparing everything they'd need to treat his numerous wounds.

At the thought of his injuries, Heero took a moment to look himself over, at least as much as he could in his present position. He had been able to feel the various stabbing pains, and persistent burning, but it had all melded together into one, and he had never really thought before to try and distinguish them all. However, Heero found as he tried to look himself over, he was met with blood at every turn, and it was nearly impossible for him to tell what was injury. Through the corner of his right eye Heero watched Sally and Luc warily. He did not in the least bit like how vulnerable he felt at that moment. And for the first time Heero allowed himself to understand just how hopeless his situation was, everything about this scenario told Heero that Sally was not about to listen to anything he had to say, it was almost as if she didn't even see him there.

Heero tried to steady his breathing as the two doctors finally made their way back over to him, all of their preparations clearly having been completed. Sally and Luc both wheeled small carts laden with their supplies towards him. Luc stopped at Heero's right leg, while Sally made her way over to his left side, choosing the shortest route, behind the injured pilot's head. The fact that it was someone Heero knew and once trusted with his life made it a little easier for him to handle, but he still would have preferred they stay in sight. Heero attempted to do his best to divide his attention between the two of them, but his mind—clouded as it was with both pain and fever—was having a difficult time of it.

The little pops of the snaps that lined Heero's pants drew his attention to his right side, where Luc was tearing the pant leg open in one quick motion. Heero couldn't very well see what it was that the doctor had exposed, but he knew his right leg was a source of a good deal of the pain he was feeling, and had been a target of Luc's torture. It was not long before that same popping sound came from Heero's left, and he tried to jerk away from it, but of course was completely unable to move. Sally had taken hold of the waistband and pulled it apart so she could fold the front of the pants down away from Heero's pelvis. He tired to raise his head to see what it was that Sally was trying to do, but it was a futile effort. Looking into Sally's eyes Heero wanted to shudder, she was not seeing a person, only an object, a thing that she wished didn't even exist.

Searing pain was the next thing Heero's mind registered, as Luc began working away the field dressing that had covered the gash in his leg with hot water and a none-too-gentle touch. Sally also began working at the wad of cloth that had become next best thing to fuse with Heero's pelvis. For a time there was only silence in the room, broken by Heero's hissed breaths. Neither Sally nor Luc had anything to discus as they worked over him, as though he were little more than a broken piece of furniture. It shocked Heero that Sally could be so distant from him, that she could truly appear not to care. However he had never seen her thrown into a situation like this before, so he didn't really have anything to base his opinion on.

A gasp escaped him as a disinfectant was poured over the open gash in Heero's leg, and he thought he saw Luc smirk at the reaction. Heero really would have liked nothing more than to drop his consciousness away from what was happening around him, at least far enough that he wouldn't feel the pain. However as he was, Heero didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from fully plunging into the black abyss, so he held himself back. "There may be a break in his femur, Sally" Luc commented with disinterest, as he began working at stitching the gash.

"Doesn't matter for now," Sally shrugged it off, and Heero was suddenly reminded of times when he and the other pilots had attempted to hide injuries from her. Nothing as significant as a broken leg, but she had hounded them relentlessly until they allowed her to treat whatever was wrong. It had almost become a game, as each pilot tried to conceal their injuries, while the others subtly gave hints in Sally's direction, knowing that someone else would do the same to them in a heart beat. To now have Sally disregard a potential broken leg just slammed home for Heero how far outside his former group of friends he had fallen. Perhaps considering the condition he had been left in for so long, that point should have been clear a good deal earlier, but Heero's mind was always trying to hold out just a little longer on that tiny flame of hope.

Heero watched them through his peripherals, head back and eyes focused on the ceiling. He could not bring himself to close his eyes, but he didn't exactly want to watch them either, it hurt too much to see that look in Sally's eyes. She had obviously been forced to come here, and tend to him, and Heero wondered how long he would have been left like this if John had not intervened. Would they have let his injuries take his life? Or would they finally find a way to come down and take it themselves? Out of the two options Heero knew he'd like the second more than the first, if it had to be that way. He would like to be able to see everyone one last time, before he passed on, it didn't matter to him if it was hatred he saw in their eyes, he just wanted to see them.

"You almost done there Sally?" Luc questioned suddenly, while tapping a thick bandaged over the length of the now stitched gash.

"Almost…" she replied sounding distracted as her hands expertly cut the thread of the stitch she had been working on, and started on the next. "Why what do you need?" Heero's skin was twitching with both the pain, and the nearness of these unwanted hands.

"The puncture wound, I could use some assistance with it," he told her moving towards the specified injury, this put Luc more into Heero's line of sight, and the male doctor sneered in absolute delight. Forced to wait for Sally to complete her task, Luc busied himself with cutting away the blood stained shirt that clothed Heero's upper half. As more and more of his flesh was becoming exposed to the cool air of the room, the Japanese man found shivers running up and down his body, no matter how he tried to stop them. Because of this his breathing became shaky, which only caused further pain to bloom within his chest.

Pain lanced up Heero's arm as Luc released his wrist from the restraint and took hold of the limb right below the break. Try as he might to keep his mind focused, Heero's vision began to grey out, and an almost blissful numbness overwhelmed his body. He was not completely separated from what was happening; he could still feel each stab of pain, each shift of his broken body. Sweat was beading on his face falling into his eyes, but he couldn't feel the sting he knew it should have caused. Heero could feel the swirling void open out beneath him, and for once it was calling to him, and he almost thought to give in, to willingly throw himself to the blackness. However something jerked him back to the present, and the both physical and mental pain that awaited.

Both his arms had been freed from the table's restraints, and Luc was hauling him up to a near sitting position. Heero's eyes squeezed shut against the sudden strain that this put upon his ribs, he couldn't even find the means to draw a breath of air. Slowly the agony receded as Luc readjusted his grip upon Heero, using more of his body to support the injured man rather than simply holding up Heero's arms and letting the rest of him hang. His lungs, burning with his need for air, Heero drew a shallow breath, and forced his eyes to open. Head hanging Heero looked through the very edges of his eyes to see all that had been done to him, in the time he had faded out.

His shirt had been removed, leaving exposed skin to pebble in the cool air as shivers ran down his spin. Glancing to his right Heero noted tiredly that his arm had been fully taken care of. Clean white bandages encircled his upper arm while a plastic brace held his broken bone in place on the lower part. Heero had not been aware that he had lost so much time, when he had faded out, but—he decided—any of this lost was a good thing.

Hands upon his damaged ribcage brought Heero fully back to the present. His eyes focused in on Sally who was bent before him, both hands slowly working a Tensor bandage around his torso. Heero bit the inside of his cheek as Sally pressed each rib back into its place before pulling the bandage tightly over it. Slowly she worked her way up, taking her time, not caring in the least for the pain she was causing. At another time, before all this hatred had been cultivated, Sally would have taken just as much time when binding his ribs, but without the malice it was different. Before she had used the time as a strange form of punishment for ever having allowed himself to get hurt in the first place. Now it felt like something beyond that, something far more sinister, and he would have given anything to see its end.

Finishing with a deliberately slow hand Sally secured the bandage in place and stepped back motioning without a word for Luc to lower him back to the table. Heero watched through lidded eyes, a curtain of pain having draped itself over his mind at the aggravation of all his wounds. His tired mind could only think of one thing to compare what he was feeling too, and that was when he had self-destructed Wing all those years back. He tried to blink away some of the numbness that felt like it was fogging his head, but was met with no success. He was distantly surprised that the pain he had been put through had not been enough to pull him down into the blackness.

Heero thought he might have seen Luc's lips move, but if the doctor had actually spoke, Heero was unable to hear him. However he did see Sally's head nod once in response, and suddenly he wanted to know what it was they had agreed upon. He was feeling severely disadvantaged, being unable to move, and now even hear. To be treated as little more than a thing cut him deeply, in a way he had never expected it to, and suddenly he wanted Sally to leave, feeling as though it would have been better had she not come to him. It was not as if anything had been accomplished by her presence besides furthering his pain. She was not the Sally he had once known, she was the by-product of three years of cultivated bitterness, hatred and misunderstanding. He could not actually expect anything else from her, but that didn't lessen the pain it all caused, and it was harder to force away than the physical.

Heero was yanked back to the present when he felt hands upon his ankles as Sally and Luc released the restraints upon them. His mind screamed at him, but his muscled little more than jerked in response. Whatever Luc had given him it was still working well, he was completely lacking control. Without any obvious hesitation they stripped Heero's last defence from his body, the popping of snaps came quickly and with it a chilled breeze as the last of Heero's flesh was exposed. Sally tore the bloodied and torn pants from the wounded man's body, leaving him naked and vulnerable. Heero wanted to shut away this nightmare but he wouldn't allow them the satisfaction, he merely focused his eyes upon the ceiling as he had been doing earlier, and tried not to think about himself.

It was not that Heero cared for his modesty; that had never been an issue for him since his training for the war. Modesty had almost been trained out of him, as the men in control of his life back then saw it to be a hindrance. It was something else entirely that was biting deeply into Heero, the sense that his last line of defence had been taken from him, that he no longer possessed of shred of armour and he was under attack. He felt weak and altogether too vulnerable, and he hated himself for letting these feelings affect him. Heero wished now that he had accepted John's offer of a painkiller sometime during the night, but that thought only fuelled Heero's self hatred.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity Sally and Luc began to dress Heero as though he were little more than a doll. Pants basically identical to the ones he had been stripped off were slowly drawn up his body, the snaps hanging opened to be closed once everything was in place. Heero hoped they were almost through, and would leave him unattended as they had before. But he doubted after all the bad luck he had been met with that it was going to change anytime soon. He almost wanted to breathe a sigh of relief when he felt the heavy duty straps being secured over his ankles.

He lay there motionless for several minutes, breathing shallowly against the new bindings over his ribs, and willing the aggravated pain to recede. As Sally and Luc appeared to be done, the pain did slowly begin to ebb, now lacking anything to fuel it. Heero found his hearing came back to him as the moments passed, and he let his head drop to the side so he could better see Sally and Luc where they stood off to his left.

Sally stood arms crossed beneath her chest, and he gaze focused away from where Heero lay, her stance just seethed with disgust. "Give him a few moments to recover, and then send them in…" Heero's tired mind heard her words but could not seem to reconcile the threatening tone of her voice with what he hoped the words were to mean. Who was it she was speaking of? Could it be he might be finally given a chance to see the pilots and explain what happened? Heero tried to fight back the hope that was blooming within him, the small rational portion of his brain—far outweighed by the pain and exhaustion—tried to show him the truth of Sally's words to prepare him for the worst.

"Who have you chosen?" Luc questions his voice and expression appearing to be at odds with one another. His face held and eager glow that sent an unwelcome shiver running down Heero's spine, while Luc's tone sounded almost disappointed.

Sally pulled a hand down her face before answering, "Garrison and Josh, they're the best we have at the moment."

One of those names sparked something in Heero's mind, he had heard it before, but where? He tried his hardest to think back but it was not easy, the name kept ringing out in his mind telling him he should know it, so why could he not remember? Had he worked with one of them shortly before this whole mess began? That seemed to be the most familiar…Garrison…that's who he had worked with. And suddenly Luc's previous disappointment became all to clear for Heero. The man was an interrogator, and a damn good one at that. Heero could only assume Josh was the same. This day was not about to get any better…

"Where are you going?" Heero was suddenly pulled back to the here and now, when Luc called back after Sally's retreating back.

"To my room," she replied tiredly without stopping, "I need to wash myself of this event…" Heero felt as though he had been punched in the gut at that blatant statement, he doubted though any of his reaction made it to his face. Slowly Heero was beginning his retreat into a protected part of him mind, where he might just be able to ride out the rest of his life in relative peace.

When the door had closed behind Sally's back, Luc turned his full attention back Heero's way, as he stood a pace or so away from the bed, simply contemplating the wounded pilot. Heero was not all that sure how long Luc stood there, as the seconds dragged into minutes, and for all he could tell they made their way to hours. But finally Luc nodded to himself and following in Sally's invisible footsteps he too made his way to the door. For a few blessed moments Heero was left alone, he thought perhaps he should make an attempt to gather himself, so that he might be prepared for what was to come, but he just couldn't see the point in it any more.

The door opened and two men in uniforms walked through. The first thing Heero took note of was the fact that Luc was not present with them. Had that been agreed upon? Or was Luc on the other side of the door, banging his fists in frustration at being kept away from Heero's pain. Heero hoped it was the latter.

The two men, almost exact opposites in height and build slowly made their way towards him. Garrison, the shorter of the two men with a very stocky build, Heero recognised almost immediately. The other, Josh was a taller man slender in build, but no less tough. It was clear to Heero's eyes that both these men could withstand a strong beating and also deal one out. They carried no equipment with them, but that was really no surprise to Heero. The life of an interrogator was not an easy one, these men were trained to make the toughest men crack by various means. Whether it be mental, physical or physiological, they learned their target's weaknesses and used them against them. In an era of peace most people weren't even aware of these men's existences; they were blissfully unaware and wanted to keep it that way. There had been a great deal of controversy over the training of interrogators, as some of their tactics could be looked upon as less than humane, but they were here, and had helped to secure the peace on more than one occasion.

Considering his condition, their lack of equipment was not surprising. They could not risk using drugs on him, and Luc had already attempted some of their other tactics, though lacking a good deal of their skill. What did that leave? Heero expected pain, but he wondered how far they'd push him, and if he honestly answered the questions would any of what he said make it back to the pilots? Ideally Heero really wanted to be speaking directly to one of the pilots; Wufei, he thought, might be the most receptive to what he had to say. But he doubted that was a viable possibility.

By now the distance had been closed and Heero found one man on either side of him, standing near to his waist, the closeness of their presence a threat in itself. They were of course in no rush, and Heero wondered how long they had been preparing for this. And what this whole situation meant for them. It was not every day that you were given the chance to interrogate a former Gundam pilot, and if you could actually managed to make them break, your reputation would be set. Yet why fight this? What did he have to hide? Nothing, he had everything to gain from speaking, but the question remained would he be believed? The looks in both men's eyes warned Heero that the answer was no, yet perhaps he could work this around to his advantage.

Heero's head was throbbing, and the bright lights above him was doing nothing to ease the gnawing ache. Despite that and the roars of pain from the rest of his body, Heero tried to think to prepare himself. These men did not let the silence linger for long, they knew intimidation wouldn't work on a former pilot, they'd have to use other tactics.

:::::::::::

Quatre pulled a hand down his face as he entered his private quarters that had been the central place he called home before he had been elected President. It had been a long day to say the very least, and he found these debates to be more taxing upon his strength—both emotional and physical—than any of the peace talks had ever hoped to be. But they weren't left with any other options at the moment, this problem had to be solved, and solved in a way that not only satisfied but was legal. A tall order to fill if ever Quatre had seen one.

Sighing in defeat Quatre pushed himself off the door and walked deeper into his rooms. He did not know how much longer he'd be able to stretch the length of his visit here on earth. He and Zechs had almost wrapped up all the honest business that was needed. After that Quatre knew he was going to have to return to the colonies and content himself with continuing the discussion from afar. But being so far off gave Quatre the feeling that what he had to offer was somehow less important, or perhaps not as informed as the ones down on earth with the Traitor.

It occurred to Quatre then that he had not even seen Heero since he had arrived on earth. He had been given a very sparse brief on Heero's condition but that was about all he had been told. At first Quatre had been satisfied with that answer; he had not really wanted to see Heero after all these years, feeling it was best just to come to a conclusion and put this matter behind all of them. However the more Quatre was forced to think on this matter the more he came to realise that he really did want to see with his own eyes the man who had taken a part of all their lives and shattered it.

Pacing the length of his small living room, Quatre raked a hand through his soft blond hair, wondering if he should act on this sudden inclination and go down to see Heero himself. What harm could it do? Quatre found that his pacing had stopped, and he stood in the middle of the room staring at the closed door. He wanted to know why his body was hesitating, this something he had wanted to do for years, to once more see the man who had betrayed them all. Clenching his fist in determination Quatre closed the distance to the door in three long strides.

It didn't surprise him that the hall outside his room was completely empty, it was a restricted area, open to no one other than the pilots, Relena, Sally, Une and Zechs. It was one of the few places that Quatre was able to walk without his security guards following along behind him. Of course despite the security of the agency his bodyguards were not all to pleased with the current situation, but this was one matter that Quatre refused to give ground on. Striding confidently down the hall towards the elevator that would carry him to the more common floors of the agency, Quatre couldn't stop his eyes from roving over the door that had once been Heero's room. None of them had been in there, after their initial investigation had turned up no clues as to why Heero had betrayed them all. It was a painful reminded of better times.

Quatre stepped into the waiting elevator while trying to force those memories away, back to the dark corner of his mind where they had been held all this time. He doubted very much that he'd be able to make them stay, once he was standing facing the very man they revolved around. The ride down was quick and Quatre stepped off without a word to either of his guards. Hesitating a moment Quatre tried to decide which path would be best to take. It wasn't that he feared being seen by the general staff of the agency, yet at the same time he wanted to avoid more public areas. That decided, Quatre moved off down a side hall.

::::::::::::

"The rules are simple," Garrison began, looking over Heero's form; his eyes hooded, revealing nothing. "Tell us what we want to hear, and something may be awarded to you, refuse…" he trailed off eyes flickering to his partner.

"And something will be taken from you," Josh finished voice as harsh as death.

Heero resisted the urge to ask them what they could possibly take. Instead he watched them in silence; not sure if he'd be able to speak even if he truly wanted to. They pressed in closer, if that was possible, looming over him hands hovering close to his vulnerable sides. Heero gave no outward reaction to this silent threat,. He had nothing to hide from them but at the same time this was not the best situation to reveal what had been kept hidden for three years.

"You've made a great deal of enemies over the years," Garrison drawled, his voice sounding relaxed, even when his stance remained threatening. Heero supposed the combination might have appeared unnerving to one other than himself. "They want to know why you tried to kill Relena."

Internally Heero felt himself flinch as the memory of that day was brought back into sharp focus, and he remember everything that had flown through him at that moment. Everything he had watched fall away, all for the sake of the peace. Was this…was what he suffered now a way of making amends for what he had put all of them through?

"Personally, I'd like to know why you missed," the taller man cut through the brief silence. "I've read your file Yuy, you're an expert marksman," Josh casually rested a hand upon the table, leaning just a little closer. Heero was uncomfortable with the invasion of his space, but he continued to silently watch. "So why'd you miss?"

"…didn't…" the word slipped from Heero's mouth in a croak before he had even realised it had entered his mind.

Both men's eyes locked upon each other at that statement, but an instant later they were locked upon him once more, and this time with more intensity. "What the hell do you mean by that?" Garrison pressed, a hopeful glint in the very back of his eyes, at having received any information from the former pilot.

Heero ignored the question, and in the silence that followed the door to the room slid opened causing all eyes to turn, two pairs in outrage at having been interrupted, and the last with a forced curiosity. The shadow in the doorway quickly materialised into a form Heero knew all to well, and suddenly his curiosity was no longer forced. Quatre took one step into the room surveying it with hard eyes, and Heero felt his hopes soar. If any of the pilots was likely to listen to him it would be Quatre. But as with so many other times of late for Heero, reality came crashing in. He had not come here to listen, only to see for himself the Traitor.

Quatre did not move any closer, and he did not open his mouth to speak, his presence within the room was not even enough to warrant a comment from Heero's interrogators. No sooner had he entered, with an iron resolve clear upon his features than he left, with a look of disgust deep in his crystal blue eyes. The door slid closed its lock resounding through the silent room, and Heero felt the walls close in around him. If that brief moment had effect either of the men standing over him they no longer showed it; it was purely back to business.

The true weight of the situation Heero was in, was now beginning to sink in, as the last little hopes he had held onto were being extinguished. If not even Quatre would hear him out was there really any point in holding on any longer? There was a great black abyss beneath Heero that he was fighting not to fall into, and for what? To withstand torture while his friends watched and did nothing to stop it? It wasn't worth the pain, not any more. Yet there was still one thing that forced Heero to keep hold and not give in, the fear that they might discover the truth once he was gone. That wasn't something he wanted, and if keeping them from that pain meant outlasting this existence, Heero would hold himself, and watch for any opportunities to come along.

Heero was vaguely aware that Garrison or Josh was speaking to him again, but his thoughts were turned to inward to really notice which it was, or even what was said. The slightest glint of an idea had entered his mind, perhaps he might be able to bring one of the pilots down here specifically to hear him out. If only he could get a message to them. "…will…speak to…one…of them…" Heero struggled to get the words out, his voice barely discernible, as a dry cough took the wind from him.

When Heero was able to open his eyes as the pain receded, he found Garrison leaning in towards him, as though to better catch what he might say next. "Who's them?"

"Trowa…" the name slipped from his tongue with a gasp, considering Quatre's reaction—as shocking as it was—he didn't think choosing him would anything accomplished. Besides his fevered mind had locked itself upon one specific memory, that might very well make Trowa see this situation in a more understanding light. It was all he had to work with now.

"You're not really in a position to be making demands right now," Josh hissed darkly.

Garrison on the other hand appeared intrigued by where this was going, "You'll speak to Trowa?" he questioned, more of a muse to himself.

"Garrison you're not actually considering this are you?" the taller man straightened to his full height, becoming a more opposing figure, though now it was directed at his partner.

The other man just glanced briefly at Josh before returning his attention back to Heero, "Why Trowa? We were sent here by him to speak to you. Don't you think if he wanted to be the one here he would have been?" Heero made no effort to respond to his questions, only continued to watch through partially closed eyes. "Tell me what you have to say and I'll bring it to Trowa."

Heero gave his head the slightest of shakes, "…won't understand…" he rasped, "Trowa…will." It took so much effort to speak Heero wasn't sure if he managed to pull this off, and Trowa was brought to him that he'd actually be able to tell the former pilot what he wanted to say.

"This is ridiculous!" Josh fumed, bending nearly double to be right in Heero's face, "Tell us what you know! Why did you shoot Relena? Who the hell are you working for?!"

"Tell…him…" Heero was forced to pause to ease his breathing, eyes watching Garrison, or at least as much of him as he could see with Josh so close. "…about time… be..fore…Vayeate… was…" swallowing hard Heero forced himself to get the last word out, "…finished."

"What the hell does that mean?!" Josh was out of Heero's face and staring down his partner.

Garrison shrugged, straightening to his full height almost half that of Josh's, his face contemplative. "I suppose it'll mean something to Trowa…"

Josh shook his head in utter disbelief, "I can't believe this! Since when have we ever done what the 'target' wanted?"

"What do we have to lose?" Garrison's expression was still thoughtful as he relaxed back onto one leg, "He's volunteering to speak." His brown eyes fixed onto Heero, "I'll bring your message to Trowa, but if he chooses not to come, you're speaking to us."

Heero gave no response, feeling no need to tell them that if Trowa didn't come—as unlikely as that seemed—he wouldn't be talking at all. Josh didn't seem in any way ready to back down from this fight, but it appeared that Garrison being the more experienced interrogator was therefore the one to call the shots. Watching in silence as the men left the room, Heero internally breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be alone, given a moment of peace where he was not being threatened. For the first time that day since John had been forced to leave, Heero found himself actually relaxing, his body going limp relieving some of the pain he had been struggling with.

The silence in the room was absolute leaving Heero nothing to do but try without much success to predict the path his meeting with Trowa would have. He did not want to get his hopes up considering the way they had been torn from beneath him so many times already. But despite his best efforts they continued to climb the more he considered his choices, and what his message would hopefully convey to Trowa. During the war Trowa had switched sides without warning them of his plans, and Heero had trusted his judgement, he only hoped he might be able to get Trowa to see matters in the same light.

Thinking on that subject Heero also noted that Wufei had worked in much the same way, however his taking of the other side had not been to benefit the efforts for peace. He had truly thought the redirect of Mariemaia to be the right course. But that didn't matter he had asked for Trowa, and if he couldn't get him to listen there wasn't any point in holding on any longer. Heero knew he wouldn't be given another chance.

No longer really aware of the passage of time, Heero couldn't even begin to guess how much time had passed since the interrogators had left. He didn't think it could be all that much longer now for them to return or for Trowa to come walking through that door. This would be the first time in three years that Heero had been able to come face to face with the former pilot of Heavyarms. Just thinking of it in that way caused Heero's hopes to rise. He tired to use this time to recover some of his strength, so that when Trowa did appear, he'd actually be able to talk.

The metallic clink of the lock giving way rang out through the silence of the room announcing the presence of someone before the door even began to slide open. Heero found himself holding his breath, and not simply because it hurt to breathe. In his anticipation it seemed to Heero as though the door was taking and amazing amount of time open the way to whoever was standing on the other side, though he knew it was only a matter of a few brief heartbeats before Trowa was standing upon the threshold of the room, cold green eyes staring inward.

Trowa stepped deeper into the room, face an unreadable mask as he came to stand within a few feet of the table Heero was strapped too. The injured pilot felt shivers of anticipation course over his body, as he waited in the tense silence for the right opening. Trowa was here but that was only the beginning.

"What is it you want?" Trowa began his voice as emotionless as Heero had ever remembered it. "Are you trying to tell me you'll surrender? Because we're a little past that now."

The hidden tone of his voice had Heero a little worried, but there was no turning back now, there was nothing to return too. "I trusted…you…enough…then…to…sur…render&# 8230;" another dry cough tore through Heero's already parched throat and he could not continue for several minutes. "…trust…me…now?"

There was no hesitation to Trowa's answer, and nothing on his face changed as he spoke just a single word "No."

The effect of that single word hit Heero in a way he had not been prepared for, no matter how he had tried he had been sure Trowa would hear him out. Now to have it thrown fully into his face Heero didn't know what there was left to hope for out of his merger existence. But the former pilot was not yet finished. "Do you think for one minute after what you've done that you deserve any sort of mercy from us? Do you even realise what you've done to Relena? You nearly destroyed her life that day! The only thing you can do for us now is die, and end this chapter in all our lives." The last of that was said as Trowa turned back towards the door.

Heero was stunned, at the intensity Trowa had managed to give off without raising his voice, and he words struck Heero to his very core. A warm wetness tracked its way down the right side of Heero's face, but he could not bring himself to think on it any more that just a passing thought. Trowa was right, there was nothing left for Heero, neither to say or hope for, his old life was gone, and it was clear there would be no returning to it. The blackness called to him, and Heero welcomed its void. He no longer cared what happened to him at the hands of Luc or the interrogators, whether they came in and killed him in the next minute or hours, nothing matter any more. Everything had been taken from him. Yet through it all Heero forced himself to remember, that this was his choice, and in the end it was his hand that brought this upon himself.

Heero let himself fall into the waiting blackness, no longer able to see the room around him or feel the pain that assaulted him every waking moment. His eyes remained opened, though lacking the light of conscious thought. He did not blink or respond to outside sources, he was hidden away in the last safe place, awaiting the end he knew would be coming soon.

Thanks for Reading!

Picking Up the Pieces:

Heero blinked several times, staring at John's face, was he actually being given the chance to speak? To tell his side of the story? What truly happened. It was almost too much to hope for, and Heero wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to take the chance, what difference would it make? Could John do anything to effect change? Heero had not been expecting to be given this opportunity he hadn't even been expecting to wake again. He had allowed himself to fall into a place only Relena had ever managed to pull him out from, so why had he fallen into that dream? And then allowed himself to wake when John had called out his name?

He didn't possess any of the answers to his questions, but looking at John now, Heero saw the outlet to what he was feeling. To the burden he had carried alone for too long, John was a man he could trust, Heero had known that from the moment he had first met him. There was just something about the old man, that relaxed Heero's warrior instincts allowing him to feel truly at ease, something he had only been able to feel while around the pilots and Relena. He took a moment to gather himself before he tired to speak, there was just so much to say, and though he had been envisioning this moment for a long time, he still found himself caught unprepared.

"Had to…make them believe…" he began finally looking to John's face briefly before glancing at the water in his hand. John picked up on the subtle request immediately, and Heero allowed the cool refreshing water to trickle down the back of his throat, putting out the fire that raged there.

"What do you mean Heero?" John's face looked more than a little perplexed.

"I…would never…shoot her…" it frustrated Heero that he couldn't speak without nearly gasping for breath, but he continued despite the pain and seemingly daunting task of making the old doctor understand. "Inner Circle…they're a group…who…" Heero's words were ripped from him with a dry painful cough.

"Want to destroy the peace?" John supplied clearly hoping to help.

"Something…like that…" the former pilot spoke when at last he could breath again.

John's eye brows raised at that, "Why have I never heard of them before?"

"Not like…most…groups, they…scarifies…speed for secrecy…" they had been able to slip under the radar as little more than a fleeting rumour, all the while gaining strength and power.

The old doctor seemed to be really mulling over this, "So you wanted to bring them down…" it was neither a question nor statement of fact, just Johns musing gaining voice.

Heero nodded his head to what John had said, "But couldn't so long as…I was a…member of…"

"Relena's security," John finished with his eyes going wide. "Are you telling me that this was all an elaborate plan?"

"Wouldn't shoot her…" Heero reiterated

"So how then?"

Morganeth Taren'drel