Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Nevergreen ❯ Chapter 7

Nevergreen 7/?

Heero had never been so glad to hear the school bell. Packing up his books, he left his desk in relatively decent order and rushed out the door before any of the other teachers even had a chance to return to the staffroom after class. He avoided the senior quadrangle and headed straight for the main office, signing off before the first bus arrived to pit students up and disappearing from the school grounds a long time before any embarrassingly sweet blonde senior girls could even think of trying to find him.

He breathed a sigh of relief once he reached Scott Street, climbing the steep hill slowly, letting the heat sink into his skin and delighting in the sweat the began pooling. It no longer felt wrong, no longer felt a nuisance. It was a sign he was outside, in the sun, alone with only the birds for company. It meant he was no longer at school. Stupid and childish, the entire scenario took Heero back to his own school-hating days which had apparently never really come to an end. It made him wonder if it ever would. When did the class end, the education complete itself, the desire to learn run dry? There must be a point, a turning lane off the highway, an exit ramp…But the ramp had led to another school, and another class with new learning experiences. Heero was not sure what he should make of his life. Any part of it, and that was more than a little disconcerting.

So he just walked. Home. And that was all he needed to know.

The house was eerily quiet, which was strange considering neither Trowa or himself really spoke that often. It made Heero realize just how often there was more than just two of them, and how much he appreciated that. It also made him acutely aware of just how much he had come to depend on the presence of the other man.

"It's only been four days…" Heero mumbled to himself, but his heart knew it had been a lot longer. A lifetime, or two or three…how long was eternity to an instrument within the body that breathed to its own rhythm? How long had it been…since everything. Anything.

He put the kettle on as he breezed through the kitchen, opened the back door, leaving the thin screen between himself and the outside world of gathering mozzies as he grabbed a pair of King Gee shorts from his closet and a short sleeve black t-shirt. It was a little dressy, but he wasn't planning on seeing the students, so what did it matter? Besides, he needed to go shopping.

The kettle boiled and he returned to the kitchen, grabbing two mugs and tossing a tea bag in each before filling them up and letting the water turn its murky, dirty brown, so dark it was easy to forget the dirty colour the water had been originally. So easy to forget so many things.

The front door opened and closed, but no words came. Heero smiled and held one of the mugs out, picking the teabags out and tossing them in the sink to do something about later. He heard a pleased sigh and the weight of the mug was removed from his fingers. Heero still didn't turn, merely picked up his own mug and inhaled the scent. Tea, dust, burnt water. The Bush.

"Long day," Trowa noted absently as he shrugged his bag off his back and sat down at the bench. "Thanks for coming to the art class. Kids enjoyed it."

Heero just nodded and it was a given that he would do it again. Anytime. Trowa had one of those odd little smiles playing on his lips that made Heero feel a little happier. He couldn't begin to say why, though something was still nagging at the back of his mind.

"You going somewhere?" Trowa was eyeing his change of clothes skeptically. Heero merely shrugged.

"Parkes. Need to go shopping."

"If you go the extra hour to Orange, the shops are open til midnight on Tuesday and Thursday for this month."

Heero nodded. That was well worth the trip, and he could catch a movie, maybe go see a band…get out of the town for a night. Only…he didn't want to go alone. He looked at Trowa expectantly, but the other man took his time to finish his tea, not looking up, savoring every last inhaled breath before he finally put the mug down and met Heero's gaze.

"I always wanted to get a ride in a BMW…"

Heero cocked an eyebrow, recalling his car was smashed and wondering if Trowa was really going to make him drive it to orange, or if they would just take the Ute.

"You forgot, right," Trowa noted wryly as he grabbed he grabbed his keys off the bench. "Don't worry, we'll drop by the tip on the way. Wufei said he would meet us there."

Blinking, Heero remembered the trip to the Tip to pick up his `new' car…or what was left of it. Sighing heavily, he followed Trowa out the door, shoving his wallet into his back pocket as he locked the front door, the sound of Trowa's Ute starting in the garage making him wonder why he hadn't just decided to go buy a Ute.

"You comin, or do ya wanna stay here and see if your feet sprout roots?"

Heero stuck his finger up at Trowa as he walked around to the passenger door, pushing the garage door down on his way past. Mr. Black was sitting on his lounge on the verandah across the road as the backed out so they both waved congenially as Trowa revved the engine.

"Fat fuck," they mumbled in unison, and Heero found he rather like the low, gentle chuckle that slithered free of Trowa's throat. It was soothing, slow, and brown, somehow, like the grass and the trees they passed as they headed west, beyond Condo and into the brush on a thin brown strip of dust that liked to masquerade as a road, following the dingy tin signs that merely said `Tip'. Heero wished they would give him a tip, a clue of some kind, but all he saw ahead was the sparseness that characterized the place and all that he could see in their wake through the rearview mirror was a cloud of red so thick it seemed almost foreboding.

The smoke came into view before anything else; long, curling tendrils of grey that could almost be mistaken for cloud if it weren't for the darkness of it, and the fact the whole rest of the sky was a piercing, unrelenting blue. The closer they got the warmer it seemed to be until finally the air all around them was so thick and heavy Heero felt a cough burning the back of his throat. And still they continued until they came around a bend and sailed over a thin grate, through wired fence that might have once had gates…

It rather looked like hell, with its sickly, ghostly gums sticking out of the hazy smoke-filled air, tinted red by the red dust picked up by the lazy wind. On one side sprawled a metal graveyard of broken dishwashers, washing machine's, cars, trucks…twisted epitaphs of a thousand accidents and God only knew how many deaths long forgotten. And to the right were the trenches; long strips of earthen gorges half filled with smoking trash, slowly burning into melted piles of dust and goo as the twisted, turning plastic bags of the town's junk shriveled and died, leaving only the sickly stench of its self behind.

There were two other Utes; one stamped with the Evergreen Station logo, the other baring an unfamiliar insignia that could only be for the Asian Resort. Quatre and Wufei. And Duo, Heero reminded himself as he saw a third figure shift through the haze near the metal graveyard, twisting and turning, calling to Quatre, looking for all the world like he belonged. A shiver ran through Heero that he refused to acknowledge as he forced himself to move forward, through the eerily quiet madness, toward his…student.

"Oi, I found it! It might take us a bit to get it out but…" Duo called as he climbed off the hood of an old Camira, leaving dusty footprints in his wake. He waved to a car not too far away from the heap, but still relatively clean in comparison to the rest. Interest a little piqued, Heero headed for the indicated wreck, and was more than a little surprised to realize his first impression was that…he liked it.

It was a black V8 commodore, the side completely smashed in, the décor burnt and the glass long gone. The entire centre console had been torn out not long ago, leaving the wires to spill all over the front seats and already it was smothered in a fine layer of ash. But…he liked it.

"Those idiots survived this crash?" Heero mused, trying to imagine the Reid boys crawling out the windows as the fuel tank threatened to explode. Scary yes, but somehow comical. Like ants, a little.

Walking around to the side, Heero leant down to look at the underside. It needed a lot of work, but it was nothing he didn't feel confident he could do, and he recalled Trowa mentioning that mechanic, Darby, was damn good. It was doable. But what really decided him, what he really liked most about it? Was the look on Duo's face when he stood up straight looked the car up and down and simply said `why not'. It was some bastard mix of disbelief, excitement and absolute, all-consuming hope. It made Heero realize that Duo had been waiting for something, some sign that Heero really was here to stay. That he wasn't about to be abandoned…But the full implications of that realization were something Heero knew he could not allow himself to face.

"You think we can do it Barton?" He asked instead, turning a little away from Duo, while moving closer at the same time, their shoulders slightly brushing.

"Yuy, if you even suggest I can't paint your fuckin car well enough I'll cover it in bloody numbers big enough that even the pre-school will be able to use it for math lessons."

Blinking, Heero simply nodded as Quatre laughed and Wufei moved off to grab his cell phone. A call was made and Heero wondered why you could get reception in such a remote area, but then it didn't really matter, because some guy called Mr. Scott was already on his way to pick up the wreck and drive it into town. Wufei would drop in and pay him later. Raising a brow, Wufei just waved off Heero's slight inquisition.

"It's got five seats, Yuy. I'll bum a ride off you enough times when it's fixed to warrant forking out a bit of cash now, don't you worry." The grin on Wufei's face was far from calming to Heero, who felt as if he was staring at some vicious wild animal about to eat him rather than a normal, rather slight human being.

"Let's get going then," Trowa drawled as he started walking back to the Ute's, suspiciously close to Quatre. It was obvious they were speaking in hushed tones, heads a little lower as they strove to hear one another without sharing their conversation. It made Heero realize the…possibilities of…things.

"Where we goin?" Duo yelled, racing forward to fall into step with Heero, Wufei coming up on the other side, a small crinkle of amusement on his face as he watched Trowa and Quatre.

"I told you this morning," Trowa yelled. "Shopping!"

Wufei blinked. Duo scrunched up his nose in thought.

"I thought you were talking about the car," they all heard Quatre mumble and Heero wondered just how Trowa had known that he would want to go shopping that afternoon. It seemed there just might be more to the art teacher than Heero had originally assumed, and he found he liked that idea. It was somehow…cool.

Duo suddenly leaned over and started rubbing something off on his shirt.

"What's that?"

Duo, a little startled, opened his hands to reveal a small statuette. Heero recognized it immediately as Saint Helen, the patron saint of music. Having attended a private boys catholic school, he had a feeling religious education was not something he would forget any time soon, but he had a feeling Duo had no idea what it was he held.

"Do you know who it is?" Heero asked quietly, aware of Wufei quietly moving on ahead, giving them space. Like Trowa, Heero was beginning to realize there might just be a little more to Wufei, too…or perhaps what was there was simply what had always been and they were letting Heero see it; letting him into their world. Because he had finally let himself be a part of it. It made Heero smile, slightly, and the sudden change in his expression seemed to loosen something in Duo, who leaned a little closer as he ran a finger caressingly over the small statuette.

"Does it matter who it is?"

"I suppose not…" Heero replied, a little confused. He wanted to know why it had attracted Duo. Did Duo often collect junk from the Tip? What did he do with it? And why? So many things he found he suddenly wanted to know. Not needed, just wanted. Like with…

"It's pretty."

Heero raised his brows disbelievingly as he stared at the filthy little statuette in Duo's palm, slightly mangled, and more than a little burnt. It looked like it had been caught standing too close to a candle in church…Duo chuckled.

"If you cover it with your hand, it's nothing special. Just a chunk of old silver," Duo noted softly. "But take away your hand, put it out in the light where people can see it…" Duo opened his palm fully and shifted the figure into the line of the afternoon sun. Even through the haze the two met, touched, melded and the silver seemed to glow a dark red.

"Take away the things that hold it down, and it's not so bad."

Heero smiled, daring to reach out, to run his fingers through the beam of light, casting shadows around the figurine, forcing the sunlight to dance across the silver in startled patterns.

"It's not pretty," his whispered so only Duo could hear. "It's beautiful." And he walked away before Duo could see the dark blush that suddenly stained his cheeks.

"Oi, Heero," Trowa called out from the Ute. "You wanna drive?"

Before he could answer, Trowa tossed Heero the keys and moved away from his Ute altogether, heading for Quatre's. Wufei was already in his, the engine starting, so Heero didn't argue, merely walked to the driver side of Trowa's and got in. Duo didn't even hesitate to open the passenger door, more than willing to come along for the ride.

They didn't talk, keeping the windows down and letting the hot air smash across their faces as they roared along the red road, the smoke stench slowly fading, replaced with the smell of dust; of the Bush. Duo stuck his hand out the window and grabbed at low hanging branches on their way past, hand scoring more than a few scratches from a few close calls, but Heero didn't stop him, noticing the silver figurine still clutched in one hand.

When they reached the gravel road, Heero wound up his window and waited the five minutes it took Duo to follow suit before he cleared his throat.

"It's Saint Helen."

Duo seemed confused at first, then his fist tightened just a fraction and Heero knew he understood. It was another ten minutes, after they were passing through Derrawong that Duo finally asked.

"What's she the saint of?"

"Music."

A small smile played on Duo's lips after that and Heero turned on the radio, not really caring what station it was, merely that music filled the world for that brief moment, because it seemed to make Duo calm, which he hadn't been…

Because Duo had not been calm all afternoon. Heero noted the way Duo had been moving constantly all afternoon, never standing still, as if trying to keep moving, to get away. If he hadn't known any better, Heero would have assumed it was a problem at school. Maybe an argument with a teacher, a fight with one of the boys, an argument with a friend, troubles with a girl…But Heero did know better. Too much better and it pained him to know that Duo hadn't been at school after lunch, and that Heero had been. Talking to a cow, of all things.

They reached Parkes before Heero collected the nerve to say anything.

"Did you get any lunch?"

"Yeah, Wufei took me to the red dog after…" Hesitation. "Got me a burger." Dry swallow.

"Thirsty?"

Duo looked out the window and noticed where they were, a slight smile brightening his features once more.

"Lemonade."

Heero just nodded as he gave the order for the two drinks to the small speaker at Maccas, driving the Ute around the drive through ramp, following Trowa and Quatre the whole way, to pick it up before heading on their way once more.

Orange is a pretty town, ten times the size of Condo and pretty much a city by country standards. The first thing that struck Heero was the number of trees. The second was the colour. This place was green; all of it alive and filled with fresh air and cool breezes. You could almost taste the moisture in the wind, and it didn't taste like week old sweat. It was refreshing, cooling, a respite of some kind.

And at the same time, it was too clean, too cool, too…green.

The shopping centre was a large indoor complex, smothered in posters advertising the month's unique closing times. It wasn't difficult to find a park and they soon gathered at the door's leading from the garage to the shops. Quatre looked a little flushed, in Heero's opinion, and Trowa looked even more calm, if that was even possible. Snickering, Wufei pushed past them all and headed inside and it occurred to Heero that there was no real reason the other man had come other than to spend time with them. As a group. As…friends.

Duo tugged at the sleeve of Heero's t-shirt, pulling him inside, breathing a heavy sigh of relief as they all shared an appreciative look.

Air conditioning.

"I have to pick up an order for the Station," Quatre said softly, already hooking his fingers into the belt holes of Trowa's jeans as he headed off in the direction of the supermarket. Trowa waved to them all briefly, not bothering to argue. Heero thought not wanting to. Wufei glanced around the small square they were in, grinned, and didn't say a word as he sauntered off toward a jewelers. Shrugging, Duo just looked at Heero and waited.

Not sure he was comfortable with the idea of Duo watching him try on clothes, Heero nonetheless headed for Big W, figuring he could just buy the generic sizes for the cheapest prices and fit in perfectly. A brand name didn't really mean anything if it didn't have a price tag that matched, and that was just the anonymity Heero was looking for.

"Clothes?" Duo asked, and his face seemed to light up as he looked Heero up and down in a way that made the poor girl going guard duty out the front of the store blush a dark red. It made Heero want to run away as hard and fast as possible, except he'd already done that and it was what had landed him where he was in the first place. He didn't really think you could get any further away from the world than Condobolin. Except perhaps Evergreen, which was a world all its own.

It didn't take long before Heero was being shoved into a change room to try things on, and even then he was able to discard most of the items within the first few seconds of wear. Too itchy, not cut right, wrong sizing tag. Heero was beginning to remember why he liked brand names, when he realized that the few items he liked, that fitted well and looked good, were all items Duo had chosen. Staring at his reflection in the mirror as he ran his hands over a dark blue winter shirt and black cords, Heero realized, for the first time in a long time, that he liked what he saw.

He looked stronger than usual. More confident, more at ease, as if…he no longer depended on someone else. He had finally come into his own, at some point, without ever having noticed it. He had found himself a life, friends…maybe more, if he could just grow the guts to take it. It made him smile as he dressed in his own clothes once more and sauntered out of the change room, striding through the racks of clothes in search of Duo.

Heero found Duo looking at cds, absently rubbing a hand over his side and wincing every now and then as he read the tracks listed on the back. It was a familiar cd to Heero, who had burnt a copy off Noin months ago, but it was listed as brand new here in Orange. Some things took time to reach the Bush…Hell, most things, including Heero himself.

Reaching out and snatching the cd out of Duo's hands, putting it back on the shelf, Heero grabbed the bottom of Duo's shirt and tugged, ignoring Duo's spluttered protests.

"I was reading that!"

"I've got it on my computer. I'll burn you a copy…" Heero had meant to say later tonight, but stopped when his gaze caught on the slither of skin visible where he had pulled Duo's shirt free of his trousers. It might have been scintillating. Tantalizing even. It might have been distracting. Instead it filled Heero with an icy rage he had never truly felt before and it took everything to reel it in, to control it, and to let none of it show on his face. Because the skin there was as close to black as skin could come.

"You'll burn it for me?" Duo was asking, a little disbelieving. "Just like that? I…I don't have the money to even give you a blank cd Heero…"

Heero just shrugged, tugging on the shirt once more, forcing Duo to fall into him or step closer, the younger boy choosing the latter option. It helped calm Heero's rising temper as he let his hand caress the injured hip and he felt Duo jump, a little startled, but ignored the reflex, pulling Duo toward the checkout.

He was completely distracted as the lady rung up the amount and he handed over his credit card. His mind was racing in circles, recalling Duo's fear in art class, the way the Goologong brothers had looked at Heero as if daring him to try to help them. Wufei promising to go with Duo, Wufei taking Duo out for lunch after…after something Duo refused to mention. Wufei, hovering nearby at the Tip, but giving Duo the space to approach who he wanted; Heero. All the little things, the slow things, the dirty things. The thing that were hidden unless you brushed them off and put them in the sun to shine…

"You'll really burn me a copy?" Duo asked as they pushed their way through the small crowd that had gathered for late night shopping. Heero forced himself to smile reassuringly as he nodded, pleased when Duo's step seemed to lighten that little bit. Quatre and Trowa were waiting for them in the food square, surrounded by bags; the Evergreen weekly order. That wasn't what startled Heero. Rather it was Quatre himself, collapsed completely in his chair. Sprawled out across Trowa's lap as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"A different town," Wufei whispered in Heero's ear. "And a different world." Heero thought he might just understand, and made sure to maneuver himself so that Duo was walking near Quatre and Trowa and he was alone with Wufei as they made their way slowly back to the garage.

"What's wrong Yuy?"

Heero grimaced, wondering if it was that obvious to all of them or if it was just Wufei.

"His hip."

"Ah," Wufei agreed, but with what it was hard to say. "Stupid fucker was drunk when we got there and ordered Duo to get the dining room ready for the evening. Duo told him he had to go back to school after lunch and the bastard tossed a bloody stool at him."

Wincing, Heero merely nodded. He had known, yes, but somehow the words made it more real; the saying it out loud brought it out of the languid ease of Condo and into the open. It was not some dead, dying decaying thing that would be forgotten amongst the browning Bush, but a living, green, breathing truth that Heero would not forget. Would not allow himself to ignore.

"Don't cause trouble Heero," Wufei hissed, noticing the set of Heero's shoulders. "He's eighteen. He can get out, and he's smart enough to figure the way to do it. Just give him time."

Time…Just give him…time.

Pain clutched at Heero, coming from something pushed so far down it threatened to double him over, but he remained standing. Those words were so familiar, so well worn, it was terrifying. They were words spoken by friends, colleagues, people who said they understood. People who seemed to know. People who should have known better. They were words without truth; words without a future. Hopeless words, for people who couldn't see that when you needed to hear them it meant there was no time left. Heero had heard those words a thousand times, listened to them, believed in them, given everything over to them…and in the end….in the end…

He only needed the time to tell him he was leaving. In the end, that was all time was worth; the amount of time it took to say you're not enough, not good enough. That you don't matter enough. Time was a length of enough Heero knew he could never meet. Just give him time? There was no such thing.

"Heero? You okay?" Wufei was looking at him oddly, having no real idea what was wrong. Heero merely shrugged the other's concern away as inconsequential. Did they truly understand, or was the image of his reflection a lie? It had only been four days…

Nothing could change in four days, could it?

I think I could leave, if it weren't for the sunsets.

The sun had set when they emerged into the open-air garage and it took time to see the Utes in the dark. Duo was already waiting beside Quatre's, looking a little disappointed. Heero sighed as he made his way to Trowa's.

"Still got my keys?"

Heero dug them out of his pocket and made to throw them, but Trowa never raised a hand to catch.

"I'll ride with Quatre. We'll go via Evergreen, meet you at home. First one there gets to make up the extra beds."

And Heero was left standing with the keys at the passenger door, dumbfounded and more than a little lost, as Trowa and Quatre drove away, followed by Wufei, leaving Duo to push him aside as he climbed in.

Tossing his new clothes on the back seat, Heero wrenched open the drivers door and climbed in, then just sat there, still not sure what he was feeling, what he wanted to say. Knowing only that he wanted to say something.

"You ever been to Ootha?"

"The ghost town? Sure, lotsa times," Duo replied, looking a little confused.

"Ever been there at night?"

Duo grinned as he shook his head, reaching over his shoulder to pull on his belt as Heero revved the engine. It was something he had wanted to do since he first came to Condo, and it didn't matter if that was only four days ago or four lifetimes, he was going to do it now. Because there wasn't any time that would be enough…there wasn't any time at all, unless you went beyond it, and lost yourself to one moment.

Heero finally understood. He had to move beyond the green. Beyond the hands that held him in, pushed him down in the dark. He had to go out, into the light and find the gold…find something worth dusting off and breathe life into a dream that was never green.