Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ More than Words ❯ More than Words ( One-Shot )

"speech"

~mumbling outloud~

More than Words

By Arithkenshin

I came to him. Always sneaking around, and trying not to get caught visiting whatever safe-house he was in at the moment. He would greet me at the window, which was usually my point of entry to his room, with a kiss, sealing my mouth to his. I couldn't resist him. As much as Heero Yuy and myself may appear to be bitter rivals during the day, at night we ended up tangled in a mess of sweaty sheets.

As usual he would draw me into the room, kissing me, undressing me and telling me "I love you, Zechs." He rarely had anything but his spandex shorts on, and they too, were quickly removed. His lovemaking was hurried, almost as if he was worried that someone would surprise us and find us out.

He would prepare me and enter me, pumping my erection with his free hand as he guided my hips back and forth. Foreplay was almost non-existent and the act itself was almost desperate. When he had finished fucking me we lay in his bed for a short while, rarely speaking… I don't think he knew anything to say…

He would get up and get dressed, which was my cue to leave his room. As I approached the window he would grab me roughly and kiss me… and again it seemed almost desperate as he told me he loved me, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. And I left that night, as I always did, with tears streaming down my face.

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you

~How can you tell me you love me, if you don't know what love is Heero?~ And for the umpteenth time I wished I had the courage to tell him that to his face. But I was scared… I didn't want to lose the little that we had.

How could I show him, without hurting him, that just words weren't enough when the actions themselves seemed to be remote and cold? He was a killing machine; he had been raised to be a killing machine. He knew nothing other than perfectly completing a mission, and that was not an existence that leads to knowing anything about love. I didn't want to lose him to that cold place that he seemed to retreat to, but when it came to relationships I had to be the worst person in the world. I would let him do whatever he wanted with me… I loved him doing anything he wanted to me, but for the life of me, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I wanted him to show me he loved me, and not just tell me.

It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel

The next night I decided I would try and talk to the man I loved. Despite the fact that there was pain in the pits of my stomach, I put on something a little harder to get off me. Leather. He would literally have to peel it off me, perhaps I could withstand his touch for once, long enough to let myself tell him what was going on inside me.

He met me at the window as usual, and made his usual move to kiss me. But I held a hand to his lips. "I need to talk to you Heero." I am pretty sure that my voice was unsteady; I do know my hands were shaking.

He looked at me… that mask falling back over his face. It was as if I had slapped him, I think he was expecting me to tell him that I was no longer going to be coming to see him, oh if only he knew.

He walked stiffly over to the bed and sat just as stiffly on it, crossing his arms. "What is it?"

I sighed, fidgeting, trying not to notice the glance he gave my leather covered body, making me hot inside and wishing he would just rip it off. I know I blushed, and a look of satisfaction flitted across his face.

This was not going the way I planned. I had to stick to what I had made up my mind to do… I wanted him to know how I felt, I wanted him to know what I needed from him, in order to make me, and I hoped us both, happy.

More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know.

"I…"

He interrupted me. "You wont be coming anymore… am I right?" He looked at me, past me, through me… eyes focused somewhere where he thought it wouldn't hurt as much. I had come to know this complicated man better than I think he knew.

I shook my head, and was momentarily rewarded with a flick of puzzlement in his eyes. For some reason it gave me encouragement.

"I need more…" There… it was out… I had said it. Finally he knew. But as I looked at him, he looked bewildered.

"More?" The perfect soldier was out of his depth… I don't think I have ever seen him confused… at least not like this.

So I tried to explain.

"You say you love me Heero, but do you really?"

He looked at me, almost shocked. "Of course I love you, you know that, I've told you that."

What would you do if my heart was torn in two

I sighed and shook my head.

He was indignant; he thought I thought he was lying. I didn't think that…I knew he loved me, he had to deep down, but why couldn't he show me that. Why couldn't he be more… spontaneous and adventurous? He was glaring at me, great, I had offended him.

I sat myself on the other end of the bed trying not to wring the circulation out of my hands. Hell I could pilot Epyon, but I couldn't tell the man I loved what was going through my head… Dammit Zechs get a hold of yourself.

"Heero… I love you…so much it hurts… So much that sometimes I think my heart is going to burst." His face softened a little but his eyes were still guarded. "I know you love me Heero… I do… it's just… you don't show it."

Surprise flitted through those eyes, and then consternation. He had no idea what I was talking about. And it showed in his voice.

"I don't… show it…But we make love every night we can Zechs and I know I tell you frequently that I love you."

I sighed… yet again. "Sometimes Heero… it would be nice if you showed me you loved me, instead of telling me."

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

His face was completely surprised; he just couldn't digest what I had said. So I tried a different tactic.

"What would you do, if you couldn't talk Heero?"

"If I couldn't talk?" His face took on a look of concentration. Oh… he was really thinking about this, it was going better than I had expected. "If I couldn't tell you I loved you when you came into the room?" He looked the closest to panic he had ever been since I had known him, and I had never seen him close to panic before in my life. "I don't know Zechs, what would I do?"

Shit… I hadn't expected him to ask me… he was usually so good with answers to everything, it had never occurred to me that being raised the way he was, probably never gave him a reason to know things like this.

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know Heero."

He looked angry with me… I hated making him angry. "Then why come to me and tell me this, if you don't know the answers yourself!" His hands were absently clenching the blanket of the bed.

Sighing was getting to be a habit. "I don't know Heero… but what I do know is that as much as I love you, you cant make everything great by just telling me that a few times a day and having sex. There needs to be more to us… more to this…"

What would you say, if I took those words away

Then you couldn't make things new

Just by saying, I love you

I stood up, arms around me, hugging myself and I looked at him. "I need to go…" and I turned to go to the window…our first real conversation had shaken me and I didn't know how to react. But I felt a hand reach out to me and grab my arm, so I turned back and looked into beautiful cobalt eyes.

"Don't go yet." That voice… always made me melt, and as he pulled me into a deep kiss, I forgot everything I had said, and let him take me yet again.

More than words

He had a mission that lasted the next few days, so it was one of our breaks from each other. I was a little worried, and paranoid that he would come back and tell me it was over, that he didn't need someone so clingy hanging around him. Had it been a mistake to tell him how I felt and what I needed? Could I have dealt with our relationship had it remained the way it was?

The mission he was on was with Duo. The chestnut haired man had a very openly acknowledged relationship with that young blond… Quatre. They were a stunning couple and I envied them. It was very obvious that they were in love and belonged together. I so wished Heero and I could have that.

I knew when he arrived back, for some reason I could always feel it… feel him. Damn it. I was scared as I approached the house that night. Something was different. The door was lit and Duo and Quatre were outside it. I tried to change my path but they waved to me, they had already seen me, dammit, how was I going to explain my presence here at this time of night.

Chestnut braid swinging behind him Duo handed me a…rose? I looked at the flower in my hands… somewhat bewildered, and then into those violet eyes. I was fully aware that Quatre was just grinning at me.

Could it be? Had he? Had he actually listened?

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand

Duo's next words gave me hope… a hope that over the last few days had started to disappear from my heart. "We're going out! Trowa and Wufei have a mission. Just follow the roses." He winked at me, put an arm over his lover's shoulder and they walked away into the night.

I pushed the door open and glanced inside. There was another red rose on the floor. I was a little puzzled, I had to confess, and I had no idea what was going on. The house was very dimly lit but long stemmed roses with red satin ribbon bows were very easy to spot… they weren't very far apart. And by the time I had reached my destination I had at least a dozen in my arms. I looked up…candles lit the room and there was a meal set on the table. Oh my… it looked like Indian, my favorite food in the world.

A throat cleared. I looked in the direction of the sound, and realizing my mouth was gaping I shut it.

But it fell open again as my eyes rested on the man who had made the noise. I had always thought he was beautiful… but…this man in front of me was amazing. He had put on tight black pants…and an amazing cobalt blue shirt that brought out the color of his eyes, accenting his black hair in the candlelight. He looked good enough to eat. I blushed.

Pushing himself away from the wall, he approached me and took the flowers out of my hands. He put them in the vase that was on the table, very obviously set there for just this reason. But his eyes never left my face. Just as well, because I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. He approached me. Heero has always been shorter than me, but it never made any difference, he would always be able to exert control over me and I would always let him. Reaching up he traced my jaw line with his fingers and rested the other hand on my waist. I closed my eyes as the touch sent shivers down my spine.

All you have to do, is close your eyes

And just reach out your hands, and touch me

His hand stroked my cheek and touched my closed eyelids wandering to the nape of my neck and massaging there. A slight moan escaped my lips. That felt good, very good. I opened my eyes and saw that his eyes were closed, a smile spread on his lips. I loved his smile… I had seen it so rarely…and never so beautiful as it was now. It was as if he had let down all his barriers… just for me. My eyes closed again as he hit a particularly sensitive spot on my neck and I leant into it. The hand on my waist pulled me closer to him, so that our bodies were touching each other… I could feel him through the cloth separating our flesh and I shivered again. The hand on my neck moved and pulled my head down to his… our lips met in a clash of passion and I opened my mouth willingly to his intruding tongue. The kiss was more electric than any we had ever had previously, and his tongue somehow found spots in my mouth that elicited more shocks down my spine. I wished the kiss would last forever, I didn't ever want him to let me go.

Hold me close don't ever let me go

But eventually we were going to need oxygen. He pulled away from me, looking up into my eyes with lust in his… but also something more. I loved this man so much it ached.

He took me by the hand, flashing a rare smile in my direction as he led me to the table, pulling my chair out for me and seating me.

"It's Indian… it is your favourite, isn't it?" I don't know if it was me, but apart from slightly breathless he seemed to be a little nervous, but it wasn't showing through much so I could have been mistaken.

I smiled… I couldn't help it. "Yes… it is…how did you?"

He smiled at me again. "You made a comment once…I remember the comments you make." He shrugged as if it was nothing special. But to me, it meant more than I think he knew. That piece of attention, that bit of notice, told me more than anything else ever had that this raven-haired man in front of me, loved me. That was all he had ever needed to do.

More than words, is all I ever needed you to show

Then you wouldn't have to say, that you love me

Cos I'd already know

We talked… we actually spoke. I can't remember about what, for me all that mattered was that we were having a conversation, and it wasn't stilted. He told me about his mission I think, and I told him about what I had done while he was gone. The food was amazing and the wine was perfect. Neither of us drank much, it was more just to give a little warmth in the stomach. But I do think it loosened our tongues a little, and I am glad.

I smiled at him thanking him for the dinner.

He looked at me… thoughtfully…swirling the last of his first glass of red he swallowed it. His eyes didn't leave my face as he placed his glass back on the table. The expression in them was mixed, there was a hunger there, a need and feelings I couldn't begin to fathom. Pushing back his chair he stood up and walked… though more like sauntered over to me. Somehow he managed to turn my chair, with me still in it, to the side.

In a swift movement that I wasn't expecting he knelt before me taking my hands in his and kissing each of them.

"I am sorry for hurting you Zechs." Sorry… Heero was sorry; it was almost enough to make me faint had that expression on his face not been so sincere.

He gently sucked on each of my fingertips of one of my hands… eyes never leaving my face. Another soft moan escaped my lips.

"I am sorry if I ever hurt your heart."

What would you do, if my heart was torn in two

His voice was soft and sultry and made me want to melt. I closed my eyes as his mouth encased each of the remaining fingers he hadn't already sucked…and I could feel myself growing harder.

I felt him move and opened my eyes to find him about to straddle me. His body pressed itself against mine and he ground his hips down making me gasp. His hands explored through my hair, touching spots on my scalp as his mouth worked with mine, tongue diving and exploring, teeth gently biting and holding my tongue. With a nip on my bottom lip the contact of his mouth left mine and I pouted, disappointed. But not for long.

Hands now reached down and slowly unbuttoned my shirt as his mouth found my neck and kissed and nipped it as he moved down slowly. I gasped again, the sensations making my body feel hot.

As he reached the nape of my neck where my neck meets my shoulder I had to suppress a moan as he bit down and sucked. Raising his eyes to look at me he smiled cheekily…"We'll have none of that my love." And as he bit down harder his hands lightly pinched my now exposed nipples. I almost screamed, but wasn't quite that loud… I hadn't even noticed when my shirt had fallen to the floor. My mind was burning from feelings I had not yet experienced and from the phrase… my love… he had never said that before… ever. But Heero never lied.

I started to squirm under his ministrations, there was going to be a huge love bite on my neck in the morning, I could feel it already… but I didn't care… because it was Heero that was giving it to me, and I wanted everyone to know.

His mouth started to roam again, this time down my chest, first encasing one nipple with his mouth and playing with it, biting, nibbling and sucking at it. And then he moved to the other. Almost driven crazy by the sensations I barely noticed as his hands started working on the laces that did up my pants. He moved off my legs, standing over me and expertly removed my pants. My painfully hard erection was aired and he appreciated it, touching the shaft and looking at me. I knew my eyes probably had a `fuck me now' look to them and I didn't care… if he took me now it was all worth it.

But he didn't. He gently pulled me to the floor and positioned himself between my legs. But he was still fully clothed and I could figure it out, until he bent his head and bit the insides of my thighs. I cried out again, hands gripping at the plush carpet. And then… I felt him lick the pre-cum off the tip of me and I shuddered, bucking a little.

"Patience…" I heard him almost breath onto my cock. The sensations of that warm breath so close to something so sensitive almost drove me mad again.

He pumped me gently with his hand, watching me…and then he lowered his head and devoured me completely with his mouth. The shock of that sweet, wet , warm space surrounding me made me buck again, but his other hand was holding me in place, sometimes I forgot how strong he was. Slowly, almost tormenting me he would take my entire shaft in his mouth and then slowly, sucking worked his way back up to the tip before tonguing the rim and slit and making me groan loudly. He repeated the process over and over until I felt like I was going to explode…and then he rested the tip of his tongue against me running it slowly around the rim… until my breathing evened out again.

Once it did he pumped me into his mouth, getting faster and faster, he could feel me throbbing. He seemed to know exactly when I was going to lose control, because he sucked lightly setting off a chain reaction in my body, which ended in a scream tearing from my throat and warm salty sweet liquid shooting down Heero's throat… which to my happy surprise he swallowed all up.

Crawling up next to me he kissed me deeply…and I could taste myself in his mouth…sweat covered my body… and I still couldn't believe it…That was the first time Heero had ever gone down on me.

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

He smiled at me, and that smile reached his cobalt eyes lighting up his whole face… I couldn't believe I had ever doubted that this man could love me.

He spoke softly as he continued to gather me into his arms and raise me off the floor, and I only absently noticed he had enough strength to carry me easily. "I was scared Zechs…I didn't realize, I thought you were happy."

As he carried me up the stairs he kissed me again. I smiled: "I was a bit Heero…but I am greedy I want all of you."

We reached his room and another surprise awaited me. It was lit by candles as well… rose petals strewn on the bed and roses all around the room. I looked at him… surprise showing in my eyes as he laid me on the bed.

What would you say, if I took those words away

Then you couldn't make things new

Just by saying, I love you

He kissed me and threaded his hands through my hair and finally I managed to control my body… I reached up and started unbuttoning his shirt… and he smiled as he kissed me. I undressed him as he lavished attention on my body, my nipples, my chest, my face, my neck and even my eyes. He left no spot of my body unexplored and it was little wonder that it took me so long to undress him, as shivers kept bouncing up and down my spine.

But I managed it. Once naked he pressed his sleek body against mine and ground our erections together. I gasped and felt him do the same. He pushed my hands to the side of my body and held them there, his mouth once again attacking my neck. I writhed beneath him, causing more friction between our bodies. It was suddenly too hot in the room, I would have taken my skin off if it had helped me cool down. I moaned again and he silenced me with a deep exploring kiss that lasted for a long time. Our tongues entwined and fought in my mouth for dominance, but as always he won… he would always win. I smiled.

He reached beneath the pillow to the side of my head and withdrew a tube… I looked at him hungrily but he placed a finger on my mouth and said: "Shhhh love." He lowered his head to my chest… and began again to suckle at me. Biting harder than he had before, he made me cry out, but I knew I didn't have to be quiet for once; we were alone. He traced one hand down my side making me shiver at the touch and then the other hand gently traced the outside of my entrance. I groaned again.

Slowly he inserted a finger…it slid in somewhat easily, it seemed he had lathered it particularly well. He knew me too well, and he knew just where to hit me so that I bucked and writhed into his hands.

"Settle love…" His voice was gentle and mildly amused… and he added another finger, letting my body adjust to the new addition. Mouth still working at my chest he started moving his fingers in and out of me, making sure to hit that sweet spot every time. My brain didn't have much room left for coherent thought when he added a third finger to the mix… the pain had been overcome by complete pleasure as he sucked at my nipples and slid his fingers in and out of me.

He knew I was ready… my hands were pulling at his hair. I expected him to turn me over, as he had never made love to me any other way. But he didn't. He slowly removed his fingers and lifted my legs pulling a pillow under the small of my back so he wouldn't hurt me. My eyes widened in surprise as he lathered himself and placed himself at my entrance. He made sure to watch me as he very slowly and very carefully slid into me. The pain was minimal; he had prepared me well. It didn't take long and he was fully embedded in me. I felt him sitting against that spot and it almost drove me over the edge. He leant forward to kiss me, embedding himself deeper inside me making me scream, which he cut off as his mouth closed over mine. Slowly he withdrew himself and slowly he pushed back in, he wouldn't let my hips buck, as he had a tight hold on them. I don't know how long it went on but it lasted a long time… the rhythm was amazing, I could feel every inch of him pushing in and out of me with every thrust.

After a while the tempo increased, my body in an agony of passion, it had never felt this good. His thrusts became harder and I reveled in it. He reached in between our bodies to take a hold of my again rock hard member, mouth still closed over mine, as if he was trying to devour me. Faster and faster he entered and withdrew, still he was slamming in and out of me, until I started screaming. His breathing started coming in gasps and I knew he was close, but so was I. Although I was barely coherent I had an idea and I grinned into our kiss squeezing the muscles in my butt… A cry of surprise emerged from his lips as he thrust once more wildly into me and came filling me with warmth…almost at the exact same time as I split my seed between us. Still inside me he kissed me. He kissed my eyes, my forehead and my neck… and finally just rested himself on my chest, running hands through my hair.

"Heero?"

"Mmhmm?" He raised his eyes and looked at me, all barriers lowered, showing me the tender side of Heero Yuy that I knew no one else had ever gotten to see. And it also made me understand tonight was special. He would not always be like this, he could not afford to be. But tonight at least, and maybe every once in a while he would show me just how much he loved me.

"Thankyou."

He smiled.

More than words

That night for the first time ever, I feel asleep in my lover's arms.

After that night… I never climbed through the window again.

~Ende~

A/N

Yes even I sometimes make a happy ending hehehe