Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ My Battered Soul ❯ My Battered Soul ( One-Shot )
Told from Quatre's POV. What could have possibly been going on in Quatre's mind once ZERO took over.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 09.28.2002 | Updated On: 09.28.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 438 | Status: Completed
Warning: This is truly an angst filled fic. Now although its being posted here keep in mind that this was my first GW fic ever. Hence the blah factor.
Author's Notes: All information about Quatre's past dealing with his family and meeting of the Maguanacs was taken from the ZERO Episode. If you have not read that manga or just plain dont know why there's such a rift between father and son DO NOT email me complaining I have the information wrong. I dont know how many people did that at ff.net but I'm hoping there's some mature people here. ^_^
My Battered Soul
By Lady Dragon
Sunny and bright that's how most would describe me. Those same people would probably also choose such words as nice, caring, generous and sensitive. They truly do not know me. I've spent my adolescent years piloting a machine of mass destruction, fighting for peace. Now how idiotic does that sound? And what of the people I'm fighting for, what of the people of the colonies? The colonists, the same who denounced us pilots and decided to take up the false banner of "peace and love" that OZ was waving, the same who turned against my family, a family of pacifists. In my mind's eye there is no worse, more heinous crime then attacking those incapable or unwilling to fight back. And that is exactly what the colonists of L4 did. So why should I continue to fight for them? They have become the enemy, remember children the enemy wears many faces; though I'm sure they'd disagree it. Ah yes the enemy, the enemy who commissions the aide of children in a mindless and pointless war. They could be so easily demolished. All five of us could storm La Grange, secure each colony's gravitational orbits and hurl them to Earth. Now wouldn't that end it all?
Operation Meteor, not even OZ knows what it truly was and is. Their egos were heavily inflated when their amateur intelligence agents discovered the colonists plan to send Gundams to Earth. What would they think if they realized the real Operation Meteor was as destructive as it's namesake? Suicide bombings, self detonation all of it would appear tiny and insignificant compared to the destruction that would have occurred. Even Heero would be forced to bow down before a sacrifice such as that! But where is Heero, where is Trowa and where does that bigoted Chinaman lie? Are they dead in a gutter or held captive in enemy hands? Heero, no he would not lie complacently in a gutter dead or alive, he must have fallen, like the true archangel he is. Trowa, no doubt has managed to infiltrate the enemy. Oh but the rouse is on him when he discovers that his ability in lies and manipulation are due to the fact that he secretly longs to be the enemy! Chang Wufei, stoic pilot, master martial artist, and certified crybaby. His chauvinistic outlook is merely a ploy, deep down he is inferior to the female race and wishes not to acknowledge it. But surely he has not sided with the enemy, or fallen; surely his stupidity and pigheadedness would have pushed him further along his road to self-induced idiocy.
Allah, what is wrong with me? I sit here now as weak as my enemy and by the hands of those I was ordered to protect. Instructor H what have you done? You sought to create a rascal able to defy and strangle your enemy. You planted the seeds of terrorism and depravity into the head of a child, and at harvest time shipped him off, wrapped in a ribbon of blood and terror. His sole purpose to destroy the lives of humans. For surely even soldiers are human. What of the families who lost loved ones at the hands of those rebels; were their lives not tarnished by the carnage created by five adolescent boys? Five adolescent boys, in my troubled rambling thoughts I have left out a part of this equation of death. Ah yes Duo Maxwell, the only thing worse than a crybaby is a pretender, a poseur. And that is what he isn't it? What kind of person goes about pretending to be something he's not? God of Death my ass!
But who would know about that better than you Nanshi, or for that matter you Quatre Rabarbe Winner. Yes you Quatre, you who posses a caring soul, you who "feels the sould of outer space". What does your empathic abilities tell you about yourself; does it tell you that you are weak, that you have no love and compassion? Do you know where your true feelings lie, I'm sure you don't even care about peace, not you little Winner heir. Resource satellites are what matters to you; resource satellites and the money and power that go along with them. That is why you sit here now crying and vowing vengeance on those you once sought to protect. You care nothing about the loss of your father, or your sister Irea. You do not care, how could you, you are after all merely and instrument of war, a mere weapon. You could never exhibit the emotions you are meant to feel when no one has even shown those feelings to you. No parents rejoiced at your birth, no instead scientists merely proudly produced the test tube that would insure that Mr. Winner finally had an heir to his corporation. How many failed attempts did it take to create you; twenty-nine or was it thirty-nine, can you even remember?
Laughing that's what will solve this. I'll put a smile on and laugh sweetly while beaming an innocent and radiant smile, mask back into place I will march out there and defeat the enemy. Nanashi I will defeat you. You have taken my Trowa and seek to take me, but I will not let you! We will rise from here victorious! Already my mask slips and cracks. How does Duo manage to maintain his cheerful disposition while mowing down humans; how does Heero manage to remain indifferent when slewing innocents? How does Wufei manage to find the justice in wholesale slaughter; and you Trowa, how do you slip into stolen lives and devastate those around you and still sleep peacefully at night? Vile, putrid, stinking hateful hell spawn, they're nothing but space trash!
And so are you.
And so am I! My only allies in this apocalyptic nightmare, take my love for gall, for I shall never use it. Instead fill me with the poison that has threatened my existence. Let it envelop me in its most seductive form so that I too may become as bitter as my enemy.(1)
And so we shall.
*cough* in case this needs explaining the unamed person Quatre is talking to is well obviously the ZERO system. I'd place this as happening right before he starts atacking colonys.
1. Ever read Macbeth?