Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ My last letter ❯ My last letter ( Chapter 1 )

Title: My last letter

Author: Noir

Anime: Gundam Wing

Paring: none in particular, Duo is angsting over Heero

Warnings: death, yaoi, angst, Duo POV

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing so don't sue.

Summary: My poor duo dies, who's fault is it?

Tears… I find myself crying for…

I'm lost, I'm none… I'm death, the great Shinigami!

To make it plain, when you'll get this letter, I'll probably be dead. The reason why I'm crying? Pain… pain that I couldn't tell you this while I was alive, but you know me, always full of surprises. You were my best friend, hell, you still are… but than again I guess this wasn't meant to be if… I'm not making any sense, am I? It's just that I'm so afraid, and I guess you probably wonder why I wrote this.

I love you Heero Yuy! There I wrote it… I'm such a coward for a loud mouth. I couldn't get myself to tell you this in person. The reason? Rejection. I couldn't stand the feeling of you being disgusted by me, not that you aren't now, but I won't be there to see you, to see the disappointment in you cobalt eyes.

I wrote this letter because I committed suicide. I'm sorry, but I couldn't stand it anymore, I knew what was coming… yeah, Q. told me about Relena and hey, if she can make you happy and if she loves at least half as I still do, than you're a lucky man Heero.

I just had to clear my conscience by telling you this, and know I wasn't suffering, `cause I was blessed with your friendship, you were the reason I got up in the morning and even now that I've died and probably gone to hell I'm still thinking about you. Being your friend was the miracle I was waiting for since all my loved ones died, you were my miracle Hee-chan, you were the proof God loves me.

Heh, I remember the first time I used you nick name and you hit me so hard I had a nasty bruise on my shoulder for almost a month. Well it should have healed sooner, but you know stupid me I continued to bug it and hit it, just because you did it and every time I looked at it I'd feel happy. I know it's stupid and now I'm laughing thinking how obsessed with you I really was, but not anymore… not since I found out the way I truly felt.

I did a lot of stupid things behind your back, I tried killing Relena a couple of times, but you were always there to save her and when I saw the way you embraced her and held her to your chest I… I understood. I was being selfish and that was the day I planed my suicide. A perfect plan too, no body would even suspect, well not if they read this letter.

Please don't feel bad, I did this for my own good and yours, a couple of days and I would have snapped. I wrote this two days before my death, well on the day I found out about… about you and Relena. Well it was pretty obvious, but my mind refused to believe and my heart was too weak for any more pain. I can't blame her for gaining your heart, like I said it wasn't mean to be.

Wanna know something funny? I actually considered doing surgery and changing my gender. Yeah I know Duo no baka!

Waw… this is our last chat, well my last letter anyway. I wound give anything to see your expression right now, I bet it wouldn't as cold; you've always dropped your mask when I was around.

I love your eyes and your smile… and everything about you, you're perfect! I love you so much I just couldn't take it to see you with someone else even if you were happy. I'm sorry Heero.

You know what the funny thing is? I didn't even try to forget you or ignore you, because I knew it was in vain. I can't stop my heart from calling your name. I can't stop thinking about you, I can't not see you because I'd die which I already did.

I should probably end this, you may want to spent time with your… your beloved… but I don't want to leave you yet, because this will all be over, I don't want to loose the touch of your hands that for once hold me not in a bruising manner. If I end this, my letter would end up in the trash, if it didn't by now and I will be forgotten. Please don't throw away my heart, `cause this is what you're holding in your hands, my heart, and if you don't want it, than please burn it, `cause I don't want it eighter, there's too much pain inside and love I need to forget.

This is my only gift for you, my only material possession, and a part of me.

Gotta go. I cant' stand to write anymore, my mission calls, my last mission.

Oh, but one more thing. I love you Heero.

Your comrade and buddy, Duo.

P.S.: No. 13

Owari

Author's note:

Sorry I kinda killed Duo and believe me it was hard for me too.

And don't worry about No.13, there's going to be a sequel, Heero POV and you'll find out. Until than, pls RxR.