Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ MST: The Phobia List ❯ One-Shot

MST: The Phobia List

by Shaman Dani

(with commentary from the Gundam Wing pilots and Piemur the Muse)

Disclaimer: The Phobia List is not mine; I found it here: http://www.phobialist.com and edited out the boring ones. Gundam Wing is also not mine…but you already knew that.

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Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.

Heero: They're probably terrified of Dani then.

Dani: Yeah, probably.

Duo: You just insulted yourself...

Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.

Dani: *sics the 20 lb Teazer on them*

Albuminurophobia- Fear of kidney disease.

Quatre: Kidney disease is a very serious ailments, people have a right to fear it.

Duo: But just fear of kidney disease in general?

Trowa: ...is odd...

Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.

Heero: Hn...chickens...

Wufei: These people must be weak...

Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.

All: Vampires...

Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.

Dani: I know lots of people like that...

Quatre: I think they just don't like your opinion.

Amathophobia- Fear of dust.

Duo: I dislike dust.

Trowa: I sneeze around dust.

Wufei: I bet they're neat freaks.

Amychophobia- Fear of scratches or being scratched.

Heero: I wonder if these are the same people that fear the cats?

Anglophobia- Fear of England, English culture, etc.

Duo: I fear Relena...does that count?

Heero: Relena isn't English.

Trowa: What is she then?

Heero: Sanquian...

Duo: You made that word up...

Ankylophobia- Fear of immobility of a joint.

Wufei: *sarcastic* I can't move my pinky!

Anthrophobia- Fear of flowers.

Duo: *sneezes* If you have allergies, you have the right...

Dani: *shouts* Flower Power!

Apiphobia- Fear of bees.

Heero: *under breath* Buzzzzzzzzz.

Wufei: What the hell? Are you buzzing Yuy?

Heero: No.

Quatre: *giggles*

Apotemnophobia- Fear of persons with amputations.

Jean: *pops in* What are we amputating the cat from again Dani? *pops out*(1)

Dani: *sobs and glomps onto Wufei* I'm not even safe in my own fics...

Wuefi: *chokes*

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Dani: *cheers up* Peanut butter!

Quatre: Ok, this is just weird...

Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.

Heero: Ichi!

All: ...

Dani: Go!

Heero: Go is five.

Dani: I know, but Ichigo is strawberries.

Heero: A point, but we're not talking about the fear of strawberries.

Asthenophobia- Fear of weakness.

All: *look at Wufei*

Wufei: *still trying to pry an authoress off his lap* Ey?

Asymmetriphobia- Fear of asymmetrical things.

Duo: What's asymmetrical again?

Quatre: Not symmetrical.

Duo: Oh...what's symmetrical?

Trowa: The same on both sides.

Atomosophobia - Fear of atomic explosions.

Trowa: //.O' Isn't everyone afraid of them?

Heero: Considering that they destroy everything...

Duo: And everyone...

Quatre: For miles...

Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.

Trowa: Flutes?

Aurophobia- Fear of gold.

All: Gold?

Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.

Quatre: One question Dani...

Dani: Hmm?

Quatre: Why?

Dani: Forty-two.(2)

Bibliophobia- Fear of books.

Dani and Wufei: *are horrified*

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.

Heero: Or the fear of Duo and Zechs...

Duo: I resent that.

Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety.

Quatre: That could be the fear of Duo too!

Dani: Could we interrpret this as fear of gays? As in yaoi?

All: *horrified at mere thought*

Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.

Trowa: *looks at Duo and Wufei*

Duo: What?

Wufei: What?

Trowa: Nothing...

Coitophobia- Fear of coitus.

Duo: And what is coitus?

Heero: Sexual intercourse.

Wufei: *nosebleed*

Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.

Trowa: ...

Duo and Dani: *point and scream*

Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.

Quatre: *accusingly* Are these real?

Dani: Oh yes...sadly.

Dikephobia- Fear of justice.

Wufei: *is speachless*

Epistaxiophobia- Fear of nosebleeds.

All: *look at Wufei*

Ergasiophobia- Surgeon's fear of operating.

Quatre: That is not a comforting thought...

Hippophobia- Fear of horses.

Duo: Why is the fear of horses called hippophobia?

Heero: I have no answer...

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

Quatre: That is depressingly ironic.

Heero: *as a doctor* I believe you have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, sir.

Duo: *screams*

Homophobia- Fear of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.

Dani: *whimpers* That's just so wrong...

Wufei: What do they call a homosexual's fear of becoming straight?

Heero: Heterophobia?

Ithyphallophobia- Fear of having an erect penis.

Dani: *giggle*

Trowa: You put that in here on purpose.

Dani: Well duh.

Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.

Heero: Umm...hn...

Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.

Trowa: *blink*

Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.

Duo: I wonder how people with dextrophobia(3) get along with people with levophobia.

Quatre: Not very well.

Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection.

Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.

Trowa: You are putting this stuff in here on purpose!

Dani: I thought we'd already established that fact...

Melanophobia- Fear of the color black.

All: *don't look at Duo*

Duo: Hmph...

Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams.

Trowa: Would you stop this?

Dani: Prude...

Pantophobia- Fear of everything.

Duo: This one I like, very vague...

Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.

Quatre: Who thinks of these names?

Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.

Dani: This one is good too.

Heero: *as doctor again* You have phobophobia...

Duo: *screams*

Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.

All: Relena!

Polyphobia- Fear of many things.

Duo: This is right up there with pantophobia.

Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple.

Quatre: *examines his vest* How odd...

Proctophobia- Fear of rectum.

Duo: Bet they aren't gay...

Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.

Dani: That just sounds rather enjoyable actually...

Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.

Wufei: What about the fear of the American culture? *looks at Duo*

Quatre: *giggles* Are you afraid of Duo and Dani, Wufei?

Wufei: Injustice! No!

Symmetrophobia- Fear of symmetry.

Heero: As opposed to the fear of asymmetry?

Duo: Gosh...what if you had both?

Trowa: You would be screwed...

Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.

Wufei: Fear of Trieze?

Dani: *pokes* Is ikkle Wuffie scared of Khushy?

Wiccaphobia: Fear of witches and witchcraft.

All: She's a witch! Burn her! Burn her!

Duo: *in a bad British accent* She turned me into a newt! *pause* I got better...(4)

Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.

Dani: Ahhhhhhhhh! The great mole rat!!! Ahhhhhhhhh! *runs screaming*

***

(1) Inside joke, involves an episode of Animal Vets and me saying something along the lines of "Why're they amputating the cat?" and Jean (best friend) replied, "They're amputating the cat's leg, not the cat!"

(2) Read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. That is all I'm going to say.

(3) That was the fear of things being on the right hand side of the body, just a reminder.

(4) Monty Python and Quest for the Holy Grail.