Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ Checkmate ( Chapter 38 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing!

Checkmate

Ash looked down at his sleeping friend, still feeling dazed that he was standing in this room looking at the very man he had thought was dead. He had hardly recognised Heero when he had walked through the door. Heero had always been a lean, solidly built man, but still very small. He wasn't even half the man he used to be, and it was obvious to Ash that it bothered Heero a great deal. There were new scars on his face and like his hand, Ash wondered how they had happened. He hadn't really been thinking clearly enough back when he saw the x-rays to notice all the injuries John had been pointing out. He wondered what all the blankets were hiding from his view.

After placing the now empty container on the counter John motioned for Ash to take a seat at the far end of the room, where a plush couch and two comfortable looking arm chairs sat around a coffee table. Ash did as instructed, taking a seat in one of the armchairs while John dropped down across from him on the couch. “What exactly is wrong with him?” Ash asked quietly, his hazel eyes gazing in Heero's direction.

“He's been laid up for a long time, and his muscles have atrophied, right now we're just focusing on getting him to put on a little weight.” John too looked towards the bed, and Ash could see in the old man's eyes just how much Heero had come to mean to him. It amazed him: he had watched Heero interact with several doctors during the time he was with the Japanese man, and it had never been anywhere close to this. “His injuries are healing well, but it's going to take a lot of physical therapy to get him back on his feet again.”

Ash could only imagine what sort of mood that must have put Heero in, knowing how far away you were from where you used to be. After being so independent to now have to rely on others for every little thing, it was no wonder Heero seemed put out, but that wasn't it entirely. There was something more to it all, and Ash hoped to be able to find out. “Is it hard for you to see him like this?” John asked him suddenly.

Ash blinked, he hadn't even realised his eyes had returned to Heero, “A little,” he began forcing his attention to John. “I've seen him in similar situations before, but never to this extent.”

“I can tell you honestly he looks a lot better now than he did a month ago,” John himself looked relieved even as he said it.

A silence fell between them neither awkward nor particularly comfortable. Ash felt it might be a good time to ask his questions about Heero. “Can you tell me why Heero's not acting like his normal self?” John raised an eyebrow at that and Ash realised that there could be any number of reasons, but there was a chance that John didn't know what normal was. “I spent three years with Heero, times like these where I'd be poking and prodding him he'd have no trouble telling me to go to hell,” Ash shook his head, “But he wouldn't today.”

The old doctor appeared to consider the question. “The only thing I can think of is he's been having to be really careful what he says around the others. It's all really…” his eyes searched out the ceiling as he tried to find the right word.

“Ridiculous,” Ash offered, “I know just how much he missed them while he was away, why is it so hard for all of them now?”

John sighed heavily, “A lot of things were said and done before they realised what the actually truth of the situation was.” He folded his hands before him, “It's been hard for all of them to deal with the guilt of their actions.”

Ash leaned back in the plush chair, once more looking at Heero, “I guess I'll just have to do something about that…” that drew a smile onto John's face.

“Good luck to you,” he said with a quiet laugh, but he very quickly became serious again, “You have no fear prodding Heero to the breaking point?”

“Apparently I lack any sense of self preservation.” Ash said dryly.

John laughed softly, “You might be able to do a great deal of good. His patience is slipping, and I don't blame him for it. The problem is he just keeps all his frustration inside.”

“Heero never was an expressive person,” Ash had been forced to fight tooth and nail for anything from his friend, and Heero had soon learned that no amount of threats would throw Ash off the trail.

“No, I realise that,” John agreed leaning forward in his seat, “But if you might be able to get him to vent, it could make relations with the others easier. It's bad enough when they have to try and deal with their own guilt, they don't need him frustrated at the same time,” John looked sadly towards the bed, and Ash wondered how this relationship had formed.

“I'll do the best I can,” he promised now that he knew Heero was alive Ash fully intended to do all he could for his friend even if John had not asked him. “Tell me,” his words brought John's attention back, “How did he come to trust you?”

“Heero's not a big fan of doctors, I take it?” John asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Or anyone for that matter,” Ash returned with a crooked smile.

John chuckled at that, it only lasted for a second however, “I entered his life when he really needed someone to believe him…” he trailed off and seemed to be searching for the right word. “I'm not sure why he puts up with me now that his friends understand what really happened, I'm just glad he does. I suppose I'm a little too emotionally involved now to walk away.”

“All those months of thinking he was dead…” Ash began raking a hand through his hair, “I'm just relieved to know he had people like you around him.” He had never wanted to believe that Heero had actually died, but he had seen his friend so close to that edge before as time continued to pass it had begun to look more real, although still something he'd have never been able to fully accept.

The old doctor smiled and shifted to the edge of his seat preparing to stand, “You and Dante will be on Earth for the entirety of the conference, so I'd suggest you get some sleep so you can come see Heero tomorrow.”

Ash nodded his head slowly, having been slowly feeling more and more tired as the adrenaline from his meeting with both Duo and Heero began to wear off. As Dante had pointed out earlier that evening he hadn't been sleeping properly, he thought tonight might be the first night he actually slept well. Reaching into his pocket and removing a pen, Ash took hold of a pad of paper and wrote down a number before pushing it towards John. “That's my cell number, if anything happens to him give me a call?”

“I don't think there's really anything to worry about at moment,” John said taking the sheet of paper off the pad, “But I'll keep this close at hand just in case,” he assured with a smile.

“Thanks,” Ash stood and reached out a hand, which John accepted as he too came to his feet.

“Have a good night,” John bade as Ash slowly walked towards the door.

He came to a stop at the foot of Heero's bed just looking at his friend etching his image into his mind. It wasn't that he wanted to forever remember this Heero that was laying on the bed before him, Ash just wanted to assure himself that the Japanese man was indeed alive, and this wasn't some dream that he'd wake from. Offering John a wave and a smile, Ash finally was able to walk out the door reluctantly leaving Heero behind.

Ash stood in the hallway for a few minutes wondering where Dante had gone off too, and just how he was supposed to find his way out of here. When Une had led him to this portion of the agency, he had not really been focusing on the details of how they had got here. Sighing Ash just walked back towards the elevator figuring he could wander the halls and at some point either find his way out or someone who could point him in the right direction.

“Ash, hold up!” a familiar sounding voice called from behind him, and Ash turned to see Duo striding up behind him.

The sight of the braided man brought back the memories of their first meeting, and Ash dropped his eyes as Duo came close. “Look…I'm sorry about earlier…”

“Don't worry about it, you're just keeping up the usual way we make friends,” Duo commented dryly with a tiny smile on his face. “C'mon I'll show you the way out, Dante's already left for the night.” Ash followed behind the American relieved that his earlier actions could be so easily forgotten, so now he could focus on helping Heero get better, and helping his friends ease up around him. Already his tired mind was thinking of ways to do just that.

WMWMWMW

Heero rose from the blackness of sleep to be greeted with pain, a sharp pounding in his head, behind his right eye, and a burning fire in his chest every time he took a breath. Laying there feeling trapped within a motionless body Heero hoped the pain would lessen a little so that he might be able to take a fuller breath, and think a little clearer. Opening his eyes Heero winced at the lights even dimly lit as they were they felt like the stabbed directly into the back of his brain. A shadow loomed over him shielding his eyes and offering him some much needed relief. Internally he jumped at the sudden presence, but managed to remain outwardly uncaring, a fact he was rather proud of as he had almost immediately recognised who it was standing over him.

The old doctor settled down on the bed beside him, and as Heero's eyes slowly focused he could see a caring smile on John's face. It was still to this day an expression Heero was not accustom to seeing, he wondered if he'd ever become used to someone caring about him. “You should still be asleep,” he said quietly, gently taking hold of Heero's wrist to check his pulse.

Heero didn't say anything in response just tried to shift to find a more comfortable position, but nothing was less painful now. “Heero are you in a lot of pain?” John asked his concern clear in his voice.

“I'm alright,” Heero responded remaining still eyes half closed to block out the dim hallow of light around John's form. It was second nature to brush off how he was actually feeling, so much so that he no longer even really thought about it, the answer just slipped out. Ash would be in for some frustration when next he came in asking how Heero was doing.

“You're lying,” John told him quietly, “Even if I couldn't see it on your face when you woke, you're pulse is racing.” He leaned in closer appearing to try and better see Heero's eyes, “Why not just say so?”

“Why ask if you already knew?” Heero deflected the question with one of his own, and turned his head away.

“Because I'd like to think you'd be able to admit your pain to me,” his voice sounded hurt, and Heero actually felt a pang of regret at having caused it. The realisation rather shocked him, never before had he really cared for the feelings of others, besides Relena's but even her feelings he had been able to force himself to ignore, as he had done that November day over three years ago. John didn't say any more, but rather sighed and stood. Heero watched him from half opened eyes, as the old doctor prepared a syringe with some form of painkiller inside. He administered the drug with professional ease, and returned to his seat waiting for it to take effect.

Heero could almost feel an immediate change in his body, the fire in his chest slowly abated and he was able to draw a fuller breath without feeling like he was being stabbed a dozen times. The pain in his head also lessened but did not disappear but at least he was better able to look around him and see John. “Heero, there's something I've wanted to ask you since I met with Ash earlier,” John's expression was more serious that Heero remembered ever seeing it before, and he was fairly sure he wasn't going to like the direction of this conversation.

“What brought him here?” that was a question of his own he had wanted answered, and if it put off what John had on his mind, perhaps even help him forget than it was a good thing.

“A couple of weeks back Une was contacted by Dante who wanted to get some closure for Ash. He was not handling the news of your death all that well.” His steady gaze watched Heero the entire time, “I was asked to explain to Ash how you had died, and in return they were to give us any information they had on the time you spent with them. I have to tell you a lot of us are curious to know how you spent you time, and not just because we hoped it might yield some further connections to the Inner Circle.”

“You know, you could have just asked…” Heero told him bluntly, it bothered him that they had been searching for information about him behind his back.

“Perhaps, but you haven't been feeling all that talkative this last little while, and as things stands we've already spoken with Ash and Dante, so there's really no going back.” Something about this was really bothering John, but he had yet to come out and say it, which was annoying Heero. He wanted to know the point of this conversation. “What I wanted to ask you about was, your infrequent abuse of alcohol,” John finally told him.

Heero's eyes fell closed, damn he thought darkly, if he could have kept anything from them it would have been that. “It's not that serious,” he said emotionlessly opening his eyes again to look at John.

“Not that serious!” John was shocked but he kept his voice down, “How can you say that? You suffered Alcohol Poisoning twice, once almost dying from it. That sounds pretty serious to me!”

Three times actually Heero thought to himself remembering the very first time, it had not been that serious but he had been sick from it. It wasn't however, something he was going to admit to John. Releasing a pent up sigh he looked directly into John's worried brown eyes, “Is it really that unexpected considering the situation?” he asked him pointedly. “I was hated by everyone,” Ash had been a friend but he hadn't been able to understand exactly what was happening. “I was in deep cover for three years, you expect anyone to get through that without a couple of issues?”

John seemed to think that over for a time, “I guess not…” he admitted finally, “You can't blame me for being concerned though, I'd really rather not see this as your normal way of dealing with problems.”

“Sometimes that's the only solution there is,” Heero spoke quietly remembering the nightmares that he couldn't escape any other way. He had been spared them for the moment, when he was sleeping he was either too drugged to dream or not sleeping deeply enough. Heero wasn't looking forward to the first night they returned, alcohol wasn't always the answer, but when nothing else worked at least it was something to turn to.

“Why Heero? I won't accept that,” John said with a shake of his head.

Heero wanted to tell him it wasn't his place to accept it or not, but he knew what John was talking about, for most people there were other options, safer choices. “Because I won't talk to people,” there was a clear note of finality in his voice, as much as he was talking to John was more than he had ever envisioned himself ever opening up to someone.

“Will you talk to me?” Heero looked away, that wasn't a question he wanted to or was able to answer. “You know I won't pretend like nothing's wrong,” John continued softly. Heero didn't respond to that either, he didn't have to, he already knew that's what John was like. The old doctor gently patted Heero's arm, “Get some sleep,” he stood and moved towards the door. Heero watched him go in silence before closing his eyes, sleep was not hard for him to find, his body was still tired and the pain medication had a tendency to make him sleepy. Once more Heero's mind dropped into the blackness.

WMWMWMW

Ash rode the elevator alone, holding a box in his hands, and trying to fight back the need to yawn. It was early evening of the next day. Ash had been taken to his rooms in the palace by Duo the night before, but had found it almost impossible—despite his exhaustion—to sleep. His mind had been racing. Heero was alive, and that was all he could think about until close to four in the morning. He had slept some but it was off and on, way more frustrating that restful. Ash had spent some time speaking with Dante before his friend had to leave for the conference, but that had still left him with most of the day to kill. He very much wanted to go see Heero, but thought his friend deserved a more coherent person, so he had attempted to get a little more sleep.

Stepping off the elevator Ash strode towards Heero's room, pleased that he had been able to pay attention enough last night to remember how to get back. Duo had also given him the code to Heero's door, with a strong reminder to knock first. As much as Ash thought that was just common courtesy, he knew there was something else behind it, but had not been given the chance to ask. Shifting the box he was carrying to one arm Ash knocked on the door before punching the code. Heero was watching the door as Ash walked into the room, the sight of him was still a shock to Ash but he kept it from his face.

“Even' Heero, how're you feeling?” he asked with a smile as he walked into the room placing his package down on the table that could swing over Heero's bed.

Heero opened his mouth quickly most likely to give his usual answer, but Ash smiled widely, “I'm in the room, my rule stands,” he waited eagerly to see if Heero would play along, and if so what his answer would be.

“No problem,” Heero said after a moment looking rather pleased with himself.

Ash heaved a sigh, “Looks like I'm going to have to amend the rule again…” he dropped down into the chair, watching as Heero rolled his eyes. “Hey I'm a stubborn man, and when I ask a question I want a useful answer.”

Heero shook his head, “It's the truth.”

“And you're a liar,” Ash retorted with a laugh.

“What's in the box?” Heero asked, smoothly changing the subject his eyes looking at the indicated item.

Ash smiled happily, pulling the table over the bed so it was right in front of Heero, “This would be a gift.” His smile only widened when he saw the surprise on Heero's face, and he reached out to open the box, and pull out what was kept inside. “It's a chess board, I thought we could play a game or two,” Ash removed the fancy-looking box and unfolded it, revealing the actual game board from either side he removed a small drawer where the pieces were kept. “White or black?” he asked moving the board a little closer to Heero.

The Japanese man just shrugged his eyes still looking impressed and pleased, “Alright then, we'll do this the old fashioned way.” Ash reached into each drawer and removed a pawn, placing his hands behind his back, Ash tossed the pawns back and forth until he didn't know which was which, and then held his hands out before him, “Pick one.”

“Left hand,” Heero said not moving, Ash complied opening his hand to reveal the back pawn, he placed it upon the board along with his own and proceeded to set it up. He hoped Heero would try and move his own pieces during the game, it would be good for his arm.

Setting up the last few pieces Ash moved to sit on the edge of Heero's bed pushing the table to within easy reach. “Do you remember the first time we played this game?” he asked watching Heero whose cobalt eyes had been studying the chest board.

Heero looked up at Ash then, his head ever so slowly shaking, “No…” he drew the word out as though he were still trying to remember.

Ash laughed, “Can't say I'm surprised you were a little far gone that night,” that drew a raised eyebrow from his friend so Ash decided to clarify. “It happened after a night of heavy drinking,” on Heero's part that was, but there was no reason to point that out, “You were being difficult didn't want to do what was good for you so I suggested a challenge.” As Ash spoke he took hold of one of the pawn and moved it forward, the game was on.

“The deal was for each piece of yours I captured, you had to drink some water,” Ash smiled at the sceptical look on his friends face as Heero brought his unsteady left arm up to move a piece of his own, he chose a knight. Ash wonder silently why Heero never used his right, he was right handed after all, perhaps that arm hidden beneath the blankets was more battered than his left, which was just sporting that scar. “You weren't that keen on the idea, so I sweetened the deal a little, for every piece of mine that you caught I'd take a shot of vodka,” he chuckled softly making his next move.

“Who won?” Heero asked moving a pawn, before resting his arm back on the table so he wouldn't have so far to go for the next time. He was doing very well so far, Ash watched through the corner of his eyes as Heero's hand flexed on the table like he as trying to loosen it up, or get more blood to flow to it.

“I did,” he said with a cheeky smile, before Heero could ask how Ash explained “You were so far gone already you didn't even notice I was taking shots of water same as you.”

Heero rolled his eyes, “Who won the game?”

Ash opened his mouth to answer but stopped thinking back, “I think it somehow managed to be a draw…” he laughed resting his head on his left arm which he propped on the table, “Doesn't really matter now, I got what I wanted.”

The Japanese man just shook his head, but Ash thought he saw a ghost of a smile touch his lips as he did. A knock on the door broke the few seconds of tentative silence that had fallen over the room, and Ash turned towards the door to watch a Chinese man walk through it, carrying a similar container John had the night before. Ash recognised the man as Chang Wufei though he had never been formally introduced. Wufei's onyx eyes took in the sight before him, and he immediately looked pleased as he crossed over to Heero's bedside, appearing to be more interested in examining the board that his friend laying in the bed.

He looked up suddenly blinking at Ash, before a neutral expression took over his face and he extended a hand to Ash, “You must be Ash.”

The hazel eyed man smiled accepting the hand, “And you would be Chang Wufei.”

“Just Wufei will do,” the Chinese man corrected.

Ash nodded his head at that as he captured a pawn from the board and placed it off to the side casting a pleased smile Heero's way before he returned his attention to Wufei. He had noticed something almost the minute the Chinese man had walked into the room, he was not as tense as Duo had been. It made Ash wonder why it was different for him, he doubt it was just because Wufei was a stronger man, all the pilots had been strong both during the war and after. Perhaps he'd be able to find out if Wufei hung around for a while.

“I've brought your food,” Wufei said putting the container down on the edge of the table.

Heero's dark eyes glanced towards if but only for a second, “Not hungry,” he said simply as he moved his knight and captured a pawn of his own.

“A good thing I didn't ask if you were, wouldn't you say?” he questioned dryly. The Japanese man didn't respond to that just watched the chess board waiting for his turn.

“We can pause the game if you want.” Ash offered, watching his friend closely.

Heero's eyes flickered up to Ash before returning to the board, “I don't.”

Ash glanced between the two men, feeling a tension forming but it wasn't the same as had been there with Duo. Wufei planted his feet, looking to Ash and just nodded his head, “Don't worry he knows I'm not leaving until he's eaten.” Wufei's expression was firm, and Ash found himself liking the Chinese man, this was very much the attitude he would have had, had Heero been in his care. Wufei strode around the bed to the chair Ash had vacated awhile before and dropped down into it, watching the two of them in a relaxed manor.

Heero looked less than pleased but he said nothing not looking away from the chess game, “Can I ask how you two first met?” Wufei inquired after a couple of silent moments of observation.

A smile broke out on Ash's face as he looked first to the Chinese man and then to Heero, “Do you want to tell the story?” he asked receiving a glare for his troubles, but he had seen enough of Heero's glares to know there was no fire behind it. “Well,” he said turning his attention to Wufei, “The first time I saw Heero was in a bar, he was sitting in the very back glaring death at the world.” Ash tilted his head towards Heero, and nodded “Much like he's doing now.”

That drew a chuckle from Wufei, “It's your move,” Heero pointed out calmly.

Ash blinked, “It is?” he smiled apologetically and picked up one of his pieces, seemingly at random, and moved it before turning his attention back to Wufei. “No one was going anywhere near him, so I decided to…I think I was a little drunk at the time, so that probably helped.” This time the chuckle actually came from Heero, as the Japanese man slowly shook his head. “He hadn't much been in the mood for talking so I took his glares as responses, I'd rate them as they came and decide where to go from there.” Ash smiled fondly at the memory, he had had no idea at the time just how much baggage Heero had been carrying, just what all he had actually been getting himself into. Looking back and knowing all that he did now, and all that he had had to endure Ash knew he would have approached that silent hurting man in a heartbeat.

“The job Heero had on the colony put him into almost direct contact with Dante, at least through me,” Ash continued splitting his attention between the man he was talking to and the game he was attempting to win. “It didn't take long for us to realise that Heero had more talents than just creating software and electronic devices, he helped on several occasions to complete minor missions given out by Dante.”

Wufei's expression was pleased as his gaze switched between the two of them, and even Heero looked as though he had relaxed some. Ash could almost say Heero was enjoying the conversation. Ash took hold of one of Heero's bishops and placed it along with the others he had captured. so far the game was even, and Heero was still working at moving his pieces on his own, a fact which pleased Ash tono end. “So how did you meet Heero?” Ash returned the question.

“Hn,” Wufei leaned back in the chair crossing his arms over his chest, “'Fraid my stories not nearly so interesting, I spent most of the war fighting alone, I think the longest time we spent together before we all joined forces was when we had both been caught by OZ.” A rather evil smile touched upon his features then, “That doesn't mean I don't have my fair share of fun stories about him, fighting with, against,” he smiled a little “Around each other.”

Ash blinked at that feeling as though something in the back of his mind had been triggered by something in what Wufei had said, it was something he had heard about in the news. Chang Wufei had been shot twice by an unknown assailant, Heero had appeared back on the colony with a bullet in his shoulder. Ash rubbed at his temple, “I take it this shooting each other is a regular thing?” he asked surprisingly dryly

“We try to keep it as infrequent as possible,” Wufei corrected in a disturbingly offhand way looking completely serious as he did.

Ash was sure his expression was stunned. “Just for special occasions” Heero said quietly, and looked at Wufei a bright light in his eyes as though something had just occurred to him.

“What sort of a messed up friendship is this?” Ash shook his head, he had thought the relationship he had with Heero was weird but it was nothing compared to this.

Heero shrugged his left shoulder, “It's your move, and you're in check.”

“What?” Ash looked at the board, “When did that happen?” he had been watching the game with as much of his attention that he could spare, but Heero's attack had managed to slip pass his notice. Ash tried to focus a little more on the game, if only for a moment, but his thoughts kept turning over what he had been told and the look on Heero's face. It occurred to him that despite what might have happened between this group of friends over the last few years they had potentially been through worse, and there was no reason why they wouldn't be able to get over it in time. Ash studied Heero's face, his friend was watching the board waiting for Ash to move, and he wondered if that was what had struck Heero. He doubted asking would get him an answer.

“Ash isn't your real name,” Wufei said breaking the silence again, onyx eyes studying Ash intently.

Ash smiled a little at that. “No, it's not,” he used it so much often he found himself forgetting.

“We figured that was the case when our searches couldn't turn up anyone with any variation of that name that matched your description,” Wufei commented with a half smile. “What is your real name?” he asked cocking his head to one side.

“Ummm…” Ash gave a small laugh, “Can we just leave it at Ash?”

That only made Wufei more curious, his gaze turned to Heero, “Do you know?”

“Never cared,” Heero replied without interest, his cobalt eyes settling on Ash, “Check.”

“Damn,” Ash shook his head, he'd lost this game at some point, something he didn't intend to do again. “I will win one with you sober,” he said seriously, drawing a look of question from Wufei, and a smirk from Heero.

WMWMWMW

Heero lay on his bed feeling restless, unable to sleep, but not in a position to do anything else other than lay there staring at nothing. He had really enjoyed the time Ash had spent in his room along with Wufei earlier that day. It had been a welcomed change and distraction from the usual tediousness. Heero had won the game of chess, and in doing so had really left himself no other option but to eat the food Wufei had brought. Not feeling at all hungry Heero had focused more of his attention on the game of chess Wufei and Ash played, just enjoying the playful banter he had missed for so long. Ash had fit right in, as though he had been with them through it all, he hoped it would be the same with the others.

A very soft knock on the door brought Heero back to the boring present and he watched as the metal door slid aside revealing Trowa who quietly walked in. He had been coming frequently during the nights, Heero had been able to give Trowa John's usual schedule of appearances so that Trowa could avoid being seen. It was the way Heero wanted it, even if it didn't mean anything in the long run, he had a little control he was the only one who knew Trowa was coming.

“How long have you been awake?” Trowa ask walking deeper into the room.

Heero's eyes didn't look at the clock but rather the day calendar, John had been in at midnight to change it to the eleventh of June, “A while,” he said finally, it had been roughly an hour since then.

“You should get some sleep,” the former pilot pointed out lowering himself into the chair preparing himself to just be there, standing guard over his friend.

“Not tired,” he countered in all honestly, had he been able to get up, he probably would have been training or at the very least pacing across the spacious room. It stung a little deeper now that he was unable to do just that.

“I'm sure John would have been able to give you something…” Trowa ventured though by the sound of his own voice he already knew what Heero's answer to that would be.

“I don't want that,” Heero confirmed with a sigh.

Trowa leaned forward in the chair, “I'll work with you for a little while, but one way or another you're going to have to get some sleep tonight.”

He wanted to protest that, tell Trowa he didn't intend to take orders, but he knew if he disagreed Trowa would just sit there. Right now anything was better than nothing, so he nodded his head in agreement. Trowa gave his head a quick nod and stood from his seat, walking back around the bed he pulled the blankets away from Heero's left leg. Reaching down he gently lifted the limb and began rotating Heero's ankle carefully working the stiffness from the joint. He had been doing this off and on for a few nights working each joint then applying a little pressure to the leg asking Heero to push back as much as he could.

It was an incredibly slow process, but it was all Heero could do at the moment, and it felt good to even be doing this. The joints hurt to move, they had been almost completely motionless for far too long, going on five months, but with Trowa's continuous work it was getting easier. Trowa adjusted his grip on Heero's leg, pressing the bottom of the foot to his chest. Heero's entire focus now was on pushing against Trowa's chest, his leg quivered with the effort, and his ribs burned with his deep intake of breath. Trowa let up for a minute giving Heero a chance to breathe normally, “What's this?” he asked out of the blue, his emerald eyes focusing on something resting on the table.

Heero looked over in the direction Trowa had been focused on and found Ash's gift sitting in the center of the table they had used to play their game. “Chess set,” he told his friend quietly, “A gift from Ash.”

“He was a close friend while you were away?” it was not an easy question for Trowa to ask, but it was clearly something he wanted to know.

At first Heero only nodded his head, as Trowa began applying pressure to his leg again, but as his friend let up he was able to say a little more, “He thought it was his job to make sure I lived,” he spoke in dry tones his expression a little amused.

“Somebody has to do it,” Trowa said watching his friend from the edge of his visible eye, and he put Heero's leg down and covered it with the blanket. “Who won?” was his next question, as he stepped around the bed to Heero's right side and removed the blankets.

“I did,” Heero's lips twitched into a partial smile, “Ash was distracted by Wufei.”

“Sharing stories?” Trowa asked his eyebrow rising.

“Yeah…” Heero knew had Trowa been there he would have been sharing right along with them. The Japanese man watched carefully as Trowa took hold of his right leg, this one hurt more to move and work with as there was a still healing fracture somewhere in the upper part of his femur. But Trowa was carefully and the pain wasn't enough to stop Heero, he wanted to be back on his feet no matter how much pain was involved.

Trowa worked in silence for a time, his focus appearing to be on what he was doing, while Heero's was directed at his breathing. When he was given a chance to relax, Heero looked up to find Trowa's steady gaze fixed on him, “Have you eaten tonight?” he asked starting to work Heero's right knee a little more.

“Haven't been hungry,” he said with a shake of his head, he knew that wasn't the answer Trowa wanted to hear, but right now he didn't really care.

“You need to eat,” it was just a statement of fact, and Heero know it was all Trowa would say for now. If Heero were to continue not eating he knew Trowa would stop working with him, not something he wanted.

Both their heads jerked towards the door when a soft knock announced someone coming through the door. Trowa was half out of his chair when John walked into the room, but it was too late, the old doctor stopped a few steps into the room taking in the sight before him. He didn't look all that surprised to see Trowa standing there beside Heero, “You tampered with the camera?” his eyes flickered to the mentioned item secured in the far corner of the room. Silence was his response as Trowa slowly sat back down, “Was that really necessary?”

Neither Heero nor Trowa answered that question as John walked over to Heero's bedside, “Why didn't you just tell me?” Heero looked away from John, he couldn't put into words why he had needed to keep this secret so much. Through the corner of one eye, he thought he saw John smile, “It's alright I think I understand…” he settled himself on the edge of Heero's bed and looked to Trowa. “You were the one to bring him the gun?” it wasn't really a question, it made sense that it would have been Trowa. when John found the weapon more than a week back he had asked where it had come from but Heero had refused to say.

Trowa nodded his head in response, but remained silent.

“How long have you been coming?” he asked then.

“A little more than a week,” Trowa admitted.

John nodded still not looking all that surprised, “A while back I had thought it was odd that every time I came into your room you were awake. It happens sometimes but not that frequently,” he looked pointedly at Heero, his expression amused, “You were learning my schedule so he could avoid being seen.”

“Now you know,” Heero shrugged the matter aside, it had never been a huge deal, just a little thing for himself a tiny amount of control.

“And I'll be the only one to know,” he assured with a smile and stood from the bed.

Heero didn't really understand why that made him happy, he kept telling himself it was just a useless thing to be doing, needlessly complicated. Wouldn't it be easier if everyone knew Trowa was speaking with him? But none of that mattered despite it all Heero wanted things to stay as they were, at least for a little while longer.

Trowa's shifting to the edge of his seat caught Heero's attention, and he turned to look at his friend, “Do you think you'll be able to sleep on your own?” he asked quietly though in the silence of the room his question carried to John's ears as well, but to Heero's surprise the old doctor walked quietly from the room.

The Japanese man thought about the question for a moment, he had been wide awake earlier, but the workout—if he could even call it that—that Trowa had done with him, had worn away at him. He felt exhausted now, and it disgusted him, but there was no point dwelling on it now. He just looked into Trowa's eyes and nodded his head, he'd have no trouble sleeping now.

“Alright then,” Trowa came to his feet, “I have a late performance tomorrow night, so I won't be in until closer to morning.” He stepped around the bed walking towards the door, “Try and get some sleep,” he threw over his shoulder as he walked from the room. Heero shook his head a little, knowing that comment was both for now and tomorrow night. Letting his eyes fall closed Heero basked in the familiar ache of tired muscles, it was altogether a different sort of pain to the one he was used to feeling right now, and it was a reminder. He was working towards where he used to be, to being back on his feet.

WMWMWMW

No sooner had Trowa stepped from Heero's room, than John was walking towards him, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked with a friendly smile.

Trowa mutely nodded and followed behind the old doctor as he lead the way to the room right next to Heero's where the Japanese man could be easily observed. Sally had thought of everything when she had had these rooms designed, not even half of their security features were being used right now, and he wondered if they ever would be. Trowa hoped when Heero was back on his feet there might be a need to demonstrate how good that room really was. He wanted to see if more for the reason of seeing his friend back to his usual self rather than the amusement that might be involved in seeing him try to find a way out.

John lowered his aged frame down into one of the chairs, and pulled one in front of him for Trowa to do the same, “Will he be able to sleep?” John inquired.

“Yeah,” Trowa said with a nod.

“Good. I know he was awake when I went in to check on him last, but I had hoped he would be able to fall asleep on his own. The less drugs I have to give him the better,” John leaned back in his chair folding his arms across his chest. “You've been doing more than just talking with him?” John asked then looking truly curious.

Trowa hesitated to answer, there was a chance that John wouldn't want him doing what he had been for Heero, the thought of telling Heero about his confession to John was not all that appealing an idea. “It's alright, Trowa, I just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing. He`s more relaxed now than he has been for a while, and I'm pretty sure that's not just because of the gun.”

A ghost of a smile tugged at Trowa's lips as he looked more directly at John, “During the war, when Heero had self destructed I took care of him, got him back on his feet.” He shrugged his shoulders at the memory, “It wasn't perfect, but we weren't really in a position to have proper treatment.”

John nodded his head slowly not looking all that pleased about the truth of what Trowa had said, but his expression lightened quickly, “What have you been doing with him?”

“Working the joints in his legs getting him to work against a little pressure,” Trowa explained, it really wasn't all that much. Heero was going to have to go through some much more vigorous rehabilitation before he was on the road to where he had been.

“That's good, keep it up,” John sat a little straighter, “He's not quite at the point yet where I want to be bringing in a physical therapist for him, but it won't be much longer.”

Internally Trowa winced at the thought, he tried to imagine Heero working with someone like that, but just couldn't seem to do it. Then there was also the problem of the world needing to think Heero was dead, “Do you have someone in mind already?”

“Yes,” he said with an affirming nod, “A longtime friend. She's good and trustworthy. I haven't approached her yet; I wanted to give Heero more time to fill out and his broken bones time to heal.”

“Not sure how well that'll go over with Heero,” Trowa warned.

John slowly shook his head, “I'll deal with it when the time comes.”

Trowa opted to let the conversation drop there, he didn't think anything would make Heero comply to having to work so closely with another human being, especially one he had never met before. “Good luck with that,” he said with a nod of his head as he came to his feet. John chuckled softly at that but silently watched him go.

Thanks for Reading!

Do You Remember When:

Heero studied Relena without really looking at her, “He's just a very stubborn man,” he said remembering all the occasions Ash had forced things to go as close to his way as he could, despite Heero's protests, “With no sense of self preservation.” A tiny almost impossible to see smile touched his face, nothing had deterred Ash, he had been able to push everyone else away except Ash. Heero reached across his body without really thinking the fingers of his left hand searching out the golden strands of Relena's hair that had spilled across him when she had laid her head down.

“I know his friendship to you means more than just that,” Relena said with a contented smile, “Even if you refuse to admit it to yourself.”

It was true, Heero couldn't deny it to himself, it was hard for him to express in words emotions he didn't really understand. As much has he had tried to push Ash away, a part of him had always been grateful that Ash remained steadfast. Despite himself he had come to rely on people at least to some extent, and to suddenly rip himself from the friends he had fought so hard with, it had hurt him more than he expected it would.

Heero looked down at his hand twined in Relena's silky hair, before his eyes sought out her face, “I missed that…” she whispered eyes falling closed. The silence that settled over them was a comfortable one, it was nice for Heero to just be able to enjoy being with her again without feeling like she was forcing herself to sit with him. He knew deep down that had never been the case, but that didn't change the fact that that was how it had felt to him, this was by far preferable.

The soft knock on the door hardly registered with Heero, it was enough to alert him, but he didn't bother turning to look and see who it was. “Aww now isn't this a nice sight!” Ash's smile could be heard clearly in his voice as he strode into the room. Relena jumped having clearly not been paying enough attention to even heard the door. Heero was surprised at the blush that flooded her cheeks as she sat a little straighter though still resting her arms on the bed. “Oh don't stop just cause I'm here,” Ash continued to grin like a Cheshire cat, “Heero you didn't tell me you could melt women, what other secrets have you been hiding?”

Heero levelled the man with a steady glare, but Ash had seen enough of them to know these daggers were dull. “Princess,” Ash continued without missing a beat, “I'm glad our second meeting is under better circumstances, I never really got a chance to apologise for all that happened to you.”

She offered Ash a gracious smile, it was genuine, and lit up her entire face, “As I myself have been told several times recently,” her eyes fell to Heero, “It's all in the past.”

Ash nodded in agreement to that, and turned his focus to Heero, “So Heero…”

“Don't ask,” the Japanese man cut through, Ash's relaxed drawl, he saw through the corner of his eye that Relena's eyes flickered between them in silent question.

Morganeth Taren'drel