Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ Breathe the Free Air ( Chapter 52 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

AN: My thanks to morgansgirl and Pious Knight (I'm sorry I couldn't wait for you!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

Breathe the Free Air

Heero breathed hard while fighting against the pain in his chest as he pushed his legs out, the weights working against them rising on their cords to his right. It had been four days since Heero had discovered the brand of the Inner Circle on his back, and he had done everything he could during that time to keep himself from thinking about it. The former pilot pushed harder the muscles in his legs cording up as he raised the padded bar that ran across them. Trowa had taken him down to the exercise room, but with his right hand bandaged as it was Heero had opted out of the pool in favour of strength training. Trowa worked on another machine close by, his focus appearing entirely on what he was doing, but Heero had caught the brief glances every now and then.

Relena and the pilots had come to him during this time, and nothing had been said about the video file. Heero wouldn't have even been sure they knew about it, had there not been so many awkward silences. He was grateful though that none of them felt the need to apologise, as angry as he was at being left in the dark, he didn't want to deal with any more verbal apologies. Struggling to keep going Heero tried to focus on the pain, allowing it to burn through him, eat away at his anger and stop his wandering mind. He was continuing the steady fight to get back on his feet and for the first time in months he actually felt like he could see his goal.

“Take a break,” Trowa's voice cut into Heero's thoughts suddenly.

Heero looked up slowly lowering his legs back to the resting position, sweat dripped down his face and his breathing was ragged from the effort he had been putting out. He hadn't really been aware of how hard he had been pushing himself. Brought back to the present Heero winced with each breath shifting in the seat to try and ease the pain in his ribs. Trowa passed him a water bottle without a word, and he drank from it finding the ice cold water eased a little of the pain. The door at the far end of the room opened and Heero looked up watching Ash walk into the room despite himself the former pilot couldn't help but wonder if Ash knew anything about what had happened, had he known before Heero found out?

His right hand clenched in response to his darkening thoughts, the pain was nothing when compared to the burn of his ribs but every little bit helped to burn off the anger. “Let's call it a day Heero,” Trowa said suddenly, again snapping Heero out of his thoughts.

The former pilot looked up at his friend seeing nothing in that one visible emerald eye to say what Trowa was thinking. Heero didn't doubt Trowa had noticed something of his rising anger, his quiet friend could at times be as perceptive as Quatre. “John told me I'd find you down here,” Ash said as he came to a stop in front of Heero, his expression as always relaxed.

“Just finishing,” Trowa commented as he reached for a white towel lying on a bench and passed it over to Heero.

“Great! I was hoping I could get one last game of chess in before I have to leave,” Ash sounded as cheerful as ever, and Heero pulled the towel away from his face in surprise, looking up at his friend. “Yeah sorry I didn't say anything sooner, Dante didn't plan to leave for a few days, but there's some business that needs attending to so…” he trialed off with a shrug.

Heero shifted to the edge of the machine, and Trowa immediately offered his arm which the Japanese man took pulling himself to his feet on shaky legs. He had walked down here with help from Trowa, using his friend for support. As much as he'd like to make it back to his room on his own, his legs usually weren't up to the task; much as they were today. But Heero was feeling particularly stubborn today, he didn't really want to have people around him, still being alone gave his mind too much time to wander. Though his muscles were shaky Heero stepped away from Trowa releasing his friend's arm as he made to walk towards the door.

Ash stepped up beside Heero, walking alongside but keeping a slight distance between them knowing that Heero wanted to make it as far as he could without anyone's help. “When are you leaving?” Heero asked his eyes darting briefly to look at Ash's face.

“The shuttle's set to take off this evening, so I've got time,” Ash told him as they exited the large room, Heero hung close to the wall, his right hand pressed to it for support.

It really wasn't that far to go to make it to his room, just down the hall to the elevator and about an equal distance to the one he was traveling now to make it to his room. Heero was determined to do it, he couldn't walk as fast as he wanted to, but at least he was on his own, Ash and Trowa could hover as much as they wanted. They walked in silence for a time Heero could feel the eyes of his friends burning holes into his back as they intently followed him. He could also feel a tension in the air around him, whether that was caused by him or them he didn't know, or really cared for that matter.

Heero tried his best to keep his mind occupied, he didn't want it to be wandering, or notice the way his shirt brushed across the stiff scar on his back. His expression darkened as he tried to walk a little faster, nothing good would come of thinking about it, they had marked him, but at least—for whatever reason—they had chosen his back, so he didn't have to look at it. Heero finally reached the elevator but it was Ash's hand that reached out to press the button, Heero said nothing just walked through the doors and leaned heavily against the wall.

He let his eyes fall closed not out of exhaustion but a need to try and block things out, it didn't work, he could still feel Ash's piercing gaze on him. “What?” he finally ground out opening one eye just enough to regard his hazel eyed friend.

Ash smiled for an instant, an expression that looked a little relieved, “Just wondering how you're doing,” he said.

Heero raised an eye brow at that knowing full well there was no answer he was going to give that Ash would accept, but he was saved the trouble of having to answer as the elevator doors opened. The Japanese man was the first out, hanging close to the wall on his left as he walked forward his destination finally within sight. He was about three feet from the door when Trowa strode past him to punch in the code, “Get changed, I'll bring you something to eat.”

He just nodded his head at that walking past into his room. He was eating a little better now than he had in the beginning, the exercise that he did each day causing him to actually feel hungry. It was a far better experience to eat when you felt you actually needed to, than just when someone said it was time. Ash followed him into the room silently and strode to the far end to drop himself down on the couch as Heero sat himself down on his bed taking a moment to catch his breath and let his legs rest. Ash continued to watch him without saying a word but Heero knew the silence was not likely to last much longer.

“Ash…” he said the name without turning around to face his friend, this was beginning to bother him.

The man in question laughed for a moment, it sounded natural and pleasant, a welcomed sound Heero was surprised to realise. “Do you realise this is the second time you've broken the silence?” Ash chuckled happily, he would find that amazing.

“Your silent staring is driving me nuts,” Heero responded right back, slowly reaching for the back of his shirt collar.

“Sorry my friend,” Ash apologised with a smile in his voice, “I can keep up a steady stream of conversation if you like, but I had the feeling that might bother you more than silence.”

It's true it would have, an inaudible sigh escaped Heero's lips as he pulled the sweat soaked shirt from his back and tossed it aside. From behind Heero heard Ash's sharp intake of breath, and he twisted then leveling a heavy glare his friends way. He reached for his clean shirt, quickly shrugging into it and concealing the brand from sight. Heero supposed there was something good he could find in this, he had managed to forget it was even there until he heard Ash's reaction, but he decided he didn't want that to happen again. Heero stepped off the bed continuing to change removing his loose fitting drawstring pants and quickly pulling on another pair. He tied the drawstrings tightly but the pants still hung low on his hips.

“Heero,” Ash called his name, his voice oddly emotionless, and it sounded to the former pilot as though Ash wanted him to look over. Heero glanced through the corner of one eye, “Far be it from me to talk about something you'd rather not--”

“Like hell,” Heero cut him off, that's all Ash ever did.

Ash came to his feet then his expression still serious which sort of surprised Heero, Ash's usual tactic was to slip back into a cheerful mode when confronted with Heero's anger. “I just want to make sure you're dealing with this…” he sighed in face of Heero's dark glare several minutes passing in tense silence between them, before Ash finally threw up his hands in defeat. “C'mon Heero let's play a game of chess,” Ash stated as he stepped away from the couch, but instead of walking over to the bed where the chessboard rested he made his way over to the window, and pushed two armchairs together, “Let's play here, the natural light's a lot nicer.”

Heero stared at him for a brief moment, Ash had made such a sudden switch that it left him feeling a little stunned, he had not expected his friend to let up once he started. Ash walked towards him a smile now firmly planted on his face, it was the expression Heero was used to seeing. “You going to stand there forever?” he asked taking hold of the chessboard, “I think your legs would be happier if you sat down.”

Blinking away the fog that had coated his mind Heero stepped away from his bed and slowly moved towards the chairs, where Ash was placing the board securely on the two arms. “White or black?” he asked in a conversational tone. Heero just shrugged sitting himself down in the chair open for him and he drew his legs up to his chest turning to regard Ash. Unfazed Ash opened the small drawer on his side of the board and looked inside, “You're black,” he announced as he began to place his white pieces on the board.

For a time they were quiet as they set up their sides of the chessboard. Heero saw Ash's eyes flicker to his face on several occasions, and although his lips were still turned up in a smile his eyes were very serious. Perhaps he hadn't let go as easily as he first let on, in either case Heero was determined to push Ash off as he had done to John. If and when he wanted to come to terms with what the Inner Circle had done it would be his decision and something he did alone. He wasn't about to let this drag him down, but that didn't mean he had to come to terms with it right now. He could put it aside, it wasn't like he was trying to run away.

Ash took a moment to consider everything once the board was set up before he selected his first piece to move, “So do you find everything a little easier to deal with now that you're practically back on your feet?” he asked in normal conversational tones, his eyes shifting from game to Heero and back again.

The former pilot just shrugged his right shoulder, as he reached for a pawn to move forward, telling himself silently he didn't use his left because the joint was stiffer than his right. “I'm not so bored,” he admitted knowing that wasn't what Ash had been hinting at. Was he less stressed and frustrated than when he couldn't leave that bed behind? Maybe at times but there was always something to piss him off, people, situations, he felt there would always be something.

“Good to hear,” Ash chuckled taking Heero's non answer and rolling with it easily, he moved a pawn of his own before his hazel eyes turned to the window they were sitting in front of. “Have you had a chance to go outside? It's been a while hasn't it?” his attention returned to Heero.

Heero's cobalt eyes flashed over to the window before immediately returning to the game board pain lancing through his head brought to life by the bright sunlight. “Haven't really thought about it,” titling his head away so his eyes were shadowed, Heero decided that wasn't entirely true he remembered the first time he had seen the sunlight and wanted to see more of it. The first time he had wanted to look out the window to the world he had left behind.

“Now I don't believe that,” Ash threw back shaking his head and leaning back in his seat, “You haven't been able to breathe the truly fresh air in months, that's got to suck.”

“Say's the man who lives on a colony,” Heero returned dryly.

Ash laughed out loud at that looking incredibly pleased, “Well at least I appreciate it while I'm here on Earth,” he continued to snicker for a moment, “You're planning on making a move?”

Heero studied the board, they were still just in the beginning stages of the game, but usually he'd already have a plan, one he'd no doubt have to change a dozen or more times while playing against Ash. But this time Heero just couldn't seem to do it, he picked up a knight and moved him across the board.

“So no one's thought to take you outside,” he continued moving a piece of his own without hesitation.

“In case you forgot,” Heero responded capturing one of Ash's pawns, “I'm supposed to be dead…”

“Heh, you look awfully alive to me,” he shifted forward a smirk playing on his face, “Especially considering how you looked last time I was here.”

“Hn,” Heero grunted choosing not to make a verbal response he wondered why Ash was so concerned about this now. Dropping his head down to his right hand Heero massaging subtly at his eye where the ache remained slowly gnawing. If he were to go outside, his light sensitivity would certainly damper his enjoyment, unless it was to fade.

“There's got to be a way to get you outside,” Ash continued his mood remaining bright in face of Heero's silence. “What about the roof?”

Heero simply shook his head, nothing could deter Ash once he got something into his head. Heero supposed they were a like in that sense, though Heero focused his energy on more important matters. A sharp knock on the door broke Heero's thoughts announcing Trowa's return, and the arrival of food. The former pilot walked into the room, hair still damp from his shower, Trowa crossed over to where Ash and Heero sat. “Here,” he said quietly passing Heero a full bottle of water and his meal.

The Japanese man settled back in his chair cracking the water open first, finding his mouth to be really dry. “What no arguments?” Ash asked in total shock, “No game of chess?” he sounded incredulous, “You're just going to take that and eat?”

“Don't sound so shocked,” Heero berated.

“I wouldn't,” Ash began raising a hand in a sign of peace, but an evil smirk was still playing on his face, “If this wasn't the first time I'd ever witnessed this,” he shifted to the edge of his seat, continuing to smile very brightly despite Heero's dark glare.

Ash allowed a silence to fall over the room as Heero ate, and Trowa settled himself down on the couch, but it wasn't to last long. “Trowa I don't suppose you'd know of any way we could slip Heero outside for a short time?” he asked coming to his feet and stretching, “This re-circulated air is starting to get to him.”

“You want to go outside?” Trowa asked Heero.

Heero shrugged his right shoulder, finishing off his meal, “Ash thinks I do…”

“Of course you do!” Ash exclaimed, “It'll be great! Besides you could use a little sun.”

Trowa's lips twitched a little at that as he made to get up, “You'll need something a little warmer than what you have, the wind is brisk out there, especially up this high.”

Heero remained mute, watching his two friends as he finished off the last of the water in the bottle. Would they actually take him up to the roof? Heero didn't doubt Ash would given the chance, and it really didn't look like Trowa was about to stand in his way. Turning his head back towards the window Heero risked a glance at the bright sunlight to see if it would stab him as sharply as it did earlier. He knew it would be different being out there, even this window as clear as it might be filtered the light to a degree, and he still found himself fighting back a wince as his pupils adjusted to the light.

“See!” Ash exclaimed slapping his hands together sharply, “You do want to go outside!” Heero tore his eyes away from the window to regard his friend with an unimpressed look, “Deny it all you want, you're excited about the idea.” Nothing would dampen Ash's mood on this, and Heero could deny it all he wanted, but to himself he had to admit the idea was starting to become more appealing.

“I go grab you a sweater,” Trowa said coming to his feet, and that only extended Ash's smile, as he dropped back across from Heero, moving a random piece on the chessboard.

“This is going to be great!”

WMWMWMW

Heero stood in the dimly lit stairwell just behind the door that would take him out to the roof. It had been a challenge to get up here, they hadn't had to go too far up but stairs were an effort, one Heero had been determined to do on his own. His legs felt shaky from the effort, and he could feel Trowa standing close to his back, eyes watching, but he was able to remain standing on his own.

“Ready?” Ash asked his hand already on the door handle.

“Here,” Trowa leaned over passing Heero a pair of sunglasses, “Put these on.”

Heero took the offered sunglasses gratefully, more so than Trowa would ever know, he hadn't wanted to say anything about the sensitivity of his eyes. Had Trowa noticed? Or was it just a natural assumption, that being indoors for so long would leave him sensitive? In either case Heero really didn't care, he slipped the glasses on and nodded once to Ash. Without a word Ash pushed open the door, letting a gust of fresh air rush into the stairwell along with blinding sunlight. Heero took a moment to adjust himself to this, his eyes not feeling as sore looking at the light through the tinted glass. Ash looked back over his shoulder with his wide smile and walked out onto the roof holding to door open for Heero to follow him out.

Reaching for the door jam Heero pulled himself forward, stepping outside for the first time in months. The late summer breeze pulled at his hair, brushing across his features with cool fingers, making him glad that he had the sweatshirt on that Trowa had brought him. The former pilot stepped further from the doorway so Trowa could follow him outside, and he caught sight of Ash motioning for him to come over to where he was standing. Heero took it slow having nothing really anywhere around him to support himself if his legs decided to give out on him. His eyes narrowed behind the sunglasses he knew if he did fall Trowa was close enough behind him that he wouldn't hit the roof. He made to clench his right hand, but stopped himself, it wouldn't be too much longer before he could walk without them following him.

“Heero come take a look at this,” Ash's exclamation swept back to Heero on the wind, and he could hear his friend's excitement. A tiny smirk touched Heero's lips, who was it who was really excited about this? Ash had made it sound like it was Heero, but he didn't think he could ever match Ash's enthusiasm.

Finally reaching the edge of the roof Heero leaned his weight against the ledge, and looked out over the cliff face and the ocean below. It was bright and open, and for a brief second Heero felt the same sense of amazement as when he had first set foot on Earth. He had never felt such an expansive space. Space itself was limitless, but you couldn't experience it without something between you, like a mobile suit. Heero breathed deeply of the fresh air, his ribs ached but he didn't care, Ash was right it felt good like something had been lifted from his shoulders, one of the many weights he carried, something he hadn't even been aware of.

Ash leaned close to Heero for a moment, “Feels good doesn't it?”

Heero mutely nodded his head, moving a little further down the way, his cobalt eyes seeing the city that rose up east of the agency. Sank was an expansive metropolis that had been steadily growing and rebuilding since the end of the war. It had the look of a European city no tall skyscrapers in fact the tallest building was the agency on which Heero stood. White marble glowed in the brilliant sunshine and Heero's eyes scanned over it all, taking in every familiar building, and landmark that he could see from this distance. He had traveled a great deal while with Relena but much of his responsibilities had kept him in the confines of the city limits, either at the palace or congress. He couldn't see Relena's house from where he stood but knew in his mind exactly how to get there.

He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the city, but after a time he felt a presence close in beside him, and Ash stepped out from behind and put himself in Heero's line of sight. “Look can I be blunt for a moment?” he asked in hushed tones that surprised Heero a little. Ash was as blunt a man as any Heero knew, and rarely concerned about who might hear his advice along with the intended recipient. His right hand reached out for Heero's left shoulder, and before the former pilot knew it Ash's hand was on him pressing the material of his shirt to the brand. Heero's first instinct was to jump away, to put distance between them, but he resisted not wanting to show Ash just how much this bothered him, though his face did fall into a dark glare.

“Don't let this drag you down Heero,” Ash said very seriously leaning his head in close, “They're not worth it, besides that we're going to take them down, plans are being made.” His hand gripped a little tighter, and Heero's body tensed, “And all the plans involve you, you being there when we take them down.”

Finally Ash released Heero's shoulder, and the former pilot drew in a breath to his burning lungs, he hadn't realised he had stopped when Ash grabbed him. Ash stepped back a smile spreading across his face as he shut his eyes and turned his face towards the sun, he heaved a sigh, whether it was from pleasure or relief Heero couldn't say for sure. “Just keep that in mind,” he stated looking directly at Heero, “I'll remind you every now and again, I'm sure the other's will appreciate it,” Ash chuckled to himself as he stepped away giving Heero a little space.

The Japanese man watched his friend leave with mixed feelings raging through him. Would anyone else have tried something like that? He doubted at the moment that any of the pilots would have, but would they if there were in the same position as Ash? They all had their own scars to live and deal with, and for the most part they had all dealt on their own. Heero had never wanted to reveal what he had lived through most likely for the same reasons the others never spoke. They didn't want to relive any more than they wanted to burden someone else with their past. Quatre was different from the rest however, he had his share of scars though they tended to be a little more public like the death of his father for example. He was also more sensitive to what they were feeling, still he never forced the issue, at least he had never done that with Heero.

“Heero?”

Blinking out of his thoughts Heero looked back over his shoulder to see Trowa and Ash both watching him, “You ready to go back in?” Trowa asked.

Casting one last glance over the city Heero nodded his head and made his slow way back towards the door. This really hadn't changed anything for Heero, at least not anything tangible, but still he felt better for it, like he had every time he had gained something back, some small measure of independence.

WMWMWMW

Heero jerked awake drawn from his sleep by the sound of someone knocking on his door, opening his eyes Heero looked to the clock immediately seeing it was only ten at night. That surprised him, he hadn't realised he was tired enough to fall asleep. Ash had left hours back, they had come back inside and finished their game of chess, a game Ash had managed to win, with Heero so distracted. He doubted he'd hear the end of it for some time, he was just grateful to hear the end of it for the moment. Ash was not what you'd describe as a graceful winner; at least not when he had been trying to win against Heero for so long.

Pushing himself up Heero barely managed to get himself into a sitting position before the door was opening and he saw Relena's smiling face. The expression faltered for a minute when she looked at Heero, “I didn't wake you did I?” she asked obviously concerned.

Heero shook his head, unsure if she'd believe him or not, “No,” he looked off towards the wall of pictures again raking a hand through his hair as he did. Hearing Relena sigh, brought Heero's eyes right back to see a pleased expression on her face and something he couldn't put his finger on in her eyes.

“Somewhere I'm sure, there has to be a law against a man looking this good,” she shook her head, lips turning up into a beautiful smile. He blinked looking down at himself before returning his eyes to Relena with what he was sure was a confused expression. She laughed a sound Heero knew he'd never get tired of hearing, and she crossed the distance to him getting up on the bed in front of him. “You know looking at me like that only makes you sexier,” this close Heero couldn't help but reach out for her blond hair wrapping the silky strands around his fingers.

He pulled her in for a kiss, slow and gentle and he could feel her left hand find its way onto his leg, while her right tangled itself in his already messy hair. Relena parted the kiss remaining very close to him, “I never imagined I'd ever find something I could tease you about.” Heero chose not to respond to that but closed that small distance between them and pressed his mouth to hers firmly, he wanted more, and Relena responded by her hand leaving his leg to meet in his hair where her right was still running. Pulling her closer Heero felt one of Relena's hands stray to his back, unconsciously touching his left shoulder blade.

Heero fought the urge to stiffen and push Relena away, he didn't want to hurt her, but he had to break the contact, had to remove her hand. Pulling away he was met with Relena's pouting face, before he turned to slide off the bed. “Something wrong?” she asked following him.

“Leg cramped,” he lied, pressing his hand to his right leg a he walked a little not looking at her. He couldn't let this get to him, it was a weakness, he didn't have any weaknesses.

“Want me to massage it for you?” she asked suggestively taking hold of his wrist, and pulling him gently too her.

Heero felt his lips turn up a fraction at that, and forced his eyes to look up at her, “I'm alright,” he assured her. Relena just pouted at him for an instant before her expression blossomed into a smile.

“I heard from Ash that he took you up to the roof today,” Relena commented coming to her feet , “That must have been nice.”

Heero shrugged his right shoulder and lowered himself onto the couch near the far end of his room. He had enjoyed that brief time out on the roof, but couldn't see why he needed to voice it. Heero leaned back hard against the couch dark eyes watching Relena as she knelt down in front of him crystal blue eyes staring deeply into his. “You won't even admit it to me?” she asked with a tiny pout her long lashes batting at him, but he could see she was trying very hard not to laugh.

“What is it you want to hear?” he asked his right hand reaching out to play with her hair. As much as he enjoyed it, perhaps that wasn't even the right way to look at all these little moments where he had gained something back. There was a sense of pride at having made it back, and perhaps relief, but could he really say he enjoyed it? That he took pleasure in things that he hadn't been able to do a few months before? It seemed to him that these `moments' really just showcased how far he had fallen.

“Don't look like that Heero,” Relena cut through his thoughts leaning up to quickly kiss him, she held him there for a brief moment before pulling back. “There ought to be a law against you sitting here thinking especially if your thoughts are just going to darken.” There was no denying that given enough time Heero's thoughts usually did turn in that direction something he hardly even noticed.

Heero reached down to Relena pulling her onto his lap, she stretched her legs down the length of the couch and cuddled close slipping her arms around his neck. For a time they just sat there together Heero not looking at anything specific just taking a moment's pleasure at having Relena so close to him that he could feel her heart beating. He felt her sigh against his shoulder and it was like she melted a little her entire body relaxing, “You don't know how long I've dreamed of this,” she whispered into his ear and he could tell she was smiling.

He looked down at her then seeing her eyes were closed, “I'm sorry it took so long,” he apologised softly and watched as her beautiful blue eyes flashed open.

“We're together now,” she smiled with a dazzling light in those eyes, “I don't want you to feel sorry for what you had to do.”

Did he feel sorry for what he had done? It was a question he had never actually asked himself, there had been questions of regret but that wasn't the same thing. He could regret how things had had to go, but not that he had chosen to take the mission, and in that sense Heero supposed he couldn't feel sorry for it. If he were to do it all over again, he knew without second thought that he'd play it all the same. Looking down at Relena, he didn't feel any need to explain himself to her, instead he chose to kiss her. Dropping his lips down onto hers, Heero could feel Relena respond immediately her body pressing closer to him not that there had been any distance between them to begin with.

Their lips parted to accommodate the need for a few long breaths of air, Heero sat there in the silence not really looking at anything in particular, his thoughts not focused on one specific thing. He felt comfortably surrounded by Relena's presence, her scent filling him, making up for all those days of wishing he could just experience her one more time.

“Heero,” Relena spoke up softly her head cradled on his shoulder her arms wrapped loosely around him, “What happens now?” The question was so open ended Heero wasn't even sure what she was referencing to, he looked down at her, finding Relena's eyes to be staring off deep in thought.

“What do you mean?” he probed for clarification.

“You're back,” she began looking up at him, “You've recovered, what now with the Inner Circle? What about the rest of your life?” the second question Heero felt pretty sure Relena was more interested in, though there was no doubt that she saw the need to remove the Inner Circle.

Heero considered the question for a good long time feeling Relena's eyes on him, but knowing that she'd wait patiently for an answer, he was half tempted to say he hadn't really thought about it, to just try and brush the matter aside. But that wasn't the truth, he had been thinking about it, wondering in the silence what he was going to do next. Would he now finally be able to take down the organisation he had almost sacrificed everything to infiltrate? An organisation that had got the better of him and marked him permanently as a member of their ranks, for the rest of his life he'd carry that brand. Heero shook himself internally not wanting his thoughts to travel down that dark road, “I haven't really thought about it…”

Relena blinked in surprise, her expression taking on a stern cast “I don't believe that, not for one minute.” Much to his surprise Relena settled back into his arms, apparently not ready to press this issue with him. “I want to clear your name,” she whispered softly, “I want the world to know you didn't try to kill me.”

“You know that doesn't matter,” he responded immediately, he had never cared what the world thought of him.

She looked up, her pretty eyes shining with bright emotion, “It matters to me.” His arms tightened around her briefly as he let his eyes fall closed, he was content to just sit here in silence, to enjoy her presence. Relena settled a little more comfortably against him a quiet sigh escaping her lips as she did.

Thanks for Reading!

A Constant Struggle:

“Are we going to spar tomorrow?” Wufei broke the silence with a complete change of subject, a welcomed change.

“Yes,” he nodded his head dropping back down to his original seat. His limbs had been responding to him completely for a while now and he had been looking forward to sharpening his skills.

“Good I'm looking forward to it,” they fell into silence as their attention turned to the TV, where the news anchor was recounting the day's major events.

Heero's eyes opened a little wider when he saw an image of himself appear on screen, “It has been four years to the day that Heero Yuy attempted to assassinate Relena Peacecraft, at an assembly held to commemorate the formation of a peaceful Earth's Sphere.” Images of that fateful day over took the screen as the man spoke, and Heero saw for the first time in years how that day had looked. He remember back to that day how he had tried his hardest to avoid the news not wanting to relive that moment any more than he had already was.

He could feel Wufei's eyes on him, but couldn't tare his eyes from the screen on the wall, he caught the motion of his friend reaching to change the channel but he simply shook his head; he wanted to see this. “It was May 5th that Commander Une announced to the world that Yuy had died in an attempt to bring him to justice, little more has been discovered about that incident, earlier today one of our reporters caught up to Miss Peacecraft to get her thoughts on the death of Yuy.”

Heero leaned forward surprised that he had not actually realised what day this was until now. Again the image on screen changed and Heero saw one of Relena walking down the steps of the congress building Duo and Trowa close at hand keeping the press a safe distance back as they made their way towards her car. “Miss Peacecraft!” voices shouted to be heard their questions all blending together into a general din.

“Miss Peacecraft! What do you feel to know Heero Yuy is dead! Is the peace finally secured!” one voice finally broke through the onslaught and demanded to be heard.

Relena halted placing a hand on Duo's arm as she turned to face the camera drawing herself up as though preparing to give a meaningful speak. “Enough of these questions! Is it not enough that he is dead? Must you continue to drag his name to the surface again and again? No matter the man or what he did in his life I believe everyone should be given a moment's peace even if it's only in death.”

“Well said…” Wufei breathed leaning back, Heero mutely nodded his head. This day really held no meaning for him any longer, and because of that he wasn't really surprised at the fact that he had all but forgotten about it. He pulled his eyes away from the TV to look at Wufei, “She hates this day, hates having to deal with all the press,” he explained shutting the screen down.

“I don't care what they think,” Heero said bluntly he was dead in their eyes and that was just fine by him, he had never cared what the world thought of him, had never wanted to be a prominent figure. He had seen first hand back during the war what could happen with public opinion, one minute they're behind you utterly and completely and the very next they want your heads. It was all just so much easier their way.

Morganeth Taren'drel