Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry ❯ Chapter 1

No, I don't own Gundam Wing, and I'm not the genius who came up with the song, Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry - That's so Ace of Base. I'm just the one who threw them together.

Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry

He cautiously looked around the room, knowing that his eyes shone with a preternaturally bright light, and that his goofy grin was plastered firmly in place. Drawing a deep, yet imperceptible breath, he launched into his attack on the silence. "Hey, Wu-bear, whatcha doin'?"

Wufei did not even trouble himself to look up from his work, "Maxwell, why must you always be such an insufferable clown? Are you here to curse us?"

/I'm never gonna say I'm sorry, I'm a clown for everyone

I'm never gonna let you down, I'm always here, like the sun./

Duo didn't let the hurt show; he didn't let Wufei see how deeply he'd been cut by the tine. He couldn't. He played his own little role in their team, and he'd play it until the end. He knew that the other pilots needed the cheer, they needed a break from the war that had robbed them of their childhood. They also needed a target to let their aggression out on. It was for their sanity and humanity that he martyred himself. He placed himself as their clown.

/I'm a loser, that is a fact for sure./

He grimaced inwardly, vaguely hearing his own comment. `What a joke, they all see me as just a fucking joke.' It was true, the only one of them that treated Duo as if he were human was Quatre. Duo groaned, not wanting to think about how Heero must feel about him.

How many times had that gun been leveled at him? How many death threats had Duo received? Dryly, he wondered if his total was anywhere near Relena's. He didn't know, but he did know that it wasn't important. AS stupid as it was, Duo had given his heart to the Perfect Solider. But he was just a joke to Heero.

No matter what the insult or injury, Duo did what he did. No regrets, he'd allow himself none. He loved these boys and he'd be there for them, always no matter what, even if meant him being their whipping boy.

/I'm never gonna say I'm sorry, I'm a clown for everyone,

I'm never gonna let you down, I'm always here, like the sun./

Duo watched with rapt interest as Heero strode past, his broad graceful step bringing him across the small room quickly. The realization that there was no love there for him, only contempt made Duo sigh. But nothing could keep him from following the Wing pilot like a ghost, never abandoning his mission - despite the pain.

/Like a ghost I'll follow your steps so true,

You don't have to bribe me Ophelia,

Give me just a minute to shine with you

I could make you so happy, make you laugh./

Duo knew he could make Heero laugh, make him smile, but something in the other boy's past had turned him cold. Something had happened to Heero to make him hurt a great deal, and every since then he'd closed off the world. What this how Hamlet felt when Ophelia lost it? Did he feel this isolated, helpless, and alone? But he would never give up on Heero; he would make the boy find something in himself worth keeping. He had to find something to make the cold boy want to survive.

There was one tactic that he'd not tried. It was rash, rude, and foolish, all the words that the other pilots would have used to define Duo Maxwell. Though, the fear of rejection flowed through him like ice water, his mind was set and he wasn't changing it. Maybe if Heero knew some one cared, maybe then he'd open up. Anxious to try his new plan of attack, he followed Heero.

/I'm never gonna say I'm sorry for the essence of my soul./

`No regrets,' he reminded himself. He did this for them, his surrogate family, his team. Heero needed him and Duo was going to try anything to make Heero feel better. And who knew… maybe Heero felt the same. Not bloody likely, but it was a pretty picture.

/There's so many ways to change a life, and I want to./

Oh he wanted to. He'd wanted to show Heero his love for a very long time, and the thought of doing it now made him feel open and vulnerable. At least it would clear the air and Duo would know for sure where he stood.

He knew he had no room for hope, but he held onto it firmly. He knew that if all went south, he could play it off as a joke. Technically it wasn't a lie, but in reality, it was. And Duo didn't like lying to those he cared about. But he was Duo the Joke, and he rolled on, take the punched and suffer the abuse from his friends. It was his duty.

/I'm like a clown, I have fun for everyone

/I'm like a clown, I have fun for everyone./

He'd caught up to Heero faster than he's anticipated and now those beautiful cobalt eyes burned into his own. Duo would not back down. He had to tell Heero how he felt.

/I'm never gonna say I'm sorry…/

He braced himself quickly, capturing Heero's mouth without warning or preamble. It was brief but irrevocable, and Duo knew he'd laid it all down for Heero to see. The kiss itself was amazing. It was sweet and warm, so intoxicated that Duo didn't feel Heero's fist connect with his face. In truth, he was on the floor watching Heero stalk away before he really new which end was up. It was very soon after that that Duo's heart shattered.

/I'm a clown for every one./